Polygamy, Your thoughts.
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Replies
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To each their own. It is not something I would be interested in, but if it works for others, then go for it!0
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Honestly? I wouldn't want it, nor would I want my kids raised with it. That's just my personal opinion and belief, I could really give two and a half sh*ts less what others do.0
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Any guy that wants more than one wife has got to be frickin nuts.0
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Id be more than happy with another man around (lol!), but Im far too jealous to share my husband with another woman.
I dont think its any of the government's or our business if its consenting adults... Apparently the abuse rate is higher, but they said the same thing about gay marriage, too.0 -
Consenting adults can do what they want.
Adults = 18+ not 12 year olds
My only other problem with it is that if you have 12 wives and 48 kids then you should pay to have 12 wives and 48 kids. you shouldn't have 11 wives collecting WIC and Welfare and anything else they can.
QFT0 -
Just in case you actually do come back to check responses (and I really hope you do!) I just wanted to address some issues you brought up in your eloquent reply to this issue. :flowerforyou:
Now, I could go all internet warrior here and quote stuff from teh interwebz, I'm just going to address a few things with anecdotal evidence, based on the 2 poly "triads" that I personally know.no stable self appreciating woman could be in that relationship, and it's ultimately all about the man...I mean what century are we in here?
Both triads I know are 2 men, 1 woman, and it's not all about any one person. It's about fulfilling the needs: mentally, emotionally, and yes, sexually of all 3 people. It's a give and take relationship for all three people.I am so sick and tired of people acting as though there is nothing morally right or wrong; just whatever makes you happy.....morally polygamy is WRONG (oh no did someone say there can still be something WRONG is this world, how dare me) I mean what if i think stealing makes me happy? Why should the government or anyone be allowed to tell me that I can't do that? Come on, it makes me happy and it's only me on this whole huge planet so don't you dare tell me stealing is off limits to me...it might be for you...but not for me because while it might make you feel guilty, it makes me soooo happy... GET REAL! You're not a one person world here for your happiness.
Who are you to decide morality? Contrary to popular belief, this country was not founded by "Christian leaders" and the Bible really has no place in law-making. I mean, whose Bible is the "right" one? Your example of "stealing makes me happy, so I should be able to do it" is comparing apples to oranges. As many people have said here, as long as it hurts no one, they are okay with it. Stealing negatively impacts someone...the owner of the store from which you stole, is one example that comes to mind. It hurts them financially--by taking product that they paid for without paying. How does living a poly lifestyle hurt anyone? If the adults are of sound mind, legally able to make decisions in their state (usually, it's 18,) and entering into the relationship of their own volition? How does that negatively impact anyone?
What disease? I'd love to see the stats on sexually transmitted diseases in the mono community versuse the poly community. For the two triads I know, the married couple had been monogamous their entire relationship--about 9 years, before they brought their third in. He was a best friend of both of them, had been responsible sexually in his past, and before they started the physical part of their relationship, he was tested to ensure that he didn't have anything. (He didn't.) When they are together in the bedroom, both men wear condoms, because she isn't on any sort of hormonal birth control--she and her husband use condoms when it's just the two of them as well. Their third has said that he doesn't want to be with anyone else, but if he was to be, he would use condoms. How is this propogating the spread of disease any faster than the drunken frat boys that frequent the bar scene?and let's not forget DISEASE!!!
The other couple has been together for about 15 years--until they started their poly lifestyle, they had only been with each other. They have had a few girlfriends, and EVERYONE gets tested before they start anything sexually.
Responsible, consenting adults that do what they want in their relationships are definitely not the downfall of this country (I can only assume that you were talking about the United States.) If you want to really look at the things contributing to the problems, I could list about 100 other things for you...and poly relationships would not make the list.
So, that's just my $.10 (I typed to much for it to be considered just 2 cents.0 -
My husband agrees with this:Any guy that wants more than one wife has got to be frickin nuts.
As long as they are not hurting others, I do not care about their marriage beliefs/activities/spouse list.
However, I do not and will not share. End of story for me.
That's great if it works for you, however, I will not be partaking.0 -
Interesting.
Nobody likes to share.
Weren't we all taught that sharing is good?
Yeah but I'd be jealous of the other women. Does he think they're prettier than me? Will he end up divorcing me and staying with them? Am I going to the wife that does all the work while the others make the mess? Will they tell me how to raise my future babies? Will he love them more than me? Basically, I'm too insecure for polygamy.
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I can't say that I know any polygamous people, but I know people.
