Home school vs public school?

tinksmommy2006

As a certified, licensed school teacher, I am always concerned when parents pull their children out of regular school and say they will be "homeschooling" their child from that point forward. I will share my reasons below:

1. Qualifications/educational level of parents - Can a parent reach and teach their child the important things that child needs to know? Do they know what "developmentally appropriate" is for their child's age? Are the parents knowledgeable enough about the curriculum to present it in ways the child understands?

2. Is the curriculum relevant? Is the child learning what should be learned, versus what the parents want that child to learn? (some HS programs offer "revisionist" history, where important truths are conveniently left out - eg, slavery, holocaust, etc) There are certain skill sets/requirements all children MUST know in order to be well rounded adults. Slanted or inaccurate information can negatively affect a child's future.

3. Is the parent willing to sit by their child, invest the time, and hold their children accountable for their school work? Many parents nowadays have to work, and trusting their young child to stay home and do their school work all on line is a recipe for disaster. My daughter's friend is now being homeschooled (due to bullying) and guess what? This girl only gets 5 hours of weekly school work, which is less than one full day's worth of schooling. In a WEEK.

4. Schools provide the opportunity for children to learn HOW to get along with others, even if the children are being bullied. Instead of retreating into a "safe" world, it is better to learn how to handle the bullying and work on developing self esteem. Running away from it doesn't build self confidence, it only pushes the real issues aside.

I hope this provides you with some real information to make a very educated choice. I'm not anti-HS, I am against homeschool programs that end up causing more harm than good. Make sure your child is being monitored on a regular, weekly basis, by qualified school teachers, and is learning STATE curriculum standards. If those criteria are met, then a HS program should be okay overall.

THIS^^^^^^^^ I home schooled my daughter just for preschool and I could not imagine doing it for another grade...granted my daughter now knows damn near how to read at age 4 but it was working with her by her side for 3 hours a day...is your mom willing to do this for the rest of her schooling career? it is a ton of time, a ton of effort, a ton of planing, and a ton more money then a public school. then to make sure that she is socialized out side of the home so she can get over the socially awkwardness... you are talking a total life change for your whole family. it is not as easy as what people think. just please keep that in mind.

ambitious01

I have always been socially awkward. I went through the public school system and I believe it made me worse. My sister decided to homeschool her three children - two girls from age 8 and 9 and a son who has never seen a school. My sister lacked the discipline to follow through. Her son is now 13 and illiterate. Now, they are all awkward around other kids their age.

_VoV

The bottom line is this: if you don't suffer from social anxiety, you don't understand it. And that's ok. But if you don't understand it, don't presume to know how to fix it. Throwing someone into the lion's den is not helpful. Look at the statistics, do some research, and you'll see that for MANY children, homeschooling is the better solution, both from an academic standpoint and from a social one.

I so totally agree. And I notice you saying that homeschooling is the better solution for many children, but not ALL children. In my experience, that is a very true statement.

I also agree with what you say about social anxiety. Most people have experienced shyness in various social contexts and think they understand social anxiety. But it's a very different animal since the anxiety can be paralyzing, and manifest in physical ways which would be very dramatic to a classroom of children who are likely to remember their classmate's panic or withdrawal.

Most fears are best dealt with incrementally in a web of safety. Implosion therapy rarely works. It's the equivalent to throwing a fearful non-swimmer in the deep end of the pool.

TheBraveryLover

I went to private schools my entire life (except for college) so I only have experience with them, but I definitely think if you can find a top tier public school, that might be good. Otherwise, home schooling would be my second choice after private schooling.

jpuderbaugh

I work at Keystone National High School, based in PA. We are a private online middle and high school. We have many students who don't do well in public school (usually because they are ill), we have had a large influx of students citing "safety reasons", aka, bullying, we have many students who are child athletes and child actors. We have teachers who have to meet strict requirements, and they are there to answer student's questions and help them. Keystone is tuition based, but we allow the student a year to complete their work, offer a wide range of classes, and we don't require the student to log in at a certain time each day. Some students struggle with this and need structure, others flourish and succeed greatly. I personally hated school since my first day of pre-school. I literally came home and told my mom "I hate the kids, I quit." and she struggled to get me to go to school until high school. I would've LOVED to have known this school was right in my neighboring town.

If you want structured learning with no tuition, our sister company is k12. They do have designated times students log in, and they are a public online school. k12 is based in VA.

budhandy

to the op I cant offer much because I went to public schools. I think as long your mother does her research, learns what she needs to do, your sis will be ok. I think there advantages and disadavatages to each. Now I have social anixeity so school was hell for me. It was horrible, worse when the panic attacks hit and the kids would make fun of me for it. Did going to school and being forced to "face my fears" help? hell no. Did I get good education? depends on the teacher, some were really good while others just read from the answer key.

Justacoffeenut

I say check out what is available in your area. There are state aided homeschool programs in most states now. In these the child takes all the state testing, does what is required by the state and can get teacher help if needed. The only difference is they don't have to put up with all the crap kids have to in school.

