Family is trying to sabotage my 'diet'

beccadaniixox

I agree on the whole not giving it up thing. On that note, I believe that when you have your treats should be on YOUR TERMS and not when someone brings over a bowl of them and makes you feel bad.

For example, at camp today they had brownies after lunch.. fresh baked and frosted.. the whole building smelt of chocolate. But I didn't give in to that, and instead I had cake from Publix tonight after dinner (Tomorrow it's back to pudding and berries!)

RuthSweetTooth

Yes you can control yourself. . . You lost 78 pounds . . ..that takes some amazing control! Congratulations!

Ruth

The whole world does not revolve around you and your diet.
Buck up!
Either control yourself around other people at dinner, or cancel all such events.
That is what I did except on my "free day".
I can't control myself. PERIOD!
And that means I no longer do family dinners or parties or anything except that one special day in the week where I can join the food orgy.
Do what you think is best, but again, don't snivel over people who are just being who they are.
Good Luck :flowerforyou:

saragato

To me, sabotage is when they're trying to force it down your throat regardless of whether they know or not. The fact she only brought them over and, as far as you've mentioned, didn't say "here try these they're delicious, I know you want one" then chances are she just wasn't thinking or if there's someone besides you in your home that enjoys these treats she may have thought of them. My Aunt will send home cake and other foods from a get together for my mother that I don't eat, doesn't mean she's sabotaging me.

It's your willpower. Like I said, unless she's trying to force it on you and I mean just about physically putting a forkful of something in your mouth despite saying "no", it's not sabotage. If you have problems resisting some foods, that's entirely on you, not the person that brought them in your presence.

And sorry if that sounds mean. I just find a lot of people blame others for their own shortcomings. We gotta take responsibility for ourselves in order to get anywhere.

melann1974

I know what you mean. My brother was in the hospital after a car wreck. I went up there everyday and stayed all day long. I packed snacks (low fat turkey meat, whole wheat pita bread, apples, pears, low fat string cheese). When I did go to the cafeteria, I tried to make the healthiest choice possible. My mom even comment that I had lost weight and wanted to know what I was doing. She was there every day also and saw (and I even shared) my healthy snacks. On day 4, she runs to the store to pick up snacks. She brings back donuts, Little Debbies, Pop Tarts, etc. Not one healthy snack. I didn't mind her bringing them, I can say no (and I am not usually tempted by sweets). But she seemed offended when I told her I didn't want any. She kept saying that she bought enough for me too. Before she went to the store, she knew about me trying to lose weight, she knew I didn't want any junk food (I told her) but she seemed to be extremely offended and upset when I didn't eat any of the junk.

suziecue66

It was a legit question to see if anyone else goes through it as well, I wasn't exactly sniveling? Just saying. She knows it's hard for me, and I asked her to stop doing this all the time, I don't want my kids eating so much sweets either.

You have a right to tell her to stop doing it. Friends/family sabotage diets all the time. They don't like to see someone changing as it forces them to look at themselves.

HeatherHoskins

My Mother in law (who I see everyday) has only 1 response when I tell her about a hard workout I just finished " I have candy bars or cake for a treat. You deserve it". After about a month of me telling her "I can't eat that crap!!!" she gave up. She doesn't talk to me about my "diet" anymore. I don't think they do it on purpose, we just have to try to change their mind sets as we change ours. Good luck. Oh, if you eat even 1 when she brings them over then she will think she is doing a good thing. Yes it is ok to eat a cookie every once in a while but not hers. It may sound cruel but it will be harder for you to convince her if you eat her cookies.

ChaseAlder

I'm very lucky... my husband is also trying to lose weight so our diet at home is wonderful. I have extended family nearby who is also on a diet, so whenever we all get together, everyone is very conscious of what is served. It's awesome!

suziecue66

Doubt she's trying to sabotage you unless she doesn't give a crap about her child and is an evil witch...which is unlikely. She just forgot.

Congrats on resisting the temptation.

LOL I JUST told her a couple hours before she came over.

So, your mother is being wicked?
If this is what you are saying, sever the relationship.
Problem solved.

That's just too harsh.

LucyFordxo

I know what you're feeling.

When I was still living at my parents house-anytime I or my Ma would go on a mission, my Father (WHO is a diabetic and would ALWAYS rub it in my Ma and I's face that he can't have sugar because it's bad for him. He was always really obnoxcious about it to our faces..and then we'd catch him hiding chocolate bars or binging on my Ma's 100 cal snack packs or something) would notriously bring home sweets and chips and offer them to us. This only happened when we annouced we were eating healthy!!!! It was SO frustrating. We kept telling him "IF YOU CAN'T EAT IT! EITHER CAN WE!!!!" but it didn't stop.

One day I came home before my Ma-and I noticed that each of us had HUGE chocolate easter bunnies on our pillows (it was August by the way) and I threw them out!!!!

I know darn well my Father loves us and wants us to be healthy...but some people (regardless of love..and all those fluffy feelings) are going to be a bit SICK when it comes to food, loved ones and changes.

