Requesting a message with a FR = self-importance

mermx

If I get a blank FR then I send a mail to the person before accepting. If they don`t respond then I don`t add! simple!

Here is one I sent to someone yesterday

Hi thanks for you FR

I will be honest that I look at diaries and don`t just do the WTG thing if that is a problem then for sure just delete me lol!

I notice you have lots and lots of friends already I like to keep it neat and clean so I can keep up with everyone... I look forward to trying to encourage you. I log in every day and try to motivate my friends. and I also send little mails now and again.

sundaywishes

I simply put, "If you'd like to "be my friend" just add me, but please also include a message!" just so that way there's a little introduction. Usually the person will put something in the message that is not on their profile and you learn a little something more about them. If I request someone, I include a message as well, regardless if they ask me to on their profile or not. And if I'm on a thread in which people are looking for friends, I'll say to add me, but please put in the message that you found me on said thread. It's just an easy way to know how someone came across me and that they are active on the message boards. I have added people that didn't include a message, but I'd prefer one. It's not a "make-or-break" type of thing, at least for me.

AprilRenewed

I know if there is no message that the person didn't bother reading my profile and these are 100% of the time people I have never seen on the boards or through mutual friends. If I'm requesting someone because of a forum post, I say in my request,
"Loved what you said in thread X." That simple.

I also have heard many times of people denying FRs and then getting nasty grams about it from the requester. If my profile clearly states, "no message, no acceptance," then that person can't complain when I say no.

I just read your profile and you're right, people clearly didn't read your profile if they don't send a message with their friend request. (Or they are trying to annoy you. ) It doesn't really bother me if people don't read my profile (and up until very recently I had it on private anyway.) I feel like I learn more about people from their interactions on the forums then from profiles. But to each their own--I can see why other people would be bothered by someone requesting them without reading their profile.

That's the thing, though. The people who are sending blank FRs are people I have never seen post on the forums. It's possible they are lurkers who saw me, but I didn't see them. So since they're requesting me, shouldn't they mention they saw me on the forum? I don't mind a request from someone who saw me on the forums and didn't read my profile, but if you have never posted on the forums, then I don't know that's why you're requesting me.

And if they're trying to annoy me, they're not. I just deny the request and move on.

That's a good point.

But again, for me, as long as I've been talking to them on the forums, I don't mind a request with nothing in the message. If not, then, yeah...it's kinda strange. IDK.

I get what the OP is saying. But I understand why people would prefer a message. I get both sides of the coin.

So I'm just going to take my coin and buy a diet coke, d@mnit!

rml_16

That's a good point.

But again, for me, as long as I've been talking to them on the forums, I don't mind a request with nothing in the message. If not, then, yeah...it's kinda strange. IDK.

I get what the OP is saying. But I understand why people would prefer a message. I get both sides of the coin.

So I'm just going to take my coin and buy a diet coke, d@mnit!

If I have had enough interaction on the boards to know who a person is without a message, I will absolutely accept either way. I even have that little exception in my intro. If I don't know you from Adam, though, take the time to read my profile and leave a message.

I don't understand people who send a PM to people who don't include a message. I mean, they CAN if they'd like, but I don't feel like it's the responsibility of the invitee to do the work, you know? If I impressed you enough to send me a request, then send a message! lol I always include a message unless it's a RL friend.

_Wits_

I will accept requests without the message if I've bantered back and forth on the forums.

A completely blank request from a random person..it would be nice to know who they are (especially since my profile is private).

The paragraphs about FR's is what gets me....some of them are fine and make sense and then there are others that are so egotistical and full of bullsh*t that it just makes me laugh. Like...get over yourself, mmk?

Jules2Be

you know what i find ad nauseum, that this string went on for 6+ pages about who is more important, the sender or receiver.. good gawd.

I don't like to be the one receiving; I like to be the one dishing out.

oh?

_Wits_

you know what i find ad nauseum, that this string went on for 6+ pages about who is more important, the sender or receiver.. good gawd.

I don't like to be the one receiving; I like to be the one dishing out.

oh?

Give. Receive. With Bacon, either/or will be fine.

thebaconbeast

you know what i find ad nauseum, that this string went on for 6+ pages about who is more important, the sender or receiver.. good gawd.

I don't like to be the one receiving; I like to be the one dishing out.

oh?

Give. Receive. With Bacon, either/or will be fine.

Okay, now just tell me when and where :bigsmile:

Jules2Be

I require an application and a 5 paragraph essay.

thebaconbeast

I require an application and a 5 paragraph essay.

Can I give you some bacon instead ?