Is it ok for a woman..........

cadaverousbones

I would say that if she knows it makes you uncomfortable and does it anyway, thats a little harsh. But if they have been friends for 14 years than its unreasonable to tell her she can't talk to him. Does she hide her text from him and keep their relationship private or is she open about it? Maybe you and the dude can plan like a man date to get to know each other better. I think its rude of her to tell you not to talk to your old gal pals but its okay for her to talk to her guy pals. I don't know if you have resolved this issue yet, but good luck!

warmachinejt

i'll stop talking to her on the phone if it bothers you.

Nailrep

No married woman should take that much time away from her husband and give it to another man, unless that man is her father.

momjmd

I think it goes both ways.... I don't talk to guys that make my husband uncomfortable and he doesn't talk to other ladies... it has nothing to do with the ability to go hang out with friends- that much communication with a member of the opposite sex is just asking for trouble.

mrsnathanandrew

I'm very much a believer that people of the opposite sex can be just friends, but there is something wrong with that....very, very, very wrong...

katieelizabeth827

Something totally seems off here. I think that people of the opposite sex can be just friends, but when she knows her behavior is bothering you and yet she continues to do it, that's just not okay. The fact that she is constantly talking to this guy is a bit odd. Their conversations could be completely innocent, but the fact that you can't talk to old friends and yet she can is just so unfair.

brittany17love

Install a tracking device on her phone, many apps for that! Anywhoo... I did that with my friend Gage and had no interest in him. But he did live in another state, where I was born.

Listen in on her convos if possible. But you got to do something for sure especially if she has a history with him.

GinaKurtz

Coming from a happily married woman (8+ years)....I say no, it's not okay. I say this because there is such as thing as an emotional affair...nothing physical has to happen, but when two people become close like this....it's dangerous & playing with fire. Turn the tables...reverse the roles. Ask her how she'd feel if you'd spent time talking to another woman like this...

Just sayin...

tlafrance

Is this for real? Yes, there is something wrong with a married woman spending hours and hours talking on the phone to another man.

And vice verse...

Totally agree! Yes it is wrong.

lupa01

In my personal opinion I am going to say HELL NO, but as a married woman, I am going to say that you two are lacking geniune communication, meaning you need to keep it real with each other. I can't judge her, but at the same time, I wouldn't want my husband talking to another woman for hours at a time, and I can't imagine any other woman being ok with that either. I'm ok with friends of the opposite sex but you have to draw the line somewhere. I hope you two can work things out. Blessings to you!:flowerforyou:

Yellabutterfly05

That sounds shady to me. And especially the fact that she doesn't care you AREN'T ok with it. Even girls don't talk to their girlfriends that much.

Especially if there are children in the household....Good luck.

PittShkr

Is it ok for a woman to talk on the phone to a guy for three hours if she is married? and talk to him for an hour here and an hour there and txt him at 1030 at night? Is it being unsupportive to be uncomfortable with that and saying how you feel about it? I am curious. WHat everyones opinion is on it. Even if she says you can go do whatever and then brings up the fact that she is supportive of me cause she lets me hang with the guys every other weekend at his house playing Dungeons and Dragons, yes I said I am a role player. Please Id like the opinions of everyone. Thanks

Well shes cheating on you! while your playing with your wand shes playing with someone elses wand... a magic wand with great power!

donjoe1024

Thanks for all the support and comments you guys are awesome

bull_dog44

Is it ok for a woman to talk on the phone to a guy for three hours if she is married? and talk to him for an hour here and an hour there and txt him at 1030 at night? Is it being unsupportive to be uncomfortable with that and saying how you feel about it? I am curious. WHat everyones opinion is on it. Even if she says you can go do whatever and then brings up the fact that she is supportive of me cause she lets me hang with the guys every other weekend at his house playing Dungeons and Dragons, yes I said I am a role player. Please Id like the opinions of everyone. Thanks

Dude....Shady. I'd handle that real quick.

Salamanda425

I call my male friend every single night. We were friends long before I got married. At first, my husband had real issues with it. We ended up in seeing a counselor about it. We got to the bottom of the insecurity issue, and now my husband can see past the jealousy he had before, and now he and my guy friend are great friends too. They even hang out w/o me sometimes! (now in my defense, my best buddy there is 26 years older than me too, so to me, he's more like having a dad than a potential lover! Perhaps you guys should see a counselor as well!)

AshQuill

You get to play D&D every other weekend!!! That rocks.

. . .

Just kidding, I would never leave a D&D game just to check out of my SO is cheating. that is just crazy talk.

This cracked me up.

I'm with the group that says If she stays in the room you are most likely ok.

Otherwise . . .

jenbk2

Here is a funny story- well not funny- but interesting,
As I have stated in previous posts my neighbor is cheatin on her husband. One night she tells her husband she is going to her girlfriends house. Swears she is not going to her BF's house. About 5 min after she leaves he goes and drives by her BF's house. Low and behold her car is at his house. He takes a picture, sends it to her and said you are lying AGAIN. SHE texts him back and says "Well obviously this isn't going to work, you don't trust me." WHAT ?!?!? You flat out lied ! That is how women play these games. They turn it on the person they are cheating on- it is their fault.

quiescentaureateserpent

Install a tracking device on her phone, many apps for that! Anywhoo... I did that with my friend Gage and had no interest in him. But he did live in another state, where I was born.

