Is total abstention easier than moderation?

13suzie

"A piece of advice I often see is, “Be moderate. Don’t have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you’ll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan.”

I’ve come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the “moderators.” They do better when they try to make moderate changes, when they avoid absolutes and bright lines.

For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation–and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”

Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”

I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen yogurt treat very often, two and even three times a day, I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat it twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?” “Does this time ‘count’?” etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.

There’s no right way or wrong way–it’s just a matter of knowing which strategy works better for you. "

So, what about you guys? Are you moderators or abstainers?

For the rest of the article: http://happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2012/05/quiz-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

Ditto. When it comes to sugar, moderation is not helpful for me. Total cold turkey relieves me of the agonizing battle and circumvents the sugar crazies! Easier said than done. I ate a stupid (not worthwhile dessert) last night.

ironanimal

Complete abstinence would lead to a meltdown for me.

Moderation? No problem.

highervibes

My triggers specifically are sugars and refined carbs so I have found some substitutions. I can eat 2 Russel Stover Sugar Free Mint Patties without cravings because it doesn't affect my blood sugar. I can have some black bean brownies without consequence either. I think as long as I choose foods, or smart substitutions, that are kind to my blood sugar I can be a moderator quite nicely. It's when I have to eat things that make my blood sugar go crazy that I become a binger/craver/hangry! lol

Achrya

In order to lose weight I eat the same stuff I used to eat...just less. I can eat two cookies or drink one Pepsi, I can have five hot wings and even weigh a serving of chips without issue. No reason to stress, if I want more later and I find it fits in my daily goal I do it. If not I dont. For me its simple.

It helps to log before i eat, to see where my choices will land me.

SisterhoodoftheShrinkingPants

Ive done both. I lost 100 lbs in OA (no wheat or sugar for 8 months) but this time Im doing it differently. Calories in, Cals out. I eat clean 80% and let myself "cheat" now and again. I dont like to call it cheating but thats the lingo lol I like to think of it as I CAN eat anything I want. I just CHOOSE to eat healthy. Even still, I let myself have a cookie now and again. Sometimes it works that way, sometimes I lose it and eat too many. Such is my life long battle with my tastebuds lol. Interestingly, with my few food slips along the way I am losing at the same rate I was when I was 100% abstinent. So that makes me ask myself if abstinence is NECESSARY? I think its really up to you. Be totally honest yourself. Will having a cookie (for example) throw you off completely? cause you to stop eating clean and working out? if so, its not worth even one bite. I cant bring sweets into the house, and thats hard because I have kids so occasionally it happens. Every time it does I eat more than I should. My solution? Add it to MFP and MOVE FORWARD with my next meal. Its getting to the point where when Im grocery shopping I ask myself "Is it worth it?" or Ill say " no thats setting me up for a fall if I bring that in". The point it, I have a choice. Id much rather save a splurge for that office birthday party or pizza night that invariably pops up in life. When those times come, I say, Ive put in the work, I CAN partake. Cheers!

SisterhoodoftheShrinkingPants

thats key! LATER

violettatx

Complete abstinence would lead to a meltdown for me.

Moderation? No problem.

This is me. I am in the moderation camp. If I abstain from eating favorite foods, it only makes me want to eat it more. What I do many times is tweak recipes so they fit into my macros and calories. For instants, I buy whole-wheat pizza crust dough from Trader Joe's and divide it into single servings (and freeze the rest for later). I make my own pizzas, and that way I don't blow my calories for the day. i believe in working smarter, not harder when it comes to weight loss.

FlaxMilk

I'd rather let something control me than hurt me, if it came down to that choice (abstain or binge).

It's not, though. That's a false dichotomy. Abstaining from something because you would binge otherwise gives that thing an enormous amount of power over you. I think that giving yourself the freedom to do [ill-advised thing] if you really, really want to takes away that power, which might lead to what is in effect abstention, but because you've chosen it, not because you've designated the thing you can't have as bad and forbidden. I think that making things bad and forbidden leads to fixation on those things and leads to the disordered all-or-none approach to it. I don't think that's a good way to live.

It may be a false dichotomy in your life. In the life of someone who is severely obese and can't manage not to binge on certain foods, those foods hurt them and their health. In the life of someone who is not even overweight but feels out of control around certain foods, it's not a false dichotomy. If someone is pining away for a certain food, nonstop thinking about it, that's a problem. But me just not keeping bread like foods around? So what. It's not killing me, and I'm running my life and health just fine. I don't need to be "better than" some food. I don't need to feel as if I maintain complete control of everything around me. I don't. Not with food, not with other people, not with the weather. I don't feel that bread has an enormous amount of control over me by choosing not to keep it around. Even if it did, so? It's not telling me I can't leave the house in that skirt or go to work or have friends.

jennifersmiles444

At home, there are certain things I just can't have around or I will find myself trying to fit another serving...or another serving...or another serving...into my daily calorie intake. That means at the end of the day, I haven't left enough room for nutritious foods I need for protein, etc.. I do much better when the trigger foods aren't there at all.

