Dating! EEEK!
Replies
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Indigo, thank you so much for posting on this thread. It's been a rough old lead up to this point but just you see that you don't give up hoping eh? If someone like me can find their other half then you certainly wont have any problems at all. Just keep your eyes and your mind wide open. And remember that there is nothing at all wrong with making allowances for people, they are after all only human, just as you are. Give yourself a break and accept that you are gorgeous, inside and out and that one day the right person will come along and agree with you!! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: But as soon as the allownaces become excuses just remind yourself that that is what they are!
:bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:
That's so nice of you to say, thank you! And thank you for sharing your story with us, I love seeing couples in love because it gives me hope I will find someone too
Anyway, my big news is...
Today would have been the 2 year anniversary for me and my ex - so I celebrated by joining a dating site! :laugh: I've had 1 message already and 4 people have added me to their favourites, so it's looking good!
Woohoo!
Don't break *to* many hearts Indigo...
:happy:
-J
Ooh, thanks! :blushing:0 -
Well hang on to your hats folks!!! :laugh: I think it's time for an update here!
Where to begin?? He's been staying the night since last friday (I know I know, it may seem a bit quick but when you know you know ,right???) and OMG I had forgotten what it was like to be in bed with someone! :smooched: :laugh: :laugh:
I can't see my life without him now and he has been sooo good for my kids, it's unreal! The 'M' word has even been broached! eeek! Not quite ready for that all just yet! lol But everything is sooo easy and comfortable around him, well, not everything(:laugh: ), that would be a bit odd don;t you think?? :laugh:
Deep breath...... lol
It looks like in the very (very, very!) near future I'll not be single and living on my own with my kids anymore!! He's already moved some of his stuff in. Nothing major just bits of clothes and stuff. It just seemed silly to have him spend loads of money on a flat when he'd be at my house most of the itme anyway. :smooched:
So there you are guys, in a nutshell....
Loved up or what??
Take care out there. :flowerforyou: 0 -
I just found this and read every page. That is SO great that you found your Mr. Right. I'm so happy for you!!!!!!
Please keep us all updated. Now I'm hooked!!! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
That's GREAT news! I love a happy ending! Make sure you post the wedding pics on here
As for me, things are looking up! I've started chatting to some guys on this dating site and a few of them look promising, no dates yet but it's only been a couple of weeks, so hopefully soon!
Grumpymoo, I know what you mean about the bed thing and forgetting what it's like - it's only been a couple of months for me but it feels like a couple of years! :laugh:0 -
Hi guys.
Major update time again! Now that I have had my computer properly fixed after it keeps dying on me!! grrr. :laugh:
Darren has officially moved in, :smooched: all that is left is the money stuff to sort out. :grumble: I hate that it is so complicated to merge two lives and their baggage. His daughter is staying with us at the weekends now too and it seems to be all far to smooth. or else this time round I'm just not getting all het upo over the stuff that really doesn't matter.
Oooooo and sharing a bed!!!! How bizzarre is it to do this after being used to having the whole space to yourself for soooo long????? Do you ever get used to it folks??lol
I thought I'd be all freaked out over having to find spaces for all his stuff and getting used to sharing a shower/ single bathroom with someone other than my kids.lololol :laugh: :laugh:
Will post a few pics of the man and I in my proflie sometime soon (don't want to freak the computer out completely just yet! Ease it back into normal usage slowly this time I think!!!)
So there you are, all is going well in the land of the Dating Mini Series. If this can give any of you hope out there then I will have considered myself lucky to have been of help. You all deserve to be happy, so never give up.
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: 0 -
Oh there you are! I didn't see your last post or two and I've been wondering where you are and how you're doing. Looks like you're doing just fine. :happy: So glad things are working out for you. Can't wait to see pics of you and your man. Keep us posted. :bigsmile:0
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WOW!!! Just found this thread!!!
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!! You are too cute, and woohoo for you and your honey!!!
