Why can't I enjoy men looking at me??

mcourtney09

So I went out last Friday with my husband and I wore a sexy little dress that 30lbs ago I never would have DREAMED of wearing. My husband was loving how sexy I was looking and apparently some other men in the bars and clubs were too

I got some comments that I LOVED because I never got that attention before in my life....and my husband liked how his HOT wife was getting all those appreciative stares.

Today I was talking to my trainer about it and how it made me feel good and he said it was wrong that I was excited and happy about those remarks and stares and that he doesn't want me to get too full of myself and that I shouldn't be working out so that I get attention from men...I'm married and shouldn't care.

I was quite PEED! I was excited because I was getting attention that I had always felt jealous of in college. I'm not acting on anything...I am just feeling good about myself for ONCE in my life.

I had to vent this...but has anyone else received any negative comments about how good you feel about yourself and how you are ENJOYING attention?....aren't we supposed to take pride in what we've worked so hard for??

lalapurple62

Pffft who cares what your trainer thinks, he is your TRAINER not your counsellor, if your hubby is happy and your happy thats what matters. Talk to your girlfriends and you hubby and let your trainer train you lol

scs143

He's wrong. Forget what he said. If you felt good and your husband was fine with it- forget what your trainer says.

happythermia

Sounds like your trainer is kind of an a-hole! Maybe s/he was having a bad day or something?

You've worked hard to get to where you are - so you should be proud! Whether that comes from more attention or whatever else.

You rock! Keep it up, and ignore the haters

kelika71

I don't have that happening, so I envy you!

Why shouldn't you enjoy it?! You worked and earned it! Who the hell is your trainer to say such a thing?! If your hubby had issues with it, that'd be one thing. I think I'd be putting the trainer in his place and tell him to stick to his job and not patrolling what happens.

Congrats on doing so well!!

monstergirl14

So I went out last Friday with my husband and I wore a sexy little dress that 30lbs ago I never would have DREAMED of wearing. My husband was loving how sexy I was looking and apparently some other men in the bars and clubs were too

I got some comments that I LOVED because I never got that attention before in my life....and my husband liked how his HOT wife was getting all those appreciative stares.

Today I was talking to my trainer about it and how it made me feel good and he said it was wrong that I was excited and happy about those remarks and stares and that he doesn't want me to get too full of myself and that I shouldn't be working out so that I get attention from men...I'm married and shouldn't care.

I was quite PEED! I was excited because I was getting attention that I had always felt jealous of in college. I'm not acting on anything...I am just feeling good about myself for ONCE in my life.

I had to vent this...but has anyone else received any negative comments about how good you feel about yourself and how you are ENJOYING attention?....aren't we supposed to take pride in what we've worked so hard for??

Your trainer is a dumbass.

blg5

sounds like you hit a sore spot with him. He probably had a girlfriend who was hot and she left him for someone else.

mcourtney09

Your trainer is a dumbass.

Love this! You've made me smile

jasper186

Enjoy the attention...you have feakin well earned it. Find a new trainer he is an jerk who doesn't deserve your time! He should be a source on encouragement not a negative in your life!

MonkeyFlower

yup as other posters have said, your trainer is an idiot! you go out there and enjoy yourself...of course its awesome to loose weight to be healthy but hell its also nice to be able to feel attractive and sexy...and for other people to notice! you go!!!

focus4fitness

Even your husband seemed to enjoy the attention you were getting. Your trainer probably has jealousy issues of his/her own.

mcourtney09

Thanks girls for the comments

Have you ever any had any "haters"?

sarahrbraun

you are married, not dead! As long as your hubby has no problem with the way the guys are looking at you, and you have no problem...there ISN'T a problem.

I've been with my husband for 17 years...he notices pretty women, comments about them sometimes, then comes home to me. I notice nice looking guys, I appreciate them, then I go home to hubby. As long as you look and don't touch, I don't see the issue.

jasper186

At the risk of sounding stupid....what do you mean by haters?

mcourtney09

At the risk of sounding stupid....what do you mean by haters?

