Would you rather be "wanted" or "needed" ?

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Replies

  • tonicandgin
    tonicandgin Posts: 175
    need to feel wanted
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,340 Member
    More than needed, though, I feel it is a need to be appreciated. If you work all day, and come home and I have done the laundry and made a nice dinner for you and waited to eat until you were home, I want you to appreciate that. You dont NEED me to cook dinner, but you appreciate all of the little things I do, like folding your underwear and matching your socks for you. You don't NEED me to feel love, you can feel it with someone else, but you appreciate the love that I offer so unconditionally. You don't NEED me to balance the checkbook, but you appreciate that I have taken that on, even if it is because I am kinda OCD about it. You appreciate my little quirks, that some may find annoying or strange. You think it is cute that I eat the food on my plate one item at a time, or that if a food can be eaten in layers (oreos, grilled chicken sandwiches, lasagna, even spaghetti) is always eaten top to bottom, or that if I know we will be going to some big party a week from now, I will, at least twice do a test run on my makeup, and know that it is less my vanity that compels me as it is my desire to make sure that the girl you call your "trophy" to your friends, gives them no reason to dispute it.

    The "want" or desire is very important to me. It makes me feel like I am pretty, it makes me feel like I am fun. If you WANT to spend all of your time with me, If you WANT to kiss me as soon as you walk in the door every evening, if you WANT to take care of me when I am sick, or hold me when I cry, or laugh with (translation: at) me when I am drunk, or just hang out and watch the new episode of Deadliest Catch with me every Tuesday for the rest of your life, that means you DO appreciate and want me.

    To know that even when we are old, and there isn't as much to talk about, and we just sit on the porch with each other, and are happy, is the most important aspect of a relationship. Not the first part. Yeah, that is fun and exciting. But, to think about the future and the parts that are not as fun or exciting or are down right sucky, and WANT to be with me through it all...... that is the "love" that I dream about. The "love" that I hope for.
  • KristysLosing
    KristysLosing Posts: 683
    Wanted. When you say he needs me for the things I do...I picture having to do everything for him. lol But at the same time, to have someone who wants me so much that they need me, not necessarily for the things I do, like dishes and laundry, well it's nice to be needed at the same time.
  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
    desired. ;)
  • Jamie2007
    Jamie2007 Posts: 169
    Absolutely want to be wanted. Isn't it a refreshing feeling to wake up to someone who WANTS to wake up beside you and has that choice each and every day?
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    I thought Cheap Trick resolved this issue:

    I want you to want me.
    I need you to need me.
    Id love you to love me.
    I'm begging you to beg me.
  • Jamie2007
    Jamie2007 Posts: 169
    Absolutely want to be wanted. Isn't it a refreshing feeling to wake up to someone who WANTS to wake up beside you and has that choice each and every day?
  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
    I thought Cheap Trick resolved this issue:

    I want you to want me.
    I need you to need me.
    Id love you to love me.
    I'm begging you to beg me.


    and what if I do? then what? lol!!!! ;)
  • ghiaguy
    ghiaguy Posts: 46
    Absolutely want to be wanted. Isn't it a refreshing feeling to wake up to someone who WANTS to wake up beside you and has that choice each and every day?
    Yes :-)
  • Jamie2007
    Jamie2007 Posts: 169
    Absolutely want to be wanted. Isn't it a refreshing feeling to wake up to someone who WANTS to wake up beside you and has that choice each and every day?
    Yes :-)
    ;-)
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    I thought Cheap Trick resolved this issue:

    I want you to want me.
    I need you to need me.
    Id love you to love me.
    I'm begging you to beg me.


    and what if I do? then what? lol!!!! ;)

    We'd have to make it happen. :)
  • foodfight247
    foodfight247 Posts: 767 Member
    Both - I need to be Wanted and also I want to be Needed to be Appreciated etc. I Want to be Loved / Appreciated / Respected / Adored. In my mind its also a need, as without those things, life can be hard. That goes for any type of relationship. Obviously some types of relationships such as Love have a deeper level of those such qualities.
  • tasiamere
    tasiamere Posts: 233
    definitely wanted! That's like a compliment. Needed can turn into a burden...
  • BigH80
    BigH80 Posts: 280 Member
    I/m a man and I would rather be wanted than needed.
  • Stixx28
    Stixx28 Posts: 55
    Needed... Dead or Alive... Wait, can I change that to Wanted? Sounds better...
  • vlc42680
    vlc42680 Posts: 2
    It's nice to be needed, but far better to be wanted. Nothing like it.
  • SexyCook
    SexyCook Posts: 2,249 Member
    Hands down.....Wanted.....Being needed is not a good look.....what happens when you are not needed anymore?:frown:
  • N_BEAST_MODE_24_7
    N_BEAST_MODE_24_7 Posts: 120 Member
    To be " WANTED " is always good!
  • BadBamaJama
    BadBamaJama Posts: 16 Member
    To be "WANTED" my kids need me, that's enough ;-)
  • sunnie326
    sunnie326 Posts: 721 Member
    I definitely prefer to be wanted.
  • mrswattie
    mrswattie Posts: 16
    I think a bit of both makes for a good relationship. But I think it's most important to feel wanted. After being with someone who was unfaithful that's how I feel now anyway :blushing:
  • mmedjjon
    mmedjjon Posts: 511
    You could be worthless and still be wanted, but being needed, now that gives you some worth.
  • stebs1984
    stebs1984 Posts: 38
    Wanted... It really irks me that I only ever hear from "friends" when they need something... I'd much rather them WANT to come talk to me or hang out with me...
  • scotslass
    scotslass Posts: 317
    Wanted, you can't beat the passion and love from really wanting someone! I'm a mummy so I get best of both worlds, being needed as a mummy and wanted by my man
  • fionarama
    fionarama Posts: 788 Member
    its nice to be wanted, the thing is plenty of guys can want you, but there are only a select few that need you. I am lucky enough to have both at the same time, but if you don't actually need your family I think the ties are pretty tenuous - you can be wanted for so long, once you have been got, the wanting isn't so important and guys can easily change who they want in the blink of an eye. being needed is a lot deeper. Its not needy. Its finding someone that makes you so much of a better person you know you need that person in your life to reach your full potential.
  • fionarama
    fionarama Posts: 788 Member
    also there is nothing weak about needing someone, everyone needs somebody. We're not designed to be alone. the idea that its somehow braver and stronger and more virtuous to say you don't need anyone I don't agree with.
  • Jordant107
    Jordant107 Posts: 218 Member
    wanted, I hate needy girls
    I hear you!!
  • Jordant107
    Jordant107 Posts: 218 Member
    Fundamentally I think men like to be needed .

    Woman need to be wanted.

    For me i think it's a little of both. I want the woman I love. So because of that want, I now need her. It's nice to be wanted, but I also thrive on being needed. I think it's the want that creates the need.
    By needing me I mean, I want to be the guy she can call and say “my car broke down will you come pick me up?" or " I need your help." “ I’m scared”…ect.
    So..yeah while is great to be wanted..in the long run I’d rather be needed. For this simple fact ..If they never felt that they needed us (men )… they would be with their girlfriends. They are less hairy, can share most clothing, know more about their bodies and don’t leave the seat up. They just put up with our sht because they need us.The fact that they want us every now and again is a bonus.
    after reading that back… my brain hurts.. good luck with that. Made sense when I typed it
    You have a point:)

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