Petpeeves, what does YOUR partner do?
Replies
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My husband is my best friend in the world. He's so sweet and all-around wonderful. However, the several-day silent treatment is getting old REAL QUICK. Then when I ask what's bothering him, he says, "You know exactly what's wrong!" Actually, no I don't or I would have apologized three days ago when it happened. He's just like a woman in this way, or should I say an adolescent girl.
In case you can't tell, my best friend and I are going through a silent treatment at this very moment.
Arf.. This this. Like, if we KNEW what was wrong, you think we'd be asking?
Or when I am mad about something, he has to counteract and get mad and hateful with me because I was mad at him!0 -
My husband leaves his stuff all over the house. He is good about doing projects but when he is done he is done. He doesnt put anything away not 1 tool. I dont know where he wants all his tools and stuff so i just stack them on the workbench in the garage. You should see how high that stack is getting LOL
but seriously I would miss having all his stuff everywhere if he wasnt around. He helps out alot with the kids and the house and tells me all the time I am his HOT wife and he is glad to have me......aaahhhh0 -
I'm lucky to have a husband who's a neat-freak. He does laundry and dishes, makes the bed, doesn't leave clothes everywhere (I'm the one that's guilty of that!). He does it out of love for me, and I am so grateful for it, but...
he makes sound effects. Like whooshing noises or crashing noises or little gutteral grunts especially when he's anxious. The noises when he's anxious are VERY subtle and you'd never notice them unless you lived with him but they DRIVE ME UP THE WALL. I don't know why, it seems like an inconsequential thing but it is maddening.
Also, with all the wonderful housework he does, it's often sloppy. That drives me crazy too. Either do it right or don't do it at all. But I feel awful saying something because he's trying.
Last thing: he never has a friggin opinion on anything. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a blank wall. He's just never bothered by anything, the mellowest guy in the world. I just want to know what you're thinking sometimes!!!!0 -
My husband is my best friend in the world. He's so sweet and all-around wonderful. However, the several-day silent treatment is getting old REAL QUICK. Then when I ask what's bothering him, he says, "You know exactly what's wrong!" Actually, no I don't or I would have apologized three days ago when it happened. He's just like a woman in this way, or should I say an adolescent girl.
In case you can't tell, my best friend and I are going through a silent treatment at this very moment.
Arf.. This this. Like, if we KNEW what was wrong, you think we'd be asking?
Or when I am mad about something, he has to counteract and get mad and hateful with me because I was mad at him!
HAHA! This is what I'm doing to him right now.
I guess we both need to work on communicating negative emotions. :P
ETA: By both, I mean my husband and I.0 -
Last thing: he never has a friggin opinion on anything. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a blank wall. He's just never bothered by anything, the mellowest guy in the world. I just want to know what you're thinking sometimes!!!!
I will tell you: he's thinking nothing. My bf and I call this 'the Flatline'.0 -
NEVER changes the toilet paper roll. He'll put a new roll out but won't change it out, hello?! It takes like 2 seconds!0
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Last thing: he never has a friggin opinion on anything. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a blank wall. He's just never bothered by anything, the mellowest guy in the world. I just want to know what you're thinking sometimes!!!!
YESYES! Mines not 'mellow' but has no input, or oppinion on anything. Anything bad/exciting/ANYTHING. If I tell him ANY kind of conversation starter. Nothing. Not a word of input except 'oh ya.' Gosh give me something!0 -
If you're eating a cookie in the kitchen, and part of it falls on the floor, AND YOU WATCH IT, pick it up! Don't leave it.0
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NEVER changes the toilet paper roll. He'll put a new roll out but won't change it out, hello?! It takes like 2 seconds!
my husband did the same thing, so i talked to him about it. if you have the energy to take a new roll out, doesn't it follow that you should have enough energy to put the roll on the toilet paper holder? we're adults, adults should put the toilet paper roll on.
now hes better at it then i am. i think logic works on men better than nagging 0 -
Last thing: he never has a friggin opinion on anything. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a blank wall. He's just never bothered by anything, the mellowest guy in the world. I just want to know what you're thinking sometimes!!!!
YESYES! Mines not 'mellow' but has no input, or oppinion on anything. Anything bad/exciting/ANYTHING. If I tell him ANY kind of conversation starter. Nothing. Not a word of input except 'oh ya.' Gosh give me something!
