Things you shouldn't say to someone "on a diet?"

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  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I've heard most of the comments on here and they used to bother me. I guess I've mellowed with age, or maybe just grown tired of explaining myself. Now when someone says "You don't need to be on a diet", I answer with "I know, and it's because I eat healthy". When they ask "Should you be eating that?", I ask "Why? What do you think it will do to me?". If they ask "Are you on a diet", my standard response is "Always".

    I have absolutely no problem with the word diet.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    I can't relate.
    Nobody knows I am on a diet.
    I eat more than most at every function, party or picnic and am usually on "free day". While the fat people are all crying the blues about their "diets", I am wallowing in a food orgy of fun and fabulous dishes.
    What diet?
    The one thing people do say more often than anything is "how do you eat so much and stay in such good shape?"
    If I thought they really wanted to know, I'd tell them, but I do not.
    I just shrug and play dumb, knowing none of these people would be willing to travel down my road to peak fitness.
    It's a lonely but lovely place.
    ALL IS POSSIBLE!
  • Its the same thing for me. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I have captains practice for an hour and a half, go to work in a super market, then do 2 hours of an injury prevention and fitness training class which i have to leave directly after to go to soccer practice for my other team for 2 hours. On those days screw it, I want mac and cheese for lunch, I'm making mac and cheese. Or if I go out with friends after practice I'll have a scoop of ice cream or buy a small slushie. If I don't have those treats then I'm getting seconds of salmon and veggies. They all tell me I'm not going to lose weight eating so much but I don't think they realize that with the amount of exercise I do I have to nourish my body. Mostly I eat healthy except for the couple of treats on those days.
  • emmajcole
    emmajcole Posts: 1
    I'm also finding that as I am at my ideal weight, I get the

    'you dont need to loose anymore weight' I KNOW, I'M AT MY IDEAL WEIGHT

    'you look like your too thin' NO IM NOT, IM JUST LEAN, I STILL CANT FIT INTO A LOT OF STUFF IN TOPSHOP

    'You dont need to keep going to the gym, you work out too much' ERR, WHEN WA THE LAST TIME YOU SAW THE INSIDE OF A GYM?

    The reality is this...

    I am at my ideal weight for my height, (5ft 3 ins and 8 stone 4 pounds) I'm sleeping better, my hormones are in check and I feel less stressed. My personal trainer, my friends and my boyf happen to think I look ok.

    I'm fitter than I have ever been, revealed muscle tone I didn't think existed and I have run a number of 10k's and a half marathon, learned to swim and looking to start cycling in the nicer weather.

    I go to the gym about 3 or 4 times a week and this includes things like Yoga and swimming.

    I wouldnt mind but the people who comment are massively unfit, mostly overwight and have no understanding of athletics and nutrition.

    I just wish these commenters would recognise my achievements and stop trying to drag me down to their level :-(

    And I wish they would stop shoving cake in my face! you wouldn't stick a bottle of whiskey in an alcoholics face would ya!?!?!? eh??!?!?
  • simatif
    simatif Posts: 32
    "Oooohhhh, i REALLY hope you are being smart about this. I mean, you arent starving yourself right ?"

    At two months, and 12 lbs, in the gym daily, i think i am being fairly smart about it no? I never even imagined when i started on the route to being healthy, that anyone could be negative, boy was I wrong.
  • HunterKiller_wechange
    HunterKiller_wechange Posts: 369 Member
    cor this pizza with extra everything is well nice. How's your carrot? :)
  • jadesign19
    jadesign19 Posts: 512 Member


    And I wish they would stop shoving cake in my face! you wouldn't stick a bottle of whiskey in an alcoholics face would ya!?!?!? eh??!?!?

