Family is trying to sabotage my 'diet'
Replies
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haha ruth! I might have one, but since I'm skipping my workout later, I dunno. I'm just pooped, i want my mom to go home so i can get my kids to bed and go myself lol
Maybe she really just wanted to spoil the grandkids and it isn't really all about you? :flowerforyou:0 -
To me, sabotage is when they're trying to force it down your throat regardless of whether they know or not. The fact she only brought them over and, as far as you've mentioned, didn't say "here try these they're delicious, I know you want one" then chances are she just wasn't thinking or if there's someone besides you in your home that enjoys these treats she may have thought of them. My Aunt will send home cake and other foods from a get together for my mother that I don't eat, doesn't mean she's sabotaging me.
It's your willpower. Like I said, unless she's trying to force it on you and I mean just about physically putting a forkful of something in your mouth despite saying "no", it's not sabotage. If you have problems resisting some foods, that's entirely on you, not the person that brought them in your presence.
And sorry if that sounds mean. I just find a lot of people blame others for their own shortcomings. We gotta take responsibility for ourselves in order to get anywhere.
she offered them, cake and cookies each a good 5 times to me. I've told her many times I don't want my kids to eat a lot of sweets, ESPECIALLY before bed. She doesn't listen, at all. Then makes me look like the bad guy when I get upset about it. They're my kids, I just want what's best for them, and eating cake and cookies, and other sweet things every day isn't it. And Kool-aid.. ugh...0 -
If you are close to your mother, I think you need to have a serious talk with her...If you are not that close...I guess it's hard...maybe she just didn't realize bringing in junk food is a super challenge to your willpower.0
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haha ruth! I might have one, but since I'm skipping my workout later, I dunno. I'm just pooped, i want my mom to go home so i can get my kids to bed and go myself lol
AHH, kids! Are you sure she is not just bringing the sweets for the kids?0 -
Am surprised to see so many "suck it up" type responses. I'm with you; it's frustrating when your family & friends -- the people that are supposed o be the most supportive -- ignore your wishes and specific requests. It's not like you're asking them to change their diet or not eat certain things around you. You're not crazy, you're not selfish, and you're not being unreasonable.0
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I think her point is not that she can't eat cookies, it's that her family KNOWS she is dieting, and instead of bringing healthy, helpful things, her family brings things that will potentially hinder her or make her feel guilty for not eating. Maybe the OP already worked in a big slice of chocolate cake earlier that day and knows she'd be overdoing it and creating a bad insulin spike and drop by having another dessert... the point is that the OP should be able to decide for herself whether to have a treat, and her family can't just be like "oh, have a cookie or two, it's okay" because a lot of times we already treat ourselves, and we get to choose for ourselves the thing we are craving most.Just eat one cookie! You can't go through life never eating another one. That is not reasonable. In fact, I may just go have one right now, if I can find one. You could have one cookie every day and still work it into your calories. Abstinence is not the answer. Staying under while finding balance with things you view as treats while meeting nutrition needs will make you a happy dieter. Just tell her, I'll save the rest for a treat later.
My family loves eating Haagen Das ice cream with cookies and hot fudge on top, and for me this is NOT tempting or even a treat, it's basically a sabotage. When I crave something, I eat it, but just because my family is wanting to indulge in a treat doesn't mean I have to partake. I also am tempted to overeat on the wrong things in familial situations so I know it's best for me personally to be much more strict than usual with them, then go and enjoy myself in moderation later. It works well for me, and after explaining myself to them, I don't get any guilt-tripping when I spend time with them. You CAN train your family to recognize you as an individual with your own choices and feelings, but it usually takes a while.
I'm sure I over-commented... I'm in a writing mood tonight, I guess! :P0 -
Perhaps you ought to call her about it tomorrow and have a talk? Food says love for alot of people. You could tell her to bring fruit or something else healthy for the kids. Oatmeal cookies are pretty good. Oh well, I need to go hunt down my cookie.0
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The only person that can sabotage your diet is you. That's like saying "I went to the grocery store today and they had big bags of M&Ms on sale. Don't they know I love M&Ms but they tempt me with them anyway."
