Judging other people's diaries

ashleypage__

I am 100% against anyone passing judgment on anyone's diary. No one on this site has a perfect diary, simply because there is no such thing as a perfect diary.

I dislike seeing people write "Good job, except for that soda" or "You could have gone without those fries." Who is anyone to decide what anyone should eat? Some people are complete health junkies & others are just a work in progress. You don't know where anyone came from or how their eating habits were before joining MFP.

I, for one, am scared of having my diary judged, which is why I think about making it private from time to time. Although I haven't really experience any negative comments from my wonderful friends here, I am afraid I will. I come from a diet that consisted of fast food & soda everyday for years. I literally mean breakfast, lunch & dinner were all unhealthy fast food meals. Water didn't even consist in my diet. So even for me to have 2 glasses of water is a HUGE change for me. I hardly ever make 8 glasses of water, but I am trying. And most days I do eat a fast food meal, but for the most part I make healthier choices. But today like I had Five Guys, and usually I've been getting the burger without the bun, but today I decided against it. My lunch was 1,390 calories. And because I'm so scared of people judging, I've been trying to put off eating even when I'm hungry.

I just want you all to be open minded and celebrate successes. If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all. If you have a good comment, then don't throw something negative in there. We are all here to make a change in our lives, but for sustainability most of us cannot support a 360 change at once.

I wish everyone on here the best of luck & hope you have a wonderful journey with making this change

HappilyCyn

I could not agree with you more. I would love to be your non-judgemental friend. I just posted something about people passing judgement on this page http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/643281-don-t-request-me . It's not right.

Bmjnash

I so agree! And omg do I miss five guys! I love that place.

findingme07

you do what you need to do to be successful and if that means having fries and burger, then have it. Deprivation = Defeat......GOOD JOB!

Alexstrasza

No one has ever commented on my diary like that.

If someone clearly has a bad day the most I comment with is "Tomorrow is a new day!"

But I'm all for people spoiling themselves now and again.

tammyc226

All of my friends are great and would never say anything like that. Just delete anyone who says nasty comments and move on. I like having my diary open to friends as I'm more likely to make better choices and we give each other ideas but I know that doesn't work for everyone. Add me as a friend if you want non judgemental support.

RobynMWilson

I understand where you're coming from and I'm now craving Five Guys (sigh...lol) but I may come off as being judgemental too. Where I came from is living in South Jersey where we have yummies such as cheese steaks, Taylor pork roll and bangin rolls and I was once obese...but a lot of the reason why ppl make their food diaries public is to keep them accountable. It's so easy to lie to ourselves and then we wonder why we're not getting anywhere. I'm not judging anybody, I'm not GOD...but if I see a healthier alternative from my OWN experience in losing 70 lbs and keeping it off for YEARS then I mention it. The reason why MFP works and the fellowship on here works is accountability. And I do these things b/c I care...I see too many ppl, including my brother, in that yo-yo diet trap and don't get that it's cleaner, healthier eating and not "diet". I have cheat days too...I ate Breyer's ice cream 2nite and logged it and showed it so that ppl know it's ok to have an OCCASIONAL treat...and after reading your Forum post I'm sure ppl will see Five Guys logged in my diary too one day soon (I haven't had it since last Fall lol). It's your prerogative to keep your diary private. I'd much rather you keep it private so long as you're being honest on it so you can see where you can improve.

ArtemisMoon

No one has ever been negative on mine, but I kind of appreciate the awkwardness of people seeing my bad eating habits. Sometimes it keeps me from doing some terrible stuff just so people won't see it and I won't have to lie about it, LOL...

AntShanny

I don't comment on anyone's diary and I have mine set to private. Who am I to judge what other people eat? And I really don't need anyone telling me I need to eat more vegetables, cut back on carbs, up my protein intake, etc...I KNOW these things myself, and am trying every day to make changes. But ultimately it is MY business and no one elses what I eat.

jppd47

ill look to see sometimes, just to see what kind of yummys people are eating!! love ideas for delicious

TKishjr

To the OP: if you drank two 16oz glasses of water, you were halfway to the 8 CUPS of water the site recommends. 1 cup= 8 liquid ounces. Keep up the good work, and don't let the *kitten* get you down!

Debbe2

Agree with you! You've made several good points. Personally I think that logging in each day and keeping track of the food eaten is plenty accomplishment and I applaude and value my friends who want to lose and do this. I also know that many people using MFP do so for other reasons and their reasons are equally important. Having a friends list on mfp and being supportive is about tolerance and understanding. We are all as perfect as we can be and that includes our blemishes.

Congrats to you OP on the positive changes you've made! I admire you for posting!

Phaedra2014

ill look to see sometimes, just to see what kind of yummys people are eating!! love ideas for delicious

Same here.

Reignofmongo

People cheat on their diets. Who cares. I succesfully lost a ton of weight having two cheat days a week, where I ate EVERYTHING. like 9000+ cals. Just find what works for you. And if you're fine with an "imperfect" day or even week, then great! It's all about you, and what your goal is. This is a marathon, not a sprint. If you stumble, or even stop... Just know you can get at it anytime you want.

Shayztar

Preface: I do not judge food choices. I do not eat "clean" all the time either.

However, if you don't want people to judge your food choices then maybe you *should* lock your diary. I think the diary open/closed option is genius because some people DO feel the need to hold themselves accountable to healthier food choices.

Do you feel bad about your lunch today? Could you have made a better choice? Is that what you think your friends might think? Would you put off eating even when you're hungry if you were to log a chicken salad with a yogurt instead? Just playing devils advocate with you.

