Home school vs public school?

serena569

I'm not reading all the responses. I'm just telling my side.

When I was in public school, my teachers designed an academic plan for me. I was put ahead 1-2 grades for the courses like math and reading where I excelled. I usually ended up in class with older brother and sister but one year I was put ahead of them for math.

My daughter showed the same academic talent but I found the schools afound here are no longer willing to adjust to the promising students and would rather slow down everyone to mainstream the less promising students. For this reason alone, I taught my daughter at home until I found a private school that was willing to accomodate the specific needs of gifted students. They designed a program for her and taught her how to create challenges for herself. By high school, I felt confident enough in her ability to challenge herself enough to prevent boredom so I transferred her to public school.

She is now a college freshman carrying honors courses. She speaks five languages fluently and is learning her sixth. She has traveled extensively throughtout the US and a few European countries - mostly with peers. She's bright and confident and was given the tools to help her excel.

I also have several cousins who are home schooled. Two were for religious reasons. Both of those young women are college graduates. Three more are home schooled because their mother does not like the quality of education in their state. One will graduate this year and the other two are younger.

I should point outh that education is highly valued in my family. My grandparents were farmers with 12 children. Of those 12, there are four with bachelors degrees, six with masters degrees, one JD, and one PhD. Did you do the math? That's all 12 children with degrees. Six also served in the military.

The key is knowing your child and finding a school to work with their individual needs. Additionally, you have to be willing to invest the time needed with your children. Involved parents have the most successful students.

VegesaurusRex

My roommate was home schooled and I hate to be a jerk or make generalizations but he is completely crazy. He has serious mental health issues that have never been addressed. He recently got fired from a job for threathening his boss. I live in fear of the man.

He is insanely smart, but I wonder if he wouldnt' have been better going to a regular school where they could have forced him into some sort of counceling to deal with his anger, temper and aggression....

You mean like Columbine?

HopeFaithLove71

2. Is the curriculum relevant? Is the child learning what should be learned, versus what the parents want that child to learn? (some HS programs offer "revisionist" history, where important truths are conveniently left out - eg, slavery, holocaust, etc) There are certain skill sets/requirements all children MUST know in order to be well rounded adults. Slanted or inaccurate information can negatively affect a child's future.

BTW -The holocaust is not allowed to be taught here in the public school as well as other, IMO very important, events. Back when I lived in MD, there were also events they did not teach.

vim_n_vigor

My roommate was home schooled and I hate to be a jerk or make generalizations but he is completely crazy. He has serious mental health issues that have never been addressed. He recently got fired from a job for threathening his boss. I live in fear of the man.

He is insanely smart, but I wonder if he wouldnt' have been better going to a regular school where they could have forced him into some sort of counceling to deal with his anger, temper and aggression. He doesn't deal well with feedback - which is something you need to learn to do when you are socialized. And I think that is one of his major problems.

I know a few kids who were home schooled who turned out fine - but they were normal to begin with. If she has a disorder she should go to regular school or end up like the physcopath I live with.

Your roommate could have turned into a 'psycopath' just as easily in public schools. Not all schools are equipped anymore to deal with kids problems. Schools can't force kids into counseling or treatment. They can suggest, but that is it. A public school would not have guaranteed that he would have become more social, or able to handle feedback from others. Some people can't do it no matter where they go for school.

castadiva

And yes it IS that parent's decision what that curriculum needs to be. That parent will decide if the child needs to know organic chemistry or not. European history or not. It is important that the truth of each topic be taught-but the parent decides what that is. .

I don't disagree that the curriculum is inadequate, but I would have to say that this sort of attitude is one of the things that concerns me about homeschooling. Allowing parents to dictate what subjects are studied (and/or which version of them!) automatically limits a child's options in the future. If a parent dictates that their child never studies organic chemistry, how will that child know if they might turn out to be exceptionally good at it, opening future careers in science or medicine? If European History is never taught (though why on earth anyone would object to this is beyond me!), how can a child be expected to understand the context of the majority of the great literature of the Western world? Or hope to have a successful career in politics without the understanding of where the modern world has come from?

While the average school curriculum is indeed vastly inadequate, at least it usually ensures students are exposed to the whole range of available subjects, or at least the basics of them, enabling students to make informed and wide-ranging choices about their futures. I'm sure most home-schooling parents aim for this as well, but in the minority whose bias of one sort or another (or lack of specific education) precludes the study of a particular subject, I feel that is both deeply unfair and prejudicial to the homeschooled student's future.

_VoV

Unless they never learned. You wouldn't expect an adult to be able to read unless they were taught how. In my opinion, social and emotional regulation skills are the same. You don't just wake up when you're 18 and know how to deal with stress, manage your emotions, and interact well with others. You learn these things.

