Curly hair isn't sexy?

BlueEyedTXmom

Just like with other things in life people have their preferences. Sometimes I yearn for silky straight hair but I do not like my hair when I straighten it. My husband loves my curls and thinks they're sexy.

CallieM15

Whatttttt curly hair IS sexy. Mine doesnt always curl right, but hell, messy hair is sexy too.

^^^^^

This girl was one of my examples from my friends list. Crazy curly hair...and drop dead gorgeous when she keeps it that way (or when she straightens it...or when she cuts it all off...you get the idea).

Aww, I just saw this... :flowerforyou: :blushing:

mfpcopine

I don't think it's negative necessarily. I think it can be negative, but in my case it's been a very positive experience, and I wish other people wouldn't judge me for that choice.

I'm not judging you for your choice, but I find it sad that you don't seem to grasp that thinking as a young teenager that you can't possibly manage your hair in its natural state IS actually quite negative. As I said, the choices were extremely limited back then. The Curly Hair books had anecdotes of white women who as girls had their curly hair chopped off without warning by their moms because their mothers couldn't deal with it. They found it very traumatic.

I'm probably quite a bit older than you. I recall how some of my little "Negro" elementary school friends would line up to comb the straight hair of the prettiest girl in the class, who of course was not Negro. But they thought combing H's silky, long hair was a privilege. I used to make all kinds of excuses for being able to draw only straight hair as a child (although this was pre-Afro, so everyone had straight hair.)

We absorb negative views very early in life. It's very important to be conscious of them and to try to change attitudes for ourselves and the next generation.

mfpcopine

I'm pretty tired of those hair-straightener kiosks in malls telling me that my hair should be straight, that I'll be so much more confident, so much more sexier. Even after I tell them I *like* my curly hair they don't let up! It takes everything I have to not tell them to *kitten* off because I'm happy with the way I look. Screw you, I'm already confident and I'm on my way to being sexy!
It kind of feels bad to know that people see my hair as a problem to be fixed.

I've heard a number of white women, some of whom were cancer survivors, lament that their formerly straight hair was now curly. You would have thought they were bald.

A couple of years ago there were stories about finding the curly hair gene and how curly hair might be eliminated in the future. The articles featured no quotes from people expressing the view that there's nothing wrong with curly hair.

kater8er

I'm not judging you for your choice, but I find it sad that you don't seem to grasp that thinking as a young teenager that you can't possibly manage your hair in its natural state IS actually quite negative. As I said, the choices were extremely limited back then. The Curly Hair books had anecdotes of white women who as girls had their curly hair chopped off without warning by their moms because their mothers couldn't deal with it. They found it very traumatic.

I'm probably quite a bit older than you. I recall how some of my little "Negro" elementary school friends would line up to comb the straight hair of the prettiest girl in the class, who of course was not Negro. But they thought combing H's silky, long hair was a privilege. I used to make all kinds of excuses for being able to draw only straight hair as a child (although this was pre-Afro, so everyone had straight hair.)

We absorb negative views very early in life. It's very important to be conscious of them and to try to change attitudes for ourselves and the next generation.

Like I said, I think it can be negative, but for me it was not negative, and I don't think that it is necessarily negative for anyone. It was based on the facts that I couldn't and didn't want to deal with my hair each morning in it's natural state. If my child one day wants a relaxer, if I think she's old enough to make that choice, than the choice is hers to make. Of course, I'll make sure she knows that it's not the only choice she has.

What I think you don't seem to grasp is that I don't have white-person straight hair envy. If I did, I would straighten my hair each day and convince myself that it's the only way I could possibly look attractive. I'd hate my hair and my heritage, when really the opposite is true. I love my hair. I love how thick it is, I love how curly it is, I love how long it is. I love how people tell me it looks "wild" or like a "lion's mane". I love how my hair makes me unique. To me, my hair is my hair and that's it. I don't have some traumatic childhood experiences attached to it. I don't see the relaxer as imprisoning me to an outdated or racially motivated standard of beauty.