I so wish my parents would of Homeschooled me. So much of my time was wasted in school do to things non school related. I know there are good teachers out there just as there are bad teachers. Sadly I really only had a few good ones who actually cared to teach the kids anything worthwile and try to help the kids. Most of my teachers were open book to such and such a page, read this do these questions test tomorrow. And then seat at there desk and that was it. I could of done that at home and not had to put up with mean kids and such.

Joneses17

I don't think there is a right or wrong. Everyone is different. I knew a few kids who were home schooled briefly and had trouble in high school and college because they were sheltered or lacked social skills. I know this is not the case for everyone because I also know some who were very successful because they were very active on sports teams and still spent time with their peers. I attended a great public school and loved the experience. I think it forces you out of your comfort zone in some situation that allow you to grow. Hopefully whatever you decide will work for them because everyone is different.

castadiva

I haven't read all the posts, but I haven't seen any mention of the possibility of moving your sister to a smaller, probably private, school, where in a small class the teachers may be more able to focus on her individual needs, building her confidence and helping her to overcome her difficulties. I had quite serious socialisation and bullying issues at school for a long time, and my mother considered homeschooling me, but concluded that she simply couldn't provide enough expertise across the board for that to work in the long run (she has a PhD, so her own education is pretty extensive, but wouldn't cover a lot of the necessary material for a primary and high school student). Instead, I was put into a school situation where the teachers had time for individual students and an ethos of mutual care was fostered between students. Homechooling can work out to be very expensive - quite possibly more than fees for a small private school. Worth considering, I would have thought.

kaetmarie

As a school psychologist, I have to say that a large part of school is the social piece and navigating relationships with people that are outside of your family. That being said, if school is going to be a very, very negative experience, I say go for it; however, I would recommend making sure that there are opportunities to socialize with other kids her age, so she does not continue to withdraw from those kinds of relationships. It would be fine for now, since she's young, but what happens when it's time for college or to get a job? You can't avoid people forever.

I personally think that public (or private) school is the way to go. School is about academics, absolutely, but it is also about learning how to be in the world with other people, how to manage relationships, and how to regulate your own emotions independent from your parents. These are all really important, but difficult to do when homeschooled. If I were you, I would look into the supports available at the school regarding social skill development and anxiety management. For example, at my school, I run a social anxiety group for kids that helps address ways to manage and overcome those feelings.

There are supports in schools (or supposed to be!) to help kids with not only academic problems, but social and emotional problems too. I'm not one who believes in avoiding things that are difficult, because that rarely results in a long-term solution. If she was considering homeschooling for academic reasons, that would be different -- but I think doing it to avoid some emotional discomfort will not be beneficial long-term.

vim_n_vigor

Local churches can sometimes have nice schools as part of them. They tend to have much smaller class sizes and individual attention. The parents at ours refer to it as homeschooling away from home. The tuition is very cheap too ( a few hundred for the entire year). That could be an option for your parents. If your sister has that much anxiety, I agree that a public school is not the best place for her. It can be overwhelming for a child that doesn't have anxiety issues.

MaryDreamer

My question is this: if children are being home schooled due to social anxiety or what not, how are they going to hold a job when they're old enough to work? To me, learning to deal with the difficulties of private or public school prepares us for adulthood.

impyimpyaj

My question is this: if children are being home schooled due to social anxiety or what not, how are they going to hold a job when they're old enough to work?

Read my posts through this thread. Homeschooled kids rarely just sit at home all day with no socialization. And not all jobs require a high degree of social interaction.

rugbygirlca

For a living, I work in the field of the recognition of education and am often asked to assess education completed through homeschooling. I can't comment on the quality of one program vs another or really provide any pros or cons. I just wanted to provide some food for thought about issues that I deal with on a daily basis. I am in Canada, so keep that in mind.

Homeschooling in the US is reasonably common and well-understood. Most universities and colleges have a mechanism to assess the suitability of a home-schooled candidate for admission (oftne a combination of SATs and a portfolio). The process varies from institution to institution, so it's best to at least have a look at the ones in your area. It might seem a ways away now, but you don't want to limit future opens.

Homeschooling outside the US is less common and tends not to be well recognized. US home-schooled students often face significant obstacles when trying to apply for admission to universities and colleges outside the US. While this may not be a concern at all, its just something to keep in mind.

kaetmarie

My question is this: if children are being home schooled due to social anxiety or what not, how are they going to hold a job when they're old enough to work?

Read my posts through this thread. Homeschooled kids rarely just sit at home all day with no socialization. And not all jobs require a high degree of social interaction.

That may be true, but the OP stated that they were considering homeschooling due to social awkwardness and anxiety...not for any other reason. So in this situation, that does make a difference and it seems unlikely that this child would be willing to go out and do the social things that often occur with homeschooling.

_VoV

My question is this: if children are being home schooled due to social anxiety or what not, how are they going to hold a job when they're old enough to work?

Read my posts through this thread. Homeschooled kids rarely just sit at home all day with no socialization. And not all jobs require a high degree of social interaction.

