Home school vs public school?

VegesaurusRex

"I totally agree. As a special education teacher with a masters in Autism studies I often get worried about homeschooling. My 8 years in college and graduate school were not for nothing. I learned a great deal there so I could educate your children for you."

Much of what you learned had to do with state regulations, controlling students in group situations, right? In homeschooling those issues are mostly irrelevant. I am not questioning that what you learned as a SPED grad student wasn't valuable and useful, but remember you were being trained to fit into an institution, to deal with kids in a certain setting.

I have known homeschooled autistic children. They have done wonderfully, and have overcome much of their autistic behavior. They are a product of love and concern by their parents, and that, in my opinion, truly means more than anything.

waffleflavoredtea

I've worked with homeschool families and public school families. The homeschool families and students who seemed most successful were the ones who had a "homeschool network" in place. The parents and students interacted on a weekly if not daily basis for support and socialization. These were the happiest homeschool students that I worked with.

Have your mom check out what homeschool groups are in her community. And good luck to your sister :flowerforyou:

I was homeschooled for most of my life this method, and it's AMAZING, if you can find a good homeschool program. I went to a homeschool assistance program that had a regular building and supplement classes and activities. Completely by choice I took writing and art classes, debate class, and my FAVORITE were the homeschool plays. Everyone connected so well. I've always been shy my whole life but I made lasting friends through that. Now that I'm almost 21 I look back and can't believe how amazing my childhood was. Not only due to homeschooling (though it was a big part), but I took for granted how much homeschooling allows you to be treated as an INDIVIDUAL throughout the learning process.
Unfortunately real life doesn't spoil you like that, lol. But I feel that I did not 'lack' skills in any area that I would have been better able to learn at school.
If homeschooling does seem like something you want to do, great! Each child is different, some need to be pushed quite persistently to get their work and learning done, and others (like myself when I was younger), completely learned all of my subjects on my own, 90% of the time. My parents were always there, though, if I needed help with a particularly horrible math problem, lol!

_VoV

My question is this: if children are being home schooled due to social anxiety or what not, how are they going to hold a job when they're old enough to work?

Read my posts through this thread. Homeschooled kids rarely just sit at home all day with no socialization. And not all jobs require a high degree of social interaction.

That may be true, but the OP stated that they were considering homeschooling due to social awkwardness and anxiety...not for any other reason. So in this situation, that does make a difference and it seems unlikely that this child would be willing to go out and do the social things that often occur with homeschooling.

In all likelihood, the child would be attending group home-schooling events with a parent. If anxiety becomes unbearable, the parent is there to help buffer that emotion. Also, these activities tend not to be all-day events, so they may be better tolerated than a whole day at school.

Again, what happens at college or when the child gets a job?

ETA: I'm not against homeschooling, but I think that in this situation, allowing anxiety to dictate where a kid is educated is not the best idea. School is about so much more than academics, so unless parents are able to provide opportunities (and are qualified to do it well) to overcome anxiety and navigate social situations, it might be doing the child a disservice.

In my experience, K-12 is the time in life which allows you the least choice in your interactions--you are assigned a classroom, and expected to be 'on' all day. You choose your college and work settings, where socialization occurs more in bursts (depending on the choice of college and career).

Aleciajones

"Read my posts through this thread. Homeschooled kids rarely just sit at home all day with no socialization. And not all jobs require a high degree of social interaction."

I understand that, but homeschooled children are able to CHOOSE their social activities and WHO they interact with. In public/private school you have to learn to deal with all people and many things in your path that would prepare you for the real world. Life isn't always kind and I want my children to be able to deal with that. You're right though about not all jobs requiring alot of social interaction. Very true.

