Things you shouldn't say to someone "on a diet?"

Romans624

This is definitely an annoying phenomenon that people who are trying to lose weight have to deal with. Someone should coin a phrase for it so people will start talking about it more and not be so thoughtless about what they say.

I saw someone in the thread(don't remember the name) who was sad about making a comment that she meant well but wasn't taken well. Sometimes it is hard to communicate the intentions just right, so that a person will not take offense. And sometimes the person just isn't really receptive to suggestions that force them to make a decision right now.

Like, you could say, "what I do is portion control, and see when I'm no longer hungry. Now, I'm pretty satisfied, so I am actually going to pack up the rest of my plate for tomorrow". This puts the suggestion in the conversation without implying or forcing the other person to feel like they have to or should do it. Maybe they will start doing it, but its up to them the if and when.

Romans624

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YfvBbxE1vU

Please watch this. It will make you all feel better. It's Chris Farley, Adam Sandler and David Spade dressed as women at the mall eating french fries. Hilarious! Watch it. It will make you laugh!

hahah I loved that. I miss chris farley. he was funny.

ETA: One thing I forgot to admit was that I do sometimes have foot in mouth syndrome myself when it comes to all areas... so sometimes people aren't trying to be insensitive, but they have that tendency someitmes to not think something through before saying it.

harribo_mum

Theres a woman at my sons school who asked me how I lost.weight. Then when I told her she said I should join weight watchers as she had lost 4lb with them??

My mum who lost a lot of weight after having us kids and has kept it off keeps telling me i should.skip meals as thats how she keeps slim.

Oh and my all time favorite "don't take it to far you look fine as you are!" My friends mum is a fan of that one and the last time I saw her she says "look I told you you'd take it to far you look really ill!" To which I pointed out I was ill as I had tonsilitus at the time!!

vice1989

"why are you on a diet, you are so skinny, just enjoy yourself" (when i order healthy food on a menu like a salad or grilled chicken)

UM, I WORKED HARD TO GET HERE, IM NOT GOING TO FALL BACK INTO MY OLD WAYS BC YOU CANT HAVE SOME SELF RESTRAINT TO DO WHAT I DID!

Lol..these are the same people who text me: "whine, im so fat, i wanna get in shape..." oi

SAME HERE !
If I ever mention anything about calories, or turn food down thats bad for me, I always get, "your the last person who needs to worry about calories !!!"
COME ON!!! seriously ? just because you dont care about your calories (this is always coming from heavier people too)
But really I work so hard to lose the weight and keep it off, I feel like people who are heavier and dont want to be, but still eat mcdonalds and *kitten* are just thinking that I am naturally skinny and its so easy for me... But its sooo far from that !!! I work my *kitten* off. and I gain weight so easily, I lost like 50 LBS and it just comes back so fast if I eat wrong a few days in a row..

tehzephyrsong

I hate how my mom smiles patronizingly at me while I jog in place using the Wii Fit or carefully measure out my 3/4 cup of cereal and 1/2 cup milk for breakfast. She'll smile and tell me how good I look and how proud she is of my progress on her way out to the porch to smoke a cigarette or two, after eating a couple of pop tarts. Yeah, does this look /hard/, mom? Here's a Wiimote, why don't you join me?

My dad dropped 100lbs in about a year, just taking daily walks. It's not really fair to compare myself to him, but he makes it look so effortless now.

mgram2

"You're already so skinny! You don't need to eat that!" (coworker commenting on my choice to eat a Healthy Choice meal for lunch vs. something unhealthy at the restaurant I work at).
.....I fired back with "Ya, there's a reason I am!"

I hate when people think all of a sudden just because you lose some weight that you want to go back to an unhealthy lifestyle!!

