Why can't I enjoy men looking at me??

ElizabethObviously

Sounds like the trainer may have had a spouse leave them for someone who lost weight and liked the attention too much.

As long as you are secure in your marriage and your husband is, there is no problem. Just remember you can look but don't touch. And I love that your husband likes it. Because that hottie is his! Other guys can look but you are going home with him.

And yes, remember that losing weight at the base is about you getting healthy. That you are doing this for YOU and not for others. But hey you can enjoy what goes with it right?

NewChristina

Go Detroit!!

Take those compliments and run with them. It's further motivation to stay fit. If you enjoy the attention and your husband can feel like he's proud of who he has on his arm- your trainer is out of line!!

myfitnessnmhoy

Today I was talking to my trainer about it and how it made me feel good and he said it was wrong that I was excited and happy about those remarks and stares and that he doesn't want me to get too full of myself and that I shouldn't be working out so that I get attention from men...I'm married and shouldn't care.

Your trainer seems to have done a good job helping you with guidance on the physical work, and you should express your appreciation while also letting them know, PLAIN AND SIMPLE, that the attention you are getting is positive and healthy for your self-esteem, and they can shut the ____ up about things not related to your physical conditioning.

Jacwhite22

I know everyone in here has said f the trainer....but I gotta throw this out there. Many times people get close to their goal......get content with where they are and then slack off. While I think he lacked tact, I believe the overall message the trainer was trying to give was sound. #1 - You are doing this for you....not anyone else. #2 - Don't get content. Don't take the attention as you are already there and stop putting the work in.......... Both of which I think are good messages.

VoodooLuLu

sounds to me trainer is jealous :laugh:

UsedToBeHusky

Get a new trainer!

ironanimal

His heart is in the right place - you should be working out for YOU and not the attention of others, but there are better ways of saying.

Naturally_sassy0525

He needs to stick to training!!!! That's a confidence booster and if hubby is ok with it I see no problem! Of course health should always be your main focus and that maybe what he was trying to get at..at the same time looking and feeling sexy is the benefit of a healthy lifestyle!

Charliesuccess

Sounds like he's a little jealous that your off limits and married! strut your stuff girly..those comments are just affirmations of all the work your putting in, Ive been enjoying a few double takes myself and for once, Im giong to revel in attention! Hands off...but look all you want!

felice03

Sounds like the trainer may have had a spouse leave them for someone who lost weight and liked the attention too much.

really? how did you get that from the OP??

stacymama5

I think that is horrible. The MAIN thing that I love about this weight loss journey is how good I feel about myself. I do feel kind of strange about bragging about it to my friends (except my friend on here). But I am all about them noticing!!! :happy:

lifeskittles

I hate getting attention from men because it makes me feel SUPER awkward..to the point where I don't go out to very many places at all without my husband... That's great that you can enjoy it though! I liked it at first I remember, so enjoy it if you like it you saucy mama!

michaelfurey

Your trainer is a d-bag. you can tell him I said so. Ditch that chump and get someone happy with your success.

Catjag

While your trainer may have come off brutish or a bit harsh maybe he was simply trying to keep you from becoming complacent. You would be surprised how often that happens. I have seen firsthand through sports and my work at the gym how a couple of complements caused some people to think they no longer need to keep pushing hard. While I am not saying you are doing this as I know absolutely nothing about you but possibly from his point of view he might just be looking out for you and working to keep you on your path and working hard. He simply could need a little help in putting his thoughts together a little better.

For the record, I am surprised how many people are jumping on the jealousy angle.

jaxandmaksmom

i would have looked at him and said .. ya you are fired...

his job is promote your self esteem that if you are getting the good feelings just imagine how amazing it will be when you get to goal.... he should have said that is awesome.. lets get going to so more men stare at you..

I would have been royally pissed and told him to bite the big one.. wow what a jerk


I dont care if he is having a bad day, wife left him for some skinny or whatever.. when a client comes in with a succes ( and honestly.. being looked at like that after feeling so blah about yourself is a huge sucess) he should be doing backflips and **** for you....

I hate people who are negitive about your happiness.. it makes them look so little..

get rid of him and get someone who will be happy for you.. not making you feel like you didnt deserve the compliments

missjewl

Your trainer needs a kick in the buttocks! just because your married doesnt mean you cant enjoy the attention! Now depending on the guys checking you out and how they are checking you might be creepy but it i find it helps boosts confidence! I'm not shallow and i dont think very highly of myself but i do get checked out too! It feels good to be noticed.

alikrorp225

I have to wonder what he means by "getting full of yourself." How is getting attention going to make your workouts and losing weight worse? Seems motivating to me. I agree with others who've said that he's not your counselor. He's your trainer. His job is to make sure you get the most out of your workout.

I know that getting attention from other men is a great high. I would just say, be careful. Always let your husband's reactions be the most important of all, over the attention you get from other men. I try to remember that it's been my husband who has loved me, thick or thin. The rest is just the cherries on top.

Congrats, btw. You look fabulous!!

dad106

Sounds like your trainer wants you to be dependent on him.. which won't happen if you start to realize how good you look. Once you realize that, then you may realize that you don't really need him.. and there goes his income. So instead, he tears you down to make you feel like you still need him and his services.

BTW, if my trainer ever told me that, I'd so find the biggest medicine ball in the gym and throw it at his head.... so exercised some very good restraint there.

Aurora76

That was a mean thing to say. Maybe he should of found a better way to phrase what I hope he meant to say. I hope he meant that he wants you to do this for yourself and no one else.
I workout because it makes me feel good and it will help me get stronger. I love being strong.

My husband also enjoys the attention I have gotten since I started losing weight. It makes him feel like he has a hot wife and enjoys the jealousy of other men. Of course my hubby is hot also so I enjoy watching women try to "steal" him away.
Enjoy the attention.

MtnKat

Meh. I like it when men (and occasionally a woman, too lol) look at me....

It gives me a little ego boost for the day.

I don't go looking for it....but when it happens, I see nothing wrong with feeling good about it....especially when youve worked so hard at losing weight.

Don't listen to him....he doesn't know what he's talking about. He's probably never had a weight issue in his life.