Polygamy, Your thoughts.
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The only woman who ever told me she would be ok with that (ok with joining my husband and I in a relationship, granted, the offer was not really on the table) turned out to be actually trying to steal my husband.
I will cut the next person who says "sisterwife" to me. On the face.0 -
To each his own. I could never do it but I certainly wouldn't do anything to stop anyone else doing it. I know someone in a polyamorous relationship. I dont approve.....i wasn't brought up to believe in it. But its not my life. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone in the relationship, that's the main thing.0
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Explain to me how more parents involved harms a child. You can't. I'm still waiting for a response to "One mommy and one daddy are the best environment to raise a child in." Hasn't come in yet.
Do you know of any impact studies done on polygamy? I'm not being snarky. I'm really curious here. I'd also like to see impact studies of children raised by homosexual parents. Without such studies, I don't know how either side of the debate can determine what is or isn't best for the children.
Very simple. You take things on an individual basis. Because this isn't the realm of hard science, studies can be too easily biased or inaccurate (I know, very unlike me to say, but this just isn't science).
One daddy and one mommy is not the best way to raise a child. How can I say this? Easy. Give me one drunk, abusive daddy and one enabling mommy and there goes your theory. It has to be done on an individual, case by case basis.
A study being done that said "On average homosexual partners in a loving committed relationship with good finances raise children with above average test scores and overall levels of happiness" WOULD NOT MEAN that gay couples are the best parents. It would be relevant only to those parents involved in the study. Remember we're talking about an average that is then applied to the country as a whole. It just is not accurate enough to carry any weight.
This is about love. Science, government.. they have no place in love. Love's a funny thing. What works for one does not work for another. So in this crazy world where terrible things happen to good people every second of ever day, how about we just let people choose to love one another in the way that makes them happiest? What right do we have to do anything else?0 -
The reason you could not share your husband ... you were raised with the "notion" that it's OK for a woman to have a positive sense of self worth. It's OK for you to feel that your are equal to a man.
Girls raised in polygamy are not taught this. If a woman who share's her husband is jealous ... the woman has a problem. She's the bad guy. It's not like "Big Love" ... girls raised in this environment are taught they are second class citizens.
that is also how girls are raised in the middle east, even Mexice (the oldest boy of the family gets no discipline and is revered) it's someone else's culture. I feel lucky I was born in america, I feel lucky I was raised Wiccan and not brainwashed by a Christian family - there's many who don't agree with that. Everyone will never agree on everything.
What about being brain washed by a Muslim family? Or a Jewish family? Why are Christians the bad guys in this?
Because in the US, Christianity is the vocal majority against any marriage that isn't "one man, one woman." This makes them an easy (and largest) target for criticism of all types. It's also built into Christianity to actively go out and try to convert people, which a large number construe as "go make everyone think as you do" (even when "you" are wrong about the interpretations).
The Qu'ran actually teaches outright that polygamy is okay as long as all spouses are equally provided for (Surah 4:3), so a Muslim that teaches that it's outright wrong isn't doing their homework.
Compare that to the Bible, where there are many cases of polygamy, there isn't much said outright about whether it's kosher. Combine that with the commandment that says adultery is wrong, and people's misunderstanding about how true poly relationships work even in a general sense (I know so many people who don't seem to understand even the simple difference regarding knowledge and consent between the two situations), and you end up with religious teachings that are so open to interpretation that they can swing in every direction.
I'm not as versed in Judaism, so I can't really comment on it, but in my experience, they're generally "live and let live" about most matters and any amount of what may be considered "brainwashing" or "indoctrination" is going on with their own people, behind closed doors, and not publicly, in an attempt to make the world conform.0 -
The reason you could not share your husband ... you were raised with the "notion" that it's OK for a woman to have a positive sense of self worth. It's OK for you to feel that your are equal to a man.
Girls raised in polygamy are not taught this. If a woman who share's her husband is jealous ... the woman has a problem. She's the bad guy. It's not like "Big Love" ... girls raised in this environment are taught they are second class citizens.
that is also how girls are raised in the middle east, even Mexice (the oldest boy of the family gets no discipline and is revered) it's someone else's culture. I feel lucky I was born in america, I feel lucky I was raised Wiccan and not brainwashed by a Christian family - there's many who don't agree with that. Everyone will never agree on everything.
I was raised in a Christian home I felt like I was brainwashed. Even my mom admitted it, "I didn't brainwash you hard enough, that's why you're a heathen." No, I just went to college and started thinking independently and realized that Christianity or religion in general is not for me. My family still tries to guilt me into going to church again because they can't handle the fact that I don't follow it anymore. Religion has killed and ruined the lives of so many people it's a wonder why people even follow it at all. That's just my opinion though. *shrug*0 -
Love's a funny thing. What works for one does not work for another.
