Why can't I enjoy men looking at me??

boldtsmith

My plumber said I should invest with Bernie Madoff...

Your trainer should stick to training.

Nteeter

From a guys perspective he may be jealous.

From a former fatty perspective he may have came across wrong but he may have been trying to say "dont let comments like those stop you from continueing". After I lost a hundred pounds alot of people told me I looked great and for about a week I considered stopping, but I havent reached my goal so I put my head down and got back in it. Ive learned to appreciate those comments but be humble, once I reach my goal then I will brag and strut

just sayin

kazzari

Wow, you're trainer is a jerk. Revel in the attention! You earned it. It is a great feeling. Being a little full of yourself beats feeling insecure or self-conscious about how you look. I thought your post was going to saying you didn't enjoy it. I think it's great that your husband is enjoying it, too!

kazzari

he said it was wrong that I was excited and happy about those remarks and stares and that he doesn't want me to get too full of myself and that I shouldn't be working out so that I get attention from men...I'm married and shouldn't care.

Maybe he's jealous.

I also had that thought!

littlepinkhearts

wow I can't even imagine where that would have come from. It's kinda hard to not enjoy being complimented. I could maybe see your husband saying or thinking that, but your trainer??

johnm8703

From a guys perspective he may be jealous.

From a former fatty perspective he may have came across wrong but he may have been trying to say "dont let comments like those stop you from continueing". After I lost a hundred pounds alot of people told me I looked great and for about a week I considered stopping, but I havent reached my goal so I put my head down and got back in it. Ive learned to appreciate those comments but be humble, once I reach my goal then I will brag and strut

just sayin

^^^^^^ Ding Ding Ding! We have a winner!!!

Congrats on your loss and your NSV! But I can all but GAURANTEE that your trainer was trying to get you to be Peed and not be complacent. As your trainer part of his job is to motivate you...right? Maybe he knew you would get PEED and bring it even harder!

Mummyadams

Get a new trainer

Mirdir

If your trainer is a guy maybe he has the hots for you and is jealous about all the attention your getting

Miss_Suzylee

not to be a joy kill-cause i do agree his comments were kind of a-holeish, but i know someone who is a trainer and i often hear how frustrating it is to train people who are obviously in it for the wrong reasons. so while i dont think he should have said anything to you or should have been that blunt about it-maybe it just hit a sore spot with him because he wants you to do it for YOU and not for other people's approval. it would be an over-reaction on his part....but it's an idea. just so you don't think it was entirely about you, perhaps it just comes with the trainer territory.

dvisser1

Your trainer sounds like a an *kitten*. You have every right to take pride in what you have accomplished and enjoy the attention. You've earned it, and you do look very good!

If his intent was to try to say don't stop working out because of the new found attention, I can agree with the intent. But I feel like I might be giving the guy to much credit here.

Symonep

Enjoy the comments!! It's not like any of your reasons to lose weight was because you wanted men to lust after you, it's just an added benefit.

Melonhead

Your trainer is an idiot. He's your employee. Tell him to shut up and count reps like he's supposed to! You look great by the way!

donrua

Find a new trainer! It's not the worst thing in the world, but it's definitely outside of their role and could be damaging to your enthusiasm for what you've accomlished. He/she is not a trained psychologist, and not your mom.

You've done very well!. If your husband was happy with it, that's important, as you want his support.. He could get scared if you seem to want that outside attention more than his, but I didn't get any sense of that from your post. If I was him, I think I would have been very happy to be out with you, and happy for you. Whenever my wife gets fixed up and goes out with me, I'm very happy for her to look nice.

wickedcricket

when it happens, I'll let you know

CallieM15

I will always care that people think im hot or not. Thats a silly thing to say just cause youre married you shouldnt care. You just shouldnt act on it.

FLAUNT IT GIRL, bask in it

Melonhead

not to be a joy kill-cause i do agree his comments were kind of a-holeish, but i know someone who is a trainer and i often hear how frustrating it is to train people who are obviously in it for the wrong reasons. so while i dont think he should have said anything to you or should have been that blunt about it-maybe it just hit a sore spot with him because he wants you to do it for YOU and not for other people's approval. it would be an over-reaction on his part....but it's an idea. just so you don't think it was entirely about you, perhaps it just comes with the trainer territory.

What are the "wrong" reasons? My reason may be different from yours, but that doesn't make it wrong.

gingerveg

From a guys perspective he may be jealous.

From a former fatty perspective he may have came across wrong but he may have been trying to say "dont let comments like those stop you from continueing". After I lost a hundred pounds alot of people told me I looked great and for about a week I considered stopping, but I havent reached my goal so I put my head down and got back in it. Ive learned to appreciate those comments but be humble, once I reach my goal then I will brag and strut

just sayin

Yeah I have to agree with this to some extent. While it might seem like your trainer was being harsh I kind of agree with not putting too much thought into these comments. I'm glad you (and your husband) got a rush out of it that's great. But overall if the main reason we work out is for compliments then I think it is a losing game in the end. Sorry if that sort of kills the buzz, but as your trainer (and the person I quoted above seems to be saying) I do think it is important to work out for health before vanity. We all grow old, get wrinkles, etc. so it is important to chase the right things~they will carry us through those tough times when no one is looking at us.

aproc

I think your trainer was out of line in saying that. He should have just agreed with you or been happy for you and not lecture. Thats not his place to decide why the person he trains wants to look better.
And I think it is perfectly fine. Plus your husband is fine with it! Sometimes we all just need to the extra attention to get a good confidence boost. Nothing wrong with that.

Awkward30

The only thing I could guess is that maybe didn't want you to get complacent or think you were done. I'm sure he's seen a lot of people put weight back on.

I like the attention too. I don't think it's wrong!

MustBeTheRows

I don't see where it's any of his business.