Parents of teenage girls

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  • elizabethwolf
    elizabethwolf Posts: 29
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    yes oh my god, i was in the city at 11 never mind the mall
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
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    I'm shocked at the responses here. We have at least 3 mall cops on duty on segways, and our mall is filled with teenagers there alone. I went to a Christian school and would get dropped off by a parent with my 3 best friends all the time. They would tell us what door to be at and at a certain time to get picked up. Never an issue.

    Then again, a 13 year old girl was raped by two 14 year old boys at their Christian school's community center a few months ago. This is a "safe" place open to kids and the pubilc for skating, counseling and gyms.

    I guess it depends on how naive you are to ther being a real safe place for your kids other than their home and how well you've taught your kids to be pro-active and aware of danger...
  • 17ChargerGirl17
    17ChargerGirl17 Posts: 441
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    I guess it would depend on where you live.
    My daughter is 14 and her and her friends go to the mall all the time but I live in Idaho. LOL
    Now if I lived in California, I would have to re think that one.
  • emnk5308
    emnk5308 Posts: 736
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    Alone.....no. '16' was the age I got to start doing stuff like that..

    *Not a parent....but I've got a sister that age, and I know what goes on in her head!!
  • kmm7309
    kmm7309 Posts: 802 Member
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    My mom let me do it, and I was okay, but if I was a parent, I wouldn't allow it, personally. Not all at once though.

    My mom still had ground rules. Cell phone check ins every hour. A short itinerary of our visit before hand (like, were we going to see a movie or hang out at the arcade?) A specific time and place for pick-ups. If I wasn't there within five minutes, I was in BIG trouble. I wasn't allowed to go at night. And I had to go with 3 or more girls and all of us had to start at the same place (i.e. mom would drop me off at food court, and she had to see the other girls, or I couldn't go out of her sight).

    These were good rules, but I think the only reason I could go was because I was more mature for my age, and honestly my mom was a single mother, and it was a break for her too. I am not a single-mother, and I wouldn't do it until they were 14 or 15, but that's what she did.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    When I was a kid, we got on our bikes in the morning and didn't come home until we were hungry or the street lights came on. It's not the 50's and 60's any more.

    An opinion was solicited. I gave my opinion.

    I wasn't seeking approval for my child-rearing methods and I never have.
  • DarkNebula84
    DarkNebula84 Posts: 445 Member
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    NO!! I would not! But that is only because I know how I was when I was 13 :noway:
  • MissFit0101
    MissFit0101 Posts: 2,382
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    If you live in a safe area, are dropping her off, and she is a mature 13 year old then yes, an hour or so at the mall should be okay.
  • Fatal1ty2k5
    Fatal1ty2k5 Posts: 333 Member
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    Lost my virginity at 14 in a mall movie theatre. My gf was there with a group of her friends unsupervised and she left the group and went with me.

    Just sayin for those saying to just let them go by themselves. Don't have to just worry about the wack jobs but also the horny hormonal teenage boys.
  • prettylyzard
    prettylyzard Posts: 98 Member
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    I wouldn't....there are too many scary people out there. I couldn't handle it if something happened. It's sad, but the things I could do as a kid (go play outside in the neighborhood all day with out adults, go bike ride around town, etc.) I will never let my kids do. Too easy for them to get picked up or taken. It's a sad society we live in.
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
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    Mine is 12. I let her go but with strict instructions to take her phone and what time to be back x
  • 17ChargerGirl17
    17ChargerGirl17 Posts: 441
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    When I was a kid, we got on our bikes in the morning and didn't come home until we were hungry or the street lights came on. It's not the 50's and 60's any more.

    An opinion was solicited. I gave my opinion.

    I wasn't seeking approval for my child-rearing methods and I never have.

