Family is trying to sabotage my 'diet'

AmyFett
AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
This is what I mean.. I've said it before, this is why I don't generally tell family I'm TRYING to lose weight. My mom comes over for dinner tonight. She brings a big bowl of cookies and a cake. It's like what the heck? She knows I don't want that junk, she knows it's hard to say no to chocolate chip cookies, but still. You'd think she'd want to help, or support me... Bleh


and NO I didn't have any!! :laugh:

Anyone else go through this too? It's driving me bonkers.
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Replies

  • tizzie_14
    tizzie_14 Posts: 72
    Thankfully I have very supportive people in my life. I also just tell them flat out that I don't want it. Good for you for not eating them. :)
  • RuthSweetTooth
    RuthSweetTooth Posts: 461 Member
    Just eat one cookie! You can't go through life never eating another one. That is not reasonable. In fact, I may just go have one right now, if I can find one. You could have one cookie every day and still work it into your calories. Abstinence is not the answer. Staying under while finding balance with things you view as treats while meeting nutrition needs will make you a happy dieter. Just tell her, I'll save the rest for a treat later.
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
    haha ruth! I might have one, but since I'm skipping my workout later, I dunno. I'm just pooped, i want my mom to go home so i can get my kids to bed and go myself lol
  • RDR1051
    RDR1051 Posts: 4
    Doubt she's trying to sabotage you unless she doesn't give a crap about her child and is an evil witch...which is unlikely. She just forgot.

    Congrats on resisting the temptation.
  • MalSponseller
    MalSponseller Posts: 217 Member
    I'm just pooped.

    I read that as, "I just pooped."

    D:

    I was very uncomfortable for a moment.
  • saraann4
    saraann4 Posts: 1,296 Member
    They'll get to the point where they stop asking you if you want it and stop giving it to you. Once they know you are serious, they'll quit. At least, in my case it stopped. THANK GOD
  • Renae_Nae
    Renae_Nae Posts: 935 Member
    I'm just pooped.

    I read that as, "I just pooped."

    D:

    I was very uncomfortable for a moment.

    I'm so tired I had to read and re-read both statements to figure out the difference lol. I kept reading "I just pooped" too.

    Now I forgot what the OP was about so I'm going to go eat and go to bed. Good night all!
  • Mellie289
    Mellie289 Posts: 1,191 Member
    I agree that you can't go through life and never eat another cookie, but it's up to you to decide when you want that kind of food. I stayed with my parents for 10 days last month and they have some of the poorest eating habits ever and are unwilling to change. I had to have a chat with them before my trip and constantly about what I am willing or not to eat while I was there. It was a tough battle, but at least they respected my choices for the most part and made the effort to have fruits and vegetables in the house for me when I was eating at their place.

    It's hard enough without someone actively working against your goals like that. Congratulations on being strong enough to turn down something you love that doesn't fit in with your current diet goals.
  • Poorgirls_Diet
    Poorgirls_Diet Posts: 528 Member
    I'm just pooped.

    I read that as, "I just pooped."

    D:

    I was very uncomfortable for a moment.


    lol me too, I think I need to go to sleep. Its 2am in the morning and I am seeing something that is not there lol
  • Melanie_RS
    Melanie_RS Posts: 417 Member
    I usually sneak out and put the cake and desserts right back in their car! or have your spouse do it. It's a nasty trick, but hey, "right back at ya" is what that says. LOL!
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
    Doubt she's trying to sabotage you unless she doesn't give a crap about her child and is an evil witch...which is unlikely. She just forgot.

    Congrats on resisting the temptation.

    LOL I JUST told her a couple hours before she came over.
  • micky554
    micky554 Posts: 4
    sorry to say but your mother is either dumb or she wants you to be fat. Next time - open the garbage can, in front of her - and throw out the cookies.
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
    I'm just pooped.

    I read that as, "I just pooped."

    D:

    I was very uncomfortable for a moment.