When I was in college, in all my Africana lectures and seminars, I was taught that the relaxer is a symbol of white oppression and white standards of beauty. Many of the people in my class, previously happy with their hair in whatever state it was in, became convinced that having "natural" hair was the only acceptable way for a person to wear their hair and became obnoxious about it. I completely disagree with that for reasons I've said above--it's no different than hair dye, layers, controlling your length, getting braids or dreads, or any of the other choices that make your hair not "natural". African Americans have defined what's "natural" and what's acceptable, but they often fail to see that their definitions themselves of what's natural and a "black" way to wear your hair come from controlling assumptions that the community has made. "Natural" hair is beautiful, but so is relaxed hair. If one goes natural in order to feel more "black", I see that as just as bad as getting a relaxer to feel more "white". Why should one's hair matter to an entire community? Just something to think about.

Redtango76

Attention fellow Curlies! After spending a lot of time reading this thread I purchased the Curly Girl Handbook on Amazon. I liked my curly hair before . However after using the techniques in this book my hair has completely transformed from nice hair to fabulous hair! From just two days of using the suggestions in this book ! I wish I'd had this info 20 years ago! Middle school and Jr high would have been so much better! If you haven't read this book you should !

Natihilator

This ALWAYS happens to me:

*Me wearing my hair curly after years of straight*
"I love your hair, it looks soooo good! You should wear it curly more often!"

*Me straightening my hair after a few years of curly*
"You look sooo good with straight hair! You should wear it like that more often!"

And anytime I get an unsolicited compliment from a guy, it's about my curly hair, so don't believe that curls can't be sexy.

I personally think for 95% of people, their natural hair texture/curl pattern and natural color look best on them. I straighten my hair from time to time to trim it, but get bored with straight hair reeeeal quick. I've been wearing my hair naturally curly for 3 years now, I have 3b/3c curls that hit mid-back and my goal is healthy, long curly mermaid hair.

Topher1978

Curly hair is sexy. Nothing else needs to be said.

jayche

Different strokes for different folks

VelociMama

Personally, I absolutely love curls and crazy bouncy hair. I think it looks fantastic.

BACONJOKESRSOFUNNY

I dig curly hair. I figure it's a subconscious relation to pubes, and gets me going.

Jpinpoint

So many things in life to be insecure about, my curls I am not.

It is who I am. Anyone who could say or make me feel insecure about my curly hair isn't worth my time.

AND

Sexy is who you are, how you feel.

RobynMWilson

I went thru the same thing. Till my hair broke off and was so thin I didn't recognize it anymore because of the flat iron.

since I put down the flat iron, my hair is MUCH sexier! I still straighten it occasionally, but not every day anymore. I leave it air dry wavy and curl the ends and I've gotten more compliments that way than any other!

Regardless, my hair is long and thick again. and I love it, which is what matters the most! And when you get older, curly hair makes ya look younger

RobynMWilson

This ALWAYS happens to me:

*Me wearing my hair curly after years of straight*
"I love your hair, it looks soooo good! You should wear it curly more often!"

*Me straightening my hair after a few years of curly*
"You look sooo good with straight hair! You should wear it like that more often!"

And anytime I get an unsolicited compliment from a guy, it's about my curly hair, so don't believe that curls can't be sexy.

I personally think for 95% of people, their natural hair texture/curl pattern and natural color look best on them. I straighten my hair from time to time to trim it, but get bored with straight hair reeeeal quick. I've been wearing my hair naturally curly for 3 years now, I have 3b/3c curls that hit mid-back and my goal is healthy, long curly mermaid hair.

What she said! Although I have no idea what kind of curls I have. When I scrunch with a bunch of hairspray they are kinda tight. Left alone my hair is wavy but with these annoying little curly-cues around the nape of my neck and Elvis-esque sideburns lol

ptak1sm

I have naturally curly hair and don't even own a hair dryer. Nor do I own a comb. I have a straightener somewhere but haven't seen it in a few years. I love my curls and wouldn't trade them for anything! My boyfriend keeps asking me to straighten my hair, just once...he wants to see what I'd look like with straight locks. I'm not opposed to showing him what I'd look like with straight hair, I know I look better with curls.

