Home school vs public school?

gus0124

As I was reading these posts and reflecting on the entire home school vs. private school vs. public school debate, I was struck (not for the first time) by the emphasis on the individual, not on the entire community, in many of the posts. This emphasis is, of course, endemic to American culture. While my children go to a private church-affiliated preschool, they will be going to public school. Not because I went to public school or because both of my parents are public school teachers, but because I believe that, through my involvement in their education, I will, in my own small way, help the community and the country. Not all students have the opportunity to be homeschooled or sent to private school, but they should not be denied a quality education. We, as a country, have to work together if we want our education system to be the best that it can be. Decentralization makes it that much harder to work together. I clearly have a communitarian attitude towards education because I believe that that is the only way to achieve true equality of opportunity and social justice.

I know that our educational system (broadly defined) needs a lot of work. I see the product of it every day as an instructor at a large public university. I have some awesome students and others that make me wonder how they got into college. But, breaking off into little groups and focusing only on our individual children is not going to solve the problem. Working as a larger community will.

Now I await the onslaught of criticism regarding my post.....

kaetmarie

Yes, I'm getting pissy right now. Because I am so SICK of all these strong opinions that are based on NOTHING. Research. Learn. Open your mind. Public school is not evil, but neither is homeschooling. Every kid is different. Because OMG, we're not robots!

(OP, this is not directed at you. It's good to ask questions the way you did. )

I'm out.

If this is directed at the disagreement we were having, I apologize that you felt that way. I didn't think at any point it was personal or that my opinions were stronger than your own.

That being said, I studied education (teaching and school psychology) for eight years, so I've done plenty of research about learning and child development. I'm not claiming that public schools are the absolute way to go, but I feel like it's useful and beneficial in these situations to hear from both sides. You obviously disagree, which is fine and your right, as is it is my right to disagree with you.

What it boils down to is that homeschooling can be done well or it can be done very poorly. I've seen kids come into my school both ways. The same goes for public (and even private) schools. The difference, in my opinion, is parental involvement and dedication. If parents are devoted and seek out the best for their kids (homeschooled or not), it's going to be fine. Positive outcomes can and do come from both places.

niftyafterfifty

My homeschooled son graduated Summa Cum Laude; enough said.

penrbrown

My mom is thinking about homeschooling my eight year old sister. My sister is smart and nice, but she is socially awkward and has really bad anxiety (has meds for it) and this causes her to not want to go to school. My parents are considering homeschool, but I am unsure that it is a good idea. Does anybody have any opinions or experience with this? Thank you!

I WAS that 8-year-old. I had such bad anxiety issues that EVERY DAY I would hide from the school bus and my mom would have to drive me in, unless my siblings found me first and dragged me onto the bus. School was absolute HELL for me.

I attended from Grade 1-3. Sometime in Grade 2 I contemplated suicide (had a plan - a 8 year olds plan but a plan). Finally, in Grade 3 and in the grips of depression (because of how anxious and miserable school made me) I brought my parents a poem the school had given me.

Our assignment was to read the poem and then share how it made us feel.

The poem was about a useless girl who kills herself.

My parents read the poem, saw my reaction and pulled me out of school. I was homeschooled from Grade 4 until Grade 11 and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I was able to work through the anxiety issues, the depression, all of it... but only because I didn't have the added anxiety and torment of school to deal with. My grades, by the way, were excellent throughout (from Grade 1 - 11) but it was my personality that was allowed to flourish because of homeschooling.

Homeschooling ISN'T for everyone but neither is public schooling. I think parents need to be attentive to their children and instead of saying; she has to learn to deal with life BLAH BLAH BLAH, they should be saying; how do we help HER learn how to deal with life?

Public school is not reflective of real life at all. The abuses that go on in public schools would NEVER be allowed outside of school. If your coworker slams your head into a brick wall (happened to my brother), he won't be coming to work the next day... however, when it happened in public school the same boy who physically abused my brother was allowed to continue to come to school and my brother had to deal with being confronted with his abuser every single day. That doesn't happen in real life.