Makes me remember meeting my sweetie on Yahoo Personals and all the fun things we've done since then.....yay! :smooched: :drinker: :smooched: :drinker:
Have a great weekend baby!!0 -
As I always say, practice what I preach...or take my own advice..but here goes. If you dont have confidence in yourself, then he wont. You obviously have an attraction there and you are a pretty girl, and if he doesnt see that kick him to the curb. Be proud and happy to be you!!!! even if you cant seem to muster up the courage, FAKE IT!!!! the rest will follow.0
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Coralie,
Wow! I am sooo happy for you! :flowerforyou:
It is soo awesome that you found such a great match for you.
Good luck with everything and keep us posted.
Nicky0 -
Hi Guys.:brokenheart: Yep, seems I'm to be single again....
Major shoulder to lean on moment here....
Darren walked out on me. Middle of the night, not a word just a ridiculous note and an email which was just as ridiculous. I suppose the only way to look at it is irreconcilable differences. From being blissful with the odd normal hiccup to, this, single again, in one day. How bizarre! But hey, I suppose it was better this early on than further down the road.
Just waiting now for him to come back and get his stuff. Not looking forward to this conversation, but there is no way I am going to let him back in after this. I have got to think about my kids and there is no way, ever, that I would let him back in to hurt us all again. :mad: Part of me want to be fair but the rest of me says... "No way. It's not my problem. He made this choice, he can live with the consequences." And afterall I packed up all his stuff last night so no going back now. Firm resolve, no soft heartedness.
So, apologies to everyone out there who gave me such fantastic encouragement all the way through this thread, only to have it turn out like this. :blushing:
Righto, kids to school, life goes on huh?
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: 0 -
Yep better now than later. The world if full of others, head up and go out there! I'd like to meet someone special too and know that sometime I will. Enjoy your life right now :happy: he's best forgotten and put down to experience. Best of luck:flowerforyou:0
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Thanks for the sympathy Chilli.
I'm just glad I've got my kids and the perspective to know that life does go on.
So.... a list of Pro points for the single life please everyone!!
:flowerforyou:0 -
Here you are, love-
Top 10 things about being single
1. You can make last-minute plans with your friends and stay out all night if you want.
2. You can lie on both sides of your bed and have all the covers to yourself.
3. You can flirt with the opposite sex without someone saying, "
Who are you looking at?
Who are you looking at?"
4. You can make your own decisions.
5. You don't have to remember your significant other's birthday or anniversary.
6. You have no one to clean up after.
7. You can leave the toilet seat permanently up if you're a man, or permanently down if you're a woman.
8. You can make a list of things you always wanted to do...and actually do them.
9. You can listen to your favorite radio station in the car.
10. You can actually hold on to the remote control.
Best of luck in your dating life, when you're ready to get back out there again- who knows, maybe the next one will look like this! 
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((hugs))0
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Sorry about all this!! Best of luck to you!!! :flowerforyou:
-Tam0 -
I have just read every post. It was like reading a book. It' will happen for you eventually. I've been single for 1 1/2 years and i HATE dating, it sucks...but i guess it's a necessary evil, so i wish you luck and stay strong.0
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I'm so sorry things didn't work out. I wish you the best of luck. You seem to have a positive attude instead of becoming bitter and that's a good thing. God bless you. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
Betty0 -
yummy man we have similar tastes!!!Here you are, love-
Top 10 things about being single
1. You can make last-minute plans with your friends and stay out all night if you want.
2. You can lie on both sides of your bed and have all the covers to yourself.
3. You can flirt with the opposite sex without someone saying, "
Who are you looking at?
Who are you looking at?"
4. You can make your own decisions.
5. You don't have to remember your significant other's birthday or anniversary.
6. You have no one to clean up after.
7. You can leave the toilet seat permanently up if you're a man, or permanently down if you're a woman.
8. You can make a list of things you always wanted to do...and actually do them.
9. You can listen to your favorite radio station in the car.
10. You can actually hold on to the remote control.
Best of luck in your dating life, when you're ready to get back out there again- who knows, maybe the next one will look like this!
