Women dating younger men

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  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
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    My situation is reversed I'm 24 years old and my husband is 57 years old. Marrying him was the best decision I ever made. We have so much in common have so much fun together and age is not an issue in the slightest. We don't even think about it.

    Before I met my husband I dated older men in general because their maturity appealed to me. Once dated someone a year younger and he put me off dating younger men completely lol. But luckily if that hadn't gone tits up (pardon the language lol) I would never have met my husband :happy: he's the best thing ever :love:

    THIS!!!!!
    And I usually get the most dirty looks from women his age, which incidentally happen to have a man my age in tow...so its like ok lady, why give me the hairy eyeball when you're with a man my age?? This happened when we were out to dinner one day.

    There's just something awesome about their stability and the fact that they know what they want and don't have to prove anything anymore.
  • kappyblu
    kappyblu Posts: 654 Member
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    Little back story first: my ex-husband who is my age, 40, is getting remarried. His fiancee is 23 years old. I admit it bugged me at first, but what he does in his personal life is none of my concern, so I have moved past that. I just want her to be good to my children.

    But it got me thinking that when a man dates a much younger woman, it usually isn't considered a big deal as long as she's legal. But when a woman dates a younger man, she's a cougar, milf, or whatever unflattering name she is called.

    Ironically, there is a man who is 16 years my junior that I am attracted to, but I haven't acted on those feelings because of the age difference. Am I making a mistake here?

    So what is your opinion of women dating younger men or men dating older women? Any experiences or advice you would like to share? :flowerforyou:

    Age is a state of mind. If you do this because of a geniune attraction and not to "get even", you have Uncle Tom's blessing my child.

    Tom

    :smile:

    Thank you Tom. It is definitely a genuine attraction. It never even occurred to me to date him to get even with my ex. All of that drama between my ex and I has been over with for years. Been divorced for almost 6 years now. :drinker:
  • volleypc
    volleypc Posts: 134 Member
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    I don't think age should matter if the maturity level is there, and you guys have a connection. I'm 13 years younger than my hunni and we have a wonderful relationship. I know that's different because he's the older one, but it shouldn't be. Who cares what anyone thinks? All that matters is what you think and that you're happy.

    X2
  • nas24
    nas24 Posts: 880 Member
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    Age is just a number and i dont see a problem. That being said, i couldn't be with someone more than a year younger than me. Just not my thing.
  • Pookylou
    Pookylou Posts: 988 Member
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    Little back story first: my ex-husband who is my age, 40, is getting remarried. His fiancee is 23 years old. I admit it bugged me at first, but what he does in his personal life is none of my concern, so I have moved past that. I just want her to be good to my children.

    But it got me thinking that when a man dates a much younger woman, it usually isn't considered a big deal as long as she's legal. But when a woman dates a younger man, she's a cougar, milf, or whatever unflattering name she is called.

    Ironically, there is a man who is 16 years my junior that I am attracted to, but I haven't acted on those feelings because of the age difference. Am I making a mistake here?

    So what is your opinion of women dating younger men or men dating older women? Any experiences or advice you would like to share? :flowerforyou:

    I, personally, think it's disgusting, but that's just my opinion. You should do whatever will make you happy.

    The only question I would have is this (and one of my main reasons for feeling the way I do)... what happens when this 24 year old boy decides he wants to have BIOLOGICAL children and because you're past your child bearing years you are unable to fulfill that?

    Because EVERYONE wants to have children of course..............

    I didn't say everyone does... it was a "what if" kind of thing. I understand not EVERYONE needs or wants to have children. I get that. But if you're 24 and she's 40 he doesn't even get a fighting chance (at least not without serious risks)

    But I'd like to think before entering a serious relationship with someone you'd discuss the idea of children/marriage/religion all the big stuff, if it is SUCH a stumbling block you wouldn't get involved further/stay together. I have friends of varying ages who do not want to have children, if that is the case you find a partner with similar iedas. Or you adopt, or foster, or try IVF or surroagacy.
  • Excellentia
    Excellentia Posts: 182
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    I say GO FOR IT! My husband is 7 years younger than me and there were some initial challenges we faced due to the age difference, but it's all good now and the children are closer to my husband than they are their dad.

    In December it'll be 10 years for us. Have we ever gotten dirty looks? PLENTY! And life goes on... :wink:
  • Boomer1946
    Boomer1946 Posts: 124
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    Age is a state of mind. If you do this because of a geniune attraction and not to "get even", you have Uncle Tom's blessing my child.

    Tom

    :smile:
    [/quote]

    Thank you Tom. It is definitely a genuine attraction. It never even occurred to me to date him to get even with my ex. All of that drama between my ex and I has been over with for years. Been divorced for almost 6 years now. :drinker:
    [/quote]

    Your life, your business! All the best to you sweetie.

    :smile:
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
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    Little back story first: my ex-husband who is my age, 40, is getting remarried. His fiancee is 23 years old. I admit it bugged me at first, but what he does in his personal life is none of my concern, so I have moved past that. I just want her to be good to my children.

    But it got me thinking that when a man dates a much younger woman, it usually isn't considered a big deal as long as she's legal. But when a woman dates a younger man, she's a cougar, milf, or whatever unflattering name she is called.

    Ironically, there is a man who is 16 years my junior that I am attracted to, but I haven't acted on those feelings because of the age difference. Am I making a mistake here?

    So what is your opinion of women dating younger men or men dating older women? Any experiences or advice you would like to share? :flowerforyou:


    I say act on it. While I, myself, aren't attracted to younger men, if this was me I'd go for it. Don't have regrets later. You never know what can happen. Forget all the negativity and let yourself be happy.
    Age is nothing but a number.
  • tsaarloos
    tsaarloos Posts: 58 Member
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    I was with a man 5 years younger than me for 5 years. We had a great relationship and the sex was great!! (TMI, sorry!!)