Public school is great for kids who fit in, but not every kid is going to fit in and being treated like an outcast and bullied will NOT make a child stronger.

Anyway. I'm a big advocate for homeschooling.

CrazyTrackLady

I homeschool my kids through eighth grade, and send them to public high school.

My "socially awkward" kids have graduated 12th, 7th, 17th in their class-- one is going on a music scholarship to college, one is the captain of his basketball/football teams....

I'm in constant contact with the school for curriculum-- it stinks.

I love the negative perceptions some people have for homeschooling....and the pompous nonsense they spew about public education being better, and "qualified" people checking them for school standards.

Please-- our high school is 4th out of 5 in the county, and near the bottom in the state. Our middle school has recently been placed on a list of focus schools by the state department of education for being below average in every category.

And THESE are the standards these educational egghead snobs think are better?

As if.

If your mother is dedicated to your sister, the homeschooling will be fine. My kids have participated in township sports, neighbor play groups, blah, blah, blah-- they're normal, happy, healthy, sociable, well adjusted kids.

This is why it is critical that we revamp the school systems that are failing by way of putting more governmental funding behind them. Standards have been lowered BECAUSE OF NCLB, which demands students pass stupid tests or the school district's funding is taken away. Don't blame the schools for this, blame the government. And other countries are kicking our collective butt because they have much more institutionalized education and parental involvement than we do in this country. THAT is the reality.

CrazyTrackLady

My mom is thinking about homeschooling my eight year old sister. My sister is smart and nice, but she is socially awkward and has really bad anxiety (has meds for it) and this causes her to not want to go to school. My parents are considering homeschool, but I am unsure that it is a good idea. Does anybody have any opinions or experience with this? Thank you!

I WAS that 8-year-old. I had such bad anxiety issues that EVERY DAY I would hide from the school bus and my mom would have to drive me in, unless my siblings found me first and dragged me onto the bus. School was absolute HELL for me.

I attended from Grade 1-3. Sometime in Grade 2 I contemplated suicide (had a plan - a 8 year olds plan but a plan). Finally, in Grade 3 and in the grips of depression (because of how anxious and miserable school made me) I brought my parents a poem the school had given me.

Our assignment was to read the poem and then share how it made us feel.

The poem was about a useless girl who kills herself.

My parents read the poem, saw my reaction and pulled me out of school. I was homeschooled from Grade 4 until Grade 11 and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I was able to work through the anxiety issues, the depression, all of it... but only because I didn't have the added anxiety and torment of school to deal with. My grades, by the way, were excellent throughout (from Grade 1 - 11) but it was my personality that was allowed to flourish because of homeschooling.

Homeschooling ISN'T for everyone but neither is public schooling. I think parents need to be attentive to their children and instead of saying; she has to learn to deal with life BLAH BLAH BLAH, they should be saying; how do we help HER learn how to deal with life?

Public school is not reflective of real life at all. The abuses that go on in public schools would NEVER be allowed outside of school. If your coworker slams your head into a brick wall (happened to my brother), he won't be coming to work the next day... however, when it happened in public school the same boy who physically abused my brother was allowed to continue to come to school and my brother had to deal with being confronted with his abuser every single day. That doesn't happen in real life.

Public school is great for kids who fit in, but not every kid is going to fit in and being treated like an outcast and bullied will NOT make a child stronger.

Anyway. I'm a big advocate for homeschooling.

That type of poem in Grade 3 is totally inappropriate. That teacher should have been taken to task on it.

