Offensive? Speed dating - women under sz 8 labels checked

loseweightjames

I'm putting this under motivation and support because maybe it will motivate some and upset others

http://living.msn.com/love-relationships/the-heart-beat-blog-post?post=b58ed513-8203-44de-8685-81cb0b5c0ddd

Speed Dating Event: Size 10 Need Not Apply

Guys, do you really want to partake in a dating event that would ban Christina Hendricks?

By Kristin Wong 2 hours ago

With the surplus of niche dating sites that have been popping up, singles can find quite specific matches for themselves—everything from farmers to Trekkies. But earlier this month, when a NYC-based speed dating organization held an event for skinny people only, they created a bit of controversy. The event description read:

"We all have relationship 'deal-breakers', and that does not make us shallow, we're just single New Yorkers that know what we want and are attracted to."

Agreed. Having an appearance preference, when it comes to dating, doesn’t make anyone shallow. But something does seem shallow about a dating event that's only focused on looks. Their rebuttal is a valid one:

"Obviously there is more to it than just height or size, but for many of us that initial 'attraction' factor is at least a starting point."

Using that logic, one might also argue—why do people chastise women who date sugar daddies? Isn't 'rich' their starting point? Seems many of the reasons we criticize women who seek rich men could also apply to men who seek skinny women. It should be mentioned that there were no apparent requirements for men at the "Skinny Minny" dating event.

There's quite a bit of defending this event, which is weird to me, because when we discussed this dating site, for "beautiful people only," the response was fairly negative. Isn't it kind of the same thing?

Perhaps the reason folks are more accepting of "skinny people only" is that the organization explains their stance and defends it, while Darwin Dating is unabashed about their "no ugly people" policy. The latter almost begs criticism.

At any rate, the "Skinny Minny" event description continues:

"Guys, no need to worry about meeting a biggie-size chick 'down-sizing' to an 8 like when you're dating online. We'll be checking labels at the door!"

Label checking? My initial reaction is that this is incredibly insulting, but hey, if you're going to subject yourself to this, I suppose you have it coming. Which also leads me to wonder about the fate of the attendees. Let's say you're a size 8, bordering a 10. You meet a guy here, hit it off, and you guys start dating. Wouldn't you be paranoid every time you had a calorie splurge? After all, his tastes were specific enough that he attended an event where one size up from you was off-limits. So what happens if your weight fluctuates?

Everyone is certainly entitled to their own preferences. But rounding people up based only on appearance? What do you think—is it vapid, or is it merely a starting point?

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here's the link to the actual event:
http://www.onspeeddating.com/userforms/eventdescription.aspx?EventID=702

Event - "Skinny Minny" Speed Dating Address - 106 East 19th Street

Venue Name:The Watering Hole
Event Price:40.00
Start Time:7:00
Event Date:05/30/2012
Event Day:Wednesday
Age Range:25-45

Please Note: This event is being fimed for a MAJOR show on ABC. All participants MUST be willing to be on camera. Each dater will receive one complimentary drink ticket.

Date women size 0-8.
“We all have relationship ‘deal-breakers', and that does not make us shallow, we’re just single New Yorkers that know what we want and are attracted to. Obviously there is more to it than just height or size, but for many of us that initial "attraction" factor is at least a starting point.

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the average clothing size for adult women in the United States is a 14, making our upcoming "Skinny Minny" night for svelte women size 0-8 anything but average. Guys, no need to worry about meeting a biggie-size chick "down-sizing" to an 8 like when you're dating on-line. We'll be checking labels at the door....for real!

kimpossible471

Wow.

It almost seems to me that they're looking to stir up the controversy.

My goal weight would leave me out of this thing...I'm tall - at nearly 6' I was my happiest around a size 10. I get much smaller, and the "too thin" comments start. Good thing I'm not in the hunt for speed dating in NY....

illuminatusObservor

^^ I was just thinking that too. Height is going to make a huge difference in pants size. Tall girls not allowed either?

andreacord

Well, I don't really find it offensive but I think it's kind of stupid personally. I vary in sizes depending on the brand, lowest I'd have to say is a 6 at American Eagle and I still have size 10 and 11 shorts that still fit kind of, and unfortunately I hold most of my weight in my gut so I don't know if I actually pass for an eight or not. I understand everyone has preferences, I get it because I do too and if anyone seriously says "Looks don't matter" they're being a rotten liar because you need to be attracted to someone physically and emotionally to be able to be with them.

reyopo

I'm a size 4-6 and I'M offended...I have plenty of girlfriends who wear larger sizes who are DEAD sexy, and get hit on a lot more than I do...why would you EVER rule anyone out sight unseen? Not to mention before having a CONVERSATION with them, it must suck to be so judgmental.

"Guys, do you really want to partake in a dating event that would ban Christina Hendricks?"

Exactly! You'd have to be out of your mind...