You will get back on the dating bandwagon and find someone who loves you for you!!! Dont get discouraged0 -
I'm sorry it didn't work out but like you said "Better now than later".....
chalk it up to practice for when the real "Mr. Right" comes along.
Good Luck! :flowerforyou:0 -
Awww, I'm so sorry to hear of this. It's his loss!!!! You'll be fine. You are as cute on the outside as you are beautiful on the inside. You just haven't found the one that is smart enough to realize that. Hang in there, he's out there somewhere!!!!
Memaw0 -
Well hi folks! Felt an update was needed. I apologise cos it's going to be a long one!
A huge, huge heartfelt thank you to all of you who replied to this thread since my last post (Memaw, breanix, awd, mommared and all of the rest.) You are all fantastic and your responses all made me cry. A lot!
Where was I?? Ah, yes. I had decided that the man had burnt his bridges and that I was going to be all hard and decisive about it all. Best laid plans huh?? WEll, the upshot is that I hadn't taken into account how 3 days of not eating anything and the stress and having a really bad head cold was going to affect me when it came to the crunch. This is also not taking into account just how soft hearted I can be at the worst moments. Yep, you guessed it, he's still here. And at the moment I'm not sure it was the best decision. But if you care to read on I hope I've explained things ok. And that you all won't think too badly of me at the end of it.
So he turns up and I wasn't sure how he was going to react (one of my friends (one who is now not my friend because of all this, who knew huh?) had told me to be prepared for the worst and change the locks and get my eldest daughter ready to phone the police if needed, slightly over dramatic but then you never can tell huh??) when he got to the house to get his things. He just looked at me when I let him in. I didn't know what to do or say but I was holding onto how hurt and angry he made me feel the night before and what he said in his email (which was basically that he knew it was over and that he was moving out asap and i wasn't to try and persuade him to stay) and trying not to let all the nausea get the better of me, cos I'm really not good in stressful situations at all, mind goes blank, stomach churns ,i shake uncontrollably and it usually ends up with me throwing up (sorry guys!lol).
After a few minutes of feeling like this and him asking why i packed his stuff and me just saying what other conclusion had he left me with, he goes upstairs to start collecting his boxes of stuff from our room at the top of the house. I eventually followed him up. Not sure exactly why, maybe I had already decided that he wasn't moving out and just hadn't admitted it to myself. Whatever the case I felt he deserved to explain himself at the very least. I ended up sitting on the end of the bed while he shifted his stuff round (real classic delaying tactics!huh??lol) and we gradually start talking after I asked him point blank why the hell he left in the middle of the night. Why not sleep on the sofa? He couldn't tell me except that he said he felt 'constrained'. That he felt he couldn't say what he needed to to my kids. He'd had a minor moment with my son, who is 10, over a program on the telly (he'd wanted to watch the cricket and my son was watching a cartoon that I had said he could watch) and like the children that they both are they squabbled over it. He won in the end, with very poor grace, after I said that we would check the scores and that when he went back out to finish working on his car (cos this is where he had been for hours, hence not having the cricket on indoors) my son could go back to the cartoons for a little while before bed. But as he said it to me that step kids will always end up resenting the step parent and that there is nothing you can do about it. And that the real parent will always side with the kids, etc etc... And there had been a dozen little things all day that I'm sure added to it all in his head.
And this was why he left in the middle of the night with only a silly note and an email. What a ridiculous thing to have happen over something so minor. Like 3 days before when he and I rowed over who was going to sleep on the sofa as my cold was causing me to snore badly and was keeping him awake. He got really huffy after coming to bed (after telling me earlier that as it was not my fault and that as I couldn't help it I shouldn't worry about it) and stropped off to sleep on the sofa and I went after him and said that as I was causing the problem that I should sleep on the sofa so he could get a good night's sleep. Cos he hadn't slept the night before because of it. After 10 minutes of trying to persuade him that I was right and that it was the fair thing to do I eventually gave up and went back to bed. He came up a few minutes later and got dressed and said he would see me tomorrow sometime. He ended up staying after I followed him and basically begged him not to walk out over something so silly.