jazziesaj11

I WAS HOMESCHOOLED! lol sorry just wanted to stand out a bit. I had the same issues. When I was in junior high I was teased about my weight so much in school that I would skip and pretend I was sick just to get out of going there every day. I became depressed and was diagnosed with SAD (social anxiety disorder) It's something that I still deal with today and am always self conscious about my body even though I've lost as much weight as I have. My mom decided to take me out of public school and put me into home school because the teachers and dean were doing nothing to stop the kids from bullying me. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. =D That's the God's honest truth. Many people were against it in my family, even random strangers as well. Saying that it's bad parenting, the kids don't study and just watch TV all day and a whole bunch of other crap to which they have no friggin clue. I love my mom so much because she did that for me. If the parents set a strict schedule, just like a teacher would, then the actual studying is NOT an issue. As to social awkwardness when do to "lack of social skills" home schooled children suffer in adult life. That's bull. I was always shy anyway, so public school was torture. But even for those children that are social butterflies, there are so many outside programs for homeschoolers nowadays that it makes that previous statement completely inaccurate. I think I've actually become more socially aware that most children in public school because I was able to step back and look at things from an outside perspective rather than being influenced by my "friends". While I still struggle with SAD I'm MUCH more out going now than I ever was in public school because I feel confident in my abilities, it just took me time to realize what I'm capable of. Does homeschooling work? YES! Proof is in the pudding. I went straight from being home schooled since the 7th grade into college, no public high school in between. I have been a straight A student since the start which was a year ago, my GPA is 4.0 and I'm studying Linguistics, International Relations, Anthropology as well as 5 languages. I hope to utilize these skills for a job in translating/interpreting, hopefully with a large corporation or even the government. I don't think there is a more socially involved job than interpreting languages. I'm also preparing for a student exchange program next fall semester where I'll be studying languages and international relations at Korea University in Seoul. I've never been influenced by drugs, alcohol, sex or anything else because of home school. For all I know I would've wound up pregnant at 15 if I'd stayed in public school. Anyway I hope this helped somewhat, if you're parents were to ask me if they think they should put your sister in home school, I'd say without a doubt in my mind. I KNOW I wouldn't be where I am today without that huge shift in my life.

My mom is thinking about homeschooling my eight year old sister. My sister is smart and nice, but she is socially awkward and has really bad anxiety (has meds for it) and this causes her to not want to go to school. My parents are considering home school, but I am unsure that it is a good idea. Does anybody have any opinions or experience with this? Thank you!

Very nice to read! Congrats on your success in life--you earned it!

Thank you!

castadiva

As I was reading these posts and reflecting on the entire home school vs. private school vs. public school debate, I was struck (not for the first time) by the emphasis on the individual, not on the entire community, in many of the posts. This emphasis is, of course, endemic to American culture. While my children go to a private church-affiliated preschool, they will be going to public school. Not because I went to public school or because both of my parents are public school teachers, but because I believe that, through my involvement in their education, I will, in my own small way, help the community and the country. Not all students have the opportunity to be homeschooled or sent to private school, but they should not be denied a quality education. We, as a country, have to work together if we want our education system to be the best that it can be. Decentralization makes it that much harder to work together. I clearly have a communitarian attitude towards education because I believe that that is the only way to achieve true equality of opportunity and social justice.

I know that our educational system (broadly defined) needs a lot of work. I see the product of it every day as an instructor at a large public university. I have some awesome students and others that make me wonder how they got into college. But, breaking off into little groups and focusing only on our individual children is not going to solve the problem. Working as a larger community will.

Now I await the onslaught of criticism regarding my post.....

While I understand and appreciate your point of view, I have to respectfully disagree with your conclusions. State schooling around the western world (especially the Anglophone parts of it) is increasingly failing to provide adequately for the needs of students who don't fit a notional 'norm', either because they are academically gifted, or through learning difficulties. The plain fact of the matter is that, in an academic setting, all are not created equal, however much many people and institutions would like to pretend that all are so. If a community can find a way to nourish ALL of its' members without prejudice to the appropriate opportunities and stimulation being afforded to each individual, then certainly, a communitarian approach has many benefits. Unfortunately, I have yet to see an educational community that manages that.

penrbrown

As I was reading these posts and reflecting on the entire home school vs. private school vs. public school debate, I was struck (not for the first time) by the emphasis on the individual, not on the entire community, in many of the posts. This emphasis is, of course, endemic to American culture. While my children go to a private church-affiliated preschool, they will be going to public school. Not because I went to public school or because both of my parents are public school teachers, but because I believe that, through my involvement in their education, I will, in my own small way, help the community and the country. Not all students have the opportunity to be homeschooled or sent to private school, but they should not be denied a quality education. We, as a country, have to work together if we want our education system to be the best that it can be. Decentralization makes it that much harder to work together. I clearly have a communitarian attitude towards education because I believe that that is the only way to achieve true equality of opportunity and social justice.