Good god, I am glad I am not alone on this. It makes me feel really disconnected. We have plenty of conversations, but for example we are looking to buy a house right now, so we've been checking out places, and I tell him what I like and don't like. I ask him his opinion in return, and I get NOTHING! I don't know whether he doesn't want to disagree with me or whatnot, but I told him that I *want* to know what he has to say, because maybe there's something I missed or didn't consider! He seemed to get that, but trying to pull an opinion out of him was like pulling teeth.
*edit* he even told me that he didn't know WHY he felt a certain way. It's like he just has no clue how to express his opinions and make sense of his emotions. :frown:0 -
My boyfriend is the slowest person ever when it comes to doing ANYTHING, it takes him at least 5 times longer to do anything than a normal person. He over thinks everything to the point of it taking forever to be accomplished.0
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my man is pretty awesome, but the one thing he consistently does not do is screw lids & caps on tightly. sometimes they just rest on the bottle or jar. even if he puts it away.
he also "lets things 'soak' " which is just manspeak for making a science experiment in the sink.
but really, i can't complain. he's the best.
LMAO!!!!!! "lets things soak" thats too funny mine does that too!!!!!!!! "which is just manspeak for making a science experiment in the sink" I LOVE IT!!!!!!0 -
1. Takes his boxers off and leaves them on the floor!
2. Leaves cups of water or mugs with coffee everywhere!
3. Refuses to eat left overs (unless he's starving and there's no money or a friend to buy him lunch)0 -
Some defence and explanations, Gulp!! Here go's.........
1. The Science experiment in the sink is a two fold attack, one to weaken the burnt on stuff and two to weaken the partner to give in and Just do It!
2. Farting,,, Generally men don't like to hold these in, It is incredibly funny when he we do it but totally unacceptable when a lady does it! So remember and laugh when it occurs better still score him!
3. The stuff all over the house,, It's called Man Droppings.... we have to mark out our territory!
4. This is two fold as well, men are fascinated by peeing in to moving water,,,, it's just magic! Also, we are boys at heart and the toilet was a majot achievement, we had to progress from sitting down to standing up! we are really quite proud of this! By leaving a small amount in the bowl or by leaving the seat up,,, we just want acknowledgement.
5. We are all fantastic BBQ Chefs... No argument!
Any more queries I am happy to answer. Enjoy your man,,,
Dr. Macas.
@Macus292 Thank you so much I knew it!!!!! Its not to soak it...lmoa I cant stop laughing...thanks for your input...it clears a lot up...still LMAO!!!!0 -
@Marcillene it sounds like you have like 10x more issues than the rest. Maybe you need to move or its time to accept these flaws.0
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Last thing: he never has a friggin opinion on anything. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a blank wall. He's just never bothered by anything, the mellowest guy in the world. I just want to know what you're thinking sometimes!!!!
YESYES! Mines not 'mellow' but has no input, or oppinion on anything. Anything bad/exciting/ANYTHING. If I tell him ANY kind of conversation starter. Nothing. Not a word of input except 'oh ya.' Gosh give me something!
Good god, I am glad I am not alone on this. It makes me feel really disconnected. We have plenty of conversations, but for example we are looking to buy a house right now, so we've been checking out places, and I tell him what I like and don't like. I ask him his opinion in return, and I get NOTHING! I don't know whether he doesn't want to disagree with me or whatnot, but I told him that I *want* to know what he has to say, because maybe there's something I missed or didn't consider! He seemed to get that, but trying to pull an opinion out of him was like pulling teeth.
*edit* he even told me that he didn't know WHY he felt a certain way. It's like he just has no clue how to express his opinions and make sense of his emotions. :frown:
Exactly. I have tried to talk to him about it. And he telols me 'i dunno' he doesnt know why he doesnt have an input or doesnt have an oppinion. He has always been this way. and the emotions thing is dead on. He doesnt know how express positive emotins. he is currently going through therapy for anger management and things, which it has helped. but after every class i ask him about it, or what they talked about or what the subject was and its a one word answer. but never on how to express himself. So maybe need to dig deeper. Or maybe he just cant.0 -
1. chews on his nails while watching t.v. or in church.
