Polygamy, Your thoughts.

macpatti

I get tax benefits for being married and I'm not having kids... which is probably the best thing I could do for kids considering the state of the world today, ha ha.

:laugh:

GiaFox

I don't really care what people do with their personal lives and how they handle their relationships. If they can emotionally handle sharing their partners, then, good for them. What can I say? But personally, I could never ever share my partner with anyone. I can only fully love one person at a time, and I believe the same holds true for other people, or it should. If they think differently, then I'm no one to say any more, as I wouldn't know what perspective they come from and what their mentality is, which I would fail to understand. Emotionally and morally, I could never handle polygamy. If they feel they can put their member in other women, and at the same time tell me they love me, I would think they are gravily deluded.

kockadoodledoo

i did beleived in this before! and i was really enjoying it, but i lost everything due to this. And now, i just am waiting for death to take my pain away.

Lots of fun.... till someone gets hurt!

Bella3119

I wonder how many people who posted their opposition to polygamy has had an affair......

<Crickets>

I'm talking about those who are shocked some would want more than one set of in laws, or the men who agreed that women are "expensive." I wonder how much money they spent on their mistresses.

focus4fitness

Also I know the popular thing to say lately is the government should stay out of everything, but I don’t know if that would be a comforting sentiment to me if I found out my spouse was legally married to multiple other women that I was unaware of. lol

Or I guess for some people their spouse could be legally married to multiple men and women that they were unaware of.

but that's not poly - that's bigamy. in Poly, everyone is aware and consenting.

That might be bigamy, but I don't see that big of a differene. With poly the women do not enter into a contract with each other. They only do with the man. So if they don't actually have a legal document showing that the women are consenting there is really not much to stop the man from having multiple marriages with or without the womans support.

focus4fitness

i did beleived in this before! and i was really enjoying it, but i lost everything due to this. And now, i just am waiting for death to take my pain away.

Lots of fun.... till someone gets hurt!

Were you in a polygamist marriage?

mrmanmeat

Probably has something to do with religion. Can't upset the prudes.

saxmaniac

I would just think that with 50% of heterosexual marriages ending in divorce, any argument that a two-parent traditional household is the best way to raise children has gone right out the window.

Such a misleading statistic. The divorce rate per marriage is high, because people who divorce keep doing it over and over! The ever-divorced rate per-person rate is lower.

emilyc92

I've starting feeling like, as long as people are happy and aren't causing harm to others, let them live their damn lives. Regardless if they're gay, polygamists, Mormons, whatever. People should be allowed to be happy - no one should infringe on that (as long as there's no harm being caused.)

I'm not sure why Mormons are included in this list haha. We don't practice polygamy. Mormonism is a religion, not a sexuality.

future_runner

Why does government have to have ANY say in marriage? I'm serious. Any. There should be no tax breaks or considerations for married couples (or groups in this discussion). People are free to get married, they do it constantly, there's no reason for a tax incentive. None. For purposes of a census exam? I'm sure the forms can be slightly modified without riots in the streets. If there is no law, no one is breaking it. Marriage is a decision for individuals to make. The state has no business in it.

Are you saying marriage should be abolished entirely? There are a zillion things tied up in marriage law - property benefits, power of attorney, paternity, inheritance to spouse and kin. How do you get rid of all that stuff?

Or are you saying government has no power to define who marries who, even if it is multiple people? Who's going to write the laws to split up inheritance between 3 husbands and 2 wives? It gets mind-bogglingly complex very fast once you go past two people!

Well if the government isn't writting your marriage contract you do it yourself. You determine how you your property is dispersed upon dissolution of the marriage. It's really simple actually.

Carl01

My luck I would have 4 wives all of which had their TOM on 4 different weeks.

lbrsmom

Its not a part of my personal belief system.. but what happens between consenting adults is no concern of mine.

I don't like big government stepping in and making laws where there are no need for them.

This.

absolutely this!

beach_please

I think its fine as long as everyone is consenting and happy with the arrangement.