We choose our activities yes but not the others involved. Public parks, martial arts classes, swim lessons and so on generally have other children and short of removing them from the situation we don't choose the other children involved. There may be some hs who are more into isolation but as others have said its not vey common.
The 'real world' is a place I don't even go as an adult. If there are people I don't like I simply do not go around them. If there are people causing trouble at my husbands job they are ignored, and often fired or moved to a different job site. I did not learn how to deal with people in school, I sat in class and for the most part did not interact outside of group lessons or structured gym classes. Outside of school, in my free time is where I learned my social skills.

Stylegal

I was homeschooled as well as my two sisters. I totally enjoyed it, wouldn't change a thing. I have not experienced any social problems. I would totally recommend it to anyone.

aippolito1

I was home schooled, and although am not against homeschooling, I do strongly suggest trying to find someone to help your sister with her social skills. She definitely won't develop those being home schooled, so that's really not a good alternative to public school for that type of problem. I know plenty of home schooled kids who never developed social skills because they weren't around other people enough. 8 hours per day in public school versus a few minutes here and there in public places is not enough. Kids need to be around other people because when they grow up and have jobs and HAVE to interact with other people, they won't know how. This causes big problems. I've seen it.

Also, once you get into difficult subjects that your mother will probably have trouble recalling because she learned it decades ago... will not benefit the child. Your mother will have to hire a tutor or put her back in school to learn these subjects. I say don't do it. It's kind of a waste.

prov31jd

Both have incredible and equal opportunities. BUT to say that an informally trained- in- education parent cannot successfully educate a child is ridiculous. The public school systems continue to fail as children are "conformed" to a standard that doesn't work. Many become lost in paperwork and achieving scores as a school becomes more important than developing the individual child's strengths and weaknesses. Do schools fail? Yes. Do some parents do a cruddy job homeschooling? Yes. While there are VAST opportunities given in public schools , even an under educated parent can successfully teach their children with the huge amount of resources available. There are many methods to homeschooling such as text book and workbook approaches, unit studies, Charlotte Mason approach, and some excellent online schools(in which the parent simply has to ensure the child does his/her study time). For that matter , many public schools now offer "homeschooling" online. If your sister struggles with anxiety..homeschooling may be the right thing. She can be introduced into small groups of homeschoolers slowly to see if the anxiety continues. If she "grows out of it"..there is nothing preventing her from returning to public school.

^^^THIS completely!!! Very well stated. Homeschooling is an INCREDIBLE advantage for children, if the parents are dedicated to it. Far superior too any public school, as the parents are the ones who are ultimately responsible for the well-being and up-bringing of their own children -- NOT THE NANNY STATE!

k8blujay2

My mom is thinking about homeschooling my eight year old sister. My sister is smart and nice, but she is socially awkward and has really bad anxiety (has meds for it) and this causes her to not want to go to school. My parents are considering homeschool, but I am unsure that it is a good idea. Does anybody have any opinions or experience with this? Thank you!

I was taught at home from the 4th grade on up through graduation. There are MANY resources out there that help parents keep their children on track, from curriculum through the school to places that will keep records for you. And the teachers editions for homeschooling are very detailed. I liked it cause I could go at my own pace, as I always got bored in a regular classroom (they always went too slow for me). And as for social aspects, there are always co-ops and associations that a family can join to get the experiences of field trips, prom and graduation (among other things). I personally (nor my brothers) are socially awkward or stunted nor are we ignorant or behind. I hold my bachelor's in science and my youngest brother striving for medical school (he is transferring to a 4 year university this fall).

Edit: gee I wonder how I graduated high school or college at all... My mom isn't a certified teacher and only had her high school diploma, yet I still did well. By the way, the textbooks are very detailed as well... More so than in traditional schools, because they assume the student is working on their own at some degree, in addition to the very detailed teachers additions, instead of having a teacher fill in the blanks.

You are fortunate you had a mother who put in her time and effort to ensure you had a balanced education. But there are parents out there who can't answer or assist their children in upper grade math concepts, grammar rules, etc, I have had many parents contact me and say "I can't help junior with his grammar, because I haven't had to study this since I was 12 and I don't remember it". If a parent does not understand the content, they are doing a disservice to their child, period. They don't have to be certified teachers, but they do have to be informed enough to help their child.