    Brilliant! I'm stealing this quote for the next birthday party!
  • placebomonkey
    placebomonkey Posts: 104 Member
    cor this pizza with extra everything is well nice. How's your carrot? :)

    :laugh:
  • TomKat428
    TomKat428 Posts: 30
    I have no history whatsoever of an eating disorder or a bad relationship with food. However, every time my grandmother thinks I look thinner than the last time she saw me, she flips. out. "Are you eating?! Are you depressed? Did you just throw up your lunch in the bathroom?" it is positively infuriating, not to mention hurtful. I have no idea where it's coming from.
  • TaylorsGranddad
    TaylorsGranddad Posts: 453 Member
    Mine is...... you've lost enough, I hate that, I've not lost enough, I'm still overweight, and nowhere near a normal BMI.

    My answer is, I look thinner COS I AM!!!.
  • BPayton27
    BPayton27 Posts: 626 Member
    My 6 year old son sometimes gets under my skin lol! He knows that I log my food before I eat meals, so when I have something that is higher in calories or clearly not as healthy as a piece of fish with vegetable, he'll snarkily ask "How many calories are in THAT?" I can't even enjoy it after that.
  • "You don't eat enough."
    "That isn't a meal, that's a snack" My friend who is naturally skinny and can eat whatever she wants always says this.
    "You don't need to lose anymore." I hate that one....
    "One bite won't kill you." It won't but I'll hate myself for it.
    and one time a close friend of mine called me "grossly skinny"
    it hurt, alot
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
    I go home for lunch everyday. I do this, so that I can see my kids (who are 3 years old) to break up the day. I was a stay at home mom for the first 2 and a half years, so when I started working, I decided to go home every lunch hour in order to help the transition. That was 7 months ago, and I haven't stopped the tradition. I enjoy being with my children. Because of this "nobody sees me eat".

    My coworker, brings in horrendous foods, constantly. Ice cream (and everyon makes a sundae) or cake, cookies, chips etc.....
    It's always offered to me and I say "no thankyou" because I really just DON'T want it, or I've had a big breakfast etc....

    Everyone in my office thinks I have an eating disorder (because if they don't see me eat, I clearly DON'T ever eat, even though I've put on weight since being here).

    The other day, I missed the BBQ portion of our staff meeting because I went home to see my boys. When I came back, they said "Ang, there's lots of food, you need to eat" .....uhhm, I already ate. Nobody believed me? So frustration.

    NOTHING about me indicates that I have an ED, you know, especially the fact that I could stand to lose 25lbs.
  • I have two... when people tell me how great i look because i lost some weight. Umm hello I haven't lost any and my measurements are the same. Don't try to tell me lies because you think I want to hear them.

    And the famous why are you on a diet you don't need to lose weight. Umm hello I am fat and I want to get healthy so I have a long life with my precious new daughter.
  • rosiecotton24
    rosiecotton24 Posts: 81 Member
    My peeve is the general "advice" that some people want to offer me...

    For example, I had one woman tell me that if I don't cut carbs, I will gain everything back after I lose it.

    I had one guy tell me that exercise only will get my weight off.

    And I HATE it when people tell me I will gain weight if I eat after 6 pm.

    Believe what you want to believe, and do what works for you. But if I want advice, I will ask for it!!

    I get this from a lady at church. She continually tells me what I should or shouldn't eat. I made some comment one day about getting a grilled chicken sandwich from somewhere (like Burger King- someplace I very rarely eat anymore) and she asked if I had checked the nutrition on it and that sometimes they are just as bad as the regular fried chicken sandwiches. She's also told me I should eat almonds among numerous other things. lol
  • julie9200
    julie9200 Posts: 62 Member
    Hi, would you like to buy a box of Girl Scout Cookies?

    haha. mmmm, girl scout cookiiiiieeeessss....

    <raising hand> Guilty :blushing:
    My daughter's in girl scouts and we were peddling those cookies big time just to get them the heck out of my house, LOL!
  • KarensCanDoIt
    KarensCanDoIt Posts: 190 Member
    "One cupcake is not going to hurt you."