True. But people rarely learn well when under duress. Social anxiety is duress.

Look, you and I can argue about this all day. Clearly you haven't dealt with social anxiety. I have. Sure, homeschooled kids can grow up with no social skills. So can public school kids. I'm one of those public school kids who grew up with zero social skills, because I had extreme social anxiety. I've had to learn not to hate myself just because I'm different. Had I been homeschooled, maybe I wouldn't have learned from the age of 5 that I'm weird, and maybe I'd have an easier time of it now. Maybe not. Who knows? The fact of the matter is that MANY children are more successful and better adjusted thanks to homeschooling. Public school is great for a lot of kids, but not all.

I'm sorry you had a negative experience at school, but I do not think that means that homeschooling would have been the answer. Obviously I'm not going to change your mind, just like nothing you say is going to change mine.

**Also, I was an extremely anxious child and young adult. In fact, until I started graduate school 5 years ago, I was on medication for panic attacks. Do I think homeschooling would have helped that? Absolutely not ... I had to learn to cope on my own and navigate my own way through relationships. It's the best thing I've ever done and I try daily to help my students overcome their own issues, be it anxiety, autism, conduct disorder ... whatever it is. Because I know that it can be done and that even though it's hard, it's worth it.

I had a horrible K-12 experience due to daily bullying, and later in high school, being socially ignored because I was fat. I truly think that years of that sort of social torment and ostracism destroyed my self-confidence. I didn't really gain it until I had more control over my day-to-day life in grad school and work. I had lovely teachers, but it didn't make up for the unkindness I suffered at the hands of some very mean classmates. And, I would add that some of the torment was under the radar of the adults, which the reading of 'Mean Girls' confirms is still alive and well.

impyimpyaj

Like, ZOMG, you guys are so right! Public school is the answer to all our social problems. Because crazy people NEVER come out of public school! And everybody who graduates high school is perfectly well-adjusted and never has any social problems. WOW! I see it now!

If public school were SO great at teaching social skills, it would work with every kid! But it doesn't. So clearly, it's not the right answer for EVERY kid. Lots of kids, sure! But not every kid.

Holy logic, Batman!

_Bob_

I'm not a fan of home school because of the lack of social interaction, and some kids fall to far behind to catch up. but with social anxiety I can understand the problem with public school. I would look into private schools or charter schools with smaller class sizes so she get the social interaction with out the overwhelming numbers. but I'm guessing this has already been said

_VoV

Like, ZOMG, you guys are so right! Public school is the answer to all our social problems. Because crazy people NEVER come out of public school! And everybody who graduates high school is perfectly well-adjusted and never has any social problems. WOW! I see it now!

If public school were SO great at teaching social skills, it would work with every kid! But it doesn't. So clearly, it's not the right answer for EVERY kid. Lots of kids, sure! But not every kid.

Holy logic, Batman!

LOL

k8blujay2

I would just like point people to an awesome Youtube video made a few years back...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQoSRfu5z_4


It will tell you the difference between the socially awkward ones and those of us that aren't. I know the homeschooled will get a laugh out of it, if they haven't seen yet... I still find it funny.

impyimpyaj

Public school turned me into the fabulously well-adjusted person I am today. I never get panic attacks when dealing with groups of more than 2 people, and I never get nervous when people come to my house. Never once! Because public school just beat all that social anxiety right out of me, by golly! I'm so glad I went to public school. I'd hate to think what a freak I'd be if I'd been homeschooled and allowed to feel SAFE for those 13 years!

prov31jd

My roommate was home schooled and I hate to be a jerk or make generalizations but he is completely crazy. He has serious mental health issues that have never been addressed. He recently got fired from a job for threathening his boss. I live in fear of the man.

He is insanely smart, but I wonder if he wouldnt' have been better going to a regular school where they could have forced him into some sort of counceling to deal with his anger, temper and aggression....

You mean like Columbine?

EXCELLENT point.

impyimpyaj

Yes, I'm getting pissy right now. Because I am so SICK of all these strong opinions that are based on NOTHING. Research. Learn. Open your mind. Public school is not evil, but neither is homeschooling. Every kid is different. Because OMG, we're not robots!

(OP, this is not directed at you. It's good to ask questions the way you did. )

I'm out.

Marla64

I homeschool my kids through eighth grade, and send them to public high school.

My "socially awkward" kids have graduated 12th, 7th, 17th in their class-- one is going on a music scholarship to college, one is the captain of his basketball/football teams....

I'm in constant contact with the school for curriculum-- it stinks.

I love the negative perceptions some people have for homeschooling....and the pompous nonsense they spew about public education being better, and "qualified" people checking them for school standards.

