Polygamy, Your thoughts.

christine24t

So if Romney had more than one wife, should anyone care?

Good point!

tross0924

There are thousands of known polygamists in the state of Utah. Overwhelmingly Mormon/FLDS. Listen to some of the stories of kids (usually teenagers/young adults) trying to escape this lifestyle (which is made very, very difficult) and then think about it again. 90% of these people have been physically or sexually abused. Education is actively discouraged in these communities. Thousands and thousands of people in Utah alone. It isn't a few crazies living in a tent village in the desert.

It's about far more than 'what people do behind closed doors'.

Umm first thousands might be stretching it.

Second no Mormons have more than one wife. Sects that broke away from them allow it still like the FLDS, but that's like saying Jews take communion.

Third the educational discouragement, the entrapment of those seeking to get out, and the forceful removal of the "extra" males, are more a religious things than due to the fact that they have multiple wives.

Oh and no I'm not Mormon. I just know hundreds of em.

haines99

If someone has multiple wives and children; can the male (and wives) in the house hold take care of all of them.
Do they get social aid?
If they divorce will he be able to pay child support and provide health care for the wives and children.
Are all the wives of leagal ages?
Which of the wives gets his social security? and retirement funds.
Too many unanswered questions for me.

...here is your answer... In South Africa, our president is the laughing stock of the 'civilised' world...
http://www.businessday.co.za/articles/Content.aspx?id=103788
http://www.iol.co.za/blogs/john-scott-1.2499/which-of-zuma-s-wives-will-pop-out-of-which-tunnel-first-1.1279770

...and WE as citizens pay for it!!!! So polygamy does not wash very well with me either....

jerbear67

I don't understand the entire dynamic of polygamy, I see it as one sided the men are getting all of the satisfaction and the women are still treated like property. Again that is based on my very limited knowledge and observation. I could be way off base. As long as they are happy and it works for them why not. What's wrong with being able to marry and/or be in a relationship(s) that make us happy? We are born the way were are and we believe what we believe. Right or wrong we should all be able to be with the person(s) that make us happy. I will follow all of this up by saying as along are you are not a burden to society there's no issue, if you are a burden that's an issue.

foxyforce

I don't understand the entire dynamic of polygamy, I see it as one sided the men are getting all of the satisfaction and the women are still treated like property. Again that is based on my very limited knowledge and observation. I could be way off base. As long as they are happy and it works for them why not. What's wrong with being able to marry and/or be in a relationship(s) that make us happy? We are born the way were are and we believe what we believe. Right or wrong we should all be able to be with the person(s) that make us happy. I will follow all of this up by saying as along are you are not a burden to society there's no issue, if you are a burden that's an issue.

i hear this. it should work with any gender. 4 men and 2 wives.

thebigcb

Imagine having six wives, how bad that would make you feel, and how small and worthless

" How can you all have a headache at the same time" lol

tripod271

Just my luck that I would get 4 women to go along with this idea and then their TOM didn't synch up. Every week there would be one woman p*ssed off.

LOL I can tell you've put some serious thought on this Road Dog.

Hoakiebs

I cant afford ONE wife, how could I afford multiples. Hey, if nobody is being coerced, have at it.

SARgirl

I've starting feeling like, as long as people are happy and aren't causing harm to others, let them live their damn lives. Regardless if they're gay, polygamists, Mormons, whatever. People should be allowed to be happy - no one should infringe on that (as long as there's no harm being caused.)

Amen!!!

4thehardman

As long as their human rights are not jepordised then I don't see an issue with it. Its not for me though.

Alee4nia

FYI: As person who's belief systems allows this (Islam), I would like to teach the reasons behind. First of all, in my belief system, less than 1-2% of the males practice in the entire world...so polygamy is not "in". You have to ask the first wife's permission to be able to marry a second wife and so on and so forth (the limit is 4). You have to treat them the same financially and emotionally. These are very strict beliefs to follow and you have to maintain them. Off course adding to your family in this way is very expensive and so you have to afford it.

The history behind polygamy in my belief system (Islam) was that during the time of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon you), there was a war that left many women without their husbands as they died in the war. At this time women did not work like men (this is in the 600 AD time frame) so to give these women a home emotionally and financially, God allowed marriage up to 4 women.

EDIT: The men to woman ratio during the war had was starkly dropped. there weren't enough men to marry these women individually.

In my opinion, polygamy is not for me and not practiced by most Muslim for the reasons listed above. It has nothing to do with making women second class citizens.

jnh17

If someone has multiple wives and children; can the male (and wives) in the house hold take care of all of them.
Do they get social aid?
If they divorce will he be able to pay child support and provide health care for the wives and children.
Are all the wives of leagal ages?
Which of the wives gets his social security? and retirement funds.
Too many unanswered questions for me.


So you're saying the reason the government shouldn't allow it is because if not, these government programs (that *many* don't agree with in the first place) will be hard to keep straight. Yes, that's a GREAT reason why people can't practice religion. Government assistance would be SO hard to keep from getting stretched.

As for the social security/retirement funds, those are HIS (or her) dollars -- he should be able to give them to however many people he wants.

This is only an issue because the goverment feels it necessary to regulate marriage in the first place. Why?

SurfinBird1981

Each to their own :-)

jnh17

FYI: As person who's belief systems allows this (Islam), I would like to teach the reasons behind. First of all, in my belief system, less than 1-2% of the males practice in the entire world...so polygamy is not "in". You have to ask the first wife's permission to be able to marry a second wife and so on and so forth (the limit is 4). You have to treat them the same financially and emotionally. These are very strict beliefs to follow and you have to maintain them. Off course adding to your family in this way is very expensive and so you have to afford it.