Charlayray

OMG YES! Just this weekend I was starving and forgot to grab my snacks and I decided to get a bean and cheese burrito. I know it wasn't the healthiest option, but I knew that my dinner would be light, and with some working out, I would be fine. My co-worker had the nerve to say

"how do you expect to lose weight when eating like that"

It really hurt, and I was angry throughout the whole day. If I want to make a mistake, can I at least be granted that much to mess up with out the repercussions from everyone else?! Let me have what I want. It will only be affecting me!

But for you, screw them! You lost 40 pounds and I am sure you have worked your butt off! CONGRATS!

deeray82

Hi, would you like to buy a box of Girl Scout Cookies?

haha. mmmm, girl scout cookiiiiieeeessss....

smantha32

This is going to sound so bad but when after my first pregnancy I lost a bunch of weight and I worked really hard on it. I was simply practicing portion control and exercise. I went out to eat with a friend who was struggling with her weight and she asked me how I did it and we had a discussion for quite a while. I told her that I was really just mostly consuming less calories. I suggested to her that she stopped eating when I did to help her with portion control. It seemed logical to me at the time that she do this since I was losing weight so well. I didn't realize until later that I had hurt her feelings because after I said this she was like "Well that is easier said than done" and she didn't say anything else for the entire time. I know this is what not to say to someone who is on a diet and my friend was not on a diet, but it was the most horrible thing I could imagine saying to someone with a weight problem especially since I have been struggling so much with my weight recently. It makes me sad to remember that conversation!:frown:

I probably would have done the same thing. Especially as you'd just had a long conversation where she wanted to know everything that was working for you.
But They want it off, but don't really want to have to DO anything to get it off. She was probably hoping you'd tell her you were taking pills.

vice1989

Worst for me is, My roomate who is a 30 something year old guy.... Hes probably 300 lbs and eats fast food every night and cheese cake for dessert ALOT...
Whenever I say anything about watching what I eat or substituting things like having a low calorie burger instead of fast food, hes like, But why delivery/fast food tastes so much better then that low calorie crap.

OH and the other day him and his gf (who is also pretty overweight) were insisting on burger king, so I went and didnt eat anything there, and waited till I got home (we were out on a scooter ride.)
And shes like why arent you eating, and I dint wanna offend them by saying what there wating is fattenning garbage LOL so i just said I will eat later and I dont eat fast food, and shes like umm why not just have a salad then ? with a "talking down to me" voice.

I just said, well they probably friggen deep fry the lettuce...

urasweethart

i made a comment one day on my facebook cuz i started eating alot of oatmeal using splenda instead of sugar....well i made a comment about how it was nasty like that unless i could put my 1tbs of butter in it........my cousin told me if i was on a diet i shouldn't be eating butter at all......... i was so mad.......like really it was an extra 50 calories...........blah

Exactly I normally eat a potato (white or sweet) a day it helps with muscle cramps (FOR ME) but if i put anything one them i hear things if others are at my house (Im sorry but Im the one watching not only my cals but my carbs Fat protien & sugar and Im still well within ALL my numbers.

smantha32

My dad dropped 100lbs in about a year, just taking daily walks. It's not really fair to compare myself to him, but he makes it look so effortless now.

I have a friend who dropped 100 pounds doing nothing but switching pepsi for water. No calorie counting, no exercise, nothing. Just dropped soda for water.

I don't need to lose as much, but damn, really????? :grumble:

bkbakersgirl

My peeve is the general "advice" that some people want to offer me...

For example, I had one woman tell me that if I don't cut carbs, I will gain everything back after I lose it.

I had one guy tell me that exercise only will get my weight off.

And I HATE it when people tell me I will gain weight if I eat after 6 pm.

Believe what you want to believe, and do what works for you. But if I want advice, I will ask for it!!