Please-- our high school is 4th out of 5 in the county, and near the bottom in the state. Our middle school has recently been placed on a list of focus schools by the state department of education for being below average in every category.

And THESE are the standards these educational egghead snobs think are better?

As if.

If your mother is dedicated to your sister, the homeschooling will be fine. My kids have participated in township sports, neighbor play groups, blah, blah, blah-- they're normal, happy, healthy, sociable, well adjusted kids.

jazziesaj11

I WAS HOMESCHOOLED! lol sorry just wanted to stand out a bit. I had the same issues. When I was in junior high I was teased about my weight so much in school that I would skip and pretend I was sick just to get out of going there every day. I became depressed and was diagnosed with SAD (social anxiety disorder) It's something that I still deal with today and am always self conscious about my body even though I've lost as much weight as I have. My mom decided to take me out of public school and put me into home school because the teachers and dean were doing nothing to stop the kids from bullying me. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. =D That's the God's honest truth. Many people were against it in my family, even random strangers as well. Saying that it's bad parenting, the kids don't study and just watch TV all day and a whole bunch of other crap to which they have no friggin clue. I love my mom so much because she did that for me. If the parents set a strict schedule, just like a teacher would, then the actual studying is NOT an issue. As to social awkwardness when do to "lack of social skills" home schooled children suffer in adult life. That's bull. I was always shy anyway, so public school was torture. But even for those children that are social butterflies, there are so many outside programs for homeschoolers nowadays that it makes that previous statement completely inaccurate. I think I've actually become more socially aware that most children in public school because I was able to step back and look at things from an outside perspective rather than being influenced by my "friends". While I still struggle with SAD I'm MUCH more out going now than I ever was in public school because I feel confident in my abilities, it just took me time to realize what I'm capable of. Does homeschooling work? YES! Proof is in the pudding. I went straight from being home schooled since the 7th grade into college, no public high school in between. I have been a straight A student since the start which was a year ago, my GPA is 4.0 and I'm studying Linguistics, International Relations, Anthropology as well as 5 languages. I hope to utilize these skills for a job in translating/interpreting, hopefully with a large corporation or even the government. I don't think there is a more socially involved job than interpreting languages. I'm also preparing for a student exchange program next fall semester where I'll be studying languages and international relations at Korea University in Seoul. I've never been influenced by drugs, alcohol, sex or anything else because of home school. For all I know I would've wound up pregnant at 15 if I'd stayed in public school. Anyway I hope this helped somewhat, if you're parents were to ask me if they think they should put your sister in home school, I'd say without a doubt in my mind. I KNOW I wouldn't be where I am today without that huge shift in my life.

My mom is thinking about homeschooling my eight year old sister. My sister is smart and nice, but she is socially awkward and has really bad anxiety (has meds for it) and this causes her to not want to go to school. My parents are considering home school, but I am unsure that it is a good idea. Does anybody have any opinions or experience with this? Thank you!

MMarvelous

It really depends on the child and school. Parent involvement is imperative no matter which is selected. Success of children is school improves with involved parents. My mom is an educator so I attended public school and had Saturday morning classes growing up.

I agree that your parents should definitely consider home schooling or a smaller school/class room setting for your sister. I have had anxiety at school too. Luckily it was only during 2nd grade. You have some great parents!

k8blujay2

My thing is is if our schools are so great and our teachers are so great (and I'm speaking generally here, because I do know there are great public schools and teachers) then why are we always pretty close to last (if not last) in educational rankings across industrialized nations.

Yes, there are going to be students behind, whether taught at home or taught in a classroom.. It's not just the homeschooled kids that have the propensity to be behind... bottom line, education can only be valued if the parents and the children value it, regardless of their classroom... and after them (in a three way tie for first) the teachers... and personally, if I have teachers that aren't willing to work with me (which happens too) and make my life and my child's life miserable and aren't educating my child even when we are doing our part to the fullest, then heck yeah I'm going to homeschool my child...

My14 month old is showing a lot of my personality.... extroverted and very eager to learn... so what then should I do when my child gets bored in the classrooms and tries to "help" classmates do their work because they are bored out of their ever loving mind... because a previous poster was correct, schools don't help the more advanced students... they haven't in over 20 years... it's one of the main reasons my parents pulled me out of school in the 4th grade.... I was bored because I worked faster than everyone and I would get in trouble as a result.

travisseger

I think homeschooling can be good or bad, depending on the individual child and parent. I have several different friends who choose to home school their children. Some of them take their job very seriously and have children that are academically at or above their public-schooled peers. Some of them don't take it as serious, and you can tell that their children are academically behind other children their age.

It's already been said, but it is very important to expose home-schooled children to a variety of social situations. Though their parents would never admit it, I do know home-schooled kids who are not nearly as socially adept as other children because they are rarely placed in situations where they have to interact with other children their age.

