Is it ok for my wife to talk three hours to a guy. 2 results

xxxMumof2xxx

i have a male friend of several years. we are close but when i married, my relationship changed with my friend. i still love him and we keep in touch from time to time. i dont know the entire situation but i don't feel it is appropriate for any spouce to be on the phone and txting late at night with a member of opposit sex. it doesn't look good at all, so sorry.

Totally agree.

I am a "guy's girl". Growing up, I had wonderful, close male friends and we are still very close today. They are all some of the most loyal and amazing people I know. But as we got older, and got married, we no longer spent time on the phone or texting a lot. We don't go on vacations or road trips together anymore. My husband has never had an issue with me having male friends or even doing things with my girl friends (I go on "girl vacations" sometimes). He's not the jealous type. In my opinion, because I respect my marriage and my husband, that sort of behavior is inappropriate with my male friends.

Ditto. I agree with both.

I love my husband and when any issues have come up e.g FACE BOOK - Evil! I just came off it, who cares its only Face Book. My husband, children and family are more important. She's flirting with the idea (if she's not involved already) of being with him... She's causing fights maybe, so that she looks all innocent and sad, then you look the bad one.

Keep a diary incase you need it for court, facts of events not thoughts. Good luck!

pinkprincess1952

Facebook never gets in the way of me and my fiancee... Hes not jealous and we never fight or argue... thats true love and we are compleately honest and faithful to one another and if you dont have that then it will never work...

HappyandToned

I'm sorry, darling, but to put it bluntly, your wife is no longer into you and is looking for excitement elsewhere.

halobender

You need me to tell you?
It's over friend.
That other guy's hitting it, and you're OUT!
Don't go all nuts over it, and just move on with your life. This crumb has done you a huge favor.
Work on your own progress in every area of life: health, emotional, financial, career and social.
Nature abhors a vacuum, so the right person will come along.
Keep Punching and good luck.

This.

As callously put as it is, this is the truth. I say this in part having been "the other man". Well, in a way. I was talking with a woman who was recently separated from her husband, and then it became an "emotional relationship" and from there we made it a physical relationship.

The fact of the matter is she's overreacting over small things and is unwilling to talk with you about things. Ignore the girl who said you overreacted and that you messed it up, good job, blah blah blah—she's obviously either been in a situation wherein someone was overreacting or where she was behaving inappropriately with another man. It's not impossible for any partner to do such a thing, but from your threads it's my opinion that you are not overreacting.

You need to begin poising yourself for a divorce and custody hearings. I would recommend counseling only so that a counselor can say "Well ... it sounds like you were trying to fix things up ... and she went crazy and decided to be a nut job ... so ... I'll testify on your behalf for custody of your children for $X."

She's already moved on emotionally. Even if you get counseling and try to work things out it won't have "been enough". I'm sorry, that all sucks hard.

stephyy4632

People. When you are married it is not snooping. I look at my husbands phone and he looks at mine. We have nothing to hide. You only think of it as snooping when you do have something to hide.

^^^ yep I am on my husbands fb all the time but its mostly for games I play lol but he knows I do it and he has gotten on my fb occasionaly to send himself game things and we both read each others walls its not a huge deal sometimes even makes great chat durring dinner. My husband dosen`t have a cell phone he just dosen`t like them but if he is going on a long motorcycle ride I ask him to take mine with him just in case and yes I do have male friends that call and text on that phone not a big deal because we have TRUST in our relationship.


--- OP I do have to agree with most that in this case she blew up way to fast and changed her fb status so IMO she is LOOKING for a way out. So call a law office and set up an appointment just to be safe and know your rights before it go`s farther also close joint bank acounts (credit accounts).--

tipyourbartender

Now, there is always two sides to a story, but based on the information given in this post:

1. aha... the second she changed her facebook status from 'married' to 'single' after an argument, it should've been over. Why? Maturity level. Such a bratty, spiteful thing to do. Her fllipping out and calling the police? Sounds like you both need to sit through some therapy. =/

2. No one is saying that married individuals cannot have friends of the opposite sex or talk to them (that's... dumb), but if you can't tell the difference between having a platonic friend and the aforementioned situation, you're delusional. There are red flags all over that s*** lol Also, if a person is really willing to put their pride and a friend over a MARRIAGE... well, the person has no business being married.

