Home school vs public school?

penrbrown

My point is that we need to focus on all children in our community, not just on our own. Especially those children who are economically disadvantaged, from broken homes, whose parents are uninvolved, who are "outside the norm" in some way. By making our public schools better (because not every child can go to private school or be homeschooled), our country as a whole will benefit.

I just don't want to see some children left behind because their parents do not care enough about their education, while the other parents are focused solely on their own children's education.

But, at the same time, I respect everyone's opinions on this issue. This type of dialogue, when it is civil and respectful, is what we need to have if we are to make American education the best in the world (do we really want the Finns to be #1?)

While I agree with you, I think that UNTIL the public system improves parents are within their rights to pull their kids out and teach them privately.

Subjecting your child to an education that doesn't suit their needs just to prove a point is hardly worthwhile.

So, my question to you is, how do we improve things? How do we provide for children who are neglected? How do we ensure classrooms aren't overcrowded? How do we help children who have difficulty learning in the typical classroom setting? How do we take care of children who are bullied beyond reason? How do we tackle these issues and make real change happen?

penrbrown

I think it really depends.... I made it through public school and turned out pretty well... but my parents supplemented my education at home... plus they are both teachers.. so that helped... I look around at the people I graduated with and a lot of them haven't turned out the way I would have thought they would.. some better... some worse.. I've been with two people that were home schooled... both of them were as intelligent as more... if not more so... but both of them are a lot more socially awkward than me. If I home school... I'm going to make sure my children are involved in plenty of activities outside of the home... this is looking more and more likely unless public schools can get their act together

Homeschooled children being socially awkward is a stereotype and untrue at that.

I could say to you that I was homeschooled and I am a social butterfly but this is the internet and quite frankly there's no way to prove this.

Instead I challenge you to take a good hard look at kids who go to school. I think you'll start to notice that many of them ARE socially awkward. You just don't blame it on their schooling, instead you blame it on them. That's just how they are. That's just their personality...

but when a homeschooled child is socially awkward it is immediately blamed on the type of education they received. And yet there are many, many homeschooled children who are NOT socially awkward.

Funny how that works.

k8blujay2

I think it really depends.... I made it through public school and turned out pretty well... but my parents supplemented my education at home... plus they are both teachers.. so that helped... I look around at the people I graduated with and a lot of them haven't turned out the way I would have thought they would.. some better... some worse.. I've been with two people that were home schooled... both of them were as intelligent as more... if not more so... but both of them are a lot more socially awkward than me. If I home school... I'm going to make sure my children are involved in plenty of activities outside of the home... this is looking more and more likely unless public schools can get their act together

This reminded me of a friend of mine from college... she is an introvert by nature and she was taught at home as well... we were talking once about people assuming that we are all socially awkward (not saying that this OP was saying that at all, it's just a common stereotype as we can see here) and that we get no social interaction with our peers... well she was telling me that her mom made them (her sisters were taught at home as well.. and one of her sisters was extroverted and they are as different as night and day) go on field trips, join activities, do all the things (and then some) that kids in traditional schools would do... they all were so tired of going out they would beg to stay home for a while... So honestly, if someone is socially awkward, who's to say they wouldn't have been anyway regardless of where they went to school? (<- rhetorical question not posted towards anyone in particular)

editing for spelling/grammar mistakes I find that I made... because while I may excel in math and science, grammar is the bane of my existance.

vim_n_vigor

My point is that we need to focus on all children in our community, not just on our own. Especially those children who are economically disadvantaged, from broken homes, whose parents are uninvolved, who are "outside the norm" in some way. By making our public schools better (because not every child can go to private school or be homeschooled), our country as a whole will benefit.

I just don't want to see some children left behind because their parents do not care enough about their education, while the other parents are focused solely on their own children's education.

But, at the same time, I respect everyone's opinions on this issue. This type of dialogue, when it is civil and respectful, is what we need to have if we are to make American education the best in the world (do we really want the Finns to be #1?)

When there are federal mandates in place on how the schools must teach and what they must teach and how they must teach, there isn't a whole lot I can do to make the school better. My son was advanced in all topics leaving preschool. They said at that time that academically, he was meeting the criteria for completion of first grade. He should have had no problem adjusting to Kindergarten.
What I can say about what I saw already in Kindergarten was disturbing. My normally happy child was in a rage and in tears when he came home from school. He normally had to spend an hour in his room after school to even be able to function enough to interact without completely losing his composure. This was with only a half day of school. I went to the school. I volunteered in the classroom. Now, he goes to private school, all day long. Logically, the longer hours would seem to be more of a stressor. He is now completely happy. He is working at a higher level than the other kids his age. He is encouraged to work with the other kids to resolve issues, to collaboratively pick what they are going to do during their down time, and to navigate recess. He has recess 2 times a day with grades K-8. He has a teacher that is able to make sure the kids are well-rounded. She doesn't have to teach to a federal mandate that limits what she is allowed to do in the classroom.
I was a huge supporter of public schools in the past. NCLB is not doing any favors to any children but the ones that were already behind. The kids at level and above are not encouraged to get any better. It is sad.

