Polygamy, Your thoughts.

beauty2323

Personally not for me!! I will never share my husband!

I don't care what people do.... whatever makes them happy BUT... if there's ONE guy working and having all these babies... & the moms don't work & collect welfare<<<<<<<<< that's my problem.
Why are we paying taxes to support their lifestyle??! Even people who are monogamous & just keep popping out babies, not providing for their families & relying on the government!!
It's really not fair!!!

.... Anyway... like I said I don't care what people are into but you just need to be able to handle your own *kitten*.

Dragonwolf

If it's written into the society's bylaws (be they a secular document or a religious one) that it's kosher to have more than one spouse, then the society can reap the benefits of a man siring children with several women (increasing the number of pregnancies at any given time, which helps offset the mortality rate), and can encourage the communal upbringing of the children (as well as a way of sharing resources and taking care of each other), which increases their survival rate. This was obviously a good thing for tribes/societies up to as recently as the Middle Ages, if not the Industrial Revolution.

There are benefits, but also drawbacks.

It makes sense when there is a shortage of men compared to the women, be it from plague or starvation or war. The smaller the society, the more easily such a thing could happen. Imagine you are the leader of an ancient city of 10,000 people, and suddenly 1,000 men die in a battle, leaving 4,000 men and 5,000 women. You better define some laws for controlling polygamy, because it will happen, otherwise there's gonna be even more chaos when it's left uncontrolled.

Each man with an additional wife, produces another man with zero. Let's say in that city, 3,000 men have one wife, and 1,000 have two. That means you have 1,000 men who have nothing. You think 1,000 single guys are gonna just sit around quietly and never get laid again?

When applied broadly to a large society where the sexes are roughly equal population, polygamy as policy produces a surplus of single men, which tend to turn into gangs and break stuff. That's why you don't see poly being legally sanctioned in any sort of large-scale stable society. The amount of unmarried men then builds to the point of being a problem.

:huh:

You have two major assumptions - 1) that only men are allowed more than one spouse; 2) that all, or even a large percentage of men will try to pursue more than one spouse.

Now, obviously, for the reproductive reasons to work, it requires the men to have more than one wife, but the same is not true of the communal living, where having several men to help take care of things like obtaining food and protecting the family can be a major benefit.

Additionally, I was talking about historical matters, which given the high death rate among, for example, Dark and Middle Age populations (thank you Black Death and the Crusades), the population proportions would, in fact, be unstable.

That leaves the assumption that large percentages of populations that allow even only "1 man, many wives" actually practice such behavior. According to a link I posted earlier, even among groups where such a practice is allowed, less than 5% of the population actually practices it.

Polygamy isn't sanctioned because it "produces a surplus of single men" (reality check: monogamous cultures don't necessitate everyone getting married, and marriage doesn't turn bad people into good ones). It's not legally sanctioned in modern societies, because it easily turns into a logistical nightmare. If a person has two spouses, and that person is hospitalized on life support, which spouse gets Power of Attorney? If that person dies, who gets custody of the surviving children? Who gets what belongings if they're not laid out in a will? And these are the easy questions, I'm sure someone with more knowledge of the agreements covered under the marriage contract can pull up some even hairier ones (since the marriage contract covers something on the order of over 1000 legal agreements).

driaxx

It's like communism. Good in theory, not in practice.

Dauntlessness

I JUST watched the TV show "Taboo" on this subject and have had friends that have practiced a poly lifestyle. It funny the all the misconceptions out there. People think its all about crazy sex and jealousy...sigh.
If anything, you have to communicate 10 times as much as you would in a traditional relationship of only 2 people. It takes so much more work then you would ever think. Most of my friends do not have as much sex as you would think too. Its about an emotional connection...

Just sayin

oregonzoo

Perhaps I wouldn't have a problem with polygamy if it was a two way street.
Why can't I have a harem of husbands?

JNick77

I've thought about this for a while to be honest, if all people in the marriage are happy and of age, then whats the problem? Why not let them live the way they want to? I know in my heart that i could never share my husband, but i see some positives in polygamy. The large, helpful, tight knit family. Think of all the help you would have? What are your thoughts? Cause people seem to think im crazy when i say i don't have a problem with polygamy.

We live in a country where our society faces a 50%+ divorce rate. If people can find true love and happiness in each other then they should be able to get married. Whether it's traditional marriage, polygamy, or gay marriage it shouldn't matter.