I think if you looked carefully, you would find most polygamous groups in the US would be more like the Warren Jeffords type, not the "Big Love" "Sister Wives" type. The reason is simple. Why would free-thinking people be even remotely interested in "marrying" more than one person at a time, when there are so many other less-formal relationships one can enter into? Polyamorous, open marriages, these things are much more mainstream than they ever were. Marriage is by its nature a rights-restrictive legal covenant, so I fail to see why they would do this, unless they desired a TV reality show. And there are any number of legal contracts one can enter into, should a more formal relationship be required.
Sorry to be all wordy, I'm sure that will kill this thread...0 -
I've starting feeling like, as long as people are happy and aren't causing harm to others, let them live their damn lives. Regardless if they're gay, polygamists, Mormons, whatever. People should be allowed to be happy - no one should infringe on that (as long as there's no harm being caused.)
I like you
I completely agree. As long as it's not hurting anybody (and by hurting I don't mean hurting their feelings/beliefs) why do you care?? 0 -
Any willing relationship between consenting adults is perfectly fine by me. Polygamy, same-sex marriage, whatever.
As long as all the participants are adults and are not forced into the relationship or segregated completely from society as part of the relationship.
I fail to understand why it would even be my business to judge...0 -
The reason you could not share your husband ... you were raised with the "notion" that it's OK for a woman to have a positive sense of self worth. It's OK for you to feel that your are equal to a man.
Girls raised in polygamy are not taught this. If a woman who share's her husband is jealous ... the woman has a problem. She's the bad guy. It's not like "Big Love" ... girls raised in this environment are taught they are second class citizens.
I hate to break it to you but my best friend was raised in a very loving Christian household with two heterosexual parents. She chose a poly-amorous (I know that's not polygamy but, let's face it, most people don't know the difference and use them interchangeably) and they discuss any negative emotions that may arise to prevent them from festering, though truthfully she has less of them then the men in the relationship.0 -
I put it this way. As long as all people involved know about everyone else, do what you do.
I don't want to be judged by other people so I try not to to judge.
Would I want to be in a poly relationship? No, but that's me and my choice.
I know polys, hell I know gay/queer polys. They make it work and I'm still friends with them.0 -
Legally, polygamy would be a MESS. Can you imagine legally distributing wealth, earnings, and everything else to multiple wives in the case of divorce? Because in many states they wouldn't just have access to child support, they'd have access to the house and paychecks. That would just be a nightmare trying to figure out who was more entitled to what, and how it would all be distributed. Would the wife who was first be entitled to more goods, because she came first? Or would they all have the same rights? Setting that precedence in court would be a nightmare for a judge without any legal history to go from. I pity the fool who could end up taking on the first civil case, haha.
That being said, I don't particularly care what adults do with their marriages. If they're happy, more power to 'em.0 -
O here, please, let me be the one with the backwoods opinion. It's disgusting, as far as sanitation goes...well let me not go there *gags* gives their children a seriously warped sense of life, no stable self appreciating woman could be in that relationship, and it's ultimately all about the man...I mean what century are we in here? And I won't be arguing, so to everyone that decides they should tell me I have no business telling other people what makes them happy, please don't waste your time b/c I'm not even going to recheck to see the response I get....I've read enough of these I know what it will be.
I am so sick and tired of people acting as though there is nothing morally right or wrong; just whatever makes you happy.....morally polygamy is WRONG (oh no did someone say there can still be something WRONG is this world, how dare me) I mean what if i think stealing makes me happy? Why should the government or anyone be allowed to tell me that I can't do that? Come on, it makes me happy and it's only me on this whole huge planet so don't you dare tell me stealing is off limits to me...it might be for you...but not for me because while it might make you feel guilty, it makes me soooo happy... GET REAL! You're not a one person world here for your happiness.
Some "personal" decisions effect society as a whole when they're allowed to run rampant (because some people are so far gone their personal right and wrong meter is BROKE).....so let's think of the good of society...do we want submissive doormat women? do we want girls raised in this thinking they should be a doormat? boys raised to think their king of the castle? and let's not forget DISEASE!!! For such an educated, medicinally & technologically advanced country there are some really idiotic thinking (or lack there of) going on. Please enjoy roasting me
I have no interest in roasting you. I actually think you have some very valid and informed opinions. I was raised to respect everyone's opinions and also to be cognoscente that everyone lives and loves in their own way and that no family is the same as another. Tolstoy tells us "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way" I was raised to be well educated, passionate, socially responsible, financially wary, politically active and as philanthropic as I can be. I was raised in the suburbs with a lawn, a dog, and four wonderfully committed parents. My family was not and is not polygamist. We are polyamorous which is entirely different and is in no way based in any kind of dogma or doctrine. I'm glad this question was raised but I caution anyone against generalizations.0 -
The reason you could not share your husband ... you were raised with the "notion" that it's OK for a woman to have a positive sense of self worth. It's OK for you to feel that your are equal to a man.