2. NEVER puts his clothes in the hamper.
3. Leaves the dishes in the sink to let them soak, (YEA RIGHT)
He is an amazing husband, and he usually helps when I ask, lol.0 -
My husband does all the typical male things. Washing dishes...what's that. O i'm supposed to put the toilet roll on the dispenser? Laundry doesnt just get magically done? But all of this I can deal with I knew that it was like that when I married him and on cleaning days, he does try to help. (not that it doesnt just slow me down, but I love that he tries.) The only thing that he does that really irritates me is talk to me like i'm stupid if we dont agree on something. Seriously! Even if I know exactly what he is saying but just dont agree, he will speak to me like i'm two. The great this is though I can just look at him for a minute, and go "honey you know when u do that thing where you sound like a f*****ing D**k. Knock it off!" Then he'll just laugh, give me a kiss and say my bad. so all in all not too bad of a problem.0
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@Marcillene it sounds like you have like 10x more issues than the rest. Maybe you need to move or its time to accept these flaws.
By going about my day, picking up after, putting the seat down, and cleaning up after withOUT *****ing to him is pretty well accepting to me. Doesn't mean it still doesn't drive me nuts. Hense the reason all these other girls have pet peeves but are still doing it too. Because we love em, and thats our life.0 -
Last thing: he never has a friggin opinion on anything. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a blank wall. He's just never bothered by anything, the mellowest guy in the world. I just want to know what you're thinking sometimes!!!!
YESYES! Mines not 'mellow' but has no input, or oppinion on anything. Anything bad/exciting/ANYTHING. If I tell him ANY kind of conversation starter. Nothing. Not a word of input except 'oh ya.' Gosh give me something!
Good god, I am glad I am not alone on this. It makes me feel really disconnected. We have plenty of conversations, but for example we are looking to buy a house right now, so we've been checking out places, and I tell him what I like and don't like. I ask him his opinion in return, and I get NOTHING! I don't know whether he doesn't want to disagree with me or whatnot, but I told him that I *want* to know what he has to say, because maybe there's something I missed or didn't consider! He seemed to get that, but trying to pull an opinion out of him was like pulling teeth.
*edit* he even told me that he didn't know WHY he felt a certain way. It's like he just has no clue how to express his opinions and make sense of his emotions. :frown:
Exactly. I have tried to talk to him about it. And he telols me 'i dunno' he doesnt know why he doesnt have an input or doesnt have an oppinion. He has always been this way. and the emotions thing is dead on. He doesnt know how express positive emotins. he is currently going through therapy for anger management and things, which it has helped. but after every class i ask him about it, or what they talked about or what the subject was and its a one word answer. but never on how to express himself. So maybe need to dig deeper. Or maybe he just cant.
He can and he will. It just takes time. While it's not an anger management thing with my hubs, I think the issue is very similar. He grew up in a very "happy" home, and I don't think he ever learned how to deal with conflict. Since expressing your opinion and revealing your emotions can lead to conflict, he's probably learned to completely suppress them and as a result is totally out of touch. At least that's my theory. We're working on it together. He is a sweet, intelligent and funny man and I love him regardless though.0 -
1. Dishwasher Loading - he put bowls in upside down so they just collect water!
2. He uses our dining room table to store his outerwear, bags and general crap when there is a hall closet 2 feet away!
3. He gets mad at me when I get sick - like it's my fault or I did it on purpose!0 -
Last thing: he never has a friggin opinion on anything. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a blank wall. He's just never bothered by anything, the mellowest guy in the world. I just want to know what you're thinking sometimes!!!!
YESYES! Mines not 'mellow' but has no input, or oppinion on anything. Anything bad/exciting/ANYTHING. If I tell him ANY kind of conversation starter. Nothing. Not a word of input except 'oh ya.' Gosh give me something!
Good god, I am glad I am not alone on this. It makes me feel really disconnected. We have plenty of conversations, but for example we are looking to buy a house right now, so we've been checking out places, and I tell him what I like and don't like. I ask him his opinion in return, and I get NOTHING! I don't know whether he doesn't want to disagree with me or whatnot, but I told him that I *want* to know what he has to say, because maybe there's something I missed or didn't consider! He seemed to get that, but trying to pull an opinion out of him was like pulling teeth.
*edit* he even told me that he didn't know WHY he felt a certain way. It's like he just has no clue how to express his opinions and make sense of his emotions. :frown:
Exactly. I have tried to talk to him about it. And he telols me 'i dunno' he doesnt know why he doesnt have an input or doesnt have an oppinion. He has always been this way. and the emotions thing is dead on. He doesnt know how express positive emotins. he is currently going through therapy for anger management and things, which it has helped. but after every class i ask him about it, or what they talked about or what the subject was and its a one word answer. but never on how to express himself. So maybe need to dig deeper. Or maybe he just cant.