_VoV

I think it really depends.... I made it through public school and turned out pretty well... but my parents supplemented my education at home... plus they are both teachers.. so that helped... I look around at the people I graduated with and a lot of them haven't turned out the way I would have thought they would.. some better... some worse.. I've been with two people that were home schooled... both of them were as intelligent as more... if not more so... but both of them are a lot more socially awkward than me. If I home school... I'm going to make sure my children are involved in plenty of activities outside of the home... this is looking more and more likely unless public schools can get their act together

Homeschooled children being socially awkward is a stereotype and untrue at that.

I could say to you that I was homeschooled and I am a social butterfly but this is the internet and quite frankly there's no way to prove this.

Instead I challenge you to take a good hard look at kids who go to school. I think you'll start to notice that many of them ARE socially awkward. You just don't blame it on their schooling, instead you blame it on them. That's just how they are. That's just their personality...

but when a homeschooled child is socially awkward it is immediately blamed on the type of education they received. And yet there are many, many homeschooled children who are NOT socially awkward.

Funny how that works.

Excellent point.

cannonsky

I think it really depends.... I made it through public school and turned out pretty well... but my parents supplemented my education at home... plus they are both teachers.. so that helped... I look around at the people I graduated with and a lot of them haven't turned out the way I would have thought they would.. some better... some worse.. I've been with two people that were home schooled... both of them were as intelligent as more... if not more so... but both of them are a lot more socially awkward than me. If I home school... I'm going to make sure my children are involved in plenty of activities outside of the home... this is looking more and more likely unless public schools can get their act together

Homeschooled children being socially awkward is a stereotype and untrue at that.

I could say to you that I was homeschooled and I am a social butterfly but this is the internet and quite frankly there's no way to prove this.

Instead I challenge you to take a good hard look at kids who go to school. I think you'll start to notice that many of them ARE socially awkward. You just don't blame it on their schooling, instead you blame it on them. That's just how they are. That's just their personality...

but when a homeschooled child is socially awkward it is immediately blamed on the type of education they received. And yet there are many, many homeschooled children who are NOT socially awkward.

Funny how that works.

I was just making an observation based on my experience... not a false generalization about the whole populous

angryguy77

My mom is thinking about homeschooling my eight year old sister. My sister is smart and nice, but she is socially awkward and has really bad anxiety (has meds for it) and this causes her to not want to go to school. My parents are considering homeschool, but I am unsure that it is a good idea. Does anybody have any opinions or experience with this? Thank you!

I was taught at home from the 4th grade on up through graduation. There are MANY resources out there that help parents keep their children on track, from curriculum through the school to places that will keep records for you. And the teachers editions for homeschooling are very detailed. I liked it cause I could go at my own pace, as I always got bored in a regular classroom (they always went too slow for me). And as for social aspects, there are always co-ops and associations that a family can join to get the experiences of field trips, prom and graduation (among other things). I personally (nor my brothers) are socially awkward or stunted nor are we ignorant or behind. I hold my bachelor's in science and my youngest brother striving for medical school (he is transferring to a 4 year university this fall).

Edit: gee I wonder how I graduated high school or college at all... My mom isn't a certified teacher and only had her high school diploma, yet I still did well. By the way, the textbooks are very detailed as well... More so than in traditional schools, because they assume the student is working on their own at some degree, in addition to the very detailed teachers additions, instead of having a teacher fill in the blanks.

You are fortunate you had a mother who put in her time and effort to ensure you had a balanced education. But there are parents out there who can't answer or assist their children in upper grade math concepts, grammar rules, etc, I have had many parents contact me and say "I can't help junior with his grammar, because I haven't had to study this since I was 12 and I don't remember it". If a parent does not understand the content, they are doing a disservice to their child, period. They don't have to be certified teachers, but they do have to be informed enough to help their child.

This is my biggest concern with home schooling. I would be very leery of any child who is "homeschooled" by what I consider to be unqualified adults.. Giving birth to a child does not make you automatically qualified to teach. Being educated does.

Being a parent may not automatically qualify one to teach their kid, but neither does a college education.