    I say go for it! And JMO, a 40 year old man who would be with a 23 year old obviously doesn't think he can impress a woman who is a bit more worldly and well rounded. It could also show that he has a controlling personality and knows he can't control a peer. And finally, it's creepy. LOL! JMO, hope I didn't hurt any feelings.

    Ha! Love this answer, I agree - Nothing wrong with it as far as I can see, I'd be thrilled if there was a man 16 yrs my junior was interested in me (except I'm married so it would only be an ego boost). Go for it
  • charkastner
    charkastner Posts: 3
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    I agree with Candycor. It's not always about the children aspect. Alot of younger men are finding that they don't want to have children. My husband and I had to sit down and have that very discussion, it was kind of a deal breaker. We decided MUTUALLY not to have any kids, so I had my tubes tied. He offered to get a Vasectomy but I told him no he was too young, that if he decided he wanted kids and to be with someone else, then at least he has that opportunity.

    If you're going to go into a relationship where there is a age difference, there needs to be talks about what you both equally want out it. It's going to be tough sometimes, and some people may judge you, but in the long run.... if you both love each other and want to be together, then be together, who cares what anyone else thinks.
  • raiderrodney
    raiderrodney Posts: 617 Member
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    After 21, age is just a number ;)

    One of my very best friends from high school is getting married this weekend to a guy that's 21. She is 38, same as me. They get along as good as anyone I know that has a healthy and happy relationship. It is HARD to find that special someone in life...I wouldn't let age stand in my way.
  • deadstarsunburn
    deadstarsunburn Posts: 1,337 Member
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    I'd date one for the ego boost, but seriously, how much would you really have in common with someone who was born when you were in high school?
    I agree with this and the maturity level could be an issue, for me anyway I just wouldn't want to date someone so much younger.
    However who is anyone to tell you who you can and can't date?
    Do what makes you and the other person happy, as long as they aren't a minor it really doesn't seem like an issue.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    My boyfriend is slightly over a year younger, which probably isn't that big of a deal to most people here. But there was a time in my life when I thought I'd never date anyone younger than I am. I always thought I was too serious to be able to deal with what I presumed would be a lack of maturity with a younger guy. Now that I'm nearly 30, though, I appreciate brief interludes of immaturity and inappropriateness. It reminds me that life is more fun when you allow yourself to laugh about something silly with a person you care about.

    As long as he is responsible (i.e. he has a job, he can pay his bills, and he can take care of himself), your personalities mesh, and the two of you are on the same page as far as what you want out of life (marriage, kids, careers, etc.), I don't think age should be a dealbreaker.
  • kappyblu
    kappyblu Posts: 654 Member
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    My fella is mentally 12 does this count?

    I don't think age should matter

    :laugh: Thanks for that!! :flowerforyou:
  • pamwil88
    pamwil88 Posts: 24
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    I would not date a much younger man because I have a 21 year old daughter. That would be kind of awkward for her because they would be too close in age.
  • queenpushycat
    queenpushycat Posts: 761 Member
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    i don't mind dating any age of men as long as they are mature and responsible enough. My bf is 2 years younger and he still ..... okay i'll stop here. lol
  • Dimplybutt
    Dimplybutt Posts: 123 Member
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    As a guy, I would say it really comes down more to what you two share feelings wise and what you are looking for out of it. There is no reason to limit yourself because of an arbitrary number that you think society may or may not find acceptable. If you two date and are happy, more power to you, end of story. Don't get caught up on if 4 years or 6 years or whatever is too much, just live life to the fullest that you can.

    100% this! Who cares how many years difference you are as long as you are happy. There is nothing wrong, creepy, weird, etc about a relationship where the age is questioned by others ... who cares about the others as long as he makes you happy and you make him happy (and that goes for your ex as well). :wink:

    There is so much in life that can bring you down, so many people in the world that want to cause you pain ... being with someone who brings you happiness and joy shouldn't be looked down upon just because they are X-number of years older or younger than you. :smile: If there is a connection, what does it hurt to check it out? And maturity is relative to the relationship & each individual, not the number in their age. :laugh:
  • kappyblu
    kappyblu Posts: 654 Member
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    Thank you so much everyone for all your replies.:flowerforyou: I love the MFP community!! I knew I would get a wide range of opinions here and it has been very helpful.

    I have decided I am going to let my attraction to him show (just a little bit) and see how it goes. :bigsmile: :tongue:
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
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    My boyfriend is 11 years younger than me. I'm 53 and he is 42. What do we have in common?!?!? We are both mature, responsible grown adults!!!!!! Neither one of us likes the party atmosphere, we are both really active, we like the same kind of movies, we love to travel and go sight seeing, we're foodies and enjoy good restaurants, we love good conversation and a glass of wine or a good martini, we actually grew up in the same town just block apart from each other and went to the same High School (11 years apart fro one another lol), and although we are both very family orientated we now live a 'no kids lifestyle'.....my kids are successful grown and out of the house and at his age he is not interested in starting a family. Someday will get to share in the joy of having grandkids together!

    So I think if the maturity level of each person is on the same wave length a relationship with a big age difference will work!!!
  • 10acity
    10acity Posts: 798 Member
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    The relationship never became "serious" because he did not think that someone in their late 20s should "have to" take care of a spouse who was much older (in this case, by 35 years), nor did he think it was fair to set me up to be a widow at a young age, but we remain friends.
    I tend to be attracted to older men, and this is the one major concern that always crosses my mind. I've yet to be in a situation where I had to make the decision of whether or not I wanted to marry an older man, but you can bet this would weigh heavily.

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