Yes, I'm referred to more often as "cute" rather than "sexy". But I rock it. My curls aren't sexy? I have other assets. I say embrace the curls, and be confident, and that will translate into sexy and sultry.

meshashesha2012

if you dont think you're sexy then no, you're not sexy.

MariaMariaM

This has been on my mind for a while now, and I just wanted to express myself, and perhaps get some other people's opinions/thoughts on the matter.

All my life, whenever I straighten my hair, I get told it looks better. Or I should do it more often. When I look to the media, there's negative curly stereotypes everywhere, and curly hair is often representated only by wavy hair or artificially curled hair. We get told that our hair is hard work, or hear other curlies tell everyone curly hair is a nightmare. I constantly hear other curlies say they straighten their hair daily, and that they hate their curly hair.

I feel I am treated better when my hair is straightened, found to be more attractive. Taken more seriously. I am attracted to white men, and I get more looks from them when my hair is straight.

I am told my curly hair makes me look 'fun', cute, open. I am not told it makes me look sexy or seductive.

When I have seen men asked which they prefer, an overwhelming majority say they prefer straight hair, or loose curls.

I love my curls, but I am starting to feel insecure about them. Me, of all people. I sometimes crave straight hair, and I don't know why. I refuse to use any heat on my hair anymore, because the heat damaged a few curls and left them looser, even though I take very good care of my hair and flat iron to a minimum.

I do love curly hair, and I love mine. I have loads of pictures saved on my laptop of gorgeous ladies with big or long healthy curls. I feel they look sexy, and I certainly feel sexy when I have a good hair day.

But all this time, in the back of my mind, there is just this little voice reminding me that, while some people may think curly hair is nice, not many people think it's sexy. Many think it's unprofessional, or wild, or 'cute', or just plain not as attractive as straight hair. It's never going to be the ideal. It's always going to be looked down on. No-one desires it.

I'm not going to lie, it kind of burns. Why is it like this? Why can't all hair types, as long as they're healthy, be regarded as sexy?

I personally think any long, healthy hair is sexy. The emphasis is on health, for me, not curl, or lack thereof (though, I do have a special place in my heart for long frizz-free type 2c-3c hair).

Thoughts?

Any fellow curlies, how do you feel about this?

When I was a teenager I hated my curly hair. Today, I think is freaking sexy and I know others think so too. It is easy for us curly girls to get a natural straight hair look but pretty difficult to do the opposite. I think we have the best of both worlds. And one more thing, it only takes about 5 minutes to achieve the perfect messy look. Just sayin....

DamnImASexyBitch

I have curly hair, and I hate it. I straighten my hair. I prefer the way straight hair looks on me. The ONLY way I like my curls is if I straighten it, then put curls back into it ( rollers, iron, ect ). My natural curls are not uniform, and they look frizzy/messy to me. I tend to be a perfectionist though being a stylist.

saucyitalian19

Aw, I think you should have fun tapping into your curly self (as I always say) and forget what everyone else thinks. Save straightening your hair for special occasions. Maybe find a way to style it where it looks less "cute-sie" and more professional. Like maybe half up, clipped, or textured ponytail/bun?

lorcart

Curly hair is sexy as hell imo. I'd kill to have curly hair. I have a few friends with curly hair like yours and they look so damn sexy! I have straight hair and I've damaged my hair trying to heat curl them all the time. You can do so much with hair like yours. Straight hair is boring. just my opinion though.

+1

gingerveg

I'm certain your hair is gorgeous as is.

