Question for the Men

Jebbster007

Ladies, lets b honest, speaking as a man there r only a small number of reasons why a guy wont have...relations

His junk dont work
He thinks ur ugly
Hes gay
Hes cheating

Thats it, end of story

Correct order would be:

He's gay
His junk doesn't work
He's cheating
He thinks you're ugly

Because unless it is #1, he'd still try.

Actually you left out.....he's addicted to porn. And any man who ever actually HAS been addicted to porn will tell you that the real thing becomes much less satisfying/arousing. When you immerse yourself in a fantasy world where women never have any needs of their own, they are ready for sex at the drop of a hat, they are satisfied in 3 seconds and then invite 4 of their female friends over so that you can have sex with them too, that has a very chilling effect on real life married sex. The reality can never ever compete with the fantasy if one is truly addicted.

I'm not saying that's it....I was more responding to the above poster.

I agree with this. ^^ There is one thing for a man to occasionally look at it, and it's another to be full on addicted where sex in real life loses all satisfaction. My husband had an issue with this years ago. Given, a LOT was going on in our life (his father passed away, we split up and got back together what seemed like every month for 6 months) so his casual tendencies became an addiction. I would offer him sex all the time and he never seemed interested. Once he realized how deep porn drew him in (no pun intended) he knocked it ALL cold turkey. I was very hurt during this. I then became uninterested. Even though he was no longer viewing it, I still felt like I was being compared to those girls and what they looked like and how their bodies looked. The tables were then turned where he began asking 10x more. It's been 2.5 years and we are now back to a very great and healthy place. But I think you should deff talk to him!

that's a great story, Sharyn. Thanks for sharing that. Hard at the time I'm sure but I'm glad you worked through it with him. I really think the vast majority of people out there underestimate how damaging a porn addiction can be to a marriage or how difficult it is to break. Of course, I know a lot of people on this site where both parties are totally into it and in that case.....well.....I really don't have enough schooling to address it....LOL.

All kidding aside, deep down, I still think it's damaging over the long term but because both parties want it, you don't really see the damage until it's full blown....no pun intended.....sheesh, fully blown.....I gotta work on getting a deeper vocabulary....lol.

mtaylor33557

Ladies, lets b honest, speaking as a man there r only a small number of reasons why a guy wont have...relations

His junk dont work
He thinks ur ugly
Hes gay
Hes cheating

Thats it, end of story

Seriously?? How about he works 70+ hours a week? I know there are some days my husband will come home from a 14 hour day and he can barely keep his eyes open and literally collapses in the bed?

Or how about you have a three year old you are trying to potty train and he just pooped his underwear, tried to clean it up by himself, and his floor, his clothes and his body are covered in poop? Maybe after spending 20 minutes cleaning everything, he may be gay or think I'm ugly... but to say these are the only reasons are just absurd.

That last paragraph is so true. This happened to us this week. We had been playfully bantering and talking about "bedtime" all evening, and right before its time to put our son to bed he has an accident of sorts, and we have to handle clean up.. kind of put a damper on us at that time..

But really, I think it just slows down some after kids. Or it did for us. We were every day kind of folks, then it went down to twice a week, and now occasionally we only make once a week. We both really want to, but we are just over extended with work, church obligations, taking care of the kid, taking care of the house, taking care of the animals, trying to fit in work out times... it just doesn't happen as often. I don't think that means anything negative.

FinallyFindingLisa

Sex is very important in a marriage but what's more important is communication. You need to talk this through, hash it out. Few people have identical sex drives...you may want it every day while he is content with twice a week. He may want it twice a week while you prefer twice a month. There are even marriages where people only engage twice a year!! So frequency is not as important as uniting on a preference you both can agree on and be satisfied by. This is your husband, the father of your children, you need to talk to him about it. When you are reaching out to strangers on the internet, there has been a communication breakdown in your marriage.

This!!! 26 years worth of ups and downs, in and out of the bedroom - talk to him

Unknown

He just may be having personal issues,communication is key.

calvert6183

He just may be having personal issues,communication is key.

I agree with this. People never know how to talk communicate with people anymore. Being tired, busy cheating, stressed out, addicted to tv/video games, addicted to texting,or busy with work is not an excuse. It takes just as much effort to talk to their friends and post on here as much as it does to talk (not fuss) to the person who is actually in the relationship with.