I know that our educational system (broadly defined) needs a lot of work. I see the product of it every day as an instructor at a large public university. I have some awesome students and others that make me wonder how they got into college. But, breaking off into little groups and focusing only on our individual children is not going to solve the problem. Working as a larger community will.

Now I await the onslaught of criticism regarding my post.....

I'm not sure I understand your point...

We want to work together, as a community, to improve the quality of education...
but the quality of education being offered in public schools (the community) is sub-par...
and if a parent can teach their child better at home then why would homeschooling not be the preferable method?

Society benefits if a child is taught in their home as long as that child excels and does well and emerges with skills that can benefit all of society. Society does not benefit when children are churned through public schools and emerge with a dismal education and end up with dead-end jobs and/or on government assistance programs because they can't keep a job.

penrbrown

That type of poem in Grade 3 is totally inappropriate. That teacher should have been taken to task on it.

That was ages ago. It wasn't the teacher, it was the curriculum. I used to joke that everyday was Halloween because everyday I being given poems of that nature and/or stories about ghosts and ghouls. It was pretty weird stuff. That curriculum was pulled out of the schools in our area a year or so after I started homeschooling.

On a side note, my cousin, who took the same curriculum, was taught how to do a seance as a class project in Grade 6. It was just a weird curriculum.

kaetmarie

That type of poem in Grade 3 is totally inappropriate. That teacher should have been taken to task on it.

That was ages ago. It wasn't the teacher, it was the curriculum. I used to joke that everyday was Halloween because everyday I being given poems of that nature and/or stories about ghosts and ghouls. It was pretty weird stuff. That curriculum was pulled out of the schools in our area a year or so after I started homeschooling.

On a side note, my cousin, who took the same curriculum, was taught how to do a seance as a class project in Grade 6. It was just a weird curriculum.

Where was that!?!?

_VoV

That type of poem in Grade 3 is totally inappropriate. That teacher should have been taken to task on it.

That was ages ago. It wasn't the teacher, it was the curriculum. I used to joke that everyday was Halloween because everyday I being given poems of that nature and/or stories about ghosts and ghouls. It was pretty weird stuff. That curriculum was pulled out of the schools in our area a year or so after I started homeschooling.

On a side note, my cousin, who took the same curriculum, was taught how to do a seance as a class project in Grade 6. It was just a weird curriculum.

^^An example of how many people's criticisms about public education have nothing to do with teachers at all. Some teachers are at the mercy of pre-selected curricula and administrative nonsense, just as the students are.

k8blujay2

That type of poem in Grade 3 is totally inappropriate. That teacher should have been taken to task on it.

That was ages ago. It wasn't the teacher, it was the curriculum. I used to joke that everyday was Halloween because everyday I being given poems of that nature and/or stories about ghosts and ghouls. It was pretty weird stuff. That curriculum was pulled out of the schools in our area a year or so after I started homeschooling.

On a side note, my cousin, who took the same curriculum, was taught how to do a seance as a class project in Grade 6. It was just a weird curriculum.

Why is this making me think about my super flaky 2nd grade teacher? Ok, I want to start out that I went through grades 2-4 (well half of 4, where I had an AWESOME teacher with a PhD education that encouraged my parents to homeschool me) through a Department of Defense ran school (I'm a military brat too, double whammy on the stereotype of "awkward"). We were the educational guinea pigs.... Anyway... I had a crazy 2nd grade teacher that would makes us "dance how we feel".... "pretend we are willows"... all that new agey mumbo jumbo.... all we cared about is that we were moving around pretending to be ballerinas.

ETA: Never mind the fact that I was constantly bullied because I was the smallest in my class AND I was a non-commissioned officers kid.... I also got things stolen from me all. the. time. Without ANY help from the teachers (the said I must have "misplaced it") or the administration.

