Polygamy, Your thoughts.

Options
12467…19

Replies

  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    Options
    I do not believe, and no one could ever convince me, that it is a healthy environment for children to be raised.

    Because you were taught that one way is the only way.
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
    Options
    There's a big difference between polyamory (just messing around with a bunch of people) and legally sanctioned polygamy (multi-way marriage). I have no problem with it in the personal space. Go ahead and do it.

    But you have to think "what if everyone did this?" Given roughly equal male/female populations, if a man has two committed wives, then there is going to be one guy who has zero. If lots of men have multiple wives, then lots of men will have none. A big population of men with no wives and no jobs, tends to cause problems. Polygamy is bad for social stability if lots of people do it. That's why it's taboo.

    There's not enough women who really want multiple committed husbands (polyandry), to offset the demand for men who want multiple wives (polygyny). So, by default, polygamy = polygyny as a mass effect.

    I can't imagine the legal practicality of negotiating a four-way divorce, though...

    (EDIT - clarify my terms)
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
    Options
    I do not believe, and no one could ever convince me, that it is a healthy environment for children to be raised.

    Nobody has to. They aren't your kids.
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    Options
    I'm with the (surprising) majority. Don't mess with kids, otherwise it's absolutely none of my business.
    How are they "not messing with the kids" when the kids are living in the home?

    They aren't hurting them. Just raise them in a loving household is all I ask from any parent really.

    As was said earlier, when this happens in tiny religious sects that try to marry off 12 year old girls, that's a HUGE problem. The government abolutely should find these sects and take the children from the homes of these religious nutjobs.

    But a group of people who decide for whatever reason that they all love each other and want to raise whatever family they have together in a loving, caring, protective environment...well I'm all for that. It's doesn't make any difference to me if there's one parent, two or 12 involved. It takes a village after all...

    You are a much better wordsmith than I.
  • TeaBea
    TeaBea Posts: 14,517 Member
    Options
    The reason you could not share your husband ... you were raised with the "notion" that it's OK for a woman to have a positive sense of self worth. It's OK for you to feel that your are equal to a man.

    Girls raised in polygamy are not taught this. If a woman who share's her husband is jealous ... the woman has a problem. She's the bad guy. It's not like "Big Love" ... girls raised in this environment are taught they are second class citizens.

    I know its like that in some families.. but (and I know they may act different for the cameras) the family on "sister wives" seem perfectly normal.. no degrading the women, a lot of the wives work... they really don't seem that different from the dynamics of most of the families I know.

    Oh, I forgot about "Sister Wives" .... the "reality" show .... I'm sure that's MUCH more accurate the "Big Love" the drama. :wink:

    Seriously .... most of the women here on MFP ..... "I wouldn't share my husband, but......" Do girls raised in the FLDS environment .... really feel like they have a choice? How do FLDS men find women who agree to share, when the vast majority here wouldn't?
  • IronPlayground
    IronPlayground Posts: 1,594 Member
    Options
    It's a personal preference that shouldn't be interfered with by government. Unless young children are involved (making them marry), then it's not a concern to me.

    I agree with this!
  • bethgames
    bethgames Posts: 534 Member
    Options
    I could use a spare husband.......:smokin:
  • 76tech
    76tech Posts: 1,455 Member
    Options
    My simple point of view...nothing wrong with it. Everyone has their own preferred type of relationship. As long as it involves only adults (human adults that is) then why not.

    Anything from the simple one man two wives to the complex intermarriage type thing where everyone loves everyone else, who cares.

    Love comes in more flavors than vanilla.
  • mtaylor33557
    mtaylor33557 Posts: 542 Member
    Options
    I do not believe, and no one could ever convince me, that it is a healthy environment for children to be raised.

    I do agree with this somewhat, but then I think.. well how is it any worse that a child who lives with a single parent that constantly brings boyfriends or girlfriends in and out of the child's life.. at least the home life seems stable and loving for the most part.

    I however agree that 1 mommy, 1 daddy, is the best environment for a child. But, so many live in much worse conditions.
  • faylenechung
    faylenechung Posts: 107 Member
    Options
    I do not have problem with other people having that type of relationship. I personally would not be in that situation but I feel that is my choice to make. If another person wants to have more then one spouse and everyone involved agrees and is of legal age then it should be their business.
  • MissFit0101
    MissFit0101 Posts: 2,382
    Options
    I do not believe, and no one could ever convince me, that it is a healthy environment for children to be raised.

    Because you were taught that one way is the only way.

    Actually that is completely untrue. I grew up in the south with very narrow minded, racist, prejudice parents, yet I married outside of my race, I believe in gay marriage, etc. etc. Now tell me how that is me thinking that one way is the only way? I don't think so hunni.
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    Options
    Wouldn't it be hard enough to have a marriage between 2 people to work? If they want to try having more than one spouse, go ahead but legally it'll be a nightmare. I'm also not the sharing kind of girl so it's not an option for me.
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
    Options
    But the bible says......


    P.G. (AZ,TX)
    S.M.ASCE
    1+ years of MFP Experience
    I like coffee
  • bathsheba_c
    bathsheba_c Posts: 1,873 Member
    Options
    what is cracking me up here is everyone assuming the relationship would be one man with multiple wives. I have friends in my life where it is one woman and two men. It's not about the men sharing the woman. They all love (and enjoy) each other equally.

    That's what I was thinking!
    The question was "polygamy," not "polyamory." :P

    Seriously, polygamy is much more common than polyamory. And the few polyamorous people I know are not much of an advertisement for the lifestyle. It seems to cause them more grief, not less.
  • Stagezz
    Stagezz Posts: 124 Member
    Options
    I find it very interesting...Not into sharing my Hubs, well maybe if Ginnifer Goodwin was one of my sister wives she is pretty cute. lol
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    Options
    But if you let people marry more than one person, what's to stop them marrying more than one coffee table?
    Splinters...

    :laugh:
  • Bethie_B
    Bethie_B Posts: 292 Member
    Options
    What's the difference between people practicing polygamy and the rampant instances of extra-marital affairs? Oh yeah, polygamists are open, honest and up-front about it, and have homes filled with acceptance and love.

    Do what you want, don't hurt the kids, and leave everyone else alone.
  • ezramedic
    ezramedic Posts: 119
    Options
    I love the show Sister Wives, and they show the reality of polygamy, warts and all.

    I think if its something you truly believe, in your gut, then you should live it, and it's up to none of us to judge.

    Go for it, I say.
  • rybo
    rybo Posts: 5,424 Member
    Options
    Interesting.

    Nobody likes to share.
    Weren't we all taught that sharing is good?
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
    Options
    I however agree that 1 mommy, 1 daddy, is the best environment for a child.

    If I may ask, why?

    I know this is a very common belief. But I just want to know why people think that. I could prove it wrong 8 different ways from Sunday. But everyone always says it and I just always wonder why...

Categories