    I hear that and I think. NO. I don't WANT the darn cupcake! I'm trying to be good! lol.

    *empathizes with you*

    Definitely this.

    Or, "You don't have to lose anymore. You look fine now. Have some cake!"
  • Shawneb66
    Shawneb66 Posts: 124
    I just don't like it when people want to "help" me with my choices of food. I am doing fine and don't need the help right now, if I do I will ask! I also don't like it when someone says, "you aren't going to become obsessive about this are you?" I am in weight loss mode...when I reach my goal and am in maintenance mode maybe it won't seem "fanatical" hahaha!!
  • Sassybecky
    Sassybecky Posts: 72
    I was getting ready to go on vacation after losing about 15 lbs, with plenty to go. Once of my overweight friends said to me, "Are you going to count calories on vacation or are you just going to have fun?" As if I couldn't do both! I counted my calories, ate what I wanted, had a great time and came home with a 0.5 lb gain after a week. She probably gained more than me without going on vacation.
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
    I have the lap band, which I got about 6 months ago, and some of my coworkers know about it, so they tend to pay a little more attention to what I eat than what is their business. Anyway, I had a small problem with my band and had to get an unfill for about 3 weeks, which resulted in me being able to pretty much eat what I wanted again. I was trying to do the best I could until I could go back to get a fill again (if I had appropriate willpower, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place), so I was eating bigger salads at lunch to keep myself full, and one of my coworkers was like, "wow, I thought you couldn't eat that much?" It was her tone more than anything, as if I was eating a mountain of fries or something. Ugh. MYOB!

    "One bite won't hurt."

    "You don't look like you still need to lose 50 pounds, no way, you should stop now!"


    Ugh....demoralizing...

    On the UP side, though, I have a corset that I bought when I was still a size 20 that used to lace up with about a 6-inch gap in the back, and now it laces COMPLETELY closed with room still for a few fingers, and one of my friends is SUPER excited to help me remove one of the panels so that I can still wear it for a while longer. :D
  • LeslePG
    LeslePG Posts: 105 Member
    People who say "Why are you trying to lose weight? You look fine". Well, I still have about 10 pounds of baby weight I want to get rid of from 6 years ago! And what I really want to say is "Have you seen me naked? Not pretty right now but I'll show you if you think it's your business" :laugh:

    Luckily my husband and I are doing this together with MFP and training with C25K......however, his huge calorie allowance per day really annoys me~ lol!

    Glad we can all encourage each other- keep up the good work, everyone!
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
    I hate it when people are trying to lose weight and act like it's an end all be all.

    You want a cupcake? Fine eat it. You want pizza? Fine eat that too.

    As long as your calories in are less then your calories out, you will lose weight. As long as you stick to a serving size and don't have a free for all, then you will be fine.

    Losing weight shouldn't mean that you stop living like a normal person.
  • hkevans724
    hkevans724 Posts: 241 Member
    That made me feel pretty bad after so I had a very small piece, maybe a slice that was 12% of the cake, if that. My fiance still had half of it.

    I'm sad that you didn't get to enjoy your cake. :(

    I have to second this. It's your freakin birthday! Glad you have a nice future mom in law but sounds like the sister in law might have a few rough edges. That would hurt my feelings for sure if I heard that.

    Maybe you should go out and treat yourself to one slice of some really good cake, and enjoy it. You turned 21! Happy belated bday :)


    Thank you very much, the both of you. It made me feel a lot better. Yes...my future sister-in-law is definitely not my favorite person (and my fiance agrees lol) but I don't have to see her much.She eats a lot more than I do and does nothing to keep it off, so she has some extra weight here and there so that makes me feel a tiny bit better lol even though it probably shouldn't .