He can and he will. It just takes time. While it's not an anger management thing with my hubs, I think the issue is very similar. He grew up in a very "happy" home, and I don't think he ever learned how to deal with conflict. Since expressing your opinion and revealing your emotions can lead to conflict, he's probably learned to completely suppress them and as a result is totally out of touch. At least that's my theory. We're working on it together. He is a sweet, intelligent and funny man and I love him regardless though.
Sounds like you ladies want your men to relate to you like your female friends do. Men don't commiserate or empathize with each other like women do. If you stop trying to force them to 'open up' and just let them know you're there IF they want to talk, they'll be much more willing to come to you. Just my experience in life and in books.0 -
I tell myself everyday how lucky I am to have found my husband! He is so good to me! He is the one that gets upset with me for taking my socks off and leaving them all in a bunch, he gets upset with me for 'soaking' the dishes in the sink.
I think I am the luckist female alive, my husband is awesome.
Some days I wonder why he married me, I'm sure he could have found someone better...
I think my only pet peeve would be his lack of opinions on what we are going to do/what we will eat/where we want to go to dinner, I don't like to choose those things and it annoys me sometimes when he just says 'I dunno'.0 -
He will eat almost all of something (a bag of chips, a carton of ice cream) but will leave less than a bite in the package. I guess he won't feel like a huge sack of crap if he didn't eat the whole thing. But, I go to get me some ice cream (that I've budgeted for in my calorie goals) and there's like a lick left.0
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1. He constantly eats the ice out of his drinks, morning, noon and night, crunching and ice falling in a cup is all I hear from the moment he gets up until he leaves, and then onces he's home again. Drives me absolutely insane!! He will even bite ice in the middle of a sentence, chew it up and then finish his sentence ... ugghhh
2. He forgets to tell me things all the time, so I usually hear a story the same time everyone else does as well.
3. He fills coolers up on the weekends when we go out for an outing and then leaves them in my trunk - full of water and left over beer, water, pop, until I get it out and put away the drinks and dump it.... he gets on the girls for not picking up their stuff, kinda the pot calling the kettle black
But other than that, he's great, he works hard, takes care of his family, likes to have fun and makes me feel like I'm the only woman in the world, so I'll deal with the ice crunching and forgetfulness in exchange for all the good stuff
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Last thing: he never has a friggin opinion on anything. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a blank wall. He's just never bothered by anything, the mellowest guy in the world. I just want to know what you're thinking sometimes!!!!
YESYES! Mines not 'mellow' but has no input, or oppinion on anything. Anything bad/exciting/ANYTHING. If I tell him ANY kind of conversation starter. Nothing. Not a word of input except 'oh ya.' Gosh give me something!
Good god, I am glad I am not alone on this. It makes me feel really disconnected. We have plenty of conversations, but for example we are looking to buy a house right now, so we've been checking out places, and I tell him what I like and don't like. I ask him his opinion in return, and I get NOTHING! I don't know whether he doesn't want to disagree with me or whatnot, but I told him that I *want* to know what he has to say, because maybe there's something I missed or didn't consider! He seemed to get that, but trying to pull an opinion out of him was like pulling teeth.
*edit* he even told me that he didn't know WHY he felt a certain way. It's like he just has no clue how to express his opinions and make sense of his emotions. :frown:
Exactly. I have tried to talk to him about it. And he telols me 'i dunno' he doesnt know why he doesnt have an input or doesnt have an oppinion. He has always been this way. and the emotions thing is dead on. He doesnt know how express positive emotins. he is currently going through therapy for anger management and things, which it has helped. but after every class i ask him about it, or what they talked about or what the subject was and its a one word answer. but never on how to express himself. So maybe need to dig deeper. Or maybe he just cant.
He can and he will. It just takes time. While it's not an anger management thing with my hubs, I think the issue is very similar. He grew up in a very "happy" home, and I don't think he ever learned how to deal with conflict. Since expressing your opinion and revealing your emotions can lead to conflict, he's probably learned to completely suppress them and as a result is totally out of touch. At least that's my theory. We're working on it together. He is a sweet, intelligent and funny man and I love him regardless though.