Now every time he goes off somewhere or stays up late to watch the telly, after we've had a few cross looks at each other over something silly, then part of me is waiting for him to do the same thing. Added to that is the stress of not feeling like I can talk to him about the big stuff we need to talk about, like money. And the fact that he doesn't contribute to the household running (or cleaning!!). He holds this distance between us and I don't know how to break it down (or if I've even got the energy to try to). Surely it shouldn't be this hard to adjust to someone else living with you? All the money should go into a communal pot to cover bills and stuff and what's left is for everything else?? But no. He keeps his money very firmly separate and every now and again when I bring it up he asks 'do i need some money?'. And yet I buy the food, pay the rent, the gas and electricity etc from my own money (money I get for my kids, I know this must be hard for a man to cope with, not being the 'provider'and everything) and cook all his meals and end up doing all this for his daughter too, whom we have about 3 days a week. Usually with no notice, but as soon as his ex snaps her fingers off he goes and nope no sign of divorce proceedings yet. I've told him that I won't stay with someone who has no intention of getting divorced (yep, remember the last guy I went out on dates with? Jon? I won't go there again. Ever.) I am a huge believer in 'actions speaking louder than words'. Unfortunately for me, words come too easily to him. It's so easy to say that this is this and that is that and we are going to do this or that and that if some things were different then this or that would happen. Uh uh. Rubbish, if you want something to happen, you make it happen. Inaction is what speaks louder than everything else. Well, it does in my humble opinion. Not that I can't take circumstances into account. I'm well aware that we all have to have dreams and goals. Why be alive if not??
I can see the issue of his daughter being a big problem if I can't talk to him about it soon. I know why he puts her above everything else, and also why he spends lots of money on her. But when I am going out of my way to make both of them feel included in our family life, even when I can't afford to (like on my kids birthdays, we always do something that person wants to do like bowling and then have whatever that person wants as a treat for tea, whether it is to eat out or a favourite meal in) which I haven't been able to do since he moved in, I've always made sure it included the both of them so no one feels left out or excluded (you know, in a 'them and us' kind of way) so when he talks about what the two of them are going to do together and the places he is going to take her for her birthday, it makes me more than a little cross. And then there are the things he does just with her, no thought of making it an entire family thing. I know she needs time to adjust and that he is still in the over compensation stage of his marriage breakdown and that there are times when they will need time together just to reconnect, but all the time???? To the exclusion of all and everyone else? And his view that he is a really hard parent and is all 'draconian' in his beliefs? Rubbish, she only has to pout and gets whatever she wants. Very typical only child behaviour. I in no way blame her, she is only a product of her childhood. But him? Yes, I do blame him. And myself for not telling him how I see it. I also am partly waiting for the day he says that he's going to give it another go with his ex, not really because he wants to but mainly so that he can have more contact with his daughter.
Is he taking the piss out of me (sorry for being blunt!) or does admitting there are underlying reasons to it all and that life very rarely runs smooth and hoping that eventually we will work it all out, make me weak? I very much fear that to most people it does indeed make me a doormat. I know I'm not perfect but all I can say in my defence is that I don't react well to stress (and my goodness, since he moved in there has been little but stress) and I can be a bit moody sometimes especially when I need to talk about something but don't how it will be taken.
I've gone round and round all of this so often in my head that none of it makes sense any more. What I do know is that when things are good between us they are better than perfect, like two soul mates perfectly in accord and going in the same direction (we are scarily similar in lots of ways). But when things aren't going well, and we are at odds, usually over something i need to say about money or his daughter, things are totally strained and weird. I love him more than I could possibly put into words and I know he feels the same for me but are we fundamentally too different or at two different places in our life?? I don't expect him to be perfect, that would be far too boring and unrealistic. And even over the big stuff, some differences of opinion can be good, productive even. So at what point do I call it a day? I wonder sometimes if the distance that he holds between us is him just waiting for me to tell him it's over, so that he doesn't have to.
