Home school vs public school?

mgnmsn

My mom is thinking about homeschooling my eight year old sister. My sister is smart and nice, but she is socially awkward and has really bad anxiety (has meds for it) and this causes her to not want to go to school. My parents are considering homeschool, but I am unsure that it is a good idea. Does anybody have any opinions or experience with this? Thank you!

rubybeach

I've worked with homeschool families and public school families. The homeschool families and students who seemed most successful were the ones who had a "homeschool network" in place. The parents and students interacted on a weekly if not daily basis for support and socialization. These were the happiest homeschool students that I worked with.

Have your mom check out what homeschool groups are in her community. And good luck to your sister :flowerforyou:

niftyafterfifty

I homeschooled my two children. My daughter is now 29; my son is 26. It was a great experience for our family. Both of my children are well-educated, happy, and healthy.

SmartAlec03211988

Whatever is best for the individual.

I wouldn't have thrived in public school, so my mother chose to home school me (she had given me the choice between the two, though). I am happy that we chose that path for me, because I do not think I'd be where I am today were I in public school.

CrazyTrackLady

As a certified, licensed school teacher, I am always concerned when parents pull their children out of regular school and say they will be "homeschooling" their child from that point forward. I will share my reasons below:

1. Qualifications/educational level of parents - Can a parent reach and teach their child the important things that child needs to know? Do they know what "developmentally appropriate" is for their child's age? Are the parents knowledgeable enough about the curriculum to present it in ways the child understands?

2. Is the curriculum relevant? Is the child learning what should be learned, versus what the parents want that child to learn? (some HS programs offer "revisionist" history, where important truths are conveniently left out - eg, slavery, holocaust, etc) There are certain skill sets/requirements all children MUST know in order to be well rounded adults. Slanted or inaccurate information can negatively affect a child's future.

3. Is the parent willing to sit by their child, invest the time, and hold their children accountable for their school work? Many parents nowadays have to work, and trusting their young child to stay home and do their school work all on line is a recipe for disaster. My daughter's friend is now being homeschooled (due to bullying) and guess what? This girl only gets 5 hours of weekly school work, which is less than one full day's worth of schooling. In a WEEK.

4. Schools provide the opportunity for children to learn HOW to get along with others, even if the children are being bullied. Instead of retreating into a "safe" world, it is better to learn how to handle the bullying and work on developing self esteem. Running away from it doesn't build self confidence, it only pushes the real issues aside.

I hope this provides you with some real information to make a very educated choice. I'm not anti-HS, I am against homeschool programs that end up causing more harm than good. Make sure your child is being monitored on a regular, weekly basis, by qualified school teachers, and is learning STATE curriculum standards. If those criteria are met, then a HS program should be okay overall.

Drenched_N_Motivation

I was home schooled for 2 years before I demanded that my parents put me back into public school. I enjoyed being around my peers and my friends in school, home school was very boring and I found myself not being able to concentrate.

catattack13

my homeschooled friends are awkward but smart. make sure she does something outside of home too - sport, art club, whatever. education comes first. also possibly have her look into alternative schools and un-schooling

DarlingThief

As a certified, licensed school teacher, I am always concerned when parents pull their children out of regular school and say they will be "homeschooling" their child from that point forward. I will share my reasons below:

1. Qualifications/educational level of parents - Can a parent reach and teach their child the important things that child needs to know? Do they know what "developmentally appropriate" is for their child's age? Are the parents knowledgeable enough about the curriculum to present it in ways the child understands?

2. Is the curriculum relevant? Is the child learning what should be learned, versus what the parents want that child to learn? (some HS programs offer "revisionist" history, where important truths are conveniently left out - eg, slavery, holocaust, etc) There are certain skill sets/requirements all children MUST know in order to be well rounded adults. Slanted or inaccurate information can negatively affect a child's future.

3. Is the parent willing to sit by their child, invest the time, and hold their children accountable for their school work? Many parents nowadays have to work, and trusting their young child to stay home and do their school work all on line is a recipe for disaster. My daughter's friend is now being homeschooled (due to bullying) and guess what? This girl only gets 5 hours of weekly school work, which is less than one full day's worth of schooling. In a WEEK.

4. Schools provide the opportunity for children to learn HOW to get along with others, even if the children are being bullied. Instead of retreating into a "safe" world, it is better to learn how to handle the bullying and work on developing self esteem. Running away from it doesn't build self confidence, it only pushes the real issues aside.

I hope this provides you with some real information to make a very educated choice. I'm not anti-HS, I am against homeschool programs that end up causing more harm than good. Make sure your child is being monitored on a regular, weekly basis, by qualified school teachers, and is learning STATE curriculum standards. If those criteria are met, then a HS program should be okay overall.

