Would you rather be "wanted" or "needed" ?

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Replies

  • sansey
    sansey Posts: 113 Member
    Wanted!!
  • bigdawg025
    bigdawg025 Posts: 774 Member
    I will take wanted every time... Needed implies a more codependent sort of relationship along with a lack of personal choice as far as the relationship goes.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    wanted, I don't want to be his mommy
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
    WANTED...... I don't want to be with someone only because they need me to do things for them in order to make it through the day. I rather have a guy that can hold his own and choose not to live without me... I think for women though we like (naturally)to feel needed, it's just a maternal extinct of sorts lol
  • Loves418
    Loves418 Posts: 330 Member
    Wanted for sure. I hate when somebody is needy. I can't deal with it. Unless it was when my kids where very little then they can't help but be needy. On another note truthfully now where I am in my journey of losing weight. I want to be left alone. Neither wanted or needed. I "want" everyone in my household to do for themselves and let me be!!!
  • brentrhodes
    brentrhodes Posts: 139
    Wanted
  • Lize11e
    Lize11e Posts: 419
    I need to be wanted :love:
  • babygurl48
    babygurl48 Posts: 1,237 Member
    both??

    this! needed by my kids, but wanted mostly.
  • kansasbelle
    kansasbelle Posts: 264 Member
    I was NEEDED to enable my husbands addcition for 10 years. I was NEEDED to keep a roof over our head, feed us and pay all the bills. What I needed was freedom from manipulation and guilt. I will never be NEEDED again it costs too much emotionally and physically (85 pound weight gain and high blood pressure medications) I Don't NEED anyone in my life but I sure do want someone. I NEED to be wanted. To have someone in my life who deserves my affection and attention. Who wants my company because they enjoy it not because of what I can do for them or they can do for me.
  • spacecase76
    spacecase76 Posts: 673 Member
    My feelings: Needing me means "He couldn't survive without me, because of all the things I do for him." Wanting me means "He could survive without me, but chooses not to."

    This is what I think as definition, too.

    Definitely prefer to be wanted. BF survived for 39 years before we met. He keeps me around because he enjoys my company and *wants* us to be together. Definitely a nice feeling :love:
  • sdereski
    sdereski Posts: 3,406 Member
    wanted.
  • solarpower03
    solarpower03 Posts: 12,161 Member
    Interesting, the fundamental question is what attributes make us wanted!
  • Jxnsmma
    Jxnsmma Posts: 919 Member
    Wanted... I am highly needed now and it can be very stressful...
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Loved.



    Wait...
  • Sumo813
    Sumo813 Posts: 566 Member
    In the song "Colder Weather" by the Zac Brown Band is the line "I don't want you, but I need you." This line has prompted me to ponder rather I would rather be "wanted" or "needed".

    My feelings: Needing me means "He couldn't survive without me, because of all the things I do for him." Wanting me means "He could survive without me, but chooses not to." I dont want to be needed, I need to be wanted.

    So, here is my question to you: In your realtionship (children aside, and employment aside) would you rather be "needed" or "wanted"?

    Wanted... for the exact reason you state. Being needed, in my mind, means that there is some innate purpose for me being in your life, and without me, you would have difficulty getting by. You need me because I have a vehicle, or money, or connections, or something.

    But if you want me, it's because you CHOOSE me. For no other reason except for personal choice.

    ('you' and 'me', being used figuratively, of course)
  • kymillion
    kymillion Posts: 791 Member
    I like feeling both.

    wanted of course.. but needed is more emotional..
    men can "WANT" anything..

    I want to be wanted but I also want to be needed.. not in a helpless I cant do nothing without him/her by my side way, but in the way that two people become one force to be reckoned with



    I want to be valuable again.that to me trumps all this.
  • syrennity
    syrennity Posts: 1 Member
    I want to be wanted, its always better to have someone want you than to need you. Think about it. :happy:
  • sullykat
    sullykat Posts: 461 Member
    wanted. I never want to be needed. I will agree, that at sometimes in life everyone is needed, but I don't think it is healthy to be needed for long periods of time. I can't always give my loved ones what they "need" from me, and that pressure is too much thinking they need me.
  • oneIT
    oneIT Posts: 388 Member
    Wanted just like BACON!!!
  • AggieLu
    AggieLu Posts: 873 Member
    WANTED, more than anything.
  • ChristiH4000
    ChristiH4000 Posts: 531 Member
    Wanted...that's why I divorced the guy that needed me. He really just needed a mommy.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    Wanted. Needy is so unattractive! :sick:
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    I am a wife and a mother and a friend. I really can't imagine one without the other. I want and need the people in my life! My husband, as strong and capable as he is, needs me, we are a team. My children want and need me. I want and need my friends. I need my mfp friends... I have received so much help! I also want them, look for them, mp them. I am so excited when I get a mail message! I need the input they provide...they help to make me a success. I desire to do the same for them...when I do well, it sets a good example for them. I need good examples, want them too.
  • hellokehtty
    hellokehtty Posts: 94
    Loved.



    Wait...

    I agree :)
  • littlebuddy84
    littlebuddy84 Posts: 995 Member
    Definitely wanted!
  • chachita7
    chachita7 Posts: 996 Member
    Wanted!!!

    needed brings way too many unnecessary expectations and dependency from the other person.
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
    Wanted for sure - I despise needy clingly people!!! I prefer the lyrics "I want you to want me" no needing involved!
  • Kityngirl
    Kityngirl Posts: 14,304 Member

    But if you want me, it's because you CHOOSE me. For no other reason except for personal choice.

    This.
  • legnarevocrednu
    legnarevocrednu Posts: 467 Member
    Definitely wanted!!!
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
    Being wanted is so hot...I definately want to be wanted...so bad it becomes a need. Is that asking too much?
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