"Old Fashioned" or "Traditional" gender roles
Replies
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That sucks...and I'm sorry. When my boys mom and I were together...she did many of the same things for me when I got home (I worked from 4am until sometimes later than 4pm usually, 5-6 days a week). However, I also did all of the same things for her. She did an excellent job keeping the house clean, and taking care of the kids. I know that that is work...regardless of whether it's the same kind or difficulty of work that I was doing. Our time together after I got home, was relaxation and appreciation time for both of us...not time for her to let me relax and be appreciated because I worked so hard all day.
Do you teach classes on how to treat a lady? You should
It might save a relationship or 2...it took me leaving for my ex-husband to realize how badly he was treating me and the kids and even then, it took at least another 6 months for it to completely sink in.
Lol...no classes, I wouldn't trust myself =p.
See, I've got the feeling I'm completely hopelessly broken in some way I can't comprehend, because after all the women that say 'Oh wow...you're incredible!!'...I have to say to myself that if that were true, I wouldn't be single lol.0 -
Wow, so many people have this wrong, or at least a warped view of it. A "role" is talking about a role within the household, it goes way beyond opening doors and pulling out chairs.
Traditional or old fashioned roles refer to the times when the man would go to work all day and bring home the bacon. The woman would stay home to take care of the kids, cook, clean, and have dinner ready when the man gets home. The man would be the provider and the women would be the nurturer.0 -
That sucks...and I'm sorry. When my boys mom and I were together...she did many of the same things for me when I got home (I worked from 4am until sometimes later than 4pm usually, 5-6 days a week). However, I also did all of the same things for her. She did an excellent job keeping the house clean, and taking care of the kids. I know that that is work...regardless of whether it's the same kind or difficulty of work that I was doing. Our time together after I got home, was relaxation and appreciation time for both of us...not time for her to let me relax and be appreciated because I worked so hard all day.
Do you teach classes on how to treat a lady? You should It might save a relationship or 2...it took me leaving for my ex-husband to realize how badly he was treating me and the kids and even then, it took at least another 6 months for it to completely sink in.
Lol...no classes, I wouldn't trust myself =p.
See, I've got the feeling I'm completely hopelessly broken in some way I can't comprehend, because after all the women that say 'Oh wow...you're incredible!!'...I have to say to myself that if that were true, I wouldn't be single lol.
It's not you...it's us & I apologize on behalf of my gender, LOL 0 -
I think it really depends on the situation
I dont do any of the trash..hubby does
I have never mowed a lawn..hubby does.
I do ALL the cooking.
I do ALL the finances..(I am the sugar mama)
It works great for us..cause I am of East Indian decent..so i do fall into that traditional role..and he is from Pennsylvania coal mining family values0 -
The man has to kill the bugs...
Uh oh - not in my house :noway:
not in my house either. If my husband sees a spider he screams like a girl and runs away.0 -
Feminism took a wrong turn when women tried to be the SAME as men. Equal doesn't mean identical. Women and men have naturally different roles obviously, and while there are some exceptions, men like women who are feminine and women like men who are manly. How they define those characteristics differs, but there are some constants. I don't know many women who like a guy that cries every time he sees a baby. And I don't know many men who like women that have farting contests.
Well said!
I agree with this as well... I don't see any men having babies either...
Personally, I do have traditional role tendancies... but that's just because I do it better.. I'm better at the planning of meals... I'm better at the cleaning... and just taking care of our overall health and wellness... whereas, my husband is better at taking care of the yard, the vehicles, and the finances. We both work 40 hours a week and we still do things together and alone. It's all about balance and being a partner and doing what works for you... regardless of what the roles are.0 -
That sucks...and I'm sorry. When my boys mom and I were together...she did many of the same things for me when I got home (I worked from 4am until sometimes later than 4pm usually, 5-6 days a week). However, I also did all of the same things for her. She did an excellent job keeping the house clean, and taking care of the kids. I know that that is work...regardless of whether it's the same kind or difficulty of work that I was doing. Our time together after I got home, was relaxation and appreciation time for both of us...not time for her to let me relax and be appreciated because I worked so hard all day.