The parents did the right thing by asking someone to help. Many curricula have handbooks for parents to help them teach their child.

Of course there are always going to be some bad apples in the bunch, but if a parent is active in the child's education, then the odds are good that the child will benefit.

dmpizza

It sounds like she is in the autistic spectrum. What services is the school offering? By law they have to help.

My son has had many many emotional problems much like this girl, and at that age it was especially tough.
If she is like, him, that phase will end soon. My son has many other issues, but that did end.

_VoV

I think it really depends.... I made it through public school and turned out pretty well... but my parents supplemented my education at home... plus they are both teachers.. so that helped... I look around at the people I graduated with and a lot of them haven't turned out the way I would have thought they would.. some better... some worse.. I've been with two people that were home schooled... both of them were as intelligent as more... if not more so... but both of them are a lot more socially awkward than me. If I home school... I'm going to make sure my children are involved in plenty of activities outside of the home... this is looking more and more likely unless public schools can get their act together

This reminded me of a friend of mine from college... she is an introvert by nature and she was taught at home as well... we were talking once about people assuming that we are all socially awkward (not saying that this OP was saying that at all, it's just a common stereotype as we can see here) and that we get no social interaction with our peers... well she was telling me that her mom made them (her sisters were taught at home as well.. and one of her sisters was extroverted and they are as different as night and day) go on field trips, join activities, do all the things (and then some) that kids in traditional schools would do... they all were so tired of going out they would beg to stay home for a while... So honestly, if someone is socially awkward, whose to say they wouldn't have been anyway regardless of where they went to school? (<- rhetorical question not posted towards anyone in particular)

Haha! There were times of the year, I would over-enroll my home-schooled kids in activities too. They were often so good, they were hard to turn down. But, sometimes we would get so exhausted from 'car school', that we would need to pare back to regain our balance of home-school to outside activities. I can relate.

LillysGranny

I think your parents should consider putting your sister in a confidence building activity like martial arts. I've seen kids go from scared to say hello to strong leaders in just a few months! With summer break coming, there might be just enough time for her to feel better about school by the fall. I know children who are receiving excellent educations at home, but I just don't think running away from the world is the best way to learn how to deal with it--which we all must do sooner or later.

kaetmarie

Btw, before I leave due to all these posts quite frankly pissing me off... Let me say this to all of the "professionals, psychiatrists, and teachers" who seem to be in absolute disagreement with home school in terms of social awkwardness, mental issues as I believe one person put it, and the ability to handle depression/anxiety. I'm really sorry to say this is such a harsh way and you can flame me all you want, but your degrees mean nothing unless you've experienced it yourself. You can sit there all day and argue psych 101 and the effects on children all you want, but unless you've actually been tormented day by day, experienced anxiety, depression, and tried home school for yourself as a alternative, you have no clue to the ACTUAL effects these things do to you. You're education tells you the most popular theories, methods and reasoning in order to gain a better understanding on human mentality, but the fact stands is that all of that knowledge exists without compassion and true understanding of what the individual experiences. Likewise most of those popular theories stem from small/large group studies done on a certain number of children in each given situation ,so to say that it stands for the majority is most of the time false. Like I said, you wouldn't understand unless you've been there yourself. While I agree the parents will must be strong and they must be prepared at the fullest in order for home school to work as it should with the child, how can you say that statistically the teachers in the US public schools are doing that? From personal experience, 90% of them don't give a rats *kitten* and hardly ever step in to prevent bullying or fooling around etc. Same goes with what some said about mental illness and shi* seriously wtf? I'd like to see some actual statistics that PROVE that home schooled children are more likely to become mentally unstable, and socially awkward than those in public school. And if you want to shoot me these statistics, don't forget to to include the fact that home schooled children make up a much smaller portion of children in the US okay? lol, I'm done, let the flaming begin.

I am said professional you're mad at. I also had serious anxiety issues when I was a kid/teenager/young adult. In my opinion, your logic can be used against your argument ... because unless you sat in one of my classes or conducted one of my studies, you are unable to say that I don't understand. Furthermore, I know very few people in my field who did not have some kind of negative experience fueling their desire to enter the field ... because truthfully, most people hate us and just based on your reaction and others on here, it's not a field that is FUN to be in a lot of the time.

I'm not going to speak for teachers, even though I was one briefly, but many parents came to me and yelled about how I didn't know what I was doing becaue I never had a learning disability. Now people get mad when I work with their [autistic, adhd, conduct disorder, bipolar, whatever] child because I never had those disorders. However, would anyone think twice about going to an oncologist who never actually had cancer? There's a reason that college and graduate school exist, because things have been learned and have been SUCCESSFULLY used with kids.