When out with family or friends, I can do the moderation thing. I have been on diets which were so limiting that going out to eat was a miserable experience for everyone. I was bitter because I couldn't eat anything tasty, and other people felt guilty eating it in front of me. I can remember my daughter saying, "No, let's don't go to that restaurant because mom can't have anything on the menu." MFP has taught me that I can eat out (once in a while) without drawing attention to the fact that I'm watching my calories. I can get something really tasty and just eat some it, if the portion is huge. And if Grandmom bakes a special treat, she won't notice if I don't eat every bite of the serving on my plate...but she'll feel badly if I tell her I can't eat it at all.

55in13

I do no weekday work snacks and only eat a light breakfast and light lunch; no exceptions. In the past I tried the 100 calorie snacks, allowing myself a bad lunch a week, etc. It always got out of hand.

fitnotfat12

Oh man, I agree with you so totally! Same thing applies to me! A slightly different situation would be my two pregnancies! I'm a coffee drinker and love the taste! With my first pregnancy I avoided coffee totally until the third trimester and then I had a few cups in the last few months, my second we found that coffee helped with my severe morning sickness and I was given the ok to drink two cups a day! I STRUGGLED to only have the two cups and failed several times! Not having it at all was SO much easier! Now I'm applying that to junk food and the like! I also just found out that my baby can't tolerate dairy in my breastmilk, I thought that giving up dairy would be SO hard! But again, saying no to it all is not that hard! Not to mention, I know that it will really affect my baby so that's an added incentive to stay strong! I think you're right in saying it works for some people and not for others!

greenmonstergirl

I am an all or nothing person. I must not have anything bad to eat or I will fall off the wagon. I don't want just one cookie, I want 30 (gee, that's how I got fat to begin with), so it's better for me to just not have one. When I set my mind up to lose weight, I put in 100%, I work out like crazy (2 or 3 times a DAY...not per week!) and I am very strict with my diet. I'd rather see results fairly quickly. If I only lost 20 pounds in a year, yeah, that's not enough for me. I lost 25 in 2012 and I really didn't feel like I lost much at all at the end of that year. Since March I've lost 27 and that's the type of results I really want to see so I'm willing to put forth the effort and it's not like I'm going to die without eating a cookie so it's worth it for me to be so strict.

Others can do it differently and have their loss of weight still getting to have sweets or foods they love. It just depends what kind of personality you have.

MochaMama0205

All or nothing. Absolutely cut out whatever your triggers are... Cut them out COMPLETELY.

BUT, I say only cut them out COMPLETELY for a few phases while you're trying to get healthier, lose weight, & get trimmer. Once you're ready for maintenance, THEN moderation is an option again. That is what has always worked for me, anyway...

Francl27

My big issue with abstinence is that it's not realistic to avoid something all your life, and you're so much more likely to binge next time you have some. That's how so many people can't maintain their weight... they just start eating everything again and never learned moderation, so they just gain the weight back.

jinna86

From all the posts I'm reading, whether one is an abstainer or is moderate, it seems to depend on whether one feels a sense of deprivation. It looks to me like abstainers and moderates who are successful both focus on what they can have, rather than what they can't have. My diet at the moment (if you just glimpsed at my diary) looks pretty strict, but I would consider myself moderate, because to handle the feelings of deprivation, it's important to tell myself that I can have anything I want.

Plus, for me, healthy substitutions and alternatives make a big difference (such as homemade chocolate bars vs packaged chocolate bars)

EmmaKarney

I don't 100% ban myself from eating foods, like EVER AGAIN....but certain foods are not in my regular diet and re reserved for high days and holidays or if someone else is cooking for me and it would be rude to refuse a dessert or cheese.

I don't feel like I am "denying" myself anything - I eat extremely well and I feel healthier for cutting out some foods form my regular diet. I get the same, if not more pleasure for replacing empty calorie for more nutritious options.

Yesterday I ate some chocolate and I found it so sweet and not as satisfying as I thought I would and I honestly regretted wasting the calories. I guess I have just re-trained my palette.

missybct

It is different for each individual.

Personally, I advocate the "nothing is off limit" approach; if I want it, I will have it. The moment I deny myself the opportunity to have something, whether it is food, drink or an item of clothing, I will want it with a burning passion and end up binging on it.

This took me ages to understand, and I'm not saying it is the right or wrong way - what works for me may not work for another. But I would rather lose less weight per month and actually be able to relax (do not read that as "cheating" - I've remained under my calories for over 60 days) than preventing myself from socialising (for example). Because, after you've lost weight - then what? Are you going to carry on denying yourself that food or drink? Probably not - it's rare that we can completely exclude an item of food or drink from our diet unless we are allergic or have medical reasons. Combine that with the fact that food may have been your downfall, and you'll crave it like nothing else.

It really does depend on mindset though - I have a square of chocolate each day - dark chocolate with mint, and that satisfies my craving for sugar and do not eat anymore unless I can justify it.

AlongCame_Molly

Wtf is "abstention"?

susannamarie

I have tried to be moderate with soda, and it has just not worked.

My new rule is 'Only when driving more than ten hours in one day, and only buying enough for the road. No more cases.'

EmmaKarney

Because, after you've lost weight - then what? Are you going to carry on denying yourself that food or drink?

Actually yes, because maintenance is no different from losing - except you get a slightly higher calorie goal per day. I am only on a modest deficit so when I get to maintenance my diet will be the same as it is now except slightly larger portions.