Do you teach classes on how to treat a lady? You should It might save a relationship or 2...it took me leaving for my ex-husband to realize how badly he was treating me and the kids and even then, it took at least another 6 months for it to completely sink in.
Lol...no classes, I wouldn't trust myself =p.
See, I've got the feeling I'm completely hopelessly broken in some way I can't comprehend, because after all the women that say 'Oh wow...you're incredible!!'...I have to say to myself that if that were true, I wouldn't be single lol.
It's not you...it's us & I apologize on behalf of my gender, LOL
Careful young lady! Or you'll quickly feel the wrath of the MFP chapter of the United Feminazi Coalition for setting women's rights back 50yrs with that statement!
I do appreciate you taking the target off my back for awhile though. 0 -
Wow, so many people have this wrong, or at least a warped view of it. A "role" is talking about a role within the household, it goes way beyond opening doors and pulling out chairs.
Traditional or old fashioned roles refer to the times when the man would go to work all day and bring home the bacon. The woman would stay home to take care of the kids, cook, clean, and have dinner ready when the man gets home. The man would be the provider and the women would be the nurturer.
Sometimes, that sounds like such a great idea.... for me anyway...0 -
In my house... the woman does the plumbing, drywall, painting, carpentry, landscaping/yardwork and taking care of the cats. Because I'm really good at handyman stuff and enjoy it, and he's not and doesn't.
The man and woman share duties on cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the dog. Currently, the man has a job and the woman doesn't :frown: so I take most of those other duties, too.0 -
If I saw someone go out of their way to write that on a dating site, what it would mean to me is that they're possibly close-minded, homophobic, probably a bit sexist, and that I don't care to write to them.
Well, that's a bigotted way of dealing with it... you wouldn't even ask what their version of "traditional" is... because as we can see, it's open to interpretation here... It's really like defining "normal".0 -
Can I be completely blunt?
Old fashioned, to me, means;
Courting. Not dating. This means pursuing someone you wish to marry. Not just for a companion to have fun with.
No pre-marital sex. Old fashioned, to me, means keeping it in your pants until you've made the decision to say I want to be with you forever.
Having manners. Please. Thank you. No cell phone during the date. Being aware of your surroundings and attempting to make those around you comfortable by not being an *kitten*. Not swearing in mixed company. Etc. I know this one sounds odd but manners seem to be a thing of the past and thus are an 'old-fashioned' concept.
And that's what old-fashioned or traditional means to me in this context. I don't see why that would be bothersome for anyone but hey, to each their own.0 -
Wow, so many people have this wrong, or at least a warped view of it. A "role" is talking about a role within the household, it goes way beyond opening doors and pulling out chairs.
Traditional or old fashioned roles refer to the times when the man would go to work all day and bring home the bacon. The woman would stay home to take care of the kids, cook, clean, and have dinner ready when the man gets home. The man would be the provider and the women would be the nurturer.
Perhaps I misread the OP but it's lead to interesting discussions don't you think?
Traditional gender roles work just fine for some people and not for others. No biggee.0 -
My husband and I do have a fairly traditional relationship. I run the household. I'm a SAHM. He brings home the bacon, and I have dinner ready when he gets home. I make breakfast and pack his lunch. He plays with the kids and does their baths and bedtimes at night. He pays the bills. I do the grocery shopping. It works for us.0
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In my house... the woman does the plumbing, drywall, painting, carpentry, landscaping/yardwork and taking care of the cats. Because I'm really good at handyman stuff and enjoy it, and he's not and doesn't.
The man and woman share duties on cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the dog. Currently, the man has a job and the woman doesn't :frown: so I take most of those other duties, too.