Girls raised in polygamy are not taught this. If a woman who share's her husband is jealous ... the woman has a problem. She's the bad guy. It's not like "Big Love" ... girls raised in this environment are taught they are second class citizens.
that is also how girls are raised in the middle east, even Mexice (the oldest boy of the family gets no discipline and is revered) it's someone else's culture. I feel lucky I was born in america, I feel lucky I was raised Wiccan and not brainwashed by a Christian family - there's many who don't agree with that. Everyone will never agree on everything.
What about being brain washed by a Muslim family? Or a Jewish family? Why are Christians the bad guys in this?0 -
Just in case you actually do come back to check responses (and I really hope you do!) I just wanted to address some issues you brought up in your eloquent reply to this issue. :flowerforyou:
Now, I could go all internet warrior here and quote stuff from teh interwebz, I'm just going to address a few things with anecdotal evidence, based on the 2 poly "triads" that I personally know.no stable self appreciating woman could be in that relationship, and it's ultimately all about the man...I mean what century are we in here?
Both triads I know are 2 men, 1 woman, and it's not all about any one person. It's about fulfilling the needs: mentally, emotionally, and yes, sexually of all 3 people. It's a give and take relationship for all three people.I am so sick and tired of people acting as though there is nothing morally right or wrong; just whatever makes you happy.....morally polygamy is WRONG (oh no did someone say there can still be something WRONG is this world, how dare me) I mean what if i think stealing makes me happy? Why should the government or anyone be allowed to tell me that I can't do that? Come on, it makes me happy and it's only me on this whole huge planet so don't you dare tell me stealing is off limits to me...it might be for you...but not for me because while it might make you feel guilty, it makes me soooo happy... GET REAL! You're not a one person world here for your happiness.
Who are you to decide morality? Contrary to popular belief, this country was not founded by "Christian leaders" and the Bible really has no place in law-making. I mean, whose Bible is the "right" one? Your example of "stealing makes me happy, so I should be able to do it" is comparing apples to oranges. As many people have said here, as long as it hurts no one, they are okay with it. Stealing negatively impacts someone...the owner of the store from which you stole, is one example that comes to mind. It hurts them financially--by taking product that they paid for without paying. How does living a poly lifestyle hurt anyone? If the adults are of sound mind, legally able to make decisions in their state (usually, it's 18,) and entering into the relationship of their own volition? How does that negatively impact anyone?
What disease? I'd love to see the stats on sexually transmitted diseases in the mono community versuse the poly community. For the two triads I know, the married couple had been monogamous their entire relationship--about 9 years, before they brought their third in. He was a best friend of both of them, had been responsible sexually in his past, and before they started the physical part of their relationship, he was tested to ensure that he didn't have anything. (He didn't.) When they are together in the bedroom, both men wear condoms, because she isn't on any sort of hormonal birth control--she and her husband use condoms when it's just the two of them as well. Their third has said that he doesn't want to be with anyone else, but if he was to be, he would use condoms. How is this propogating the spread of disease any faster than the drunken frat boys that frequent the bar scene?and let's not forget DISEASE!!!
The other couple has been together for about 15 years--until they started their poly lifestyle, they had only been with each other. They have had a few girlfriends, and EVERYONE gets tested before they start anything sexually.
Responsibe, consenting adults that do what they want in their relationships are definitely not the downfall of this country (I can only assume that you were talking about the United States.) If you want to really look at the things contributing to the problems, I could list about 100 other things for you...and poly relationships would not make the list.
So, that's just my $.10 (I typed to much for it to be considered just 2 cents.
Thankyou, I was going to post something similar, but you said it much better than I would have.
My thoughts on polygamy, polyamory, and any other life style, if it isn't hurting others & is between consenting adults, I really don't care.0 -
I wouldn't do it. I just dont like the idea of sharing my boyfriend/husband.
To me it seems like eventually someone would become jealous. I've also seen some documentaries about polygamists and it seems like the women are sort of brainwashed. But hell, it's their life.0 -
I dont think anyone should dictate what people do in the privacy of their own home. I know I do enjoy watching Sister Wives - getting a peek into someone else's lifestyle. I do have issues should it come to abuse of a person be it old, young, man or woman, then I believe intervention should superceed.
But to each their own, what someone does in their home with their marital relationship. It is their personal beliefs, not my place to judge.0 -
what is cracking me up here is everyone assuming the relationship would be one man with multiple wives. I have friends in my life where it is one woman and two men. It's not about the men sharing the woman. They all love (and enjoy) each other equally.
Ha! I was just thinking that myself. Interesting assumption.
I could use a few more men around to help my partner with his chores, that's for sure!0
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