This is my biggest concern with home schooling. I would be very leery of any child who is "homeschooled" by what I consider to be unqualified adults.. Giving birth to a child does not make you automatically qualified to teach. Being educated does.

My parents couldn't remember how to factor a polynomial. I don't think they even remembered if they ever learned it in the first place (and my dad went to college to become a chemist)... The thing is, we still figured it out with the plethora of resources that were out there.

And to think you spent all that extra time learning how to do it online, when a licensed math teacher could have explained it much better and in less time.

And because that person spent all that time working it out on their own, they likely have a much better understanding of it than they would with just an explanation. I remember stuff I had to work out on my own due to a horrible teacher, who by the way was licensed. The stuff I now need to look up is the stuff I learned without having to fight my way through it. Sure it was easier, but the long term retention was not as good. To say it is always better to learn it faster is simply wrong, and while it is not always better to learn slower because of having to wrestle through the concept there are advantages to it as well.

^^^ This... oh and I was homeschooled at the advent of the internet... so no, I didn't just "look it up on the internet"... but I do have a better understanding and could factor polynomials in my head in seconds.... of course now I am out of practice and have to think a minute... But hey, that's why I still have my old math books with many notes in it...

vvanm

Have they visited her class and observed the learning atmosphere and behavior of the children? That's what I did and it would have given me anxiety as a kid. I pulled my daughter out of 4th grade and didn't worry about curriculum. We went to the bookstore and I bought her whatever her interests were. We traveled so it was a year of field trips. She became a voracious reader and I believe that set her up for learning everything. Then I put her in private school the next year where class size was smaller, teachers had more control, and she thrived on more attention. She went to public Middle School and High School where they placed her in the honors classes with great teachers, so I think it worked out well, but it's all about how the child will thrive.

TinkrBelz

I have 6 children.

We home schooled our four older children for a few years. They were involved in church activities and sports activites. They had tons of friends and were not socially awkward or backwards. My sons were always put on the All-Star teams because they were great athletes as well.

After a few years, the oldest asked if he could go to the public school. We said, yes. Once the other boys heard that we were letting him go, they wanted to go as well. So, we put all four school age boys into the public school.

Right away they were put into TAG (gifted program because they were/are smart) and advanced classes. Imagine that....they were being taught by their mom and placed into the public school advanced classes!!! How is that possible since I am not a certified teacher?

They were voted to represent their class in student council. This was because my sons already knew all of these kids from their other activities. They fit right into school, even the teachers were surprised at how they were so well adjusted.

2nd son decided to run for President of his school at the end of that school year. He won by a landslide. First kid to receive so many votes that a run-off was not needed. He served as President his 5th grade year.

3rd son decided to run for president that following year, and he also won. That school had 2 years of "TinkrBelz's" sons as their school President. The president did the morning announcements in front of the camera and represented the school in several events.

hmmm...awkward home school kids????

We did eventually put them into the private school here. Even though we loved the teachers at the public school, the public school here was not the best environment. So, we placed our sons into the private school here. Again, sons were all elected to be on student council, active in their sports, they escort girls for home coming, they do talent shows, one son was elected VP of his school, and another son was elected to be Chaplin.

My point is, yes, home school kids can be socially awkward and some may not receive the best education. But, I can show you just as many public school and private school kids that are also socially awkward and are not receiving the best education.

Your mom needs to do what she feels is best for your sister. It may be to home school for a few years and then back into the school system. Or she could home school her for her whole school career. Have your sister get involved with other groups. Find activities that will get your sister around other girls with the same interests.