People who instead of congratulating you or just giving good vibes of your success send out bad vibes or signs of jealousy. They are "hating" on your success.

trybabytry

Ugh, he sounds like a bit of an *kitten*. Get a female trainer who will high-five you and say YEAH GIRL when you tell her stuff like that!

jasper186

Yes, yes, yes.....I love these people. It makes me believe that what I see and feel is real, not just my image of myself. If you are causing these insecure, petty people that much discomfort by how you look, celebrate. You are doing something right. Keep doing what is working for you and only you. Screw them!

ProjectTae

Wow your trainer said that to you? I don't know what kind of relationship you have but that seems very unprofessional in my opinion, I'd start looking for another. And congrats on your NSV! I'd definitely enjoy it, you worked hard for it! And as for haters other than people telling me 'you don't need to lose' none here.

sgv0918

He's wrong. Forget what he said. If you felt good and your husband was fine with it- forget what your trainer says.

Exactly this.....Jerk Trainer. Not his/her place to comment

kymarai

Pffft who cares what your trainer thinks, he is your TRAINER not your counsellor, if your hubby is happy and your happy thats what matters. Talk to your girlfriends and you hubby and let your trainer train you lol

this!!!!!

Crochetluvr

he said it was wrong that I was excited and happy about those remarks and stares and that he doesn't want me to get too full of myself and that I shouldn't be working out so that I get attention from men...I'm married and shouldn't care.

Maybe he's jealous.

boldtsmith

My plumber said I should invest with Bernie Madoff...

Your trainer should stick to training.

Nteeter

From a guys perspective he may be jealous.

From a former fatty perspective he may have came across wrong but he may have been trying to say "dont let comments like those stop you from continueing". After I lost a hundred pounds alot of people told me I looked great and for about a week I considered stopping, but I havent reached my goal so I put my head down and got back in it. Ive learned to appreciate those comments but be humble, once I reach my goal then I will brag and strut

just sayin

kazzari

Wow, you're trainer is a jerk. Revel in the attention! You earned it. It is a great feeling. Being a little full of yourself beats feeling insecure or self-conscious about how you look. I thought your post was going to saying you didn't enjoy it. I think it's great that your husband is enjoying it, too!

kazzari

he said it was wrong that I was excited and happy about those remarks and stares and that he doesn't want me to get too full of myself and that I shouldn't be working out so that I get attention from men...I'm married and shouldn't care.

Maybe he's jealous.

I also had that thought!

littlepinkhearts

wow I can't even imagine where that would have come from. It's kinda hard to not enjoy being complimented. I could maybe see your husband saying or thinking that, but your trainer??

johnm8703

From a guys perspective he may be jealous.

From a former fatty perspective he may have came across wrong but he may have been trying to say "dont let comments like those stop you from continueing". After I lost a hundred pounds alot of people told me I looked great and for about a week I considered stopping, but I havent reached my goal so I put my head down and got back in it. Ive learned to appreciate those comments but be humble, once I reach my goal then I will brag and strut

just sayin

^^^^^^ Ding Ding Ding! We have a winner!!!

Congrats on your loss and your NSV! But I can all but GAURANTEE that your trainer was trying to get you to be Peed and not be complacent. As your trainer part of his job is to motivate you...right? Maybe he knew you would get PEED and bring it even harder!

Mummyadams

Get a new trainer

Mirdir

If your trainer is a guy maybe he has the hots for you and is jealous about all the attention your getting

Miss_Suzylee

not to be a joy kill-cause i do agree his comments were kind of a-holeish, but i know someone who is a trainer and i often hear how frustrating it is to train people who are obviously in it for the wrong reasons. so while i dont think he should have said anything to you or should have been that blunt about it-maybe it just hit a sore spot with him because he wants you to do it for YOU and not for other people's approval. it would be an over-reaction on his part....but it's an idea. just so you don't think it was entirely about you, perhaps it just comes with the trainer territory.

dvisser1

Your trainer sounds like a an *kitten*. You have every right to take pride in what you have accomplished and enjoy the attention. You've earned it, and you do look very good!

If his intent was to try to say don't stop working out because of the new found attention, I can agree with the intent. But I feel like I might be giving the guy to much credit here.