A personal experience is n=1. That's absolutely useful! I do case studies all the time, but I also do small and larger research studies. While there are a lot of interpersonal differences between children, the truth of the matter is that there are also a lot of similarities. Not every single thing is going to work with every single child, but that's to be expected.

By the same token, homeschooling is not a one-size-fits-all-save-the-day solution for kids either. Do some kids benefit, absolutely! There are lots of great success stories with homeschooling, but there are also lots of success stories with public education.

honeysprinkles

I have mixed feelings when it comes to home schooling, especially if it's only done for religious reasons (which is often the case). However, when it might actually truly be the better option for the child and the parents are able to provide an equal or better education than would be received at school, I'm for it. I would just worry about social development and learning how to interact with peers and make friends, so I'd be sure to make an effort to have her around other kids at least occasionally.

delilah47

My main concern about home schooling is the development of social skills. Not that the social skills kids are learning these days are anything to be proud of. Selfishness seems to be the message of the day. JMO

DeckerDoll

Well, I was home schooled my entire life although I went into dual credit college courses at 16 and phased right into college from there. My brother went to public high school and college from there.

We're both pretty awesome in my humble opinion =P

saffronblue

To the original post...did you think you were going to open up such a heated discussion??? I hope your family finds the best path for your sister! I say go for it! Get support, find groups and keep on doing what is right for her!

cannonsky

Btw, before I leave due to all these posts quite frankly pissing me off... Let me say this to all of the "professionals, psychiatrists, and teachers" who seem to be in absolute disagreement with home school in terms of social awkwardness, mental issues as I believe one person put it, and the ability to handle depression/anxiety. I'm really sorry to say this is such a harsh way and you can flame me all you want, but your degrees mean nothing unless you've experienced it yourself. You can sit there all day and argue psych 101 and the effects on children all you want, but unless you've actually been tormented day by day, experienced anxiety, depression, and tried home school for yourself as a alternative, you have no clue to the ACTUAL effects these things do to you. You're education tells you the most popular theories, methods and reasoning in order to gain a better understanding on human mentality, but the fact stands is that all of that knowledge exists without compassion and true understanding of what the individual experiences. Likewise most of those popular theories stem from small/large group studies done on a certain number of children in each given situation ,so to say that it stands for the majority is most of the time false. Like I said, you wouldn't understand unless you've been there yourself. While I agree the parents will must be strong and they must be prepared at the fullest in order for home school to work as it should with the child, how can you say that statistically the teachers in the US public schools are doing that? From personal experience, 90% of them don't give a rats *kitten* and hardly ever step in to prevent bullying or fooling around etc. Same goes with what some said about mental illness and shi* seriously wtf? I'd like to see some actual statistics that PROVE that home schooled children are more likely to become mentally unstable, and socially awkward than those in public school. And if you want to shoot me these statistics, don't forget to to include the fact that home schooled children make up a much smaller portion of children in the US okay? lol, I'm done, let the flaming begin.

I am said professional you're mad at. I also had serious anxiety issues when I was a kid/teenager/young adult. In my opinion, your logic can be used against your argument ... because unless you sat in one of my classes or conducted one of my studies, you are unable to say that I don't understand. Furthermore, I know very few people in my field who did not have some kind of negative experience fueling their desire to enter the field ... because truthfully, most people hate us and just based on your reaction and others on here, it's not a field that is FUN to be in a lot of the time.

I'm not going to speak for teachers, even though I was one briefly, but many parents came to me and yelled about how I didn't know what I was doing becaue I never had a learning disability. Now people get mad when I work with their [autistic, adhd, conduct disorder, bipolar, whatever] child because I never had those disorders. However, would anyone think twice about going to an oncologist who never actually had cancer? There's a reason that college and graduate school exist, because things have been learned and have been SUCCESSFULLY used with kids.

A personal experience is n=1. That's absolutely useful! I do case studies all the time, but I also do small and larger research studies. While there are a lot of intrapersonal differences between children, the truth of the matter is that there are also a lot of similarities. Not every single thing is going to work with every single child, but that's to be expected.

By the same token, homeschooling is not a one-size-fits-all-save-the-day solution for kids either. Do some kids benefit, absolutely! There are lots of great success stories with homeschooling, but there are also lots of success stories with public education.

all of that. minus the "I am a professional that you are mad at" part. I am far from professional

kaetmarie

Well, I was home schooled my entire life although I went into dual credit college courses at 16 and phased right into college from there. My brother went to public high school and college from there.

