fifty shades of dieting

Options
2456789

Replies

  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
    Options
    *speechless*

    No, I'm hungry!
  • mrowrmeowmrowr
    mrowrmeowmrowr Posts: 288 Member
    Options
    I think your inner goddess is coming out.
  • DieVixen
    DieVixen Posts: 790 Member
    Options
    :laugh: and much better written than the original

    I concur! The books are terrible but this pulled me in from the first word. :love:

    I'm still amazed that so many women are so wrapped up in this garbage! It's not even good soft core porn and the writing is fifty shades of atrocious. I truly believe that if you're smitten by the "Fifty Shades of Grey," you need to rethink what happens in your bedroom and with your partner because SOMEONE isn't doing something right!

    The Marquis de Sade...now THAT'S good sex between the pages!

    I've already told you: the only way to a woman's heart is along the path of torment. I know none other as sure.
    Marquis de Sade


    http://50shadesofwhereisyourgodnow.tumblr.com/page/3
  • jodiebarrette
    jodiebarrette Posts: 43 Member
    Options
    :happy: freakin hilarious!
  • snugglesworthjr
    snugglesworthjr Posts: 176 Member
    Options
    love it!
  • skullik
    skullik Posts: 142 Member
    Options
    Awesome!

    I still wish I could un-read the original but this makes it all better :)!
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,691 Member
    Options
    LOL
  • ShareeMorty
    ShareeMorty Posts: 324 Member
    Options
    Moar food porn!:drinker:
  • NanaDino4
    NanaDino4 Posts: 63
    Options
    great way to start my morning :)
  • Onaughmae
    Onaughmae Posts: 873 Member
    Options
    After reading this I think I will retreat now into my Red Room of Foodporn......sometimes I am sorry I quit smoking....

    Laters Baby,
  • bob6702
    bob6702 Posts: 10 Member
    Options
    You had me at "liquid and smouldering".
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    Options
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • LemonBurns
    LemonBurns Posts: 538 Member
    Options
    FAN-friggin'-tastic! Needed that! Phew - got me a little hot under the collar there ;)
  • GeekyGirlLyn
    GeekyGirlLyn Posts: 238 Member
    Options
    This made my morning so much better. lol
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Options
    If this is really the style in which it is written, then I thank you for squashing any small inkling of interest I had in the books. :laugh: This was super cute, though. Good mornin'. :flowerforyou:
  • couponfun
    couponfun Posts: 714 Member
    Options
    I think that we should all write our own chapters to this :laugh: Awesome idea!
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    Options
    Okay, I'm gonna add some :flowerforyou:

    ******************************

    As I rode the bus on the way home, I could feel myself becoming hot. Thoughts were racing through my mind, at a mile a minute. Liquid gushed from my open hole as the fantasies overcame me.
    "Excuse me, ma'm?"
    I jolted sharply. How embarassing ..
    "Thought you could use a tissue. Your mouth was wide open. You must be tired" the old man said, while holding out a crumpled tissue.
    I accepted it gratefully, face turning a pleasant shade of tomato. For the rest of the journey, I tried to ignore the thoughts creeping back into my mind. But, really, all I could think about was that chocolate cake at home, waiting for me, begging me to eat it.
  • LisaH1967
    LisaH1967 Posts: 332 Member
    Options
    You never cease to amaze me. Thank you for the chuckle this morning. lol
  • couponfun
    couponfun Posts: 714 Member
    Options
    Okay, my try :flowerforyou: :

    I saw him across the room and got that funny feeling in my stomach. I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame, such was his attraction. I’d never had *this* feeling so strongly before. I was nervous, shaking...yet so excited.

    “Hello,” he said.

    “Hi,” I replied shyly.

    He asked, “is there something you want?”

    “Yes,” I replied. “There is, but I’m not sure I should ask.”

    “Tell me...say it...tell me what you want,” he said.

    I stepped closer to him, my heart racing a mile a minute, my body becoming excited beyond all reason, the room feeling so very tiny all of a sudden.

    “Can I have a taste?” I asked shyly.

    “Just a taste?” he asked teasingly.

    “Yes, sir.”

    “Open for me,” he said. Nervously I looked around, faced him once more, and opened myself to him.

    I felt him put it in my mouth...what had to be the biggest, juiciest, best-tasting piece of double chocolate cheesecake I’ve ever had.

    “How was that?” he asked.

    “MMMMMMM” I moaned. “Thank you, sir. May I have another?”

    And I did...and another, and another...and now I'm paying the price, but it was sooooo worth it!
  • Sh1tsRainbows
    Sh1tsRainbows Posts: 1,227 Member
    Options
    Oh my…I didn’t know it would feel like this…didn’t know it could feel as good as this. My thoughts are scattering…there’s only sensation…only you..only you…only ...oh god… please…I stiffen. the first bite of a krispy cream after dieting for 6 months


    my lips are parted - waiting, coiled to strike. Desire - acute, liquid and smoldering, combusts deep in my belly............taco bell after dieting

    We pick up the rhythm… up, down, up, down… over and over… and it feels so… good. Between my panting breaths, the deep down, brimming fullness… the vehement sensation pulsing through me that’s building quickly, I watch her, our eyes locked… and I see wonder there, i wonder when the damn waitress is gonna bring my chicken pot pit after 8 monbths of dieting

    Anticipation hangs heavy and portentous over my head like a dark tropical
    storm cloud. Butterflies flood my belly – as well as a darker, carnal, captivating ache as I try to imagine what she will do to me ....after my date comes back from the bathroom and figures out i nom nom nomm all her cheese cake.

    I close my eyes, feeling the build up… pushing me higher, higher to the castle in the air. why in the hell did they build the white castle on top of a hill?

    Hmm… he’s soft and hard at once, like steel encased in velvet, and surprisingly tasty...nathens hotdog with chilli mmmmm

    Thats HOT :love:

Categories