Brandicaloriecountess

I think it is ridiculous.

Rjdj3530

It does seem ridiculous but you know what it's just another thing that someone else can do and we can say "whatever". What would be silly is someone going to this that objects to it. Let the people who are hung up dating a particular size meet each other.

Oh and did I miss them covering this part but do the men have to be of a certain size too or can tubby go there trying to find his supermodel because it don't matter what the men look like?

futuremalestripper

I don't think it's offensive. Dress size is just one descriptor, of many, that people individually judge on. Sure you could argue genetics or how someone is "still beautiful," and I don't disagree, however, some will still prefer a smaller size regardless. It's a niche and they are addressing it. What if I said I don't want to date people who have an IQ below 130? A lot of people will never reach that requirement due to genetics. Is it offensive to request that? No. They aren't saying that only women under size 10 are beautiful. They are merely recognizing that some people demand that specific measurement range in their relationships for whatever personal reasons they have. It's no different than wanting to date people with a particular hair color.

Edit: I would never discriminate who I date based on size, however, I respect that some people do and it only makes sense to be efficient and address that in speed dating atmospheres. That being said, I don't really find Christina Hendricks attractive.

annamook

Fat women* are pretty rare in NYC from my observation (other than tourists I suppose). This is meant to be controversial and garner attention as opposed to truly weeding out a large segment of the population. I think they should have a "buff guys only" speed dating event. I volunteer to do "buffness checking" at the door.

*not implying that size 8 is fat - on some people it might be and others it surely would not be

Franzibear

I think the offensive thing is the fact that there's no max size given for guys. If you're gonna be like this and make sure no 'fat' girls go, then do the girls a favor and also keep the 'fat' guys out. Not that I'd be admitted with my 12, but I'm just saying: at least measure both genders to the same standard!

Arthemise1

What really gets me is that they don't list requirements for the men.

Yeah, even when I get to my goal weight, I wouldn't qualify. Tall woman here. Not that I'd go even if I did qualify. Shallowness check please!

overfences

I think having my label checked would be really, really degrading... but then again these women aren't being forced into it.

As far as a preference for women under size 10, of course that's not offensive. Different men have different preferences. There are groups for men seeking plus-sized women, too.

saxmaniac

Women often have unabashed preferences for height, so how is this any different?

Heh, you know. I once was playing a gig, and there was an "Ample Singles" event next door. Based on the clientele, it probably was minimum 300 pounds to get in. It should be noted there were quite a few men who were not overweight there, but no women who weren't overweight.

Jugie12

Damn Yankees.

I'll stick with Texas :laugh:

daffodilsoup

Not offensive at all - everybody is into something. There are tons of dating sites that a very specific - Asian singles, jewish singles, black singles, BBW singles, this is just the same thing in real life. It shouldn't really bother you if you aren't going.

fraser112

yes its very offenisve
i mean how dare people have an idea on looks? we should all feel and think exactly the same
jesus if it was no disabled people or race specific i can see why people get angry but for 95 percent of people being overweight is a choice, im not sure what a size 6 or 8 is but if that what they want go for it. personally i think people should be more against big girl nights. these people encourage people to damamge there healths but i doubt youd see anyone complain about that.
People really need to get a grip.

Krissy366

Not offensive at all - everybody is into something. There are tons of dating sites that a very specific - Asian singles, jewish singles, black singles, BBW singles, this is just the same thing in real life. It shouldn't really bother you if you aren't going.

This. It's a little weird, but weird people should get to date, too. LOL.

Meanwhile, the thing I picked up on is that the event is being filmed by ABC for a big show. My guess is it's for some reality show and that they wanted a certain look for the show.

Smuterella

It is no different to a BBW meet is it. Is that OK because it is "big" women only?

loseweightjames

I think the offensive thing is the fact that there's no max size given for guys. If you're gonna be like this and make sure no 'fat' girls go, then do the girls a favor and also keep the 'fat' guys out. Not that I'd be admitted with my 12, but I'm just saying: at least measure both genders to the same standard!

I agree, that was probably the most shocking part, that only waist size matters on women, apparently? Horribly sexist.

IMHO this reflects poorly on all of New York. Sounds like something I'd expect from LA or something, but New York? amazing

jenj1313

Sweet... where can I find one where the guys are all over 6'2" and weight at least 200 lbs! I hate it when I weigh almost as much as my guy!

JK, but seriously... people do the same thing on online dating sites, or try to, so what's the difference? Speed dating is supposed to be efficient... why not make it uber-efficient. It's not like they're forcing girls into the system. You get what you pay for... and if that's a guy or girl who starts with looks, then so be it.

zellagrrl

Seeing that there's filming involved, it's something fishy and weird. Personally, I think they should exclude men over a size 34 waist too, but... whatever. It's for TV, so therefore, it's all kinds of wrong, I'm sure.