For me personally, me and another woman in the house would probably end very badly. But I'd happily take on a couple more husbands :happy:

NotAlone82

I personally think its wrong. Do I mistreat them or act like a butt to someone who's a polygamist? Absolutely not.

jodycoady

I couldn't do it....but to each their own...if no one is getting hurt, and not hurting anyone around them, then I could care less..:drinker:

EpiGaiaRepens

WHAT?!!?! We can't just go and REDEFINE MARRIAGE!!!!

macpatti

Probably has something to do with religion. Can't upset the prudes.

Right. Because all people who are religious are prudes.

macpatti

Right. Because all people who are religious are prudes.

I don't know about prudes but I do know their the ones posting bible verses on FB and how wonderful everything is but all who know them know it's a lie they are trying to convenience themselves to believe. Or they are the rudest people driving (those with the Jesus fish on the back of their car), or pass judgement on others for not living the exact way they are living.

So, you've got some weird, religious people as friends and you are pissed off at some who are rude when driving. I guess you are under the impression that being religious makes you perfect.:huh:

neikoboo927

Right. Because all people who are religious are prudes.

I don't know about prudes but I do know their the ones posting bible verses on FB and how wonderful everything is but all who know them know it's a lie they are trying to convenience themselves to believe. Or they are the rudest people driving (those with the Jesus fish on the back of their car), or pass judgement on others for not living the exact way they are living.

So, you've got some weird, religious people as friends and you are pissed off at some who are rude when driving. I guess you are under the impression that being religious makes you perfect.:huh:

Absolutely not! I grew up very religious and always had questions and was told from a very young age that "you don't ask questions, you just believe" As an adult I decided to do some research of my own and try to find the answers to my questions and the more I researched the more I discovered it was all a lie. Religion to some is great, helps them thru tough situations, keeps them going, or just teaches them to be better people. I think that is why those long ago made this "God" because if people went around saying "treat others how you want to be treated" people would say "who the heck are you to tell me what to do" so they created this story of a mystical man in the clouds that created everything and if your not nice you will burn forever! JMHO.

ampa916

I have no problem with what anyone else does. As long as it is not harming anyone else, and if it involves more than one person that both are consenting adults.

I spent a good part of my life expecting to be like everyone else, and make others like me. But I really don't worry about anyone else anymore. I have my own life, beliefs and family that I care about. I hate that when I tell people I am Christian (if thats how the convo goes) they kind of shrink away and close up because they think I am about to brow beat them with the Bible. But what I belief doesn't have anything to with anyone else and I don't like being push into a square of peoples opinions and generalizations and so I try to not do that to anyone else.

Sharyn913

Right. Because all people who are religious are prudes.

I don't know about prudes but I do know their the ones posting bible verses on FB and how wonderful everything is but all who know them know it's a lie they are trying to convenience themselves to believe. Or they are the rudest people driving (those with the Jesus fish on the back of their car), or pass judgement on others for not living the exact way they are living.

So, you've got some weird, religious people as friends and you are pissed off at some who are rude when driving. I guess you are under the impression that being religious makes you perfect.:huh:

In reality, it is probably the same facebook friend posting occasionally, or they may have gotten honked at a year ago by a teenage boy borrowing their moms car that had a fish. Things get blown out of proportion far too often.

Being a Christian does not mean life is now a fairy tale and everything is perfect. Being a Christian is believing in Jesus and what He did on the cross 2,000 years ago for our sins, and trusting in Him. None of us are perfect, not you, not me, not anyone on this thread. Who are we to judge what morals are okay and not okay? It is not my place to judge you or anyone else on here responding they accept polygamy. I submit to a higher authority that WILL be the judge of all of us one day.

macpatti

I don't know about prudes but I do know their the ones posting bible verses on FB and how wonderful everything is but all who know them know it's a lie they are trying to convenience themselves to believe. Or they are the rudest people driving (those with the Jesus fish on the back of their car), or pass judgement on others for not living the exact way they are living.

This is your quote that lost me. We're discussing polygamy and you brought up your religious friends on FB and the ones who tick you off when you're driving. I didn't ask for you to defend why you don't believe in God.

macpatti

Being a Christian does not mean life is now a fairy tale and everything is perfect. Being a Christian is believing in Jesus and what He did on the cross 2,000 years ago for our sins, and trusting in Him. None of us are perfect, not you, not me, not anyone on this thread. Who are we to judge what morals are okay and not okay? It is not my place to judge you or anyone else on here responding they accept polygamy. I submit to a higher authority that WILL be the judge of all of us one day.