Even if you told her you were on a diet and trying to lose weight, maybe it was so you two could have one last hurrah before you officially started. Since you had only told her two hours prior she may have just been trying to be nice.
There is no guilt and pressure that come with dieting. Healthy habits, healthy lifestyle and better health in general come with with dieting. I know that with losing the weight, I have gained more confidence.0 -
I'm just pooped.
I read that as, "I just pooped."
I was very uncomfortable for a moment.
I'm so tired I had to read and re-read both statements to figure out the difference lol. I kept reading "I just pooped" too.
Now I forgot what the OP was about so I'm going to go eat and go to bed. Good night all!
LOL... THIS!!!0 -
Misery loves company. People who don't have the will power to control their own diets like to take down others with them.0
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Misery loves company. People who don't have the will power to control their own diets like to take down others with them.
Maybe true in some cases but I doubt her mother did that for this purpose...0 -
Am surprised to see so many "suck it up" type responses. I'm with you; it's frustrating when your family & friends -- the people that are supposed o be the most supportive -- ignore your wishes and specific requests. It's not like you're asking them to change their diet or not eat certain things around you. You're not crazy, you're not selfish, and you're not being unreasonable.
I agree. Youre not asking them to change their diet but folks feel bad. Start looking at the way they eat.0 -
I'm just pooped.
I read that as, "I just pooped."
I was very uncomfortable for a moment.
Thats too funny! :laugh:0 -
LOL OK I ate my 2 fig newtons and I'm still under!!!!!
I'm not going to go for a year without eating any cookies like I did last time I was on a diet. I want to be sustainable.0 -
The difference is that the M&Ms can't jump in the cart without your cooperation, and they don't follow you home and repeatedly shove themselves into your face saying "oh, just have one, what could it hurt?" like her mom is doing.The only person that can sabotage your diet is you. That's like saying "I went to the grocery store today and they had big bags of M&Ms on sale. Don't they know I love M&Ms but they tempt me with them anyway."0 -
The whole world does not revolve around you and your diet.
Buck up!
Either control yourself around other people at dinner, or cancel all such events.
That is what I did except on my "free day".
I can't control myself. PERIOD!
And that means I no longer do family dinners or parties or anything except that one special day in the week where I can join the food orgy.
Do what you think is best, but again, don't snivel over people who are just being who they are.
Good Luck :flowerforyou:
There is a difference between going to someone else's home and dealing with what is served there and having people bring things into your home. You have every right to say, please take that back to the car. You have every right to ask people to respect you and what you are trying to do IN YOUR OWN HOME.0 -
The difference is that the M&Ms can't jump in the cart without your cooperation, and they don't follow you home and repeatedly shove themselves into your face saying "oh, just have one, what could it hurt?" like her mom is doing.The only person that can sabotage your diet is you. That's like saying "I went to the grocery store today and they had big bags of M&Ms on sale. Don't they know I love M&Ms but they tempt me with them anyway."
I know "THEY (M&Ms) DO EXIST". LOL0 -
I'm just pooped.
I read that as, "I just pooped."
I was very uncomfortable for a moment.
bahaha me to!!!0 -
The whole world does not revolve around you and your diet.
Buck up!
Either control yourself around other people at dinner, or cancel all such events.
That is what I did except on my "free day".
I can't control myself. PERIOD!
And that means I no longer do family dinners or parties or anything except that one special day in the week where I can join the food orgy.
Do what you think is best, but again, don't snivel over people who are just being who they are.
Good Luck :flowerforyou:
Wow kinda harsh huh? Her mother brought them into her house after she told her she was trying to lose weight. I think it'd be different if she went to her mother's and the stuff was there. But in her own home she should not have to buck up!0 -
My husband said the words, "I want a Twinkie right now" last night. I really hate him for that. It ruined the rest of my night! Good thing we haven't had Twinkies in the pantry since around 2007. lol!0
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My mom does the same thing when she comes over! Then again, she also regards my getting fit as an obsession. I tell her it's more of a hobby. You scrapbook, I lose weight.0
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That's just too harsh.
lol, for real right? My mom raised me alone, but i'm gonna just cut her off from my life because she subconsciously wants me to stay fat lolol0 -
My husband and son are rail thin and they are always bringing sweet's and chocolate to me. They just forget that I am dieting. They aren't trying to be mean, they really do forget sometimes. I let my kids eat sweet's and drink kool aid when they were younger as long as they ate their dinner. They don't have a weight problem they are 15 and 18 now they are thin... Hey, I ate the same thing's when I was a kid and I didn't get fat till I turned 34.... pretty good run I think.. LOL I think it's ok for your kids to have a little bit of junk food you know? That is one of the great things about being a kid....
