Corn used my man-parts as a speedbag.

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  • wackyfunster
    wackyfunster Posts: 944 Member
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    I'm just here for "Wizard Watch Twenty-Twelve."
    Seems like there are wizards and unicorns EVERYWHERE on these forums!
  • momto1g1b
    momto1g1b Posts: 118 Member
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    Original Thread was created by Sidesteal

    Now that I have your attention -

    Every so often I'll make one of these random bits of info. How about now.


    You don't need to eat clean.
    You don't need to avoid white bread or potatoes or beans or rice or _____________ (insert food here) unless you've got an intolerance/allergy/medical condition.
    You don't need to eat breakfast to get your metabolism started.
    You probably don't need to pay any attention to GI.
    Your metabolism doesn't get kick-started and you don't rev it up.
    Eating frequently is fine but it doesn't "boost your metabolism".
    Don't waste your money on Raspberry Keytones and you should probably turn off Dr. Oz.
    You are not toning.
    You will not bulk up, ladies.
    You also don't "gain muscle really easily". Yes, YOU.
    Low carbing is not dangerous.
    Low carbing is not metabolically superior.
    You can eat food before bed.
    You can eat food IN bed.
    There is no specific time at which eating will cause you to gain fat.
    The little pink dumbbells do not constitute "lifting weights".
    That glass of blended up "juice" that you're replacing your meals with, probably isn't "cleansing" any "toxins".
    "Hot Pants" don't make you lose fat, although they may make your wallet lighter.
    You don't need to burn off that bowl of cereal or piece of chicken.
    You don't need to worry about whether you're burning carbs or fat.
    You don't need to worry about how much fat you burned during your workout, or how much muscle you gained during that set of bosu-ball dumbbell flies.
    You don't "shock your body"
    You don't "confuse your mucles"
    Stop switching up your lifting program. How about stick to something and add weight to the bar.
    Just because you saw it in a documentary doesn't mean it's a good idea or even remotely research-based.
    You don't need to zig-zag or carb cycle or do the 17 day butt wash or the cabbage donkey stew diet.
    2 weeks is not a plateau.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Start here:
    1) Eat within a reasonable caloric intake for your goals.
    2) Consume adequate protein and fat.
    3) Consume at least enough carbs to allow you to train with intensity.

    (And can you just use some common sense with food selection?)

    4) Lift weights
    5) Get rest.
    6) Repeat
    7) And quit worrying about all the other crap.



    Be patient.

    Best post I've seen in a long time :drinker:
  • tenunderfour
    tenunderfour Posts: 429 Member
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    This thread is made of awesome. :love:
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
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    I was partying all by myself by the time I realized everybody moved over here. :drinker:
  • christinastokes3
    christinastokes3 Posts: 36 Member
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    I like this!
  • Songtothesiren
    Songtothesiren Posts: 388 Member
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    This advice is So True! I really wished I realised it a lifetime ago before entering the world of "Pay As You Weigh" dieting.

    I've finally really got the message .... if I eat less rubbish and spend calories wisely, then exercise more amazingly I lose weight. Not only that the MFP app was free!!!!

    So, from a woman who thought that operating the remote control for the TV qualified as a high intensity workout, listen to the man for he speaketh the truth.

    Mavis :happy:
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
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    I was partying all by myself by the time I realized everybody moved over here. :drinker:

    Welcome back. We saved you a seat.
  • LottieLou13
    LottieLou13 Posts: 574 Member
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    Bump
  • Shrinking_Stacey
    Shrinking_Stacey Posts: 100
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    I don't understand your topic title. If it's funny, I've missed it. But, that's half the amusement

    A speed bag is those things that boxers use. They punch it really fast as it dangles to and fro. When I wrote this, I wanted everyone to close their eyes and imagine a cob of corn with fists, doing a rope-a-dope on my man bag. That's basically what it meant. If you don't find it funny, it's either that it's not funny, or that I'm 13 years old between the ears, or both.
    Thank you, for your well-stated dose of common sense. The long list of excuses and weird remedies boggle the mind, these days. I hope many read your list, and smile sheepishly, and admit, "maybe I've been a bit extreme/silly/gullible".

    Did I read correctly? You've lost over 100 pounds??

    Sublog (who kindly bumped this to a second thread) HAS indeed lost over 100lbs, and not only that but he knows his stuff when it comes to nutrition.

    Reading this thread seriously made me laugh! I can relate to your humor:)
  • Anayalata
    Anayalata Posts: 391 Member
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    The thread title made me think of a kernel of corn somehow working its way down your digestive tract and somehow getting into your blood stream and then into your urinary tract and then somehow down into your testicles where it wreaked havoc and you eventually lost a ball.

    ... :)

    By the way... Excellent information.
  • TinaS88
    TinaS88 Posts: 817 Member
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    Great post!!

    Nice relief at that. All the "information" and "tips" floating around are enough to drive me crazy!
  • AnvilHead
    AnvilHead Posts: 18,344 Member
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    In on v2.0. Awesome post which deserves perpetual bumpage. Maybe it should be linked for reference in every thread where some genius starts babbling broscience garbage.
  • mmapags
    mmapags Posts: 8,934 Member
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    In on v2.0. Awesome post which deserves perpetual bumpage. Maybe it should be linked for reference in every thread where some genius starts babbling broscience garbage.

    Bro, that'd be a full time job lately!
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    I was partying all by myself by the time I realized everybody moved over here. :drinker:

    Welcome back. We saved you a seat.

    Always a seat for Tiger!
  • wheezybreezy
    wheezybreezy Posts: 315 Member
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    Love this!
  • rtwinrn06
    rtwinrn06 Posts: 51 Member
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    bump
  • AnvilHead
    AnvilHead Posts: 18,344 Member
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    ...oh, and I'm still waiting for the poster who thinks that some of those points are incorrect. Should be an interesting discussion. :)
  • Aleluya17
    Aleluya17 Posts: 205 Member
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    I like this 99.95%, the only reason it's not 100% is I don't want my husband making a crumbfest in the the bed. Nobody like sleeping on potato chip crumbs!
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    ...oh, and I'm still waiting for the poster who thinks that some of those points are incorrect. Should be an interesting discussion. :)

    Read the first part.

    Trust me...there was plenty of 'discussion'.
  • Sublog
    Sublog Posts: 1,296 Member
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    Friendly bump to this thread. It may be the best.post.ever!!!

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