^^ this. There are also certain programs/activities that you can't get involved with if you're home-schooled. I don't think learning a foreign language at home is ideal (unless there is a skype like program).

bergsangel

I would suggest looking into schools that will allow your sister to take some classes on campus or at least try to explore that option. I personally do not think that MOST homeschooled children get the equivalent education. I can agree that some (few) may get an even better one, but not the majority. Also, socialization is important. Have you all tried to focus on the root of the anxiety and maybe solve that? She is so young

jacque1129

I'd recommend cyber school, make sure it's all accredited and has good reviews. I did PA Cyber here in PA and I loved it. You work with actual teachers and classmates. They have field trip opportunities and other things to help with social interactions.

ArtemisMoon

I was in public school up until about 8th grade. I was overweight, awkward, miserable, shy...I started faking stuff to get out of school to the extent I was out of school more than in school. When I was in danger of failing my mother finally pulled me out of school and started me on homeschooling with A Beka out of Pensacola. I was much happier at home, but I also often neglected my school work and slept in because I wasn't watched over by anyone during the day. I loved the school work more because it was more challenging (I am the type who gets bored easily and I feel public schools often make things too easy) but I was lazy and could not be trusted alone. I think my mother thought I would never get any better socially and it did delay me for quite a while. I did graduate on time no thanks to my own behavior, and despite my slacking I had high scores in everything but math so they heavily encouraged me to go to college. So while working full time over the years I have been working towards my bachelors and should have it by this time next year! I am doing much better socially and I have a good job that has helped me grow socially as I learned what I would need to move up the ladder.

So the point of this is that it really depends on the person and what they make of it as to whether this will end up being a good thing for your sister. Personally, I think I am doing better now than I would have done had I stayed in public school. I think time away from my peers and time to develop at my own pace helped me develop confidence that I would have never gotten staying in a place where I was miserable. But I also know I would be doing even better had I not slacked off, so supervision is VERY important!

gumigal82

I say whatever works best for that individual&family. I feel personally if a family home schools, it's better to have a small group of individuals to "school" with. I would not want a child to feel isolated.
Personally, as much as public/private schools stink (for many reasons) I'd rather teach a child about the world through experience rather than shield him/her from it until he/she is fully grown. When you send the fully grown isolated/socially akward person out into society...bad news

ChelseaRW

Both have incredible and equal opportunities. BUT to say that an informally trained- in- education parent cannot successfully educate a child is ridiculous. The public school systems continue to fail as children are "conformed" to a standard that doesn't work. Many become lost in paperwork and achieving scores as a school becomes more important than developing the individual child's strengths and weaknesses. Do schools fail? Yes. Do some parents do a cruddy job homeschooling? Yes. While there are VAST opportunities given in public schools , even an under educated parent can successfully teach their children with the huge amount of resources available. There are many methods to homeschooling such as text book and workbook approaches, unit studies, Charlotte Mason approach, and some excellent online schools(in which the parent simply has to ensure the child does his/her study time). For that matter , many public schools now offer "homeschooling" online. If your sister struggles with anxiety..homeschooling may be the right thing. She can be introduced into small groups of homeschoolers slowly to see if the anxiety continues. If she "grows out of it"..there is nothing preventing her from returning to public school.

fatforthewin

I think it's wonderful that you care about your sister like this! I was homeschooled. I am a senior in college now. One poster mentioned successful homeschool families with a "network" in place - that is a terrific system and I wish I had something like that. I was very awkward in middle school. My only friends were in church youth groups and my parents changed churches quite a few times. I always felt jerked around social situations and I never really put down roots. I think that led to awkward social behavior because I was "underdeveloped" compared to other girls my age. Also, my mom and I didn't get along very well. That was a pretty major issue for me. I think my mom and I got too close for comfort and later we resented each other. BUT, it can work very well. It depends on your mom's relationship with your sister and the willingness of both of them to work together and stay on top of things. For a kid that is suffering anxiety homeschooling is a good thing. Everyone develops differently and it is a good idea to keep a tender kid sheltered from the unnecessary and often torturous world of "public school". Let her mature quietly and I think she will thank you for it in the end.

From the point of view of a "certified, licensed school teacher," homeschooling can be suspicious. I have seen it done terribly - to the point where DHS gets involved - and I have seen it done perfectly. To reiterate what I stated earlier about the parent-child relationship, the parent MUST include professionals in this decision. The parent does not possess godlike-autonomy simply because they are the parent. A parent is human and prone to err as all of us are. A well-rounded, multi-faceted approach to homeschooling which takes all considerations (developmental appropriateness, curriculum, testing, emotional relationships, etc.) into account is going to be the most successful.

fatforthewin

...it is a good idea to keep a tender kid sheltered from the unnecessary and often torturous world of "public school"

Edit: I meant "often unnecessarily torturous world of public school". What I wrote sounds like I think school is unnecessary and a torture, which is not what I mean at all!

mommared53

I know a number of young people from my church that were home schooled and are now either in college or have graduated from college and have successful careers.

the_journeyman

I work in public schools. The biggest difference in a student succeeding in public/private/home school is parental involvement. Talk to your child about school EVERY day. Help/supervise their homework every night. Talk to teachers, let them know you want to hear from them with both good and bad news. You talking to teachers, friends, and their friends' parents makes worlds of difference.