    LOL nice! Well I did! ;)
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    The whole world does not revolve around you and your diet.
    Buck up!
    Either control yourself around other people at dinner, or cancel all such events.
    That is what I did except on my "free day".
    I can't control myself. PERIOD!
    And that means I no longer do family dinners or parties or anything except that one special day in the week where I can join the food orgy.
    Do what you think is best, but again, don't snivel over people who are just being who they are.
    Good Luck :flowerforyou:
  • inittothinit42
    inittothinit42 Posts: 64 Member
    Maybe she brought them for the kids.
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
    It was a legit question to see if anyone else goes through it as well, I wasn't exactly sniveling? Just saying. She knows it's hard for me, and I asked her to stop doing this all the time, I don't want my kids eating so much sweets either.
  • RuthSweetTooth
    RuthSweetTooth Posts: 461 Member
    LOL That is what I thought she meant because we were talking about that earlier !!!!
    I'm just pooped.

    I read that as, "I just pooped."

    D:

    I was very uncomfortable for a moment.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    Doubt she's trying to sabotage you unless she doesn't give a crap about her child and is an evil witch...which is unlikely. She just forgot.

    Congrats on resisting the temptation.

    LOL I JUST told her a couple hours before she came over.
    So, your mother is being wicked?
    If this is what you are saying, sever the relationship.
    Problem solved.
  • Mina133842
    Mina133842 Posts: 1,573 Member
    sometimes families have a very active food pusher - moms and grandmas are notorious for this. They make something "special" or "your favorite" and hoist it on you like they do you this massive favor....

    My great grandma - love her, but she was a MAJOR food pusher on my mother - would make sweets and treats from scratch, and would push and push my mother to have it, and then later tell her or me or any of the overweight ones that if we just did a 100 sit ups a day, you wouldn't be fat. The summers I spent weeks there, and watching my diet to have her push food on me, and then tell me I was fat...:huh: :angry:

    I usually just end up taking that kind of stuff to work and letting everyone have a go at it, or send it to my hubby's work - same thing. Or freeze it in individual servings- so you can have one every now and again.
  • cakesmooth
    cakesmooth Posts: 122 Member
    I'm a vegetarian and it never fails that my mom brings and offers me meat during each of her weekly visits. I've had years to try out every kind of reminder and rejection I could think of. I've shouted, screamed, sounded patient, thankful, used logic, etc. She still does it. Maybe it's mom-brain. They have an overwhelming desire to comfort you and it overrides there common sense or something. I sometimes smother my son in kisses and am deaf to his initial screams to stop.
  • beccadaniixox
    beccadaniixox Posts: 542 Member
    I agree on the whole not giving it up thing. On that note, I believe that when you have your treats should be on YOUR TERMS and not when someone brings over a bowl of them and makes you feel bad.

    For example, at camp today they had brownies after lunch.. fresh baked and frosted.. the whole building smelt of chocolate. But I didn't give in to that, and instead I had cake from Publix tonight after dinner :) (Tomorrow it's back to pudding and berries!)
  • RuthSweetTooth
    RuthSweetTooth Posts: 461 Member
    Yes you can control yourself. . . You lost 78 pounds . . ..that takes some amazing control! Congratulations!

    Ruth
    The whole world does not revolve around you and your diet.
    Buck up!
    Either control yourself around other people at dinner, or cancel all such events.
    That is what I did except on my "free day".
    I can't control myself. PERIOD!
    And that means I no longer do family dinners or parties or anything except that one special day in the week where I can join the food orgy.
    Do what you think is best, but again, don't snivel over people who are just being who they are.
    Good Luck :flowerforyou:
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
    To me, sabotage is when they're trying to force it down your throat regardless of whether they know or not. The fact she only brought them over and, as far as you've mentioned, didn't say "here try these they're delicious, I know you want one" then chances are she just wasn't thinking or if there's someone besides you in your home that enjoys these treats she may have thought of them. My Aunt will send home cake and other foods from a get together for my mother that I don't eat, doesn't mean she's sabotaging me.

    It's your willpower. Like I said, unless she's trying to force it on you and I mean just about physically putting a forkful of something in your mouth despite saying "no", it's not sabotage. If you have problems resisting some foods, that's entirely on you, not the person that brought them in your presence.