We're both pretty awesome in my humble opinion =P

This has been my point all along! It can work well both ways!

rjsnau

To add my $.02, you really need to be sure you are ready for the commitment and more importantly, that you have the education and skills to be a teacher. My wife is a teacher and let me tell you that there is a lot that they know about child development, how to deal with specific behavior problems, how to relate the material to the kids and many other things that the average person doesn't know. Just being a parent doesn't make you a teacher any more than me having a sink makes me a plumber or owning a car makes me a mechanic. I may be able to fix a sink or a car but the professionals are going to do a better job quicker and more efficiently. If you are going to home school I would highly suggest taking teaching classes and reading books on teaching to educate yourself. This is on top of having a good understanding of all the subjects you are going to be homeschooling.

So if you are going to do it, do it right.

MrsRipdizzle

I haven't read all the responses here but I have seen enough debated in public settings to know that there is a LOT of ignorance on this subject. Due to this ignorance there are many myths that continue to be perpetuated.
I am a college educated woman (graduated with honors from the University of Michigan - psychology) and I am homeschooling my children (13 and 9 yo). There were several reasons my family chose this route and it works for us. We will continue to do what works for us and when it stops working, we'll reevaluate. My children are far from socially awkward. That is the lamest thing I've heard from people when they talk about homeschooling. "What about socialization?" This shows the ignorance in our society. There is a HUGE homeschooling movement sweeping the nation and every year thousands of families join this often misunderstood way of life.

Both of my children love homeschooling, probably because they have a kick *kitten* mom who does fun things and talks about everything with them. We use various curricula to learn the material (because both of my children have different learning styles) and a LOT of hands-on work. When out in public, I am always being told how well-behaved, respectful, and friendly they are. Both of my children are starting their own businesses right now - my daughter has her own babysitting services and my son is currently starting up (yes, you may laugh) a poop-scooping business. Again, he's NINE years old. They are driven, learning the value of a dollar, and willing to work....unlike MANY children of this generation who wanted everything handed to them. In order to operate a business - they have to be relational. Socially awkward? Nope.

My third-grader is learning the same history as my 7th grader (albeit not always as "deep") and knows far more in his subjects than other children of his age in the neighborhood. I'm not comparing him to say he is smarter - just that a lot of times people underestimate what children are capable of understanding and applying. You must think back to the early pioneers and at what age "kids" were handling themselves as adults (remember when 14 year olds were adults?).

Homeschooling truly isn't all about academics. It's about relationship. Kids are constantly learning...and by spending a fair amount of time with an adult who cares for them deeply and is interested in them personally...they are learning even more than sitting in a public school classroom waiting for all the disturbances to settle before the teacher can proceed. School can be done in three to four hours...versus seven to eight hours in public school.

I could go on and on about the benefits of homeschooling but that information has probably already been discussed or is easily found by a google search. It's hard for me to think of disadvantages, to be honest, and I've been doing this for a few years. I love having my kids home and every so often I look longingly on that big, yellow bus and when that happens - I declare it a mental health day and we take the day off. Because we CAN. I love the flexibility homeschool offers. We are pretty much done with school here in my home for the year...but school never really "ends" because we find things to do daily to enrich our lives (and I have them do language arts and math a little bit each day to make sure they don't go through summer and forget fundamentals of the previous year's teachings).

I will say that if you decide to homeschool you really need to get hooked up with a good support system in your area. There will be days in the beginning where you doubt yourself and your abilities and that support system is greatly encouraging and helpful. Also, there are TONS of homeschool groups that meet during the day/week from academic style groups to sports leagues. There are plenty of ways to keep the kids "socializing" with other children their age if this is a concern. I've not had any problems yet.

There are also plenty of books available at the library to check out that give lots of ideas and things to think about before taking the plunge. From curricula to learning styles to schedules to teaching methods to socialization....homeschooling is more common than many think.

VegesaurusRex

I think your parents should consider putting your sister in a confidence building activity like martial arts. I've seen kids go from scared to say hello to strong leaders in just a few months! With summer break coming, there might be just enough time for her to feel better about school by the fall. I know children who are receiving excellent educations at home, but I just don't think running away from the world is the best way to learn how to deal with it--which we all must do sooner or later.

Agree and disagree.

My kids and I all have black belts in Shaolin Kempo Karate. I have no doubt it helped their confidence, and the fact that we did this as a family was also important. However, I disagree that homeschooling is "running away from the world." The Karate class is itself an excellent example of how our kids learned about facing the world. Their group classes, by the way, were all homeschoolers and scheduled at a convenient time when public school was in session and there weren't so many students that they couldn't get private attention. Homeschooling also has advantages for taking trips to the seashore after school has started in September, but I digress.