Yes. it's a time commitment, but you agreed to spend that time with your child when you brought it into the world.

JM

CrazyTrackLady

Again, I want to re-iterate that the most important part of a home school program is the parent's ability to keep their child on track and focused. Also, it's important to note that curriculums change all the time as well as state standards. To choose a program that is outdated and assume it's okay can be destructive. I teach language arts and science. I am only licensed to teach 4-9 grade. I would never be able to step into a high school biology classroom and assume I know what I'm doing. The same with algebra, calculus, physics, etc. To think that a parent without much of a college background can "teach" their child concepts that they themselves are not familiar enough with, is ridiculous. That's why teaching is a professional job requiring extensive training and retraining just to get and keep a license. It is far more complicated than what many parents think. Personally, I couldn't homeschool my own kids -- they'd drive me nuts.

Look at it this way - would you want someone without a medical license examining your child? Would you claim to know how to diagnose and treat your child's illness "at home"? A big risk, huh? Would you want your child's education to be put at risk?

CrazyTrackLady

I know a number of young people from my church that were home schooled and are now either in college or have graduated from college and have successful careers.

And I know a larger percentage of young people who attended public/private school who have gone on to become major successes as well.

jhardenbergh

no offense to anyone that is home schooled or home schooling their children, I know what your thinking here comes the insult. Well you're right. I haven't met many people that are home schooled but the ones that I have are all socially awkward. That's just my opinion based on a limited experience.

cessnaholly

Homeschooling can be done successfully. Check out HSLDA and T.E.A.C.H. which are both national homeschooling associations (different focuses but they are a good start to get general information). Get the state and national curriculum standards. Look around the area to see what home school network there is. Learn about the legal requirements in your state. It takes a lot of time to do it well but there are a ton of resources and extracurricular stuff the kids can do - like church, gymnastics, dance classes, museum classes (now a lot even offer home school classes on a regular basis), library events and more if you look. Think long and hard. Weigh your options and do your homework.

There's a home school group here on MFP too if you want to join them and ask the same question there.

hedgiie

I know a number of young people from my church that were home schooled and are now either in college or have graduated from college and have successful careers.

And I know a larger percentage of young people who attended public/private school who have gone on to become major successes as well.

in my opinion, at the end, whatever it is, it's the parent's responsibility to lead the child.

AbsoluteNG

The education of home school is generally just as good or better then going to public school. Normally when you are home schooled, you are still required to go to a testing center in order to make sure you are learning what you're suppose to be learning. I know each state is different but that's how it generally works.

Koorogi

I was home schooled from second grade until I graduated and for me personally, it was great. I am now schooling both of my children, grades 2 and 3, at home as well and they've said they wouldn't have it any other way. Though I am always open to what they would like and what works best for all of us as a family.

Currently, I am using the K12 curriculum program through CAVA (located in CA), which is a virtual academy offered through the state. It is free to enroll, free to join, all curriculum is included (free) and they even loan you a computer as well as a printer/scanner/copier if needed. There are no shipping charges either. On top of that, they send you a check to help compensate for your internet usage. There are also field trips, events, etc. available.

If you have any questions, I would be happy to offer up more information. I think that it's something that is not for everyone, but I loved it.

hedgiie

I was in public school up until about 8th grade. I was overweight, awkward, miserable, shy...I started faking stuff to get out of school to the extent I was out of school more than in school. When I was in danger of failing my mother finally pulled me out of school and started me on homeschooling with A Beka out of Pensacola. I was much happier at home, but I also often neglected my school work and slept in because I wasn't watched over by anyone during the day. I loved the school work more because it was more challenging (I am the type who gets bored easily and I feel public schools often make things too easy) but I was lazy and could not be trusted alone. I think my mother thought I would never get any better socially and it did delay me for quite a while. I did graduate on time no thanks to my own behavior, and despite my slacking I had high scores in everything but math so they heavily encouraged me to go to college. So while working full time over the years I have been working towards my bachelors and should have it by this time next year! I am doing much better socially and I have a good job that has helped me grow socially as I learned what I would need to move up the ladder.