I do not like it when people make a blanket statement about home school. public schools, or private schools. Each child is different and each family is different. Parents need to do what is best for each individual child.

godblessourhome

3. Is the parent willing to sit by their child, invest the time, and hold their children accountable for their school work? Many parents nowadays have to work, and trusting their young child to stay home and do their school work all on line is a recipe for disaster. My daughter's friend is now being homeschooled (due to bullying) and guess what? This girl only gets 5 hours of weekly school work, which is less than one full day's worth of schooling. In a WEEK.

as a former public school teacher and homeschooling mom, i just have to comment on this. there is a lot, a LOT, of time spent transitioning and dealing with behaviors in a school setting that are not the same in homeschooling. something that takes 20 minutes to teach in public school can take as little as 5 at home. homeschooling my kids during the early elementary years took 2 1/2 hours a day max (not 8 - and that was a 'heavy' day) and my kids went into public school in third grade 1-3 grades ahead in reading, writing, science and math. in fact, i still supplement the public school curriculum with family read-a-louds and science experiments. socially, one is a little bit ahead of his peers and the other one is a little bit behind. that is more about their personalities than a product of their schooling.

homeschooling can leave a child with a lot of 'extra' time on their hands. we spent a lot of time at the library and swimming pool where there were other kids in small doses. they also took tae kwondo, which i highly recommend for a socially awkward person, and art. be sure that your sister has some hobbies or interests that will occupy her time when she is not being homeschooled

k8blujay2

Oh and as far as how socially awkward homeschooled kids are.... well, let me just say this. No one knows I was taught at home until I offer that information up and then they question it like "Seriously? You don't "act" like a homeschooled kid!" To which I look at them quizzically...

WelcomeToWonderland

I was home schooled because i was traveling the world and was never in one place long enough to go to a school. I was able to go at my speed and learn year round. I got my GED at 13, at 15 i was accepted into an numerous international universities with a full scholarship to medical school (of course my parents didn't want me attending university so young so they let me relax for a few years). Unfortunately, i had to stop university due to illness. But I am also the type of person who can never learn enough and my suitcases contained my books instead of toys and clothes. I also had the advantage of my mother being a doctor and my father a retired university professor. My experience was a bit different than most home schooled kids but i loved it and it was the best thing for me.

The only thing is it's very hard to make friends unless you are with a home schooling group but enrolling her into activities and different sports will help with that. If her anxiety is that severe she needs to be working through it with a psychologist instead of pulling her out of school, in a lot of cases taking her out of school can worsen the symptoms.

LJGmom

I have sent my kids to private, then HOMESCHOOL then public. We have a top ranked public school. I think if you do it right there is NO DOUBT. Educationally, home hook is the best. That is if you really work hard. A child can move on when they are ready, and take extra time when they need it, not just move along at schools pace. Socially. Private school was best, they had small class sizes, and the teachers really did care. Public school has been okay. It is definitely my last choice. I know they could be learning so much more, and some kids are really mean, but theybare learning, and staying at the top of their class, but they could be even farther ahead at private or HOMESCHOOL. I just didn't have the time to teach my kids as much as they needed, bc I have pk kids too, and our private school was too expensive for us.

Our HOMESCHOOL co-ops are awesome. Definitely look into that. Ours met 1x a week, and gave the kids their assignments, then you went over the previous weeks lessons. So you had a class room experience and it helps accountability. If the tutor for the subject didn't think you were getting it they worked with you and your parent to help catch up.

annam25

I was home schooled my whole life and I loved it! There is a lot of home school groups that you can be involved in for activities and also be involved in sports and such. I would also recommend online school, I finished high school through www.Pennfoster.com, i'm currently taking a course for nutrition. I am used to doing online since I have been home schooled and we did our studies mostly on computers.

k8blujay2

3. Is the parent willing to sit by their child, invest the time, and hold their children accountable for their school work? Many parents nowadays have to work, and trusting their young child to stay home and do their school work all on line is a recipe for disaster. My daughter's friend is now being homeschooled (due to bullying) and guess what? This girl only gets 5 hours of weekly school work, which is less than one full day's worth of schooling. In a WEEK.