I don't mind helping doing these types of things... I actually do all the painting... and the taking care of the cats... I recently told my husband that I wanted to get myself my own toolkit (mostly cause I hate rifling through his things in the garage for a screw driver... especially, when it's too cold or too hot), so I could do simple repairs around the house... after he teased me a bit about wanting to get rid of him, he suggested I (with his help of course) install the dishwasher when we replace it.0 -
men should
* pay the bill when dining out
* the man should give the orders to the waitress ( i tell hubby want i want, he tells the wait staff)
* open doors
* wait for the woman to sit down at the table
^ take out the trash
women should
* make sure the home is clean ( now of course, if she works and he doesn't, then that is different but i;m talking about traditional house wife)
* cook the meals
* tend the children
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now i am a modern woman with old fashion traits
my man pays all the bills (im not working now anyway)
he places my orders for me
when we are out .. he does the heavy lifting
i cook and clean
but when he isn't home, i also cut the grass, make minor repairs in the house
i can change a tire, check oil , pump the gas( stuff women needs to know if they drive :laugh: )
** i do believe your man should be pleased .. i make sure when he gets in, his chair is ready, his slippers are by his chair and i get his food/drinks when he wants something ** .. i also make sure his clothes are laid out for the next day .. this is just how we live..
we do not tell each other what we can or can not do .. but i feel since i am at home for now, i should care for the home ..
he is working and earning the money - so he handles paying the bills (sorry i rambled on)
I have no objections to any of these things... except ordering. I order my own food, thanks. :-)0 -
For sure, things have definitely come a long way, most households just find a middle ground that works for both of them.Perhaps I misread the OP but it's lead to interesting discussions don't you think?
Traditional gender roles work just fine for some people and not for others. No biggee.
Guys are traditionally expected to pay for dates because traditionally they have always been the bread winners. But these days most women have jobs. I've been out with a few women that make more money than I do, does that mean they should pay? They seem to like the traditional role of me opening doors for them and me paying, yet they don't really know how to cook and they have no intention of staying home when they have children. It doesn't work like that (well, maybe for some people).
It's like...you can't expect me to open doors for you after you've just gotten finished lecturing me about how women can do everything just as well as a man can do it.0 -
For sure, things have definitely come a long way, most households just find a middle ground that works for both of them.Perhaps I misread the OP but it's lead to interesting discussions don't you think?
Traditional gender roles work just fine for some people and not for others. No biggee.
Guys are traditionally expected to pay for dates because traditionally they have always been the bread winners. But these days most women have jobs. I've been out with a few women that make more money than I do, does that mean they should pay? They seem to like the traditional role of me opening doors for them and me paying, yet they don't really know how to cook and they have no intention of staying home when they have children. It doesn't work like that (well, maybe for some people).
It's like...you can't expect me to open doors for you after you've just gotten finished lecturing me about how women can do everything just as well as a man can do it.
This, times like...a lot :laugh:
Although I do like a man to be a gentleman, I don't really cook....because I suck at it. I'm also in school so that I can have a career...I wouldn't mind staying home if I was with someone who had a good enough job to support a family, but I do like the idea of having a good career myself. I don't think one negates the other.0 -
The sex better be freaking amazing. :]Doesn't this mean I please you sexually and then make you a sammich and bring you a beer?0 -
In terms of jobs, chores, etc...doesn't matter.
But I want my man to cry less than I do, to weigh more than I do, and to know when to take charge in the sack. :devil:
I feel exactly the same way.
In my house the roles have blended, my dad was the bread winner for awhile and now he is confined to a wheel chair so now my mom is the bread winner. My mom always told me, "Make sure you never rely on anyone else because you never know what could happen." Her mom told her the same thing and it's a good thing she listened because if my mom never went to college and then got her Master's degree we would be in financial trouble. So thats how I live my life as well. A woman should never have to depend on a man but instead work together to make the relationship one of mutual resepect.0 -
Careful young lady! Or you'll quickly feel the wrath of the MFP chapter of the United Feminazi Coalition for setting women's rights back 50yrs with that statement!
I do appreciate you taking the target off my back for awhile though.