Where did I question the morality of those who accept polygamy?

neikoboo927

Right. Because all people who are religious are prudes.

I don't know about prudes but I do know their the ones posting bible verses on FB and how wonderful everything is but all who know them know it's a lie they are trying to convenience themselves to believe. Or they are the rudest people driving (those with the Jesus fish on the back of their car), or pass judgement on others for not living the exact way they are living.

So, you've got some weird, religious people as friends and you are pissed off at some who are rude when driving. I guess you are under the impression that being religious makes you perfect.:huh:

You brought up religion and something about religious people are perfect or some nonsense like that. Just writing different view on it. I knew this would spin into a religious convo and I do love them. I enjoy people talking about why they believe in what they believe. It's a very interesting topic. But yes again, you brought religion. We can continue if you would like.

Sharyn913

Being a Christian does not mean life is now a fairy tale and everything is perfect. Being a Christian is believing in Jesus and what He did on the cross 2,000 years ago for our sins, and trusting in Him. None of us are perfect, not you, not me, not anyone on this thread. Who are we to judge what morals are okay and not okay? It is not my place to judge you or anyone else on here responding they accept polygamy. I submit to a higher authority that WILL be the judge of all of us one day.

Where did I question the morality of those who accept polygamy?

Not referring to you darlin :-)

macpatti

You brought up religion and something about religious people are perfect or some nonsense like that. Just writing different view on it. I knew this would spin into a religious convo and I do love them. I enjoy people talking about why they believe in what they believe. It's a very interesting topic. But yes again, you brought religion. We can continue if you would like.

No, I wasn't the person who brought up religion. I replied to someone about it, but never brought it up.

macpatti

Not referring to you darlin :-)

Sorry. You quoted me, so I thought you were talking to me.

neikoboo927

You brought up religion and something about religious people are perfect or some nonsense like that. Just writing different view on it. I knew this would spin into a religious convo and I do love them. I enjoy people talking about why they believe in what they believe. It's a very interesting topic. But yes again, you brought religion. We can continue if you would like.

No, I wasn't the person who brought up religion. I replied to someone about it, but never brought it up.

You're right, my apologies, you just quoted the person who brought it up and commented on it as well.

Dragonwolf

Also I know the popular thing to say lately is the government should stay out of everything, but I don’t know if that would be a comforting sentiment to me if I found out my spouse was legally married to multiple other women that I was unaware of. lol

Or I guess for some people their spouse could be legally married to multiple men and women that they were unaware of.

but that's not poly - that's bigamy. in Poly, everyone is aware and consenting.

That might be bigamy, but I don't see that big of a differene. With poly the women do not enter into a contract with each other. They only do with the man. So if they don't actually have a legal document showing that the women are consenting there is really not much to stop the man from having multiple marriages with or without the womans support.

Technically speaking, the marriage document doesn't actually prove that the marriage was between consenting adults. It's easy to lie on paper, and as long as the person doesn't show any signs of having been coerced, it's not really possible to prove one way or another whether someone consented.

Also, in the US, bigamy is illegal (it's a misdemeanor - http://bigamy.uslegal.com/ ; and unlike consent, can be proven with said marriage contracts). So yes, there is actually something to "stop a man from having multiple marriages with or without the womans [sic] support."

Also, when you were single and dating, did you have your partners sign a contract that stated that both you and they were consenting (and, for that matter, that they weren't married to someone else and were cheating with you)? No? Same idea, really. A true polyamorous relationship ("true" as in, not adultery/bigamy using polyamory as a smoke screen/excuse/scapegoat) requires knowledge and consent on the part of everyone involved. And like every other relationship, it's based on the "honor system" in that you trust that everyone knows and consents to the arrangement.

WhittRak

I've thought about this for a while to be honest, if all people in the marriage are happy and of age, then whats the problem? Why not let them live the way they want to? I know in my heart that i could never share my husband, but i see some positives in polygamy. The large, helpful, tight knit family. Think of all the help you would have? What are your thoughts? Cause people seem to think im crazy when i say i don't have a problem with polygamy.

I think it is disgusting and selfish.