Listen in on her convos if possible. But you got to do something for sure especially if she has a history with him.

Yes this is a fabulous idea. Why don't we all do this so that any insecurities that we have can be dealt with through the power of big brother. Oh and why not hire one of those companies that is sending out pilot-less drones to monitor the American public except hire them to follow your partner just to make sure. You know. Just to make sure he is not breathing near another woman. That he shows not attention to anything but work and ME. Yes please oh also I would just in case look into getting one of those ankle bands that will tell ME where my partner is at all times as well. Because I am a very secure female of the human species that simply wants to make sure that my partner is faithful and safe. That he is using all of his energy making ME happy. Making sure that when he says he is going to work that he is and comes home to ME. That if he says his mother called him I can make double sure that he did. So that I do not feel threatened in any way possible.

Oh and also without telling him I would make sure to get him one of those RFID chips implanted in his as well. Perhaps a body scanner or hire a forensic specialist to examine his clothing every single night to make sure that there are no female particles on him except MINE. SO that if they find a skin cell from a coworker I can throw an immature insecure hissy fit and then drive like the maniacal control freak that I am to his work and kick her *kitten* for daring to work in the same building as MY partner.

I will expect him to spend all of his time with ME and make sure that he tells ME that he loves ME several times a day. This is a healthy relationship don't you think?


Or you could just grow up and talk to him.

k8blujay2

To be honest, I didn't read past the first page... but here is my take... it's one thing to be supportive of her shoe addicition or quilting circle... or hell even paintball tourneys... or something along the lines of hobbies and clubs... it's another thing to be supportive of her talking to a man for hours on end...

I say this as a married woman. Personally, I believe there is something fishy about a woman that talks to a man (who is not her husband... or let's stretch it out here... related to her in any way) for hours and then tries to justify it by saying that well it's ok because she is supportive of you partcipating in your clubs and hobbies....

Sorry, but participating in a club or hobby is not the same thing as having a relationship (whether it's sexual in nature or not) with someone who is not your spouse.

k8blujay2

Here is a funny story- well not funny- but interesting,
As I have stated in previous posts my neighbor is cheatin on her husband. One night she tells her husband she is going to her girlfriends house. Swears she is not going to her BF's house. About 5 min after she leaves he goes and drives by her BF's house. Low and behold her car is at his house. He takes a picture, sends it to her and said you are lying AGAIN. SHE texts him back and says "Well obviously this isn't going to work, you don't trust me." WHAT ?!?!? You flat out lied ! That is how women play these games. They turn it on the person they are cheating on- it is their fault.

I think cheaters in general do this... not just women that cheat.

fatgirlslove

I don't think it's appropriate...I'd feel some sort of way about it.

jean1058

it seems odd to me. but what are they talking about anyways?? I dont even talk to my husband that long on the phone, about anything. I would just dig a bit deeper by saying "so i notice you talk to "blah blah" a lot. Whats up with that? What yall talking about?"

I'm laughing as I read this.... Heck, I don't even talk to my husband that long IN PERSON. What ARE they talking about? Sheesh.

KWNurse

Only if he is her brother or father. Of course married women can have male friends, but hours on the phone every week?

tennisbabe94

That's not right... You need to talk to her about this. Make your thoughts clear to her.

treetpflyer

She needs to be an open book to you and allow you to see the texts she is sending and receiving from this "friend". I am pretty certain you have the makings of an affair there and she wishes you would go do "whatever" to justify her messing around. Been there done that. Call it what it is.

NormalSaneFLGuy

all I'm gonna say is, I know she's your wife, but you best start wearing condoms...

AwesomePossum82

Would my Husband and I allow that in our marriage?! No. There is a very fine line that neither of us want to even come close to. If you're uncomfortable with it....let her know. She should be considerate of your feelings.

zCarsAndCaloriesz

In that case I would talk to her about it, because it would make me feel uncomfortable as well. On the other hand, I would also let her know you don't mind that she has friends, and that she likes to talk to them, that it's just the amount of time she seems to spend doing it that bugs you.


Because even if you're married, she is still a person who has the right to choose who she wishes to be friends with, male or female. It's her right to talk to who she likes.

redredy9

I don't think I would be comfortable with it my relationship. I think its a definite red flag that something is wrong whether she has cheated yet or not. Maybe you could ask her what you could do to improve your relationship and ask if she would be able to rededicate some of the time to your own relationship.

Also: who talks to ANYBODY for 3 hours a day on the phone?!?! !:noway:

RealWomenLovePitbulls

if she is not trying to be sneaky about the conversations, and has them in front of her husband, it is probably nothing technically wrong... i mean is this guy a long term friend, bff, or whatever or he he someone new in her life?? I personally think it is a little bit strange to talk to anyone for that long, but that's just me. I don't think I would have anything to talk about for that amount of time.