I am fortunate enough to be able to send my kids to private school, but if I couldn't, homeschooling would definitely be an option I'd consider.

dhakiyya

If the child has severe enough anxiety at school to be on medication, there's obviously something wrong at school that's either causing it or making it worse. Homeschooling is a good alternative for children who are not coping or thriving in school for whatever reason. Schools (on the whole) are notoriously bad at providing for children with different needs to average. Some schools are very good at this, but others see kids with different needs as problems, rather than trying to find out what's going on and how to address their different needs. Teachers are frequently unaware of the long term psychological and educational impact this can have on a child, and I'm not saying that to slate teachers, I'm a qualified teacher who no longer teaches, so this is based on my experience. Some children will do so much better in an alternative educational environment such as homeschooling, others will do better in school.

For homeschooling to work, the parent needs to educate themselves about how to homeschool, and how to ensure their child's needs are met, including the need for socialising. (I use the term socialising, not socialisation, because it's about the child having friends and a social life - not about teaching your child how to socialise. Children know how to socialise, but they will become lonely and unhappy if isolated, just as anyone else would.)

This study done in the UK shows that even uneducated parents can do a good job homeschooling, if they have the will to find out for themselves how to do it, e.g. using resources online. In this study kids from poor families with uneducated parents did significantly better than school educated children of the same age, the researchers put it down to the parents in those families putting in a lot of extra effort to ensure they gave good quality education to their children. https://apps.facebook.com/theguardian/uk/2000/aug/13/education.educationnews1

I'm currently homeschooling my 5 (almost 6) yr old, due to a complete lack of anything closely resembling a decent school where I live (a small town in the Arabian desert) and she's doing very well, however we're planning to move in the near future and there's a strong likelihood of her going to school next year, if there's a good school for her to go to. Personally I'd rather she was homeschooled than in a bad school, or facing problems such as bullying (where the school's not dealing with it adequately), constantly doing work that's at the wrong level for her and so on. However if there's a good school and she wants to go to school then I'm happy with that. The important thing is that she's happy and thriving and her educational and social needs are being met.

_VoV

I WAS HOMESCHOOLED! lol sorry just wanted to stand out a bit. I had the same issues. When I was in junior high I was teased about my weight so much in school that I would skip and pretend I was sick just to get out of going there every day. I became depressed and was diagnosed with SAD (social anxiety disorder) It's something that I still deal with today and am always self conscious about my body even though I've lost as much weight as I have. My mom decided to take me out of public school and put me into home school because the teachers and dean were doing nothing to stop the kids from bullying me. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. =D That's the God's honest truth. Many people were against it in my family, even random strangers as well. Saying that it's bad parenting, the kids don't study and just watch TV all day and a whole bunch of other crap to which they have no friggin clue. I love my mom so much because she did that for me. If the parents set a strict schedule, just like a teacher would, then the actual studying is NOT an issue. As to social awkwardness when do to "lack of social skills" home schooled children suffer in adult life. That's bull. I was always shy anyway, so public school was torture. But even for those children that are social butterflies, there are so many outside programs for homeschoolers nowadays that it makes that previous statement completely inaccurate. I think I've actually become more socially aware that most children in public school because I was able to step back and look at things from an outside perspective rather than being influenced by my "friends". While I still struggle with SAD I'm MUCH more out going now than I ever was in public school because I feel confident in my abilities, it just took me time to realize what I'm capable of. Does homeschooling work? YES! Proof is in the pudding. I went straight from being home schooled since the 7th grade into college, no public high school in between. I have been a straight A student since the start which was a year ago, my GPA is 4.0 and I'm studying Linguistics, International Relations, Anthropology as well as 5 languages. I hope to utilize these skills for a job in translating/interpreting, hopefully with a large corporation or even the government. I don't think there is a more socially involved job than interpreting languages. I'm also preparing for a student exchange program next fall semester where I'll be studying languages and international relations at Korea University in Seoul. I've never been influenced by drugs, alcohol, sex or anything else because of home school. For all I know I would've wound up pregnant at 15 if I'd stayed in public school. Anyway I hope this helped somewhat, if you're parents were to ask me if they think they should put your sister in home school, I'd say without a doubt in my mind. I KNOW I wouldn't be where I am today without that huge shift in my life.

My mom is thinking about homeschooling my eight year old sister. My sister is smart and nice, but she is socially awkward and has really bad anxiety (has meds for it) and this causes her to not want to go to school. My parents are considering home school, but I am unsure that it is a good idea. Does anybody have any opinions or experience with this? Thank you!

Very nice to read! Congrats on your success in life--you earned it!