MY OPINION of course... 0 -
LOL OK I ate my 2 fig newtons and I'm still under!!!!!
I'm not going to go for a year without eating any cookies like I did last time I was on a diet. I want to be sustainable.
This is the best way to lose weight and then maintain. OP you could try and save up some calories when your mother is coming over so you can partake in some of her offerings. Some folks though need to go cold turkey as feel like eating something junky reactivates cravings and they go hog wild. This happens to me but long term need to deal with it because you can't eat clean all your life.0 -
I would laugh and accept the big bowl of cookies and cake and tell mom, "Hey thanks so much, but I've eating healthy these days. "But, I'll donate your cookies and cake to the local food share ~ I'm sure they will enjoy them." I doubt she'll keep baking such treats. Your mother must be insecure herself. Why else would she want her on daughter to be unhealthy and insecure...???0
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I'm a vegetarian and it never fails that my mom brings and offers me meat during each of her weekly visits. I've had years to try out every kind of reminder and rejection I could think of. I've shouted, screamed, sounded patient, thankful, used logic, etc. She still does it. Maybe it's mom-brain. They have an overwhelming desire to comfort you and it overrides there common sense or something. I sometimes smother my son in kisses and am deaf to his initial screams to stop.
This^^
moms and grandmas all do it...0 -
actually i've had to deal with this issue but with my boyfriend. for example, last night we went to his game and at the game, there was this pizza from a local pizza place. After every bite, he emitted literal moans of enjoyment and kept asking "why don't you want some" or saying "mm this is the best pizza i've ever had". I'm pretty patient, but halfway through the second drippy slice i finally said, "are you trying to make this harder for me? I clearly ate dinner before we left because I didn't want to eat pizza and we even had a conversation about this."
i'm not sure what drove him to behave this way, i'm pretty sure it was unconcious overenjoyment of pizza. BUT, it still irked me.
In retrospect, maybe he was encouraging me to eat the pizza because he knows it is literally my favorite food and wanted to share the experience of this "divine" pizza with me. On the other hand, why can't he just get i don't want the freakin pizza?!?!?!0 -
Then STOP INVITING MOM OVER!The whole world does not revolve around you and your diet.
Buck up!
Either control yourself around other people at dinner, or cancel all such events.
That is what I did except on my "free day".
I can't control myself. PERIOD!
And that means I no longer do family dinners or parties or anything except that one special day in the week where I can join the food orgy.
Do what you think is best, but again, don't snivel over people who are just being who they are.
Good Luck :flowerforyou:
Wow kinda harsh huh? Her mother brought them into her house after she told her she was trying to lose weight. I think it'd be different if she went to her mother's and the stuff was there. But in her own home she should not have to buck up!
Am I the only person living a simple life?0 -
This is what I mean.. I've said it before, this is why I don't generally tell family I'm TRYING to lose weight. My mom comes over for dinner tonight. She brings a big bowl of cookies and a cake. It's like what the heck? She knows I don't want that junk, she knows it's hard to say no to chocolate chip cookies, but still. You'd think she'd want to help, or support me... Bleh
and NO I didn't have any!! :laugh:
Anyone else go through this too? It's driving me bonkers.
I would have had one. or two. with milk to dunk it in. the cookies. cake dunked in milk doesn't work.0 -
I love those commercials.
The difference is that the M&Ms can't jump in the cart without your cooperation, and they don't follow you home and repeatedly shove themselves into your face saying "oh, just have one, what could it hurt?" like her mom is doing.The only person that can sabotage your diet is you. That's like saying "I went to the grocery store today and they had big bags of M&Ms on sale. Don't they know I love M&Ms but they tempt me with them anyway."
I know "THEY (M&Ms) DO EXIST". LOL 0
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