Dating! EEEK!

cmriverside

Coralie,

Hi, sweetie. I have been away from MFP for soooo long. But I had to check in on your thread to see how you are doing. A bit of a roller-coaster ride, it sounds like.

Traci! She has the words just right. Read her last post every day.

I am sorry you are in pain, but you are so strong, and so smart to be able to walk away. Please stay away from this one, he is dangerous. I hope none of us ever walk in to a "therapist's" office who is like him. This again confirms my belief that therapists are people who have messed up their own lives; and therefore want to control others to make up for their inadequacies. I stay far away from "therapists." Who wants to pay 150 dollars (US) to have someone tell us how stupid we are?

We will always be here for you, and many of us have made the same trusting mistakes in our choices of men. Please please please take it slower on the next one. Please don't even KISS a married man - no matter how "separated" they say they are. Please don't move anyone in with your children until you know them for a couple years. MARRY them first. Your kids deserve that.

They all seem perfect in the first few months. Really. Consider the first six months as a "job interview". They should be on their very best behavior if they want the job. It is only after their probationary period that their true colors will begin to show. Still, they don't need to live with you. You are capable of taking care of your children financially, and you need to protect their innocence and not teach them that it is ok to jump from man to man and bed to bed. They will model your behavior when they are older.

CONGRATULATIONS on the 220 pounds lost (I'm guessing he weighed around 200.)

Happy thoughts comin' at ya again accross the pond.

Cheryl:glasses:

cmriverside

oh, 233 lbs. :laugh:

sculley

Come off confident because your making a better you!!! You deserve to be happy. I am rooting for you. enjoy yourself

grumpymoo

Hey everyone! :flowerforyou:

Sorry to depress you all with this again!:embarassed: :ohwell:

Just a quickie update and an apology!!!! Soooo sorry not to have updated sooner but things are a bit raw, you know?? The kind of raw that has you curling up in bed every night in agony!

Have bitten the bullet and split up with the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with (:embarassed: :embarassed: :embarassed: :embarassed: :embarassed: :embarassed: :embarassed: ). Happened this Friday just gone. Feel completely relieved (and about a million othert things) but oh so, so, so fragile! I know it had to happen. Couldn''t keep hiding from the fact that he wanted me to change past the point where I was able to or even wanted to. I know a lot of people would say that I have been totally unsupportive of his goals and dreams but I HAD to look at what my kids needed and what I wanted and needed not just what he wanted out of HIS life. Without sacrificing the integrity of myself to do it.,

I still think that if certain factors hadn't been an issue then we would still be together.... but perhaps that will pass.......

Don't know what else to say. Perhaps he WAS completely manipulative and controlling or it WAS me that was not willing to change to support him.

The upshot is that I have ultimately chosen my kids (and my own self-esteeem) over him.

Let's just hope that I have made the right choice. :sick: (although thinking about it.... What kind of choice was it???? really??? Of course my kids come first!!!!!!)

As it happens my kids are not that upset by my telling him to leave as I thought they would be, so perhaps the right decision has been made? Despite me feeling as if my legs have been cut out from under me.

Either way here I am. on my own (obviously not completely on my own as I still have my kids to think about.lol) again and feeling rather sorry for myself, which I am sure will pass!

And I just want to thank absolutely everyone who has posted here for their views and insights and support and for believing in me and believing that I was not just here to bleat on about how bad my life was without being willing to change it!

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
Thanks.:blushing:


:brokenheart: :sad: :brokenheart:

healthychic

I am only 20 so I don't know if I am experienced with relationships as some people:laugh: but I do know this. I have been going out with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and he was a big time hockey player in Texas and was almost pro.(In other words, he could probably have any girl he wanted when he met me.) I know that if you talk too much about yourself or your exes, that turns them off. Also don't be fake, some people think that if they act a certain way on a first date that the person will fall for them, but then you have to act that way forever! Also, if the guy is shallow you will know right away. This guy my mom just met at the bar blew her off completely after getting her phone number. She told me he was really hot..haha, and way better looking and in better shape than her. (ofcourse, I think my mom is too hard on herself and she is beautiful) But anyways, he never called her back and she said that he talked about himself and how good of shape he was in A LOT. So I would stay away if he is like that. Anyways, bottom line,

BE YOURSELF.
And you will be fine!:happy:

-Danielle

mommared53

Hi Coralie,

So good to see you back on again, just wish it was with happier news. I believe you made the right choice. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and you know what's best for you and your kids. I'm sure the right man will come along for you but until that time comes, never sacrifice your own self esteem or your integrity.

I'm so sorry your heart is breaking. Here's a hug for you. (I think it's a hug anyway. It was kinda small so here's hoping. )

You take care of yourself and don't be a stranger.

:flowerforyou: Betty