    I have to agree, 10 is a little young in my opinion...
    My daughter was in no way mature enough to go to the mall with her friends at 10.
  • elishadarko
    elishadarko Posts: 1
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    I'd say wait until she's at least 15 or 16 to start letting her do things like that.
    OR you could go with her and just go to a movie or get something to eat and go shopping while she's with her friends and have her meet you somewhere after. Then if anything goes wrong she can call you and you'd be close enough to make sure nothing happens to her, you know? That's what my mom does with me and I don't mind at all.
  • Turtlehurdle
    Turtlehurdle Posts: 412
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    My sister doesn't let her 13 yr old son go to the mall alone.....
  • pascale485
    pascale485 Posts: 173 Member
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    My mother used to let me go to the mall by myself when I was 14-15 and sometimes I even took my little sister (43 years younger than I) with me. I always had a cellphone or something like that with me in case of.

    She let me have my own apartment at the age of 17 also... I am the third of 4 children, parents or children that are 1 or 2 are different than parents of multiple chidren!

    It also depends which mall I was going to, the one close to the loony bin was strictly forbidden and if I was there late she would ALWAYS come pick me up. But I lived in a pretty safe town in Canada... so it depends...
  • Blaqheart
    Blaqheart Posts: 235
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    I'm shocked at the responses here. We have at least 3 mall cops on duty on segways, and our mall is filled with teenagers there alone. I went to a Christian school and would get dropped off by a parent with my 3 best friends all the time. They would tell us what door to be at and at a certain time to get picked up. Never an issue.

    Then again, a 13 year old girl was raped by two 14 year old boys at their Christian school's community center a few months ago. This is a "safe" place open to kids and the pubilc for skating, counseling and gyms.

    I guess it depends on how naive you are to ther being a real safe place for your kids other than their home and how well you've taught your kids to be pro-active and aware of danger...

    This^^^^^
    No way! be teased or whatever at least she's safe from sickos of society and guys who prey on young innocent girls.
    I have a dd who no matter what will not go anywhere without supervision until she is old enough to drive herself and that won't be 16. Better safe than sorry. You're right to say no and yes show her this too.:flowerforyou:

    Soooo sorry about the poor 13 yr old child.:sad: She should have been supervised and kept safe. See they failed her so what makes you think all those mall cops can do better with your children?? No!:noway:
  • steph124ny
    steph124ny Posts: 238 Member
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    I live in a small town so maybe my view is different. My daughter is 14 and can most certainly go to the mall with her friends. Good gracious!!! She isn't 5!!!!! She is an honor student, a varsity athelete and has a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. She is responsible enough to babysit her younger sisters for a few minutes, so a trip to the mall is fine.

    Being a helicopter parent is not going to help your child becoe an independant adult. Being overprotective makes them always rely on you to handle situations. If they have given you no reason not to trust them, then give them some space. Within reason, obviously....but she is wanting to go to the mall, not a weekend kegger at a fraternity for crying out loud!
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
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    I won't let my daughter, so she snuck after school and went with friends. After she was done being grounded, I let her go, but I was there, too, and I had to be able to see her at all times. True story: A 15 yr old girl from her school was at a mall and I can't remember if she asked someone for a cigarette or if he approached her. Next thing she knew she was in a hotel room close by, and then taken to Florida where she was entered into the sex trade. She was found 3 months later, addicted to heroine, but alive. So I would say you're not in the wrong telling her she can't go. I know that isn't the norm, but you just never know.
  • taziwac
    taziwac Posts: 15 Member
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    We have a 17 year old and the mall unsupervised was a no-no. In part because of the "unsupervised" part, but also because it's a mall and she ain't go no job to buy anything, so what's the point? The bookstore or a library or something like I would have been much more likely to say "yes" to. But, she's also the kind of kid and has the kind of friends where just hanging out at the mall was/is not their thing. They've gone to the movies unsupervised as a group a few times and she goes to movies with her cousins fairly frequently.
  • Amryfal
    Amryfal Posts: 225
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    i think of stuff i used to do on my own, like riding the bus to the mall alone, or going to movies, and then i think of my children doing those things, and i cringe.

    i left my 12 year old in charge of his brothers for 15 minutes while i went to the store a mile away for three items, and i almost couldn't breathe the whole time.

    they survived. but i don't think i'd be letting them go to the mall alone until they could drive.

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