It_never_ends

My friends and family are the same way. we go out I get something healthy and they mock me. I say no to junk and i'm "starving myself". They make me something and I don't want to eat it because i'm trying to lose weight and i'm rude? I feel so bad so I always give in, this is why i'm still fat. I try not to tell anyone that i'm dieting because I hate the guilt and pressure that comes with dieting.

vim_n_vigor

haha ruth! I might have one, but since I'm skipping my workout later, I dunno. I'm just pooped, i want my mom to go home so i can get my kids to bed and go myself lol

Maybe she really just wanted to spoil the grandkids and it isn't really all about you? :flowerforyou:

AmyFett

To me, sabotage is when they're trying to force it down your throat regardless of whether they know or not. The fact she only brought them over and, as far as you've mentioned, didn't say "here try these they're delicious, I know you want one" then chances are she just wasn't thinking or if there's someone besides you in your home that enjoys these treats she may have thought of them. My Aunt will send home cake and other foods from a get together for my mother that I don't eat, doesn't mean she's sabotaging me.

It's your willpower. Like I said, unless she's trying to force it on you and I mean just about physically putting a forkful of something in your mouth despite saying "no", it's not sabotage. If you have problems resisting some foods, that's entirely on you, not the person that brought them in your presence.

And sorry if that sounds mean. I just find a lot of people blame others for their own shortcomings. We gotta take responsibility for ourselves in order to get anywhere.

she offered them, cake and cookies each a good 5 times to me. I've told her many times I don't want my kids to eat a lot of sweets, ESPECIALLY before bed. She doesn't listen, at all. Then makes me look like the bad guy when I get upset about it. They're my kids, I just want what's best for them, and eating cake and cookies, and other sweet things every day isn't it. And Kool-aid.. ugh...

albayin

If you are close to your mother, I think you need to have a serious talk with her...If you are not that close...I guess it's hard...maybe she just didn't realize bringing in junk food is a super challenge to your willpower.

HotMamaByVday

haha ruth! I might have one, but since I'm skipping my workout later, I dunno. I'm just pooped, i want my mom to go home so i can get my kids to bed and go myself lol

AHH, kids! Are you sure she is not just bringing the sweets for the kids?

MFPBrandy

Am surprised to see so many "suck it up" type responses. I'm with you; it's frustrating when your family & friends -- the people that are supposed o be the most supportive -- ignore your wishes and specific requests. It's not like you're asking them to change their diet or not eat certain things around you. You're not crazy, you're not selfish, and you're not being unreasonable.

waffleflavoredtea

Just eat one cookie! You can't go through life never eating another one. That is not reasonable. In fact, I may just go have one right now, if I can find one. You could have one cookie every day and still work it into your calories. Abstinence is not the answer. Staying under while finding balance with things you view as treats while meeting nutrition needs will make you a happy dieter. Just tell her, I'll save the rest for a treat later.

I think her point is not that she can't eat cookies, it's that her family KNOWS she is dieting, and instead of bringing healthy, helpful things, her family brings things that will potentially hinder her or make her feel guilty for not eating. Maybe the OP already worked in a big slice of chocolate cake earlier that day and knows she'd be overdoing it and creating a bad insulin spike and drop by having another dessert... the point is that the OP should be able to decide for herself whether to have a treat, and her family can't just be like "oh, have a cookie or two, it's okay" because a lot of times we already treat ourselves, and we get to choose for ourselves the thing we are craving most.

My family loves eating Haagen Das ice cream with cookies and hot fudge on top, and for me this is NOT tempting or even a treat, it's basically a sabotage. When I crave something, I eat it, but just because my family is wanting to indulge in a treat doesn't mean I have to partake. I also am tempted to overeat on the wrong things in familial situations so I know it's best for me personally to be much more strict than usual with them, then go and enjoy myself in moderation later. It works well for me, and after explaining myself to them, I don't get any guilt-tripping when I spend time with them. You CAN train your family to recognize you as an individual with your own choices and feelings, but it usually takes a while.
I'm sure I over-commented... I'm in a writing mood tonight, I guess! :P

RuthSweetTooth

Perhaps you ought to call her about it tomorrow and have a talk? Food says love for alot of people. You could tell her to bring fruit or something else healthy for the kids. Oatmeal cookies are pretty good. Oh well, I need to go hunt down my cookie.

benich3043

The only person that can sabotage your diet is you. That's like saying "I went to the grocery store today and they had big bags of M&Ms on sale. Don't they know I love M&Ms but they tempt me with them anyway."

Even if you told her you were on a diet and trying to lose weight, maybe it was so you two could have one last hurrah before you officially started. Since you had only told her two hours prior she may have just been trying to be nice.

There is no guilt and pressure that come with dieting. Healthy habits, healthy lifestyle and better health in general come with with dieting. I know that with losing the weight, I have gained more confidence.

ShellyMacchi

I'm just pooped.

I read that as, "I just pooped."



I was very uncomfortable for a moment.

I'm so tired I had to read and re-read both statements to figure out the difference lol. I kept reading "I just pooped" too.

Now I forgot what the OP was about so I'm going to go eat and go to bed. Good night all!

LOL... THIS!!!

epmck11

Misery loves company. People who don't have the will power to control their own diets like to take down others with them.