VegesaurusRex

Thu 05/17/12 08:49 AMQUOTE:

Yes, I'm getting pissy right now. Because I am so SICK of all these strong opinions that are based on NOTHING. Research. Learn. Open your mind. Public school is not evil, but neither is homeschooling. Every kid is different. Because OMG, we're not robots!

(OP, this is not directed at you. It's good to ask questions the way you did. )

I'm out.



If this is directed at the disagreement we were having, I apologize that you felt that way. I didn't think at any point it was personal or that my opinions were stronger than your own.

That being said, I studied education (teaching and school psychology) for eight years, so I've done plenty of research about learning and child development. I'm not claiming that public schools are the absolute way to go, but I feel like it's useful and beneficial in these situations to hear from both sides. You obviously disagree, which is fine and your right, as is it is my right to disagree with you.

I agree with you Kaetmarie, I found the poster who is complaining to have very strong opinions, and obviously opinions opposed to homeschooling. However, even though I am strongly pro homeschooling, I have no problem with contrary strong opinions. I frankly don't understand people who always want everyone to agree with them. Agreeing all the time doesn't force you to think or come up with new ideas. Bytheway, I also agree with you that public schools aren't for everyone, and I will add that homeschooling is not for everyone. My own feeling is that many public schools tend to spend far more time and engergy on the average and below average than they do on the above average. I think that is why statistically (from what I have read) home schooled kids do very well in college. ) Of course you or someone else may disagree with me, and that's just fine. I would love to hear your opinions.

penrbrown

That type of poem in Grade 3 is totally inappropriate. That teacher should have been taken to task on it.

That was ages ago. It wasn't the teacher, it was the curriculum. I used to joke that everyday was Halloween because everyday I being given poems of that nature and/or stories about ghosts and ghouls. It was pretty weird stuff. That curriculum was pulled out of the schools in our area a year or so after I started homeschooling.

On a side note, my cousin, who took the same curriculum, was taught how to do a seance as a class project in Grade 6. It was just a weird curriculum.

^^An example of how many people's criticisms about public education have nothing to do with teachers at all. Some teachers are at the mercy of pre-selected curricula and administrative nonsense, just as the students are.

Absolutely! The teachers have only so much control.

But... some teachers REALLY make me wonder. I have teachers as friends and the stuff they don't know is kind of alarming. It makes me think they're also victims of a poor education system... which means our whole public education system is stuck in a vicious cycle that is getting worse with every generation.

Also, the story about the teacher who made kids dance how they feel? HAHAHAHAH. That's brilliant.

penrbrown

That type of poem in Grade 3 is totally inappropriate. That teacher should have been taken to task on it.

That was ages ago. It wasn't the teacher, it was the curriculum. I used to joke that everyday was Halloween because everyday I being given poems of that nature and/or stories about ghosts and ghouls. It was pretty weird stuff. That curriculum was pulled out of the schools in our area a year or so after I started homeschooling.

On a side note, my cousin, who took the same curriculum, was taught how to do a seance as a class project in Grade 6. It was just a weird curriculum.

Where was that!?!?

Southern Alberta, Canada.

k8blujay2

Yes, I'm getting pissy right now. Because I am so SICK of all these strong opinions that are based on NOTHING. Research. Learn. Open your mind. Public school is not evil, but neither is homeschooling. Every kid is different. Because OMG, we're not robots!

(OP, this is not directed at you. It's good to ask questions the way you did. )

I'm out.

If this is directed at the disagreement we were having, I apologize that you felt that way. I didn't think at any point it was personal or that my opinions were stronger than your own.

That being said, I studied education (teaching and school psychology) for eight years, so I've done plenty of research about learning and child development. I'm not claiming that public schools are the absolute way to go, but I feel like it's useful and beneficial in these situations to hear from both sides. You obviously disagree, which is fine and your right, as is it is my right to disagree with you.

