Off topic but feeling sad Wedding cancelled

ilovemybuggy

Hi I've been with my guy 9 years July coming we have a daughter & a business together
We were meant to be getting Married at Christmas this year church booked
But he wasn't really interested in any of it
He's never been married he's 45 I'm 42 we've been engaged 4 times as he wouldn't marry me numourous reasons but this time he said we will be married.
I started to arrange things asked his help he just kept saying I'll do it next week then that turned into 5 weeks if saying the same
So last night he said there's too many problems so us getting married now isn't ok

So I cancelled the church car registry office notice and reception venue
He was like Why? I said he said he didn't want to marry yet, he said it was my fault keep talking about it?

Now I feel empty 9 years and he I see has a commitment problem
I know I'll probably get trolls shout at me but has anyone else gone through this I love him
So we will stay together but marriage means a lot to me

To leave I'd have to split the family up be homeless and jobless

sounds like he's just dragging you along- honestly. If you've been together that long- there should be no issues with you getting married. I agree- maybe time to seek help from a counselor, or just let go.

EDIT: I kept reading and saw you ended the relationship- it's probably for the best.

jetabear10

Put your chin up...all a marriage is is a piece of paper...if it ain't broke then don't fix it!

Perhaps getting married isn't the answer.

You have already been together 9 years and have children and a business...it doesn't sound like he is going anywhere.

Work on what makes YOU happy and the rest will fall into place. IF you decide you NEED that piece of paper to make you happy, then work on it WITH him.

If I might suggest reading the book "Venus on Fire, Mars on Ice". It is a fantastic book about why women and men do what they do. It made my relationship better and both of us happier too!

Cheers!

Lisah8969

I can tell being married is important to you. With that being said, why do you want to marry someone who does not want to marry you? Is he making sure his options are open so that he can easily leave when someone else comes along? It's important to you. He doesn't want it to happen. And even if he did marry you now after agreeing and cancelling numerous times, you know that it isn't what he truly wants. Do you want him to do it b/c he feels forced? Really...I know there is a lot more to this relationship that I don't understand, but my advice would be to get out now. Do you really want to still be here in 9 more years? Still going back and forth with him saying he will marry you and then not following through and wondering what might have been???

Good luck to you no matter what!

Edit: Wow...like others, I commented before reading all the way through to see that you ended it. I can't say I'm happy, but I do think you made the right choice. I think you will be happier in the long run. GOOD LUCK!

angmarie28

ive been with my SO for 7 1/2 years we were engaged once but we had some problems and broke up for awhile, that was over 5 years ago, but by law we are married, if we split up we need a legal divorce, I call him my husband, we have 3 kids together, own a home together, I hope to have a wedding someday, but not sure if it will happen

needamulligan

Try counseling. It sounds like you are in a "marriage" now. It's just a marriage without the ceremony or legal benefits but, certainly, with all the problems that are keeping your partner from making it official. Counseling can help you through the bumps and help you determine if this is a relationship you want to save. Good luck.

RosaliaMarie

I agree with the counseling, mainly for yourself. He's been so contradictory that you probably don't know what direction he is going to take, and maybe he doesn't know himself.

Before you really decide what to do, see a lawyer to protect your assets. I can't say if you would be better off without him, being on the outside of your problem, but I do know about unhappy marriages, and the fear of being homeless and without funds if you left.

It's terrible to be in your situation and I wish I could help you more. But, only you can know what you need to do. Find out where you stand financially to protect yourself and your children.

sandown12

Hi guys I ended it and for good,hes cheated and controlled and Im worth way way more

Thanks x

dbanks80

Hi guys I ended it and for good,hes cheated and controlled and Im worth way way more

Thanks x

Great for you! I'm sure it feels like a huge burden has been lifted from your shoulders.

MaraDiaz

Edit> didn't realize it was a thread necro from forever ago.

Glad you found the strength to walk, hope you don't get screwed over as far as the business, support, and so on goes.