On the other hand, a calorie is a calorie. If you are eating at a deficit, then you're still ahead of the game.

childofArtemis24

I agree with ya. My food diary is totally made of things you shouldnt eat, BECAUSE I HAVE A STOMACH DISEASE AND CANNOT EAT ALL THE HEALTHY FOOD. So I really dont care what ppl have to say. I can tell ya what foods will hurt and what won't . So DONT BE SO QUICK TO JUDGE OTHER PEOPLE'S CHOICES WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW THE WHOLE STORY.

taso42

I dislike seeing people write "Good job, except for that soda" or "You could have gone without those fries."

Who says that? If someone commented that on my diary I would LMFAO.

Tanig32

Dont worry about others judging your diary, you do you . You are a grown woman and you have the freedom to eat what you want and to treat yourself whenever you want, people are judged enough in this world so nobody should judge you about your food instead they should be encouraging you in a postive way.

TexasBridgett

Seriously, what is five guys!?!

Every person responds differently and needs certain types of encouragement. I agree with you though for the most part. I'm scared that people will totally judge me on my splurges. This week, has been one of the worst since I started MFP and I just have a feeling everyone on my friends list is checking out my diary thinking, "she ate THAT! She must not be that committed." Not that I should have to explain any of it. It's just one of those things. On my normal weeks though, I kind of enourage suggestions on my bad food choices. Like if I have a certain type of food, and someone notices and knows of something similiar that is less calories/sodium...I totally want to hear about it, ya know?

Anyway, you're not alone.

abetterjune

Hmm... I agree with you for the most part. BUT, when I see a friend with some unhealthier choices in their diary, I'll typically check in with them (message or comment depending on who they are) asking about their choice. Was there some stressful event that led them to having a latte and a muffin at lunch? Did they go out with friends for fast food at dinner? I guess I think of it as being supportive because while I am technically judging their choice, I'm not attaching a negative connotation to it. Just opening the line of communication, or trying to. I want them to know that I actually look at their diary, I care what they eat, what they're putting in their body, and I support their decision to change their habits and eat healthier food.

tmauck4472

I look sometimes at others diary's but just because I'm nosy and want to see what you all are eating, but I would never ever criticize what someone else eats...You have to do what you have to do for you and others should do what they have to do. We each are different in the way we lose and the way we exercise and the way we do everything in life and no one else has the right to judge us. Look at mine all you want, I'm sure you won't be exactly happy with( well those that feel the need to judge that is)whatever I do not care.

hothodgie

I agree. That's why I keep mine private. I also keep myself very accountable. Such as last week I way over indulged and doubled my calorie intake for the day. I still logged every single ounce. It was my motivation to be very good the next day and get right back on track. Last year I did the Atkin's diet and got a lot of slack for my carb intake, which I agree was low, but it was something I wanted to try. I hated it and decided on my own to stop it. This year is a new year and it has been a very happy journey so far. I intend to keep it that way.

TArnold2012

Yeah I have mine so that only my friends can see it b/c I have this same fear. I am only 3 weeks in and while in the long run I want to be making all the right choices. Right now its about seeing the numbers continue to drop as I make more and more good choices.

I see it like this, if having a burger today can help you stay with the program in the long run then the burger was worth it.

MtnKat

Yep, I just got a message from someone who says I have too much sodium in my diet. Sheesh. Sorry I ate that can of chicken noodle soup without checking the label first because I was so hungry. :grumble: (yes, that was the only thing that caused me to go over....by like 700 points).

To be honest, I could care less about sodium right now. I'm just trying to get my eating under control. I ate fast food every day. BIG change in a short time. I track it because I'm curious - that's all. I'll "fix" it when I'm ready.

ashleypage__

I don't comment on anyone's diary and I have mine set to private. Who am I to judge what other people eat? And I really don't need anyone telling me I need to eat more vegetables, cut back on carbs, up my protein intake, etc...I KNOW these things myself, and am trying every day to make changes. But ultimately it is MY business and no one elses what I eat.

This!!

ashleypage__

Preface: I do not judge food choices. I do not eat "clean" all the time either.

However, if you don't want people to judge your food choices then maybe you *should* lock your diary. I think the diary open/closed option is genius because some people DO feel the need to hold themselves accountable to healthier food choices.

Do you feel bad about your lunch today? Could you have made a better choice? Is that what you think your friends might think? Would you put off eating even when you're hungry if you were to log a chicken salad with a yogurt instead? Just playing devils advocate with you.

On the other hand, a calorie is a calorie. If you are eating at a deficit, then you're still ahead of the game.

I actually think you make some good points. But still, sometimes I have a totally bad day where I give into my cravings. And so, yes I do feel bad about my lunch but having other people saying negative things or judging won't make me feel any better about it. We are all smart, and know when we are having a bad day or not. Supportive comments like someone mentioned about "Tomorrow's another day." goes way farther than someone saying something negative.

Awake_Alive

You are logging, that is a WIN in my book. I would have to be a complete idiot not to see exactly where my problems are when I log honestly, which is all the time. I already see it, and most times I take action to not let it happen again, so I don't need a running commentary from anyone!

It also bothers me because no one else knows what kind of program another person is working. People could scream at me all day about the amount of fat and protein I eat, but I am following a (loose) version of Paleo that is working for me! So quit telling me to stop eating so many nuts!! LOL!

When people do judge me, I call them out on it. If they do it again, that is cause for an immediate unfriending, even if it was just their way of "supporting" me. I know what works for me, and judgement doesn't, it just makes me want to crawl under the covers and eat...and I am not that woman anymore!!!

jolinemariem

yeah the only reason i look at other peoples diares is to get good ideas of new stuff to add to my diet

jenniferlmartinez

I totally agree with you 100%. NOBODY should pass judgement.

TrinaJ11

i agree 100%

wellbert

I like the constructive criticism on my food diary. It's really the kick I needed to pay attention to my sodium.