Sounds like love has a lot in common with weight loss.
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what is cracking me up here is everyone assuming the relationship would be one man with multiple wives. I have friends in my life where it is one woman and two men. It's not about the men sharing the woman. They all love (and enjoy) each other equally.
This is what I was thinking. Who's to say a woman couldn't be the spouse of many men? Not for me, but I have no concern over what other adults do with their lives. Open marriages might work a little better though and then Big Brother stays out of the mix.
In my line of work (finance) I would not want to unravel that mess should there be a death and have to help with sorting out all the beneficiaries and whatnot, no thanks. Although, could be a good niche for some crafty estate planning.0 -
I however agree that 1 mommy, 1 daddy, is the best environment for a child.
If I may ask, why?
I know this is a very common belief. But I just want to know why people think that. I could prove it wrong 8 different ways from Sunday. But everyone always says it and I just always wonder why...
Because both religion and society (often these go hand and hand depending on where you live) have pounded this into our heads from the time were were old enough to say "mama" and "dada"
1 mommy and 1 daddy is best for a child??? I was raised that way and no, that wasn't always best. So is it best that the mommy beats the **** out of the kids because daddy is working out of town and mommy is too stressed and takes it out on the kids? Or Daddy beats the **** out of mommy, calls her names, and belittles her in front of the children? Or Daddy is a drug addict and is shooting up in front of the kids? The children should stay in that environment because it is "best"? Well my dear, you have obviously lived a very good life if you feel that way, and lucky you. Ignorance is bliss! unfortunately that isn't the life for the majority of children in this day and age, it is the latter or worse as I mentioned above. And what does religion have to do with anything? People who choose to live a lifestyle out of your or society's norm still can be good people, religious or not, single marriage or plural, gay or straight. FYI there are good people that aren't exactly like you.0 -
Doesn't matter what we think, opinions are like belly buttons, everyone has one. Personally, I miss the keep it simple mind frame, no one is satisfied, everyone is always trying to push the limits a little farther. Soon folks will be complaining because they can't marry thier dog/cat or a doll. These topics always become heated because someone always disagrees and then a dramatic thread unfolds with people being rude and telling that person how stupid and close minded they are. SMH, people have lost the ability to respectfully agree to disagree.0
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One daddy and one mommy is not the best way to raise a child. How can I say this? Easy. Give me one drunk, abusive daddy and one enabling mommy and there goes your theory. It has to be done on an individual, case by case basis.
While true, the problem is you can't make social policy (laws) that work on an individual basis. The line has to be drawn somewhere to apply to everyone. People who say "the government should stay away" don't seem to understand that the law HAS to be written otherwise someone IS going to break it.
Case in point - everyone here seems to agree thinks that "18" is the magic age for being an adult, when the age of consent is 15-17 in the US, lower in other countries, and marriage laws are still very different. Like it or not, that *is* the government getting involved in enforcing the law.0 -
Dont care either way, i couldnt do it cause id slap the skin off another woman if she touched my fiance but if you can hack it and it makes you happy, why not?
Consenting adults, it shouldnt be an issue. & i'd better not see some crazy religious people in here talking crap cause polygamy was in the bible there was many biblical men who had a ridiculous amount of wives.
The End.0 -
Its treated like a double standard. Its ok for men to have several women....that's been going on since before ancient time..... but its looked upon as disgusting to have one woman with several men. Not MY double standard.....but it exists. We still have a long way to go to achieve total equality.0
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This is in response to Kris... I am not sure how to respond by the quote.
My husband and I have actually had serious talks about having one or 2 more women into our relationship. Nothing to do with religion but for other reasons. 1 or 2 more incomes in the home, 1 or 2 more people to clean, cook, do laundry, yard work whatever. My husband works 16-20 hours a day 7 days a week spring and fall with working 5 days a week 16-20 hrs a day in the summer; so during his busy time it is overwhelming for me to take care of our 4br 4 bath 3 finished story home, yard work and our 9+ pets. The new women wouldn't have any children coming into the relationship nor be having any more children once they are with us. I would ALWAYS be the HBIC and what I say goes! For us, perfect!
However, that being said, I have one child and he has 3 and we wouldn't want our kids to be confused about what's going on, so that's why we haven't done it. I'm sure we could find a way to explain it to them but with our ex's involved until our kids are all 18, it's just not the drama we want to deal with. So in 14 years...this might be a real thing for us, until then perhaps I can rescue a illegal sex slave or something like that, give her a bedroom and let her live with us for free and all she has to do is cook and clean and laundry...hhhmmmmmmm imagine that!