I agree...someone can be totally overweight or completely out of shape, and if they know you're on a diet, they're automatically going to find something wrong about how you're eating or how you're exercising! Everyone is an expert! Keep up your great work:-)

Oh my gosh!! I'm glad I'm not the only one. Ha! I was talking to a workout/fitness/health nut that I work with about supplements, exercise and how to get my nutrition through food and only take what vitamins, etc. that I absolutely needed... we were mere seconds into the conversation when a morbidly obese co-worker who eats whole pizzas at a time starts teaching me (in a demeaning voice) over my informed friend. I'm not bashing, because I'm not little by any means, but I also don't speak up when others are talking about nutrition or exercise. Then there's my mom, who doesn't normally ask me out to lunch, when she finds out I'm watching my intake, wants to go to the (most tempting) burger joints and buffets. Sabotage much? Lol.

wtlos4me

My pet peeve... is hearing anyone comment on my weight, good or bad. I simply don't like my weight being a topic of conversation among my friends and family (other than MFP that is). There are so many fascinating and interesting things to talk about in life, my current weight, or weight loss is not one of them.

Inojbird

Quite frankly, why does anyone feel they have the right to say anything... It seems we can't share how we feel about our weight with just anyone. I told my husband that our daughter turned me onto this site and she and I were going to do this together. So, of course the next night he is coming home very late from work and asks me if I would like him to bring home some hot wings.

I LOVE HOT WINGS.... Well, I explained again to him that I was at my limit of calories and couldn't eat them, thank you anyway. He said "I love you just the way you are". I told him, but I don't love me just the way I am...

I am fortunate to have a loving husband of over 31 years, but now is the time for ME... I think I scared him...

Jishmeister

I find it especially annoying when a friend who is really just an acquaintance looks at my small portion or salad and says with sarcasm and rudeness, "oh, I see you are on a diet" or "oh, are you trying to maintain your girlish figure?" Its not your business, and actually yea, I'm trying to reach a girlish figure because right now, I don't have one.

At least I'm healthy.

Pimpmonkey

As fat as you are, why bother trying now?

KrazyAsianNic

I agree with your post. The person I hate most is my father. He only eats dinners, but as he gets older, he is starting to snack a little more. However, every time I eat, he swears I just ate a few minutes ago, even though it had been 2-3 hours. It can be frustrating, but just stay strong. The best way I handle this is ignoring him.

chlorisaann

Last week was my 21st birthday and I was celebrating it with my fiance and his family. His mother is the nicest person I know and she knows I've been eating less and been on a "diet", so she asked me what kinda of cake i wanted for my birthday. I told her a mini one lol. So she did! It was only 6 inches in diameter and it was a pretty healthy cake, as far at they could go. There wasn't any frosting, just some light whipped cream and fresh cut up strawberries. I planned on sharing it at my birthday part with my fiance, who would eat half of it anyway. After I got my cake though my future sister-in-law said "Wow, a whole cake to yourself!?" Then make some pig noises afterward. That made me feel pretty bad after so I had a very small piece, maybe a slice that was 12% of the cake, if that. My fiance still had half of it.

Needless to say, if it's someone's birthday or special occasion and they seem like they deserve a treat, don't make fun of them even if you're joking.It can really hurt someones feelings.

WHOA! Dude on my last birthday I had eggs benedict and homefries for breakfast, olive garden for supper and a very large slice of ice cream cake.

If anyone said boo to me you can bet they're face would have had a pretty solid introduction to the back of my hand.

A girl after my own heart!!! I would have backhanded them too!!!

Jishmeister

Additionally, I don't usually tell people I'm on a diet. I'll only tell my two best friends who are super supportive and MAYBE my mom or dad. But then again, even my parents breath down my neck and it's annoying. Like, they continually bring it up, especially my dad. He keeps rubbing it in my face that I have to lose weight to look attractive or that I have a big butt/thighs/stomach/hips. At least they see me walking and exercising 7 days a week so they don't talk anymore. I'm trying to lose weight because its what people think I should be doing, I'm losing it because I've always wanted to. I've been over weight for the past 8 years or so; I just want to be healthy, fit, and feel attractive.