Whaddya mean by "I'm proud of you?"

1246

Replies

  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,238 Member
    Im proud of ya sounds alot better than
    Hey! youre not a fat *kitten* anymore!

    :heart: :heart: :heart:
  • myfitnessnmhoy
    myfitnessnmhoy Posts: 2,105 Member
    I totally get you on that. I'm the same way, I just want to hear "good job" and "you look great" I'm proud of me and my husband is proud of me, I only need to hear that from him and myself!!!

    ^^^ Then tell people what you want them to say before they say it, so you won't be offended by the way they express the compliment.
  • TONYAGOOCH
    TONYAGOOCH Posts: 470 Member
    You should just asy Thank You and move on. So what if they say "I'm Proud of you" or "I'm happy for you". It's essentially the same thing just worded differently. Guess they could say "You lost weight? Sorry I didn't notice. " Would that have made you feel any better?
  • mogletdeluxe
    mogletdeluxe Posts: 623 Member
    A compliment is a verbal gift; it should be accepted as such.
  • ready2tryagain42
    ready2tryagain42 Posts: 202
    i would accept the compliment. Smile and walk away.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    This is what I mean when I say I am proud of someone:


    It seems a shame to have to sneak to get to the truth.To make the truth such a dirty old nasty thing.You gotta sneak to get to the truth, the truth is condemned.The truth is in the gas chamber.The truth has been in your stockyards.Your slaughterhouses.The truth has been in your reservations, building your railroads, emtying your garbage.The truth is in your ghettos.In your jails.In your young love,not in your courts or congress where the old set judgement on the young.What the hell do the old know about the young?They put a picture of old George on the dollar and tell you that he's your father, worship him.Look at the madness that goes on, you can't prove anything that happened yesterday.Now is the only thing that's real.Everyday, every reality is a new reality.Every new reality is a new horizon,a brand new experience of living.I got a note last night from a friend of mine.He writes in this note that he's afraid of what he might have to do in order to save his reality, as i save mine.You can't prove anything.There's nothing to prove.Every man judges himself.He knows what he is. You know what you are, as i know what i am,we all know what we are.Nobody can stand in judgement, they can play like they're standing in judgement.They can play like they stand in judgement and take you off and control the masses, with your human body.They can lock you up in penitentiaries and cages and put you in crosses like they did in the past,but it doesn't amount to anything. What they're doing is, they're only persecuting a reflection of themselves. They're persecuting what they can't stand to look at in themselves,the truth.
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
    I agree, you can only be proud of yourself and perhaps your children. So maybe they mean "I'm impresssed with you" or "You should be proud of yourself". Probably they just don't know the meaning of proud, exactly.

    Really? I can't be proud of my country, my home, my job? I can't be proud of other peoples accomplishments?
    (getting to be too many damn rules around here...) :grumble:

    Turns out that I can't even be proud of my Grandfathers war record - I had nothing to do with it afterall! :ohwell:

    Lol exactly- being proud isn't about taking some sort of credit for it, it's about saying this is something that makes me proud to know you.
  • irishcanadianwoman
    irishcanadianwoman Posts: 147
    Maybe they should just say "I'm happy for you"

    Exactly!!!
    Anyway...you should be proud. Maybe they just don't know what else to say and they want to say something positive.
    I'm happy for you too!
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Sometimes "Im proud of you" is the best response to seeing the results of someone's hard work. Because they know that if they had done what youve done, they'd definitely be proud of themselves.

    I dont know why you feel the need to be offended by people seeing your success, especially in church where you're supposed to be building each other up. If you got a better attitude, I'd be proud of you :)
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I must say, this makes no sense to me whatsoever. Why must someone be involved in the process to be proud of you? Most everyone knows it's a struggle to lose weight, even those that have never had to. Why is it bad for someone to be proud of you for your accomplishment?