I'm sure a lot of this could be sorted by a huge 'conversation' I know, and I also know that if he decides to leave I will cope, and that my kids will cope. Eventually. But what I also know is that if I walk away now before giving this the full chance to become a great relationship, that I'm sure it can become, then I will never go down this road again. Couldn't open myself and my kids up to it all again.
It would be so much easier if it was a clear cut case of he has done this or that wrong (i.e. cheated on me or hit me or the kids, or even if the kids really didn't get on with him at all) and he should get out, but life is rarely that simple is it?? Or is it? Maybe it's just me making excuses again. Can two people love each other this much and still be not meant to be together??
:sick:
Well, blimey!!! Folks I'm so sorry this turned into such a huge thing! And I only hope I haven't bored you all rigid with my problems yet again. But you all give such good, reasonable advice and now that my one and only and best friend has cut me out of her life I really need someone to give me aood kick up the backside or pat me on the head and tell me it'll all work out ok. I really don't mind which it is.:laugh:
Ok. Take care out there in diet land.
Oh! Nearly foprgot in all the waffle over my rubbish love life! Huge news tho. One good thing has come of this whole thing!! I've lost loads of weight thorugh all the stress!lolololol Nearly a whole stone. Nearly 14 pounds! Yay, go me! And all of you too!
Lots of love to all.:flowerforyou: 0 -
Oh and Manda?? Perfect advice! Perfect man!!! Got his number???:laugh:
:flowerforyou:0 -
Well Sweetie, this is just my opinion but the bottom line is the man is still married; drop him like a hot potato. Really, I don't mean to be so blunt and I know you're hurting and I'm so sorry about that. I wish I could be there to give you a big hug. I'm sorry your friend deserted you the way she did. Your MFP family won't. I did read the whole post and I really feel for you and your kids. It just sounds like this man is not as dedicated to the relationship as you are. As far as the stepkids/stepfather situation and the mom always taking side with the kids, not true. (My daughter and her ex-husband are both remarried and neither set of families are experiencing that problem. They all work together.) It sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. Whatever you decide you know your MFP family will stand by you. But think if it was one of your children grown up and going through this situation. What advice would you give to your child. I just wish the best for you and you have to make your own decisions. I'll be praying for you. Please keep us informed and know that whatever decision you make we will stand with you. Take care of yourself. Lots of love to you. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
Betty0 -
So sorry all this is going on!! I agree with mommared though. You need to drop him. If he gets that upset and leaves over those silly things, then he is NOT reliable. And yes, he should be contributing to the household. Trust me, if he's not at this point, he never will. This sounds like a very stressful relationship for you and I think you need to step back and boot him out for awhile. I think you will be much happier in the long run. Plus, hanging on to this loser (sorry :flowerforyou: ) will cheat you out of meeting the ONE that is still out there looking for you. The one who will be loving and understanding. The one who will not only contribute to the household, but will treat you to things too. The one who will love your kids and treat them well and not spat with them. You know, the one who is grown up and all!! Whatever you end out doing, we are here for you and hoping for the best for you!!:flowerforyou:0
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Oh boy!
I just want to say that even though he hasn't cheated on you (or hit u or the kids) does not mean that he isn't abusive (emotionally)
Saying he is going to leave, walking out, leaving note, playing with your emotionss etc
I might be off base here, but it sounds like he runs the show....when he's nice, things are good...and when he is a jerk....well
I understand people make mistakes and everyone needs a second chance, but I also think it shouldn't be THIS hard so soon
If red flags are going up everywhere, I think it's best for you and the kids to be strong and end it now....
Evaluate exactly why you are with him and if it's for the right reasons...is this someone u want as an example to your children..a good role model?
Good luck....i truely wish you and your family the best!
Kim0 -
TOTALLY agree with everyone!!!
