How old were you when you had kids?

saxmaniac

My wife was about 26 or so. We had been trying for a few years - nature does not always cooperate when you want it to. Take your time, but be careful about waiting too long and assuming it will always be easy!

I'm glad we did it young. Being mid-50s when kids are teenagers sounds really tiring.

Argharna15

Had my 1st at 19, 2nd at 25, 3rd at 27. I do wish at time I had of waited. I was to young when I had my 1st my parents took care of him more then I did hes now 13 and we dont have a very good relationship.

kymillion

. I was 20 when I had my daughter .. 21 when I had my son.

I am thankful that I had them @ a young age, its not for everyone .. I didn't have a support network.. my family aside from brother had all "past.."

in a way they were anchors to keep me from going off the deep end and from being too rebellious in the light of being almost entirely orphaned..

otherwise I would have traveled...been wild and necklace .. I am now also the mother of 4 others their ages all together are 16,15 ,8,7 , 4 and 2 * never a dull moment ..* the eldest is a girl the rest are boys..

I wouldn't change a single thing, my only regret is the inability to travel with them as much as i would like ..

wait....if that's what you want to do.

As much as devoting my life to them has been a blessing I am truly a gypsy at heart .. I have to stay grounded for them ...but I would not have minded being able to just experience life on my own without the added dynamic of children right away.....

it just wasn't in the cards for me. Its not really a decision that anyone can make for you.. stand behind whatever you choose and live life to its fullest .

tigerlily8045

31 when my daughter was born. I wish that I would have had her say 27ish. We were not in a position to have a 2nd right away so she will be an only because I am too settled in my ways.

chachita7

I had just turned 19 when I had my son and turned 21 5 days after having my daughter...

Il_DaniD_lI

I was 20, and it was not on purpose. I recommend waiting until you're at least 25.

secondchance82

I had my children at 23, 24, and 26. Age DOES play a role, but so does maturity. I was married to my teenage sweetheart, and we divorced and the only thing I regret is having the children with my ex. I wish I would have waited later on in life (I'll be 30 this year) and had them with my current husband.

My husband had his one and only child when he was 19. We both wish we would have waited as well...especially since I cannot give him more children, and due to our circumstances...it would be very foolish even if we tried having more babies. So it's a blessing in disguise.

Neize

I was 27 when I had my son and 31 when I had my daughter... For me that was the best time because I got all of my wild days out of my system.

Josie_lifting_cats

I felt this way when I was 21. Then I realized it was where I lived - I had grown up in a suburb, but moved to a rural area during high school. In the rural area, everyone was having kids. As I started to connect with more of my suburb friends (thank you Facebook!) I realized that this was a local thing. My suburbian friends were in college, starting careers, not married, many not even in serious relationships.

I can honestly say it will get worse every year. More and more people will have kids, and while it feels like "everyone" right now, it will really feel like everyone two years from now.... and then two years from that. But we waited until I was ready (he was totally ready at like 20. Me, not so much) and had my son at 26, my daughter at 28. I think that was a pretty good age. Although I did feel like I was far more tired with my newborn daughter than my newborn son, but I was working, going to nursing school full time and taking care of two kids.... so maybe that was it.

nifer1029

I am 37 and just had my first. Not only am I in a much better place financially and emotionally than I was when I was younger, I also got to enjoy my youth without having the responsibility of being a parent. Not that you can't enjoy yourself as a parent, but it does change EVERYTHING. You no longer come first and you will have no expendable income.

