How long were you with your SO before you got engaged?

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Replies

  • lisag2007
    lisag2007 Posts: 130
    9 1/2 months....but we both had been previously married and were in our thirties. When I got married the first time, I was 22 and we got engaged after we had been together off and on for a year and 8 months or so. I should have known the "off and on" meant it would eventually be off for good. If it is meant to be....there won't be any off and on. When you love someone, you love them.
  • Medtech2004
    Medtech2004 Posts: 55 Member
    2 1/2 years and married 1 month before our 3rd anniversary. We have been together 10 years this year and married 7 years next month :smooched: Everyone has a different relationship but if you want it to move to the next step why don't you make the move? Good luck!
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
    I met him, we were friends 11months, then started dating, then 8 months later he proposed. Altogether 19 months
  • Pspetal
    Pspetal Posts: 426 Member
    6 months... I knew on the first date though that I wasn't letting this one get away ever! 3 hours and I had fallen hard for the man. :D Here's the funny part; I proposed, but he had a ring ready when I did, because he was planning to as well!
  • Weighinginwithmy02
    Weighinginwithmy02 Posts: 369 Member
    2 months. we had only been in the same country as one another for 15 days of those two months. We've been married now for 7 years.
  • whtlatina1214
    whtlatina1214 Posts: 765 Member
    my man and i have been together now for 5 yrs im 21 and he is 24 we are in no rush i really prefer it to stay the same he talks about it sometimes but i mean we have a child together already and i feel as if we are i dont need a paper to show, i just dont feel ready child wasnt planned but if i get married i want everything else in place our careers , our home, our money just everything so no complications but if not i feel fine either way. everybody is really different though.
  • angelndskies44
    angelndskies44 Posts: 13 Member
    3 weeks, married before 6 months past. Just celebrated 15 years of marriage. No, I wasn't pregnant, the children didn't come until 7 years later. We also moved in together on our first date. I wouldn't recommend this for anyone, but it sure helps that hes my best friend.
  • KetoBella
    KetoBella Posts: 141 Member
    I don't put too much stock in marriage - it is a piece of paper given to you by the government approving your relationship. I don't need someone to approve my relationship and I've gotten used to the "why aren't you two married" comments. I'm not a religious person, so that doesn't come into play. Besides, there was always an expectation in my family that marriage = kids and my Sweetie and I decided early on that we would not be having children. So, as of July 1st we will have been together for 19 years and we're not engaged yet! Although we've talked about marriage recently simply so I can add him to my health insurance. My employer doesn't offer coverage to "domestic partners" and we're not getting any younger.

    Actually, the purpose of marraige in the legal sense isn't so that the government can approve the relationship. It is actually more like a business partnership. The marraige contract protects you the same way a contract does in any other sense. I would never dream of going into a business and purchasing a building, hiring employees, taking out a line of credit and signing letters of guarantee with a business partner unless I knew that I had some legal protection in case my business partner/s decided to just walk out and leave me financially ruined.

    I always wonder why couples are willing to move in together, purchase homes and cars, have children and pool their money into one checking account and then don't see the need to get married. At least with a marraige contract, while divorce is possible both parties have the protections a contract provides.
  • bleacheblonde
    bleacheblonde Posts: 333
    I met my fiance in June of 2008, we moved in together in December of 2008, and he proposed August of 2011. So we kind of did things in reverse order. We actually probably would have gotten engaged even a year earlier than that but he didn't have any money so he couldn't get a ring. It will be another year before the wedding because we have no money now either! I would say just do what feels right in your situation and don't worry about what other people are doing and/or thinking. My friends and family thought I was nuts to move in with him after a matter of months, but I decided to take the risk and it was definitely worth it :)
  • zerbe6982
    zerbe6982 Posts: 68
    My fiance and I started dating in 2004. He proposed in 2010 and we are finally getting married in 2012. What's that... 8 years total.

    The key to our relationship was communication. I was very frustrated that he wouldn't propose, but we talked about it, and I found out there were very specific personal goals he wanted to meet before he proposed. It took longer than he expected, but I knew why he was waiting so it wasn't a big deal.