Pfft...I'm not worried about them...besides, I've had guys apologize to me on behalf of their gender...does that mean they have to turn in their man cards? LOL!! :bigsmile:0 -
Careful young lady! Or you'll quickly feel the wrath of the MFP chapter of the United Feminazi Coalition for setting women's rights back 50yrs with that statement!
I do appreciate you taking the target off my back for awhile though.
Pfft...I'm not worried about them...besides, I've had guys apologize to me on behalf of their gender...does that mean they have to turn in their man cards? LOL!! :bigsmile:
Oh, I apologize for my gender constantly...I honestly have very little respect for most of them these days. But I have to say, there's no men's group targeting guys like me for ruining all of these imaginary exclusive rights we seem to keep for ourselves either =p.0 -
Careful young lady! Or you'll quickly feel the wrath of the MFP chapter of the United Feminazi Coalition for setting women's rights back 50yrs with that statement!
I do appreciate you taking the target off my back for awhile though.
Pfft...I'm not worried about them...besides, I've had guys apologize to me on behalf of their gender...does that mean they have to turn in their man cards? LOL!! :bigsmile:
Oh, I apologize for my gender constantly...I honestly have very little respect for most of them these days. But I have to say, there's no men's group targeting guys like me for ruining all of these imaginary exclusive rights we seem to keep for ourselves either =p.
Oh I hear you...and I chalk that up to altitude sickness from being up on their high horses for too long...should I duck & cover now? Hehehe...0 -
Careful young lady! Or you'll quickly feel the wrath of the MFP chapter of the United Feminazi Coalition for setting women's rights back 50yrs with that statement!
I do appreciate you taking the target off my back for awhile though.
Pfft...I'm not worried about them...besides, I've had guys apologize to me on behalf of their gender...does that mean they have to turn in their man cards? LOL!! :bigsmile:
Oh, I apologize for my gender constantly...I honestly have very little respect for most of them these days. But I have to say, there's no men's group targeting guys like me for ruining all of these imaginary exclusive rights we seem to keep for ourselves either =p.
Oh I hear you...and I chalk that up to altitude sickness from being up on their high horses for too long...should I duck & cover now? Hehehe...
Altitude sickness! That explains EVERYTHING!!
There's a 'who should pay on the first date' thread that your refreshing outlook could do some good on =p.0 -
Altitude sickness! That explains EVERYTHING!!
There's a 'who should pay on the first date' thread that your refreshing outlook could do some good on =p.
I would definitely have to go into Witness Protection if I voiced my opinion over there...0 -
I had no idea so many of you ate bacon. Is that some sort of new diet?0
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In my house it does!Doesn't this mean I please you sexually and then make you a sammich and bring you a beer?0 -
I really don't care for the SAHM 'laziness' stigma. My wife is a SAHM and we have 4 young kids. If you think that is an easy chore, please feel free to babysit for us if you need to relax. We could use the time away. I see a lot of people working 'real jobs' that do far less work than my wife does at home.0
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Well, if you insist, I'm very "progressive" that way...0
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In our house, "old fashioned" and "traditional" are defined as:
Hubby goes to work and earns the paycheck. Hubby protects the family and disciplines the kids.
Wifey has the kids, feeds the kids, cleans the house, cleans the cars, waits on hubby hand and foot, changes diapers, does the laundry, helps the kids with the homework, does the dishes, drives everyone everywhere, and makes sure no one is choking on/spitting on/strangling/pulling someones hair someone else.
And I get no sex for it.0 -
In our house, "old fashioned" and "traditional" are defined as:
Hubby goes to work and earns the paycheck. Hubby protects the family and disciplines the kids.
Wifey has the kids, feeds the kids, cleans the house, cleans the cars, waits on hubby hand and foot, changes diapers, does the laundry, helps the kids with the homework, does the dishes, drives everyone everywhere, and makes sure no one is choking on/spitting on/strangling/pulling someones hair someone else.
And I get no sex for it.
That's not marriage... that's slavery. :laugh: :sad:0
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