My 3 pieces of advice for people your age:

1. Enjoy your youth. It really does not last forvever.
2. You are not as fat as you think you are.
3. Put 10% of your paycheck into savings or some sort of investment account. And do not touch it. Really. I mean this. If I knew 10, even 5 years ago that I could budget the way I have to now, and had done it... My son would have quite the college fund and I would have a nice retirement fund. If you do this now, the amount of money you will have saved by the time you are my age will seem very monumental when you do decide to have a child.

tishajo

I was 25 when I gave birth to my son. No regrets, whatsoever. It's more difficult to find time for school but I have a great support system so I can be a momma and finish my degree. Also I'm glad I had my son when I did. He will be 18 when I'm 43. So I actually prefer this instead of chasing around a toddler while I'm in my 40's. I want to enjoy my older years too. :drinker: As previously stated, it's a matter of preference.

fit4lyfeLisa

I had my son when I was 17, and my daughter when I was 24. I'm 41, and my kids are now 23 and 16. Yes it was worth it, and if I had to do it all over again I would.

Josie_lifting_cats

I was 20, and it was not on purpose. I recommend waiting until you're at least 25.

I think you'd agree that you change a LOT between 20 and 25. Maturity is not just a switch flipped on at 18. I think this is a good recommendation.

marieautumn

I was 20 when i had my son, and i would suggest you not having kids until you get married or are older. a boyfriend isnt a forever thing, especially if you are 21.
don't get me wrong, i love my life and i don't think i would have had the success in life i've had if i didnt have a child to support to motivate me, but not everyone sees a child as a reason to change their life. and thats a big gamble to make, when you have another life that depends on you.

MustBeTheRows

18 & 21

ladybg81

27. I am glad I waited because I was always so selfish and would not have been a good mom until now. I am much better prepared "in my old age" than I was when I was in my early twenties.

Tonnina

My mom was 20 when she had me, a month before her 21st birthday... She was 18 when she had my brother, 2 months before her 19th birthday. She was 26 when she had my sister.

Me? Oh I'm 23 and only have two gerbils. My husband is 28. We are planning on having kids after we both finish school, buy a house, and are comfortable. Hopefully when I'm 28-32. I know that makes me kind of "old" to be a mom, but HIS adoptive parents tried for years, couldn't conceive, adopted him and then had 2 of their own. They are in their 60's now with their youngest being 24, middle is 26 and my hubby, 28. Now my hubby's birth mom... She was 14 so you can understand why she gave him up.

Now, there is NOTHING wrong with waiting. Almost all my friends, married or not, are popping out kids and living on welfare... Why would you ever want to do that? I know for some of them there are religious reasons, but you shouldn't be procreating before marriage... at least if you are super religious... The few of my friends who are married and waited and have kids now, they are all older than me, are better off...

I hope that you continue to wait until you are ready. Child rearing isn't for everyone and it's a very expensive part of life. If you never have kids, don't let people dog on you for it. What business of theirs is your choice not to have a child?

fiona2785

I'm 27 and not had any yet. Not saying that I don't get broody, but there are certain things I want to have in place before having children, and I'd guess I'll be in my early 30s before I can manage that.

Married - check
Own a family-sized house - check
Permanent, stable job with possibility of part-time - check
Savings built up again after buying house.... erm no not yet!

I'd love to add to the list 'husband who earns enough so that I can give up work', but we don't choose who we fall in love with and I'm the breadwinner!

While I'm most of the way there, I don't have a penny to my name; it all went into the house! I don't feel like I'm financially prepared, however much I may want a child. I know it doesn't sound very romantic, but it's a practicality thing!

You've got to think whether you would both cope a) emotionally, b) physically, c) financially. Could you offer a child a stable and secure upbringing and stay sane while you're at it?

dsak

I had my son two weeks after I turned 40, and my daughter was born 2 days before I turned 44!!! Yep.... I'm the old one of the group! Definitely glad I was older when I had them.... more settled, more financially secure and I think I have much more patience now than I would have had in my 20's. Having them in my 30's would have been the best, but... it is what it is... and i love my kids dearly.

AMOMONAJOURNEYTOCHANGEHERLIFE

I was 19. Definitely wait till you have been married for a bit. I don't think the age matters as much as where you are at in your life. Age is definitely just a number especially when it comes to being ready to be a parent. I have friends that are young parents and some are great parents and others aren't. I have friends that are 40+ being first time parents and some are great parents and some aren't.