So the point of this is that it really depends on the person and what they make of it as to whether this will end up being a good thing for your sister. Personally, I think I am doing better now than I would have done had I stayed in public school. I think time away from my peers and time to develop at my own pace helped me develop confidence that I would have never gotten staying in a place where I was miserable. But I also know I would be doing even better had I not slacked off, so supervision is VERY important!

good story thanks for sharing

pdworkman

Homeschooled my special needs kiddo from birth. He is almost 14 now, well socialized, still working hard at overcoming his rather severe learning disabilities.

thelovelyLIZ

As a certified, licensed school teacher, I am always concerned when parents pull their children out of regular school and say they will be "homeschooling" their child from that point forward. I will share my reasons below:

1. Qualifications/educational level of parents - Can a parent reach and teach their child the important things that child needs to know? Do they know what "developmentally appropriate" is for their child's age? Are the parents knowledgeable enough about the curriculum to present it in ways the child understands?

2. Is the curriculum relevant? Is the child learning what should be learned, versus what the parents want that child to learn? (some HS programs offer "revisionist" history, where important truths are conveniently left out - eg, slavery, holocaust, etc) There are certain skill sets/requirements all children MUST know in order to be well rounded adults. Slanted or inaccurate information can negatively affect a child's future.

3. Is the parent willing to sit by their child, invest the time, and hold their children accountable for their school work? Many parents nowadays have to work, and trusting their young child to stay home and do their school work all on line is a recipe for disaster. My daughter's friend is now being homeschooled (due to bullying) and guess what? This girl only gets 5 hours of weekly school work, which is less than one full day's worth of schooling. In a WEEK.

4. Schools provide the opportunity for children to learn HOW to get along with others, even if the children are being bullied. Instead of retreating into a "safe" world, it is better to learn how to handle the bullying and work on developing self esteem. Running away from it doesn't build self confidence, it only pushes the real issues aside.

I hope this provides you with some real information to make a very educated choice. I'm not anti-HS, I am against homeschool programs that end up causing more harm than good. Make sure your child is being monitored on a regular, weekly basis, by qualified school teachers, and is learning STATE curriculum standards. If those criteria are met, then a HS program should be okay overall.

These are the concerns I always have with homeschooling as well.

Most of the people I know who were home schooled still had a network of other kids and parents, and most took classes once they reached high school. Those that had this network have done pretty well in life. I just think the social aspect of a traditional school system is important.

pudadough

I would only recommend homeschooling if the family first went through some kind of teacher training, if not full on certification.

I'm a public school teacher and I think both settings can render great results, and I don't like it when people knock all homeschooling as a knee-jerk reaction. It's not right for everyone, but I think if you come to it well-prepared and knowledgeable, it can be great. It can be a great way to help kids with learning difficulties, too. They get the one on one attention they need without the anxiety of performing in front of peers.

ShrinkRapt451

My mom is thinking about homeschooling my eight year old sister. My sister is smart and nice, but she is socially awkward and has really bad anxiety (has meds for it) and this causes her to not want to go to school. My parents are considering homeschool, but I am unsure that it is a good idea. Does anybody have any opinions or experience with this? Thank you!

Who's doing the meds? Pediatrician or psychiatrist? Is she also getting any kind of therapy for her anxiety? Because while school can be a challenge for anxious kids, it's also true that the best way to make an anxiety disorder worse is to avoid everything that makes you anxious. Independent of the educational quality of homeschooling, the actual ISSUE is anxiety. Tackling that with avoidance rather than comprehensive treatment for anxiety is missing the boat. (And take it from a psychiatrist: meds alone doesn't usually provide the best outcomes for folks who suffer with anxiety.)

KimmyEB

Personally, if I ever do have kids, and lucky enough to be able to afford to stay home to teach them at home through homeschooling, I 100% for a fact would. That's just me, though.

The traditional school set-up is not ideal for everyone. Nor is homeschooling. It's a personal choice.

I'm not a "certified, licensed school teacher" YET, so I don't get to throw around big fancy-sounding words and act like I know everything, but I honestly feel that public education is failing the children of the United States. I can remember when I was in high school (class of 2004)...I learned more from searching online for random stuff than I did my teachers. They were just as biased as anyone else, and their methods of "teaching" reflected that. They certainly did nothing to prepare us for the "real world." All we learned was how to pass a standardized test, because apparently, that standardized test determined your worth as a human being and a student. It's ridiculous. Personally, if I had children, I'd want them to learn more than how to pass a test.

Koorogi

After reading some of the other comments. I would also like to say that much of the school work is actually done online. There is a certified teacher that meets with you and is available for answers to questions during business hours. There is also mandatory state testing, as of 2nd grade, with certified proctors. Some of these things may be different based on what state/area you live in as well as what school you end up joining/enrolling in. My information is solely based on Southern California's CAVA based in San Diego (using the k12 curriculum). I am just adding this in addition to my previous post.