Sounds like you ladies want your men to relate to you like your female friends do. Men don't commiserate or empathize with each other like women do. If you stop trying to force them to 'open up' and just let them know you're there IF they want to talk, they'll be much more willing to come to you. Just my experience in life and in books.
Actually that's not correct. Men have been societally conditioned to not express their emotions. That doesn't mean that they can't or don't want to. And connecting emotionally with your wife/husband is the basis of a stable and fulfilling relationship. Women shouldn't sit back to "wait" for their husband to come to them if they want to talk. Do you realize how sexist that is? We have needs. Just like our husbands have needs. The key is to try to understand EACH OTHER and try to meet each other's needs. Just my experience from therapy with someone that has a Ph.D. in psychology and has worked with couples for 40 years.0 -
He treats me really well.
Tells me I'm beautiful about a hundred times a day.
Cooks dinner every night.
Buys me sexy clothes because he loves to see me in them.
Freaking JERK!:laugh:0 -
To start it off, here's a few of what MINE does.....
*He leaves the toilet seat UP!!
*When he opens a cupboard, he forgets how to shut it I guess!
*Flushes before he is done so OF COURSE theres pee in the toilet still.
Ready, Set, GO!!!
Is operating a toilet seat THAT hard for females?0 -
He treats me really well.
Tells me I'm beautiful about a hundred times a day.
Cooks dinner every night.
Buys me sexy clothes because he loves to see me in them.
Freaking JERK!:laugh:
You should try talking to a lawyer, you need out of that bad relationship quick :laugh:0 -
Last thing: he never has a friggin opinion on anything. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a blank wall. He's just never bothered by anything, the mellowest guy in the world. I just want to know what you're thinking sometimes!!!!
YESYES! Mines not 'mellow' but has no input, or oppinion on anything. Anything bad/exciting/ANYTHING. If I tell him ANY kind of conversation starter. Nothing. Not a word of input except 'oh ya.' Gosh give me something!
Good god, I am glad I am not alone on this. It makes me feel really disconnected. We have plenty of conversations, but for example we are looking to buy a house right now, so we've been checking out places, and I tell him what I like and don't like. I ask him his opinion in return, and I get NOTHING! I don't know whether he doesn't want to disagree with me or whatnot, but I told him that I *want* to know what he has to say, because maybe there's something I missed or didn't consider! He seemed to get that, but trying to pull an opinion out of him was like pulling teeth.
*edit* he even told me that he didn't know WHY he felt a certain way. It's like he just has no clue how to express his opinions and make sense of his emotions. :frown:
Exactly. I have tried to talk to him about it. And he telols me 'i dunno' he doesnt know why he doesnt have an input or doesnt have an oppinion. He has always been this way. and the emotions thing is dead on. He doesnt know how express positive emotins. he is currently going through therapy for anger management and things, which it has helped. but after every class i ask him about it, or what they talked about or what the subject was and its a one word answer. but never on how to express himself. So maybe need to dig deeper. Or maybe he just cant.
He can and he will. It just takes time. While it's not an anger management thing with my hubs, I think the issue is very similar. He grew up in a very "happy" home, and I don't think he ever learned how to deal with conflict. Since expressing your opinion and revealing your emotions can lead to conflict, he's probably learned to completely suppress them and as a result is totally out of touch. At least that's my theory. We're working on it together. He is a sweet, intelligent and funny man and I love him regardless though.
Sounds like you ladies want your men to relate to you like your female friends do. Men don't commiserate or empathize with each other like women do. If you stop trying to force them to 'open up' and just let them know you're there IF they want to talk, they'll be much more willing to come to you. Just my experience in life and in books.
Actually that's not correct. Men have been societally conditioned to not express their emotions. That doesn't mean that they can't or don't want to. And connecting emotionally with your wife/husband is the basis of a stable and fulfilling relationship. Women shouldn't sit back to "wait" for their husband to come to them if they want to talk. Do you realize how sexist that is? We have needs. Just like our husbands have needs. The key is to try to understand EACH OTHER and try to meet each other's needs. Just my experience from therapy with someone that has a Ph.D. in psychology and has worked with couples for 40 years.
I never said they can't or don't want to. I'm just saying a constant hideous tugging of "talk to me, tell me what's on your mind, tell me what you're thinking, I want to BOND with you" is enough to piss anyone off, man or woman. It's not sexist to realize that men and women--and individuals--are different. It's called respecting someone's comfort zone. If you're trying to force a man to open up so *you* can feel closer, only *your* needs are being met.0
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