Being a parent is a blessing. This is a very personal decision that should never be decided lightly. But I think age has little to nothing to do with it.

Il_DaniD_lI

I was 20, and it was not on purpose. I recommend waiting until you're at least 25.

I think you'd agree that you change a LOT between 20 and 25. Maturity is not just a switch flipped on at 18. I think this is a good recommendation.

Absolutely. Especially the relationship between her father and I, we did a lot of maturing in those 5 years.

tishajo

My wife was about 26 or so. We had been trying for a few years - nature does not always cooperate when you want it to. Take your time, but be careful about waiting too long and assuming it will always be easy!

I'm glad we did it young. Being mid-50s when kids are teenagers sounds really tiring.

I agree with you there. My son is getting the boot at age 18 (I'll be 43). :huh: Okay maybe not right away but I can't imagine raising a teen while I'm in my 50's.

sdac

Hi
I am probably going to shock you all when I tell you that I had my one and only child at 39. I definitely had not intended to be that age and had really thought I was not going to. Back up a little, the reason I waited is that I did not want to be a single mom, I didn't really have anyone I was dating that I wanted to have a baby with, I wasn't married and I was having way too much fun being single. Nevertheless, when I had given up wondering if I would ever be a mom with marriage, home and children, it happened. Not in the order I have listed, but bass ackwards anyway. So at 39 I delivered a baby boy, 2 years later, married the baby's father. 12 years later (baby is now 14) I have everything that I want. I wouldn't advise waiting that long, but waiting until you have experienced life and enjoy lifes experiences as a woman, whether single or married. You all definitely have time on your side to accomplish your short term goals; advance education, technical schools, job/career, home, cars and try oh try to stay away from credit card debt. Save money, invest into your future, so when the time is better, you will be too.

cariandy

I was almost 23. I loved being a young mom. But it's different for everyone. If you feel like you will be losing out, you will resent your child! So WAIT! Everyone matures at different times. It is a huge resposibility and sacrifice. You will get your freedom on one end or the other. It also is important to have a spouse who is ready for the challenge and sacrifice. Having a baby won't bring you together if you are not already strong as a couple and deeply commited to each other. (It most likey would go the other way..)

GOOD LUCK! If you feel like waiting is right for you, then it most likey is! Enjoy being 21!!! :happy:

vim_n_vigor

30 and 32. I'm glad I waited. I settled down, had a good, steady job with great benefits that allowed me paid time home with my babies after they were born. Any earlier and I would not have been able to do that.

beauty2323

I have a step daughter who is 5 now... my husband was 18 when he had her. He says it was a mistake & just wish I was in his life to have her. Beautiful amazing little girl but baby mother from hell.

Anyway, I'm 22 soon to be 23 & I admit I have baby fever. I have always loved kids and I also have a niece now (8 months) & they make me soooo happy.

However, now that I'm losing weight I'm nervous to get pregnant .... I want a baby but I also want to wait. I guess when it happens, it happens....
Just hope I'm blessed with one before I'm 32. :happy:

Ashley_Panda

21 almost 22 when our son was born and 24 when our daughter was born four months ago!

lawsy23

I had my first daughter when I was young my second daughter 4yrs later. My husband and I have been together since i was in grade 8 he was in grade9 which has been 19 yrs. my youngest is 13 and i would not go back and change a thing. we have our Independence being in our mid 30's. I love my sleep and feel if i was to have children now i would be grumpy LOL. But this is my experience I did grow up fast and was very mature for my age. We have come along way

NiSan12

I was 20, then at 25, then at 28. That is really a personal decision as to when to having them. More importantly to consider is WHO you are having the children by. Make sure you know them and their family well because you will get all of his good and bad points.

I considered myself to having kids at the right age because I wasn't too young but my life was going into the mud, so having my first child when I did helped me make up my mind to get my life together. Then the other 2 I had so I could keep my first one company LOL

luv_lea

I was 20 when I had my son. Wasn't even old enough to drink, but had a child.

I wish I would have waited longer, but am very blessed to have my son in my life.