Absolutely true. And home-school socialization tends to be multi-generational. Other than school, age mixing is the norm in society. School grades are actually an artificial construct of fairly recent invention.

jcpmoore

As a certified, licensed school teacher, I am always concerned when parents pull their children out of regular school and say they will be "homeschooling" their child from that point forward. I will share my reasons below:

1. Qualifications/educational level of parents - Can a parent reach and teach their child the important things that child needs to know? Do they know what "developmentally appropriate" is for their child's age? Are the parents knowledgeable enough about the curriculum to present it in ways the child understands?

2. Is the curriculum relevant? Is the child learning what should be learned, versus what the parents want that child to learn? (some HS programs offer "revisionist" history, where important truths are conveniently left out - eg, slavery, holocaust, etc) There are certain skill sets/requirements all children MUST know in order to be well rounded adults. Slanted or inaccurate information can negatively affect a child's future.

3. Is the parent willing to sit by their child, invest the time, and hold their children accountable for their school work? Many parents nowadays have to work, and trusting their young child to stay home and do their school work all on line is a recipe for disaster. My daughter's friend is now being homeschooled (due to bullying) and guess what? This girl only gets 5 hours of weekly school work, which is less than one full day's worth of schooling. In a WEEK.

4. Schools provide the opportunity for children to learn HOW to get along with others, even if the children are being bullied. Instead of retreating into a "safe" world, it is better to learn how to handle the bullying and work on developing self esteem. Running away from it doesn't build self confidence, it only pushes the real issues aside.

I hope this provides you with some real information to make a very educated choice. I'm not anti-HS, I am against homeschool programs that end up causing more harm than good. Make sure your child is being monitored on a regular, weekly basis, by qualified school teachers, and is learning STATE curriculum standards. If those criteria are met, then a HS program should be okay overall.

^^ this. There are also certain programs/activities that you can't get involved with if you're home-schooled. I don't think learning a foreign language at home is ideal (unless there is a skype like program).

I have to disagree. I am hoping you say this because you come from an area where all the public schools are nice and rosy and never want for anything. That's not the case where I live. My children absolutely will NOT be attending the public middle school in our area when they are older. Why? It's dangerous. I have no idea if the curriculum is suitable, but socially it's dangerous. I don't mean just bullying. I mean female students getting attacked on campus dangerous.

To say that kids or parents should just push through bullying and learn to deal with it is to show that you don't know the details of the situation. To say that that the STATE curriculum is the only one that's good enough is to show that you don't know how short many state curricula are on the truth. Many state curricula use revisionist history as well, dear. Many simply skip over the inconvenient truths they do not want to cover. My state is one of those. My children attend public school now and will probably attend private school later if I can afford it. But they *always* get additional schooling at home. Because I KNOW what my schools DON'T teach.

A good home school needs a parent that is dedicated to teaching their child what that child needs to know. And yes it IS that parent's decision what that curriculum needs to be. That parent will decide if the child needs to know organic chemistry or not. European history or not. It is important that the truth of each topic be taught-but the parent decides what that is. THAT is a huge part of why people home school. Because the school curriculum is inadequate.

impyimpyaj

My question is this: if children are being home schooled due to social anxiety or what not, how are they going to hold a job when they're old enough to work?

Read my posts through this thread. Homeschooled kids rarely just sit at home all day with no socialization. And not all jobs require a high degree of social interaction.

That may be true, but the OP stated that they were considering homeschooling due to social awkwardness and anxiety...not for any other reason. So in this situation, that does make a difference and it seems unlikely that this child would be willing to go out and do the social things that often occur with homeschooling.

Who says the child calls all the shots? They go out, they ease into social situations, they get outside their comfort zone without having to be put on high alert.

MaryDreamer

"Read my posts through this thread. Homeschooled kids rarely just sit at home all day with no socialization. And not all jobs require a high degree of social interaction."

I understand that, but homeschooled children are able to CHOOSE their social activities and WHO they interact with. In public/private school you have to learn to deal with all people and many things in your path that would prepare you for the real world. Life isn't always kind and I want my children to be able to deal with that. You're right though about not all jobs requiring alot of social interaction. Very true.

cowgirlashlee

It's been said, but I think the choice of homeschooling vs. public school should be based on the ability of the parents to work with the child and the willingness of the child to do the work and continue to be successful in a home environment instead of the "institution" of a school building.

I have a few friends that were homeschooled, and they are wonderful, contributing members of society, and not socially awkward in the least. But, they also had good extra-curriculars outside of the home. They were involved with their church during the schooling years, 4-H, sports leagues, the works.

Another alternative to homeschooling, at least in my family, was montessori school. Both of my cousins' children were not doing well in public school (they're extremely smart kids, and were bored to the point that they were disruptive beyond belief in the classroom), so their parents enrolled them at a montessori school about an hour from their home. It's a wonderful school for their self-starter attitudes, and it's helping them flourish extremely well.

Your mother should probably talk to some other people in the community that homeschool, do some research on different curricula, and find what is going to work best for your sister. And if they decide to try some other private schools, such as a montessori, then do research on that as well. There are lots of alternatives out there for your sister, and hopefully your family is able to find one that works.