    Anyway, thank you both again :) Sadly I accidentally dropped the rest of my cake on the way home so I didn't get to have another bite of it. My fiance treated me to dinner though so I was still happy :D

    If the mother-in-law was sitting there with you she should have taken initiative and back handed her for you :) I know I would have. Glad your birthday was good even though she is a turd.. I have a turd SIL so I know how you feel
  • b_fit4life
    b_fit4life Posts: 105 Member
    My boyfriend is like Batman's nemisis Harvey Two-Face. He is super supportive of my healthy goals and lifestyle but complains that I "work out instead of spending time with him". Totally untrue since I work out, cook breakfast, and pack lunch for BOTH of us before he's even out of bed. Another thing he does that is sweet yet sabatoge is this: he knows soft serve ice cream is one of my favorite treats so everytime we pass the parlor (clearly I'm aware we're passing one, it's my favorite treat for pete's sake) he comments and simply says "soft serve??" Occasionally I say yes depending on the day I'm having, othertimes I just quietly shake my head no because I don't have room for it that day. OH, and one time he was puting food on my plate and I asked that he cut something in half first so I would be getting the right amount and he refused to "measure everything out for me separately just because I'm on some crazy diet". I'm not on a diet at all! I eat what I want, in a sensible portion and make choices every day based on how many calories I've already had or how many treats I've already had. Ugh, just love me and shut your mouth already!
  • Julienetan
    Julienetan Posts: 44
    "when i see you, i feel so happy because i am thinner than you
  • hkevans724
    hkevans724 Posts: 241 Member
    that and the fact that my aunts are having stomach surgeries and trying to compare my loss to theirs
    [/quote]
    .
    You ignore those aunts! They skipped out on the work and took the easy road out! Plus I would bet my pay check they will gain back what they loose because they aren't going to change their way of eating. Kudos to you for doing it the right way and working for it! You will appreciate it more and look better!!
  • my fiancee is also on a diet and sometimes he goes all calorie natzi on me. i really hate this because he usually does it in front of other people. i guess he is trying to help but i find it humiliating and embarrising. sometimes i do splurge when we have friends over but i always try to budget my calories all day and do some extra cardio. funny part is i have lost more weight than he has so i must know what i am doing. the thing i had to realize is that people usually are really trying to help you, they just don't realize how obnoxious they sound. i just tell them i am a grown woman, thanks for trying to help but i got this!
  • DGHayden
    DGHayden Posts: 21 Member
    "Do you want a bite of this?" - My generous but frustrating husband. (Also the only person who knows I'm working on losing weight.)

    ^^^^THIS!!!!
  • NorseMaiden
    NorseMaiden Posts: 95 Member
    I'd been on MFP for probably 3 months and had lost approx 25 pounds. A co-worked came up to me and said how much weight have you lost...so I assumed they had looked at me and noticed. So I said 25 pounds and he says....From where?
  • mrsffej
    mrsffej Posts: 2
    I agree totally!! It's better to say nothing. I started myfitnesspal (I never say "diet" because diets fail and this has changed my life!) in December and it seemed to work quickly. I'm only 4'10" tall, so the first 10 lbs. made a big difference. As the weight came off, people at work would say, "Oh my gosh, are you ok? You've lost so much weight!! The stress here is great for that, hahaha." I just smiled and said, "yeah, a little bit." That was always my response. When it was no longer an acceptable answer (28lbs. is NOT a little bit!!) I told them how. A couple of them even tried it, but quit within weeks. I was told, "You look great!! Oh, you can have just a little piece of cake, right?" NO, not if I didn't save the calories for it. This is the first thing I've ever done strictly for myself. I am the ONLY one with the control over what goes into my body and I don't need to tell the world, "Hey look at me! I'm losing weight!!" For some folks, that is a great motivator and I don't begrudge anyone that motivation. It just doesn't work for me. I feel like the attention will jinx me or something! I stick with this way of eating because I need to be healthy. I'm only 46 years old. I want to be a grandmother someday who will ride all the rides at Disney and who still rides the Harley with the hubby, son, and (hopefully someday) grandkids! That's all the motivation I need. Best of luck to everyone and know you are not alone!!!