I have curly hair and although I hated it as a kid, I have learned to love it. I wouldn't change my hair for a guy. I have ridiculously long hair (because having it long does tame the curl) and my DH doesn't have a huge preference about my hair--he loves me-the-person. I think he has learned to like my long curly locks just because of the history between us but it wouldn't be a deal breaker if I cut it. And he is definitely not a long hair f*tish type (believe me they are out there) <--- if he was I probably would have cut it years ago anyway.

ETA: straightening damages your hair. Keep it natural and if you want a natural straightener simply grow it. Also if you haven't been to the site and/or read the book read curly girl.

sarah44254

Your hair is incredible.

sarah44254

Curly hair is sexy as hell imo. I'd kill to have curly hair. I have a few friends with curly hair like yours and they look so damn sexy! I have straight hair and I've damaged my hair trying to heat curl them all the time. You can do so much with hair like yours. Straight hair is boring. just my opinion though.

+1

I got a perm, 4x ultra strength. it took 12 hrs to fall straight again. :indifferent: my hair refuses any and all treatment other than ponytail :sad:
I dream of curls

oregonzoo

if you dont think you're sexy then no, you're not sexy.

This
Nothing more to say.

gingerveg

Your hair is incredible.

Holy heck I checked out your pictures and wow you and your hair are absolutely stunning! I implore you to stop straightening those gorgeous curls! :flowerforyou:

megmay2591

I LOVE CURLY HAIR!!

I have naturally stick straight hair, so I started getting perms. I love my hair curly so much better, it's beautiful. It's a matter of what you prefer for yourself. Do what you want with your hair. The media needs to be ignored.

Others may embrace their straight hair, and their curly hair. I prefer mine curly!

katy84o

I say us curlies have the best of both worlds! I have a mop of unruly, bouncy, blond curls all over my head. But I love them! They are fun, and wild, and sexy as hell. And, when I want to look serious and seductive, I can straighten it and take in all those compliments and stares! It's much easier to go from super curly to straight than the other way around! Embrace your curls....we make a lot of women jealous by having them!

Yes! I'm one of those straight haired jealous girls!!

I've always had very straight hair. I can let it air dry and it will dry completely straight! I curl my hair with a curling iron and within an hour it's straight again.

I think people become envious of what they don't have. But embrace what/who you are naturally. I have been working on this, and having been wearing my hair straight, with my natural color. I know i'll never have that head full of bouncy mess curls. I just won't, not even a perm could do that for me. So it's just not "me" to have curls.. I guess.

As hard as it may be. Embrace you.

Erin_goBrahScience

I am a proud naturally curly girl. I learned how to take care of it properly more than 15 years ago, and am constantly complimented on it. I'm married now, but every man I dated LOVED my hair. It was long, soft and sexy. I have never worried about a man that preferred to date a woman with straight hair. While I am told mine looks fantastic straight, it is curly 90% of the time (because it takes about an hour to straighten it).

In regards to the OP question, I think to a degree it comes down to the "perception" of a girl that is curly. In some regards it can be viewed as wild, unpredictable, and less conservative. But those are assumptions and generalizations, certainly not fact.

I say embrace your curls, treat them well...find a stylist that knows curly hair....and run wild.

LilacDreamer

I would DIE to have curly hair, or hell, hair that could actually hold a curl. My hair depresses the crap out of me. Curly hair is so lovely.

LilacDreamer

I say us curlies have the best of both worlds! I have a mop of unruly, bouncy, blond curls all over my head. But I love them! They are fun, and wild, and sexy as hell. And, when I want to look serious and seductive, I can straighten it and take in all those compliments and stares! It's much easier to go from super curly to straight than the other way around! Embrace your curls....we make a lot of women jealous by having them!

Yes! I'm one of those straight haired jealous girls!!

I've always had very straight hair. I can let it air dry and it will dry completely straight! I curl my hair with a curling iron and within an hour it's straight again.

Yup, I never blow dry my hair and it's always super straight. I am one of the few people in my family with straight hair. My mother is the only one of her siblings with straight hair. I am so envious of wavy/curly haired women. SO ENVIOUS