If he works that much hire the help! This is in response to the one named Kris
As far as I'm concerned it's none of my business, wouldn't do and I believe the Bible. I don't have to judge one day we will all answer for our own life. I have enough to do to keep myself and my own business in line. To each his own. That's my 2 cents worth.
I do hire help for the yard but the house, I don't like strangers in my house messing with my things.0 -
Doesn't matter what we think, opinions are like belly buttons, everyone has one. Personally, I miss the keep it simple mind frame, no one is satisfied, everyone is always trying to push the limits a little farther. Soon folks will be complaining because they can't marry thier dog/cat or a doll. These topics always become heated because someone always disagrees and then a dramatic thread unfolds with people being rude and telling that person how stupid and close minded they are. SMH, people have lost the ability to respectfully agree to disagree.
Because some people equate polyamory with bestiality. It's kind of..what's the phrase..unbelievably offensive.0 -
Because what makes some people happy isn't good for the whole. We have an obligation to protect children of society. I think impact studies can be important. I don't think it's fair to say, "Well, this isn't any worse than a drunk, abusive father". Of course a drunk, abusive father is harmful to the children, and we've created laws to protect children from that (not that CPS always works). Because of impact studies, we know that males growing up with a single mother are at certain disadvantages, so we have "Big Brother" programs and other similar programs so society can help. Just because a mom is happy slapping her kid upside the back of his head doesn't mean I'm not going to say something to her. You ask what "right" I have to say anything. I look at it as an obligation.how about we just let people choose to love one another in the way that makes them happiest? What right do we have to do anything else?0 -
The reason you could not share your husband ... you were raised with the "notion" that it's OK for a woman to have a positive sense of self worth. It's OK for you to feel that your are equal to a man.
Girls raised in polygamy are not taught this. If a woman who share's her husband is jealous ... the woman has a problem. She's the bad guy. It's not like "Big Love" ... girls raised in this environment are taught they are second class citizens.
that is also how girls are raised in the middle east, even Mexice (the oldest boy of the family gets no discipline and is revered) it's someone else's culture. I feel lucky I was born in america, I feel lucky I was raised Wiccan and not brainwashed by a Christian family - there's many who don't agree with that. Everyone will never agree on everything.
Wow. Brainwashed? I am a Christian and am raising my children in a Christian environment. The main point of Christianity is love. We are to love our neighbor as ourselves-and our neighbor is anyone/everyone. That doesn't mean I have to love everyone's choices (that's called discernment-not judgmental). I do not think I am brainwashing my children. They certainly have the freedom to choose what they believe or don't believe.
^^ This ^^ Although, while children do have freedoms on their beliefs, I will strive to raise my child to be obedient to God. He is the creator of this universe, the one who gave us life. "But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" (Joshua 24:15)
From my personal encounters on these forums in the past [almost] full year, not many believe in God. So I type this response with the understanding I will get a lot of replies scoffing at my words, and I am okay with that. I stand strong enough on my faith in JESUS that nothing thrown my way on here will shake my faith.0 -
While I'm not really a huge fan of polygamy and my first thought is "what about the children???", I think the government needs to stay out of the bedrooms of legally consenting adults.
At the end of the day, as long as nobody is being hurt, I have no problem. Your relationship is YOURS, my relationship is MINE, and as long as everybody's happy and healthy, no need to impose my way of doing things onto anybody else.0 -
I want us to get another wife!!! Id love to have someone else to help raise the children and I want a big family. I feel like kids raised by a communal effort are better for it, there are ways that I dont do things and someone else does that would be beneficial to the kids. However I don't think I could share my husband. I get pretty jealous. I love the idea of it forcing you to deal with your jealousy issues though I feel if I could work through them Id be a better person.
Im all for it ( except in the crazy cases like 1 creepy 50 year old man marries 15 ladies and has tons of kids with them then marries and impregnates all the daughters, yeah thats obv not ok)0 -
If you don't like these threads or our debates, you really don't have to read them.Doesn't matter what we think, opinions are like belly buttons, everyone has one. Personally, I miss the keep it simple mind frame, no one is satisfied, everyone is always trying to push the limits a little farther. Soon folks will be complaining because they can't marry thier dog/cat or a doll. These topics always become heated because someone always disagrees and then a dramatic thread unfolds with people being rude and telling that person how stupid and close minded they are. SMH, people have lost the ability to respectfully agree to disagree.0 -
Its a crock
When I see one WOMAN, with 10 husbands I'll believe it. Persoanlly the people always look like it would be better for the human race if they didn;t mate at all. We have enough crossed hicks surely?0
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