The history behind polygamy in my belief system (Islam) was that during the time of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon you), there was a war that left many women without their husbands as they died in the war. At this time women did not work like men (this is in the 600 AD time frame) so to give these women a home emotionally and financially, God allowed marriage up to 4 women.

EDIT: The men to woman ratio during the war had was starkly dropped. there weren't enough men to marry these women individually.

In my opinion, polygamy is not for me and not practiced by most Muslim for the reasons listed above. It has nothing to do with making women second class citizens.

Quick question, in Islam, isn't the man basically the boss (he can discipline his wife if necessary, etc)? So wouldn't "her permission" be like me asking one of my children for permission?

Alee4nia

FYI: As person who's belief systems allows this (Islam), I would like to teach the reasons behind. First of all, in my belief system, less than 1-2% of the males practice in the entire world...so polygamy is not "in". You have to ask the first wife's permission to be able to marry a second wife and so on and so forth (the limit is 4). You have to treat them the same financially and emotionally. These are very strict beliefs to follow and you have to maintain them. Off course adding to your family in this way is very expensive and so you have to afford it.

The history behind polygamy in my belief system (Islam) was that during the time of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon you), there was a war that left many women without their husbands as they died in the war. At this time women did not work like men (this is in the 600 AD time frame) so to give these women a home emotionally and financially, God allowed marriage up to 4 women.

EDIT: The men to woman ratio during the war had was starkly dropped. there weren't enough men to marry these women individually.

In my opinion, polygamy is not for me and not practiced by most Muslim for the reasons listed above. It has nothing to do with making women second class citizens.

Quick question, in Islam, isn't the man basically the boss (he can discipline his wife if necessary, etc)? So wouldn't "her permission" be like me asking one of my children for permission?

HauteP1nk

Each to their own...

.....as long as it doesn't harm anyone or force anyone to do something they do not want to do then do whatever floats your boat. If the polygamists are like that family on TV (Sister Wives) and they are just a big family that love one another truly and let their children be their own people and make their own life choices then who am I to judge?

I draw the line at people who force their children into their beliefs or it is more of a cult... I hate hearing about 13 year olds being married off to 40 year old men. That is wrong.

Alee4nia

My answer didn't post on the previous one. No, the man is not the "boss" in Islam and he cannot discipline her with hitting or beating. If anything he needs to communicate with his wife first with verbal language.

FYI: As person who's belief systems allows this (Islam), I would like to teach the reasons behind. First of all, in my belief system, less than 1-2% of the males practice in the entire world...so polygamy is not "in". You have to ask the first wife's permission to be able to marry a second wife and so on and so forth (the limit is 4). You have to treat them the same financially and emotionally. These are very strict beliefs to follow and you have to maintain them. Off course adding to your family in this way is very expensive and so you have to afford it.

The history behind polygamy in my belief system (Islam) was that during the time of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon you), there was a war that left many women without their husbands as they died in the war. At this time women did not work like men (this is in the 600 AD time frame) so to give these women a home emotionally and financially, God allowed marriage up to 4 women.

EDIT: The men to woman ratio during the war had was starkly dropped. there weren't enough men to marry these women individually.

In my opinion, polygamy is not for me and not practiced by most Muslim for the reasons listed above. It has nothing to do with making women second class citizens.

Quick question, in Islam, isn't the man basically the boss (he can discipline his wife if necessary, etc)? So wouldn't "her permission" be like me asking one of my children for permission?

10acity

There are thousands of known polygamists in the state of Utah. Overwhelmingly Mormon/FLDS. Listen to some of the stories of kids (usually teenagers/young adults) trying to escape this lifestyle (which is made very, very difficult) and then think about it again. 90% of these people have been physically or sexually abused. Education is actively discouraged in these communities. Thousands and thousands of people in Utah alone. It isn't a few crazies living in a tent village in the desert.

It's about far more than 'what people do behind closed doors'.

Umm first thousands might be stretching it.

Thousands isn't stretching it. I'm not in the habit of making up statistics, but the one I most recently read was 30,000 if you prefer more precision (holdingouthelp.org).

Second no Mormons have more than one wife. Sects that broke away from them allow it still like the FLDS, but that's like saying Jews take communion.

As I mentioned before, Mormonism was brought into the discussion by multiple mentions of the show "Sister Wives" (which I've never actually seen), about a family who self-identify as Mormons.

Third the educational discouragement, the entrapment of those seeking to get out, and the forceful removal of the "extra" males, are more a religious things than due to the fact that they have multiple wives.

Oh and no I'm not Mormon. I just know hundreds of em.

I don't mean to suggest that all of the problems I mentioned are due exclusively to these communities being polygamist and there are no other factors-- that would be daft. I think it is equally daft, however, to suggest there can be no correlation at all.

Dragonwolf

There are several problems with polygamy (and polyandry). But I don't care to play professor, you can research the topic more if it really interests you.

Instead I would like to ask...

are there any non-religious polygamists out there? Really? I, personally, have never heard of any so I'm just curious.

While technically, they are "religious," their polyamory isn't related to their religion, but yes, there are many who are poly and it has nothing to do with their religion. I personally know at least half a dozen or so (none of which have overlapping partners). In case you're also interested, the ones I know the most detail about are 1 woman-2+ men, and/or "tree-and-branch" style, where there's a main pair, and they each have a secondary (and the secondaries aren't intimate with the other primary).

Dragonwolf

that's all i need in my house ... TWO guys sitting on the couch playing videogames.

Hah, I'm with you there. I already feel like I'm picking up after two teenagers, and I don't have any, but between my 2-year-old and my husband, it feels that way!