    I tell my friends I'm proud of them when they accomplish something. They usually just say 'thank you'.
    One can only be proud when those accomplishments are attributed to oneself, technically speaking.

    http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/proud

    Definition of PROUD
    1: feeling or showing pride: as
    a : having or displaying excessive self-esteem
    b : much pleased : exultant
    c : having proper self-respect
    2 a : marked by stateliness : magnificent
    b : giving reason for pride : glorious <the proudest moment in her life>
    3 : vigorous, spirited <a proud steed>
    4 chiefly British : raised above a surrounding area <a proud design on a stamp>
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    On the other hand.... when someone tells me they are proud of me, I am certain they are mocking me or just trying to make me feel better... so please know that I am taking my own advice. Im not offended by it... but I do feel as though it's given out like a pity cookie.

    ohhhhh you deadlifted 70 pounds, that's so cute Im so pwoud of yooooo *bops nose*

    fml
  • ChaseAlder
    ChaseAlder Posts: 804 Member
    I hate it when people tell me they're proud of me. What a drag.
  • LindaCWy
    LindaCWy Posts: 463 Member
    Why is everyone complaining about compliments so much?

    Take it with a grain of salt and move on or wear a burka at all times so no one can see you.

    Some people don't have tact or are socially awkward we all can't be the same.

    Gees
  • garita93
    garita93 Posts: 267 Member
    I really think a lot of people are missing the point of the OP, she is not speaking of everyone on here saying they are proud of you. Everyone on here knows the daily struggles that we face. Someone who doesn't see you log in and calculate your food and exercise your butt off. Those who are saying they are proud of you, who don't now your daily struggles, what do they know what to be proud of???
  • cgsr
    cgsr Posts: 113
    hmm, well after looking up proud in a few different dictionaries, I came up wit the most neutral definition...

    Feeling pleasurable satisfaction over an act, possession, quality, or relationship by which one measures one's stature or self-worth

    Now then, everyone knows how difficult it can be to loose weight, and mostly everyone either has gone down that path or knows someone that has...so if I tell someone that I don't know particularily well that I'm proud of their weight loss...the pride can come from different aspects...my having lost weight and appreciating the effort, happy for them if I can tell they're happy...etc

    I could go on and on, but I am proud of the fact that I can stop typing and get back to work...geez
  • LauraSmyth28
    LauraSmyth28 Posts: 399 Member
    My fiancé, my parents, my best friend.....these people can say they are proud of me. I would say I was proud of them if they accomplished something. I am also very proud of my children when they learn to do anything new.

    I don't understand why this statement would annoy anyone....unless it was someone you're not close to? Then they're a bit weird for saying it.
  • zCarsAndCaloriesz
    zCarsAndCaloriesz Posts: 348
    Can't other people's expressions of well-wishing and admiration of accomplishment be just that, and not some offensive thing that folks have to rant about?

    Why not just take the expression of admiration and support with a little courtesy rather than bashing the few people left who are actually thing to be polite, even if they are a little clumsy about it?

    I completely agree with this.
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
    I don't know why this bugs me... But now that I have lost enough weight for it to be noticeable, there are people who say stuff to me like "You've lost weight? I'm so proud of you!" WTH exactly does that mean??? What did they have to do with it?? They know nothing about the how's or why's involved in either my journey into obesity or my journey out of it.... They are not the least bit involved in my day-to-day struggle to make better choices, they have not been cheerleaders in my corner keeping me motivated, sharing NSV moments. They might be "friends" but this part of my life, they are not a part of. Why the heck should they have any sense of pride about my success thus far?? The next one who says this just might get called out on it, which should be interesting because these comments usually seem to take place in the foyer of my church between services....

    Anyone on MFP who says "I'm proud of you!" - well, that I accept! My MFPeeps have been here with me cheering me on and celebrating each lb lost and each minute of exercise (and I hope I do the same for them), and I have a small handful of RL friends who share this very personal journey with me and give me encouragement and support. They can be proud of me, they have been a part of the success. But when I reach that goal weight and celebrate, the fringe element that wants to be "proud of me" for no reason, well they will not be invited to partake of the victory rice cake!!

    (end vent/thanks for listening....)