I feel so bad for you right now and my thoughts and prayers are with you. You need to be strong. He is very much emotionally abusive and that isn't good. For you or your children. You need to run....run fast.... get out while you can, if not for yourself for your kids. If nothing else tells you to drop
him, remember HE IS STILL MARRIED!! and anyone that runs out in the middle of the night isn't all that mature and you need someone that is and that can talk and that doesn't have that attitude about "step children" that he does. You deserve better. Remember that. Although it is great that you have lost tons of weight, that isnt' the way you should be losing it. Stay strong there are good men out there.
You are in my thoughts
Traci0 -
Thanks guys. :brokenheart: Again!lol :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
K. Big sigh and ....start typing....:sad:
He and I sat down last night to have a good talk about everything that has been going on and after a good 2 hours of this, he ended up really losing his rag and was 2 inches from my face screaming and swearing at me. Sadly there are some things that he said (or rather screamed ) about me that I agree with ( I am lacking in ambition, I'm not setting the best example for my kids by sitting at home and not doing anything with my life, I do let people walk all over me, I have no 'fire in my guts', rarely stand up for myself, rely too much on other people to help make my decisions for me, have no brain of my own, I constrain myself from speaking up about things most people wouldn't even think a second before saying and that if I carry on like this then I will always remain a victim) but it really, really highlighted for me the fact that fundamentally we are poles apart. Fire and water. And he cannot accept that any way but his is valid. And that is the saddest part of the whole thing. He and I could have had a fantastic relationship for a very long time if he was only more tolerant of differences in personallity, temperament and ambition. I find it a strange outlook for a therapist and counsellor.
He wants me (and my kids) to become more like him, and I can partly see where he is coming from, just not how he sees going about the changes, he has this fantasticly incredible fire and energy and driving ambition that I really do envy. He is like a huge bonfire at times, a bit scary and out of control, and yet at others he is so much like a warming hearth fire, you just want to cuddle up and toast your toes on him. But I am just not built that way (too watery, I can be scary and calming too, myself but not in his way) not yet anyway (perhaps one day I will 'get' what he has been saying and it will all become clear to me), I only know that I prefer to end up somewhere quietly. I still get there in the end though, usually after seeking lots of differing opinions and then drawing my own conclusions on the matter (something that apparently makes me brainless without the capacity for independant thought). If only it were just that this is not in the way he thinks I should go about it. And that because I do this I open myself up to being walked all over. Just as he has done to me himself and THAT is what I'm holdiing onto just now when all I want to do is break down and cry all over my keyboard!!lol
. If he loved me as much as he says he does and wanted only the best for me then would he still feel inclined to use me as a doormat however much I offer it to him??? Surely he would turn around and say 'Hey. You don;t need to do that with me. Just let me get on and help you, let me contribute'?? Shouldn't he??
So the upshot is that he is moving out. More than likely sometime today. He's gone off just now to find a place for all his stuff. I have a sneaking suspicion that that place will be with his ex. After all he has already proved to himself that he can maintain himself and do his studies under the same roof as this woman. And at least he will get to see his daughter all the time again. But, I could be being needlessly harsh and maligning him by saying that. Perhaps he really has had enough of the physical and emotional abuse she made his life, with her, hell because of, and will find himself a place on his own to start his life afresh with no distractions and he can be quite happily selfish with his time and not hurt anyone else in the process.
So. No change of heart this time. Gone too far for that. I truly only want what is best for him (but at the same time I want that for me and my kids too) and he is the type of person that will only ever be held back by someone like me (he NEEDS to be selfish about his studies and his intended carreer. I had hoped to be a part of that future:sick: ). What is that saying?? 'If you love something set it free'?? And as I DO love him (rightly or wrongly, I really don;t know at this point) then he has got to go and acheive his goals and he cannot do that whilst staying with me. It would tear the both of us up and I won't do that to my kids. Cos they would ultimately be the ones to suffer.