    We knew we would eventually marry. We just didn't know when. However, I did put my foot down on the possibility of buying a home. I told him I was not taking on that kind of debt without being married. :)

    Here we are... 4 months away from our wedding and talking about the possibility of a home in a few years. :)
  • tinksmommy2006
    tinksmommy2006 Posts: 575
    we where together 1 year when we got engaged but not married for another 3 after that....and we lived together the whole 4 years before marriage....you can never move to slow when getting married...the more you know about your partner the better.
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
    5 months but didnt get married until 8 months into our serious relationship.... however please also realize by then I had already known him and dated on and off casually for a total of 11 years

    In my humble opinion and this is me and BY NO MEANS advice I wouldn't own a house with anyone I wasn't married too.
  • Dovekat
    Dovekat Posts: 263 Member
    About 3 months, I was 18 he was 30. We have been together 11 years now and are still "Only" engaged. His family was a bit more pushy then mine on the whole "marriage and kids" thing (as if you can't do one without the other :huh: )but quickly came to realise that 1) We'll get married when it's right for us to do so and 2) they better be happy with the grand kids, nieces, nephews and various other relations they already have as they won't be getting any more from us :laugh: . Everyone is different, for some people it's more important then others and for different reasons. Talk to him, explain (if you haven't already :smile: ) maybe he just doesn't know it means so much to you :smile:
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
    3 years and at the same level that you guys are. but that's not my choice! i hate that men have all the power in this ;)

    Who says men have all the power? They have power because we give it to them! You should have this conversation with him instead of with us!
  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
    a month. and yes we are still together
  • brewface811
    brewface811 Posts: 106
    3 years and at the same level that you guys are. but that's not my choice! i hate that men have all the power in this ;)

    Who says men have all the power? They have power because we give it to them! You should have this conversation with him instead of with us!

    I have had this conversation with him ;) I just wanted to hear other people's opinions and know I'm not the only girl that wants to be engaged after 6 1/2 years.
  • goddamnelectric
    goddamnelectric Posts: 85
    6 months, and we did everything backwards. He stayed the night at my house once and never left, so we were living together before it was "official" :laugh: We got married November 6th 2011, 4 days after out 1 year anniversary. It happened so quickly but I knew I was supposed to be with him the night we met.
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
    we got each others names tattooed after 2 weeks. so i guess 2 weeks.
    married 10 years in october. crazy in love like day one. we rock.
  • AprilRenewed
    AprilRenewed Posts: 691 Member
    Honestly, there was no proper engagement. LOL. We had our first date on a Tuesday. A week later, we were practically living together and saying "I love you" and talking in terms of "when we get married."

    It all fell into place, and a year later, we got married.
  • megmay2591
    megmay2591 Posts: 621 Member
    We aren't engaged yet, but we've been together for almost 5 1/2 years. Our first Christmas together (9 months after we started dating), he bought me a promise ring, so I know we'll get married someday. We're also pretty young still, I'm 21 and he's 22 and we're still going to college. We've lived together for two years now.

    I understand the frustration about friends getting engaged and married or having kids. I'm personally not ready for kids, but I would love to get engaged/married. I see people that I graduated High School with getting married and engaged and part of me feels a tinge of jealousy. Then, I realize that it's okay! We obviously love each other, we've been through almost everything you can imagine together, and instead of spending money on a wedding or an engagement, we've been able to travel to Mexico, and California together.

    I hope you get your house soon!
  • Eireann15
    Eireann15 Posts: 124
    2 years
  • kylee_marie
    kylee_marie Posts: 299 Member
    9 months...happily married 7 years
  • Cntrygal81
    Cntrygal81 Posts: 70 Member
    5-1/2 years - And we were 21 and 28 we when met!
  • TheChocolatePrincess
    TheChocolatePrincess Posts: 137 Member
    Me and mine have been together 7 years!!!!! Still no engagement, though I have given him a deadline. I am not getting any younger and I am willing and able to move on to the next
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    My husband and I were together for just over a month when we got engaged, got married 2 months later. Been together over 7 years now :)
  • neko21
    neko21 Posts: 21
    3 months before we engaged and 6 months after that was the wedding. We had known each other for a while before hand as good friends though.

    I was just 21 and he was 22 when we got married.
  • kashrs1234
    kashrs1234 Posts: 8 Member
    together for 4 years before we got engaged :)
  • BigMech
    BigMech Posts: 472 Member
    We dated for about 5.5 years before we got engaged, but that was because we were in college when we started dating, and I waited till her last semester to propose. We were married 6 months later, and this September will be married 16 years.
  • sandylion
    sandylion Posts: 451 Member
    Engaged in 3 months, married 4 months after that. A fast relationship can have it's bumps though, because you really are still getting to know each other along the way! No regrets, and have been married 3 years now!
  • Tonnina
    Tonnina Posts: 979 Member
    I was with my SO for 4 years, but during that time we were in a long distance relationship. I was 15 and he was 20 (A little scary for my parents, but he is a wonderful person) when we started our boyfriend, girlfriend relationship. Then, on my 18th birthday he proposed to me; even asked my dad permission, which he was nervous about since my parents were always hard on him what with the age gap and all. We got married in 2008, we've been married for almost 4 years now. When you know, you know. It's okay to wait a while before getting engaged. It's also okay to wait a while to get married.
    Talk to your SO and see how he feels about it. You two are planning on getting a house together so it might just seem right to get engaged to him too.

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