3. If you felt the need to snoop, there were obviously issues before you even snooped. A lack of trust is a serious, serious issue in a marriage - and the marriage will NEVER work if it is an issue that is never fixed. Not to say I wouldn't have done the same thing in that situation, given the circumstances.

You're asking for help, which means you really want to work things out. Sad thing is, it doesn't sound like she wants to. Seek counseling, the both of you, (although as a skeptic, I've never been convinced that counseling even does anything) and if it doesn't work out, or more importantly, if she refuses to see a counselor with you, time to hire an attorney. Never hurts to get some legal consultation in the mean time, though.

donjoe1024

Let me add a little to this, she used to never have a problem with me looking at her phone and now she does. That is a serious red flag that is why I am still looking at it, well not anymore but that is why I was because she used to never have a problem with it, it makes no sense for her to act this way at all

jenbk2

Sorry but she is completely disrespecting you as her husband. I don't think you did the wrong thing. She obviously wants to be with him. She is just waiting to see which one of you is better. I know many women who have done this.

edited to add- as husband and wife there should never be an issue with looking at each others phone. I have no problem with my SO looking at my phone and vise versa.

jenbk2

Short version of your post:
She demanded that you get therapy (for what, you didn't say)
She said she wanted a separation at least until therapy starts.
She erased her relationship status.
She called the police on you.

That's some pretty clear writing on the wall. See an attorney and find out what your rights are. Tomorrow. You can usually get a free consultation.

Guard bank accounts and credit cards, if you share the same accounts. If you're going to be legally separated, certain papers need to be drawn up (at least in my US state). It's to protect yourself more than anything.

^^ this !

relly1008

Well i don't think a married woman should talk to another man for 3 hours, friend or not, but i think if both of you want the married to continue both of you need therapy, not just you.

xMonroeMisfit

I have male friends. One in particular my fiance dislikes. That friend, just like my fiance said, crossed the line, and it was an easy decision to cut him loose.

Id say give her the separation and do what you need to do for yourself.

pinkprincess1952

HELP!!!! I have cravings for sweets on a daily basis and no matter how hard I try not to eat sweets or avoid the cravings, I just cant seem to do it... I stay right around the calories and I am suppose to consume on a daily basis, but I cant seem to lose wight.... Any ideas?

Jersey_Devil

I'm going to give you the best advice you'll get here.

Go back to every post you've made tonight and delete everything. Trust me.

^^ THIS

bull_dog44

If you want to see the other thread email me and I will send it to yas Thanks
I talked with my wife about how felt about her talkingto some man for three hours and txting him late in the eve and she told me she did not care how I felt about it, if he got foolish she would remove him from her life, well I saw a few text messages from him to her and her to him. She said she is a dork and he said I am a dork too that is why we get along so well and then he goes to say do you know and dorky cute women you could set me up with, It sounds to me like he is flirting with her and trying to get a reaction from her. she said no none that I would reccommend. What the heck is that about and so I got upset and I said your hiding things and she flipped out on me I tried talking to her cause she was going outside, cause I like to resolve problems right away. She doesnt well anyway so I talked to my wife and tried to go outside with her and talk so we would not argue in front of the kids and she said no I am going out to get away before it escalates, I said well let me come outside please. She said no so she grabbed her keys and I said I am going with you and that was it, she called the cops on me and said I would not let her leave. I never said she couldnt leave. Well anyway I left and went to my storage unit. and then to the VFW let he calm down and today she told me we need to seperate until I get therapy my therapy session is not until July 13th. I could not get any sooner. SO anyway I checked facebook and she erased the fact that we are married. It doesnt say anything. What the hell is up with this guys I am so concerned I dont know what to do.

Dude....get a divorce. She's cheating and if she's not cheating she wants to.

That sounds like a hell hole.