I agree with you Kaetmarie, I found the poster who is complaining to have very strong opinions, and obviously opinions opposed to homeschooling. However, even though I am strongly pro homeschooling, I have no problem with contrary strong opinions. I frankly don't understand people who always want everyone to agree with them. Agreeing all the time doesn't force you to think or come up with new ideas. Bytheway, I also agree with you that public schools aren't for everyone, and I will add that homeschooling is not for everyone. My own feeling is that many public schools tend to spend far more time and engergy on the average and below average than they do on the above average. I think that is why statistically (from what I have read) home schooled kids do very well in college. ) Of course you or someone else may disagree with me, and that's just fine. I would love to hear your opinions.

^^^ I agree... even though I too am pro-homeschooling, I'm more pro-whatever is best for the child and the family. As long as education is a priority, does it really matter how it's done? Because I am of the opinion that even a relatively uneducated parent can teach their kids everything they should know when they graduate highschool, if education is truly a priority and it will be just as good, if not better than in another setting... Just like everything else it's not a one size fits all and nor should it be... that is what is stunting our educational system as a whole, in my opinion.

gus0124

My point is that we need to focus on all children in our community, not just on our own. Especially those children who are economically disadvantaged, from broken homes, whose parents are uninvolved, who are "outside the norm" in some way. By making our public schools better (because not every child can go to private school or be homeschooled), our country as a whole will benefit.

I just don't want to see some children left behind because their parents do not care enough about their education, while the other parents are focused solely on their own children's education.

But, at the same time, I respect everyone's opinions on this issue. This type of dialogue, when it is civil and respectful, is what we need to have if we are to make American education the best in the world (do we really want the Finns to be #1?)

jazziesaj11

Btw, before I leave due to all these posts quite frankly pissing me off... Let me say this to all of the "professionals, psychiatrists, and teachers" who seem to be in absolute disagreement with home school in terms of social awkwardness, mental issues as I believe one person put it, and the ability to handle depression/anxiety. I'm really sorry to say this is such a harsh way and you can flame me all you want, but your degrees mean nothing unless you've experienced it yourself. You can sit there all day and argue psych 101 and the effects on children all you want, but unless you've actually been tormented day by day, experienced anxiety, depression, and tried home school for yourself as a alternative, you have no clue to the ACTUAL effects these things do to you. You're education tells you the most popular theories, methods and reasoning in order to gain a better understanding on human mentality, but the fact stands is that all of that knowledge exists without compassion and true understanding of what the individual experiences. Likewise most of those popular theories stem from small/large group studies done on a certain number of children in each given situation ,so to say that it stands for the majority is most of the time false. Like I said, you wouldn't understand unless you've been there yourself. While I agree the parents will must be strong and they must be prepared at the fullest in order for home school to work as it should with the child, how can you say that statistically the teachers in the US public schools are doing that? From personal experience, 90% of them don't give a rats *kitten* and hardly ever step in to prevent bullying or fooling around etc. Same goes with what some said about mental illness and shi* seriously wtf? I'd like to see some actual statistics that PROVE that home schooled children are more likely to become mentally unstable, and socially awkward than those in public school. And if you want to shoot me these statistics, don't forget to to include the fact that home schooled children make up a much smaller portion of children in the US okay? lol, I'm done, let the flaming begin.

EDIT: Can't we all just agree to disagree? xD I find this actually quite funny, frustrating and interesting to see many different view points. However as in any situation in life, not everyone will agree with everything. I'm not saying home school is the end all be all for every child, some children may do better in public school, but the people here who have no true understanding and just blatantly say it's crap for whatever reason irritate me.

cannonsky

I think it really depends.... I made it through public school and turned out pretty well... but my parents supplemented my education at home... plus they are both teachers.. so that helped... I look around at the people I graduated with and a lot of them haven't turned out the way I would have thought they would.. some better... some worse.. I've been with two people that were home schooled... both of them were as intelligent as more... if not more so... but both of them are a lot more socially awkward than me. If I home school... I'm going to make sure my children are involved in plenty of activities outside of the home... this is looking more and more likely unless public schools can get their act together