    And sorry if that sounds mean. I just find a lot of people blame others for their own shortcomings. We gotta take responsibility for ourselves in order to get anywhere.
  • melann1974
    melann1974 Posts: 84
    I know what you mean. My brother was in the hospital after a car wreck. I went up there everyday and stayed all day long. I packed snacks (low fat turkey meat, whole wheat pita bread, apples, pears, low fat string cheese). When I did go to the cafeteria, I tried to make the healthiest choice possible. My mom even comment that I had lost weight and wanted to know what I was doing. She was there every day also and saw (and I even shared) my healthy snacks. On day 4, she runs to the store to pick up snacks. She brings back donuts, Little Debbies, Pop Tarts, etc. Not one healthy snack. I didn't mind her bringing them, I can say no (and I am not usually tempted by sweets). But she seemed offended when I told her I didn't want any. She kept saying that she bought enough for me too. Before she went to the store, she knew about me trying to lose weight, she knew I didn't want any junk food (I told her) but she seemed to be extremely offended and upset when I didn't eat any of the junk.
  • suziecue66
    suziecue66 Posts: 1,312 Member
    It was a legit question to see if anyone else goes through it as well, I wasn't exactly sniveling? Just saying. She knows it's hard for me, and I asked her to stop doing this all the time, I don't want my kids eating so much sweets either.

    You have a right to tell her to stop doing it. Friends/family sabotage diets all the time. They don't like to see someone changing as it forces them to look at themselves.
  • HeatherHoskins
    HeatherHoskins Posts: 157 Member
    My Mother in law (who I see everyday) has only 1 response when I tell her about a hard workout I just finished " I have candy bars or cake for a treat. You deserve it". After about a month of me telling her "I can't eat that crap!!!" she gave up. She doesn't talk to me about my "diet" anymore. I don't think they do it on purpose, we just have to try to change their mind sets as we change ours. Good luck. Oh, if you eat even 1 when she brings them over then she will think she is doing a good thing. Yes it is ok to eat a cookie every once in a while but not hers. It may sound cruel but it will be harder for you to convince her if you eat her cookies.
  • ChaseAlder
    ChaseAlder Posts: 804 Member
    I'm very lucky... my husband is also trying to lose weight so our diet at home is wonderful. I have extended family nearby who is also on a diet, so whenever we all get together, everyone is very conscious of what is served. It's awesome!
  • suziecue66
    suziecue66 Posts: 1,312 Member
    Doubt she's trying to sabotage you unless she doesn't give a crap about her child and is an evil witch...which is unlikely. She just forgot.

    Congrats on resisting the temptation.

    LOL I JUST told her a couple hours before she came over.
    So, your mother is being wicked?
    If this is what you are saying, sever the relationship.
    Problem solved.

    That's just too harsh.
  • LucyFordxo
    LucyFordxo Posts: 62 Member
    I know what you're feeling.

    When I was still living at my parents house-anytime I or my Ma would go on a mission, my Father (WHO is a diabetic and would ALWAYS rub it in my Ma and I's face that he can't have sugar because it's bad for him. He was always really obnoxcious about it to our faces..and then we'd catch him hiding chocolate bars or binging on my Ma's 100 cal snack packs or something) would notriously bring home sweets and chips and offer them to us. This only happened when we annouced we were eating healthy!!!! It was SO frustrating. We kept telling him "IF YOU CAN'T EAT IT! EITHER CAN WE!!!!" but it didn't stop.

    One day I came home before my Ma-and I noticed that each of us had HUGE chocolate easter bunnies on our pillows (it was August by the way) and I threw them out!!!!

    I know darn well my Father loves us and wants us to be healthy...but some people (regardless of love..and all those fluffy feelings) are going to be a bit SICK when it comes to food, loved ones and changes.
  • It_never_ends
    It_never_ends Posts: 105 Member
    My friends and family are the same way. we go out I get something healthy and they mock me. I say no to junk and i'm "starving myself". They make me something and I don't want to eat it because i'm trying to lose weight and i'm rude? I feel so bad so I always give in, this is why i'm still fat. I try not to tell anyone that i'm dieting because I hate the guilt and pressure that comes with dieting.

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