So, sigh...again. Hopefully this is the last installment of my 'Dating. The Learning Curve' drama. But hey, life goes on, I will be a different person from here on in. Not in the way he wants but in a way that I can still be proud of myself at the end of, knowing that I haven't crushed anyone on my way to getting there. :grumble:
I would like to say a huge and heartfelt thanks
To;- momathome for her thoughts and prayers, people like her make the world go around in a nicer way.And I agree on the losing weight thing...but! At least something positive will come of all this.lol :flowerforyou:
To;- kimber. You are spot on, he is much too much a child who has to have everything his own way all the time:explode:
To;- MontanaGirl. I hope you are right. And that I have the good fortune to recognise the right man at the right time without letting this experience taint my view of men.:grumble:
To;- mommared. You are a rock. Always give great advice. I'm sorry to not have been listening hard enough earlier on. You too make the world that bit better just by being in it.:flowerforyou:
Righto folks. Off to make my kids some lunch and hopefully begin the process of taping the bits of my heart back together agin in some kind of order that resembles how it looked in the beginning! :laugh:
Take care out there. 0 -
I'm so sorry your heart is breaking, I really am but after reading just the first sentence of your post my first thought was "dump his a**!" (Please forgive me Lord for the swear word) You are such a sweet person and you don't deserve to be abused in that way. Because that's exactly what getting up into someone's face and screaming and cussing at them is. Abuse! You don't need that and neither do your children. You seem to be such an intelligent and head on straight person. Too bad he couldn't see what a wonderful person you are and accept the differences without trying to change you into what he thinks you should be.
I'm blessed to be able to know you through this site and I hope you stay around for a long time. You're part of the MFP family and not just because of your dating drama. Please keep us informed of how you're doing with your weight loss, too. The comment you wrote about me was one of the nicest things anyone has ever said about me and I love you for that.
I'm sure one day you will meet the right man for you and he'll see the special, wonderful person you are and he'll accept you and love you for who you are, not who he thinks you should be. In the mean time keep your head up and know that you are a wonderful, worthwhile person. Give those kids an extra hug and kiss and keep in contact with you MRP family. We love you.
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
Betty0 -
Keep your head up...:)) You are a GREAT person and deserve so much more out of life. Just think.....if he is getting up in your face screaming like that over this what else is he capable of? It is better he is gone.
I was a single mom for 7 years. My husband walked out on me and my 2year old and 7month old. I didn't know what I was going to do with myself. I was an at home mom and never bother getting an education (higher than highschool). I desided then that I was going to put my self through school and make something of my life (for me and my kids). I struggled and lived on nothing sometimes. He, to this day still has not seen his kids and only pays me child support when the government takes it from him. I have no idea where he is and we are better for that. Anyway my point......I took care of myself and my girls and made it on my own before I would even look at dating anyone. I made sure that I was financailly stable and that I was in the right place personally and in my heart. I spent 7 years alone and working on making my self the person I wanted to be. I met my now husband 3 years ago this month and we got married in January of this year and had a little girl 14 months ago. Life could not be better. We (me and the girls) are so happy and my husband is wonderful. He has taken on my girls as his. We are different people, me and him, but we connect and he accepts my ways as I do his. We both deal with things differently and that is okay. He doesn't yell at me for it. We may frustrate each other sometimes....:)) but that is what relationships are all about, and not degrading each other and making them feel worthless.
Live for yourself and don't change if you are happy with yourself. If there are things you don't like then work on them but only if it is what you want and not because someone else would be happier if you were a certain way. The right guy is out there who will accept you for who you are and love you for that. Who will see what a special person you and your kids are. I found mine and I have faith that you will find yours. Keep your head up and remember there are tons of us out here who know what you are going through and are here for you.
In my prayers
Traci0 -
Praying for you sweetie. You will heal - even if it doesn't feel like it right now. My advise would be to slow down. Trust yourself. But take relationships slow. It's much less painful if they turn out to be "bad guys" and if it's the right one, it just makes the bond stronger. Take care and blessings my friend!0
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