    I don't think they're implying that they had anything to do with it. They're just acknowledging the fact that you've been working hard to do something good for your body. That's all. Take it for what it is...a compliment to you.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    Those who are saying they are proud of you, who don't now your daily struggles, what do they know what to be proud of???

    For losing weight?
    For becoming healthier?
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    @CGSR dude... you've lost 40 pounds and you still dont know that its 'lose' weight not 'loose' weight?

    sorry. could. not. help. myself.

    Im proud for you on all your weight loss though!
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
    Never mind. Do it on your own. They were trying to show you support, FFS.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    I hate it when people tell me they're proud of me. What a drag.

    31lbs lost?

    I'm SO proud of you!!!!:flowerforyou:
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I really think a lot of people are missing the point of the OP, she is not speaking of everyone on here saying they are proud of you. Everyone on here knows the daily struggles that we face. Someone who doesn't see you log in and calculate your food and exercise your butt off. Those who are saying they are proud of you, who don't now your daily struggles, what do they know what to be proud of???

    Are you seriuously suggesting that only MFP members know that losing weight can be a struggle?? There is an entire diet industry dedicated to making money off that struggle. EVERYONE knows it.
  • chm2616
    chm2616 Posts: 434 Member
    I have had 2 people (my hubby and a very close friend) tell me that they are proud of me, and I accept it with a smile. They recognize that I am working hard at acheiving a goal and they see that I am sticking to it! :smile:
  • 10acity
    10acity Posts: 798 Member
    I really think a lot of people are missing the point of the OP, she is not speaking of everyone on here saying they are proud of you. Everyone on here knows the daily struggles that we face. Someone who doesn't see you log in and calculate your food and exercise your butt off. Those who are saying they are proud of you, who don't now your daily struggles, what do they know what to be proud of???

    But like I mentioned earlier, "I'm proud of you" isn't a backhanded compliment. The intent (unless there's a whole lotta history the OP left out) is just to pay a compliment. To recognize the hard work done. How is that bad? And like someone else said, it's most likely an "I'm proud to know you" sort of thing... I'm proud to have friends and family who are hard-working, dedicated, kind, intelligent people. There's something wrong with that?
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    You are upset because people are proud of you and they didn't do the work with you? You can't be happy that someone is sharing kind words with you and acknowledging your accomplishments? Do you try so hard to control other aspects of other people's lives beyond the things they are trying to say to be nice to you? Let go and enjoy the fact that you have people in your life that care enough about you to say anything kind at all. Plenty of us don't have that much. :flowerforyou:
  • korsicash
    korsicash Posts: 770 Member
    Funny you should post this. I feel weird telling someone I am proud of them. They put in the work and I cheered how is this anything to do with me. I much prefer "I am proud for you" I know it is pretty much the same thing BUT in my eyes I am expressing an emotion of go you and one that puts the emphasis on their hard work. Maybe I look too hard into the word "for" but all my MFP friends when you see me post "I am proud for you" I am expressing an emotion of go you, and that you should be proud!
  • stringsNlinks
    stringsNlinks Posts: 293 Member
    I hate it when people tell me they're proud of me. What a drag.

    31lbs lost?

    I'm SO proud of you!!!!:flowerforyou:

    and 18 lbs lost...I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!
    and now I need to go to work so my boss will be proud of ME!
  • Minoesh
    Minoesh Posts: 105 Member
    I personally will take any compliment and words of encouragement that come my way - I have worked damn hard to get where I am and love it when people are nice enough to notice and comment - even if I haven't seen them in 5 years and they haven't been part of the journey!!! Every tiny bit of encouragement spurs me on to achieve my goal - BRING IT ON!!! :happy:
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    Sad part is we're all answering to someone who can't handle a compliment....the reality is there was no good answer (or good enough)....you could say "hey good job" and the reaction will be "really? is that all you have to say?"....or you could say "I'm proud of you" and it infers that "oh, so you're my parents and I'm like your kid now"....but either way you strike me as someone who can't handle a compliment...so here goes.....you did work.....you appear to weigh less...I hope knowing that feels good \m/
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