as a former public school teacher and homeschooling mom, i just have to comment on this. there is a lot, a LOT, of time spent transitioning and dealing with behaviors in a school setting that are not the same in homeschooling. something that takes 20 minutes to teach in public school can take as little as 5 at home. homeschooling my kids during the early elementary years took 2 1/2 hours a day max (not 8 - and that was a 'heavy' day) and my kids went into public school in third grade 1-3 grades ahead in reading, writing, science and math. in fact, i still supplement the public school curriculum with family read-a-louds and science experiments. socially, one is a little bit ahead of his peers and the other one is a little bit behind. that is more about their personalities than a product of their schooling.

homeschooling can leave a child with a lot of 'extra' time on their hands. we spent a lot of time at the library and swimming pool where there were other kids in small doses. they also took tae kwondo, which i highly recommend for a socially awkward person, and art be sure that your sister has some hobbies or interests that will occupy her time when she is not being homeschooled

It was that way for us as well... I was done with every single subject before lunch... same with all my other homeschooled friends.

kaetmarie

Unless they never learned. You wouldn't expect an adult to be able to read unless they were taught how. In my opinion, social and emotional regulation skills are the same. You don't just wake up when you're 18 and know how to deal with stress, manage your emotions, and interact well with others. You learn these things.

True. But people rarely learn well when under duress. Social anxiety is duress.

Look, you and I can argue about this all day. Clearly you haven't dealt with social anxiety. I have. Sure, homeschooled kids can grow up with no social skills. So can public school kids. I'm one of those public school kids who grew up with zero social skills, because I had extreme social anxiety. I've had to learn not to hate myself just because I'm different. Had I been homeschooled, maybe I wouldn't have learned from the age of 5 that I'm weird, and maybe I'd have an easier time of it now. Maybe not. Who knows? The fact of the matter is that MANY children are more successful and better adjusted thanks to homeschooling. Public school is great for a lot of kids, but not all.

I'm sorry you had a negative experience at school, but I do not think that means that homeschooling would have been the answer. Obviously I'm not going to change your mind, just like nothing you say is going to change mine.

**Also, I was an extremely anxious child and young adult. In fact, until I started graduate school 5 years ago, I was on medication for panic attacks. Do I think homeschooling would have helped that? Absolutely not ... I had to learn to cope on my own and navigate my own way through relationships. It's the best thing I've ever done and I try daily to help my students overcome their own issues, be it anxiety, autism, conduct disorder ... whatever it is. Because I know that it can be done and that even though it's hard, it's worth it.

LBash03

In my opinion, home schooling can't teach kids the other important things in life. I went to a private Catholic school from k - 8 and decided to go to a public school for high school. When I started there, I was shocked. I was so sheltered at the private school. Unfortunately in life, you have to have "street smarts", just as much, if not more than book smarts. That is life. You have to understand relationships with other people, how to handle yourself with peer pressure, and peer relationships is the biggest thing you learn in school. Just my opinion

PeaceCorpsKat

My roommate was home schooled and I hate to be a jerk or make generalizations but he is completely crazy. He has serious mental health issues that have never been addressed. He recently got fired from a job for threathening his boss. I live in fear of the man.

He is insanely smart, but I wonder if he wouldnt' have been better going to a regular school where they could have forced him into some sort of counceling to deal with his anger, temper and aggression. He doesn't deal well with feedback - which is something you need to learn to do when you are socialized. And I think that is one of his major problems.

I know a few kids who were home schooled who turned out fine - but they were normal to begin with. If she has a disorder she should go to regular school or end up like the physcopath I live with.

budhandy

I know a few kids who were home schooled who turned out fine - but they were normal to begin with. If she has a disorder she should go to regular school or end up like the physcopath I live with.

:huh: