serious problem

randa_behnam

i grew up without being allowed to help myself to the food in the kitchen. if i was hungry i would have to have the dinner made for me or the left overs in the fridge. dinners were usually rice based so quite filling.

Crisps and chocolates were a treat. maybe once a week if we were good but there was always fruit and veg. If we didnt want eggs and toast for brekki we would have to ASK if we could have cereal and the answer was usually no because mum had already made breakfast and laid the table and egg and toast was the breakfast of the day.

Boys are hungry. they are growing and need feeding. are they bored? snacking is mainly boredom eating. i think you need to start showing them whos boss of the kitchen, or start up a tuck shop type of system, if they want those doritos they need to do the dishes or hoover the living room. pretty soon theyll give up asking knowing they have to do chores for snacks.

And make sure they are drinking enough water, they could just be super thirsty. But boys do eat a lot. and they do snack. my partner now is 27 and as soon as i shop hes already raided the cupboards. but ive trained him now to ask me if he can have them and when i say no i need it for something later in the week then he will go and eat something else or i will cook him something. i wouldnt ever leave him to go hungry.

Tallblondechick

My mom raised 11.....yes 11 children on Social Security and Veterans benefits after my father passed away. She never had a problem with this. She made home made bread daily, bought peanut butter by the gallon and cooked many beans. Red, white, green, lima, and potatoes. We were all very healthy and nourished. We didn't know what bag chips were and surely didn;t have all that children have today. Today you can buy a P&J sandwich all made up in a box. That is rediculous. Popcorn, mom bought it in large 5 lb bags. Every last one of us knew how to make it in a big pot. Sometimes we made simple syrup to coat it. Sometimes we had cane syrup. It was called popcorn balls. Moma bought a 6-bottle pack of Coca Cola about once a month and shared it between us in small cups. Yeah, we all still here. No we are not in the 50's or 60's anymore but we always lived within our means. Good luck with all your boys. Momma had 8 girls and 3 boys. Without mentioning it here. Moma had a big expense with all us girls. Couldn't be avoided. Yet she managed. You will too.

beachlover317

OK, so they're not eating their dinner, but they're eating all the junk/snack food--what if you didn't buy junk/snack food?

This 10X over!!! My daughter only has 2 kids but one is a 6 year old boy. He eats everything. She buys X amount of snacks FOR THE WEEK. When they're gone - they're gone. Simple. I will tell you that when kids are hungry, they will hold out for the snacks, but as parents, we know they will eventually eat. Children will not starve themselves unless they have other problems. Try it. I'm impressed that you can feed your family on $75 a week. That's awesome!

3LittleMonkeyMom

If you're that strapped for cash, check out your local food pantry. Situations like yours are exactly what they're for.

I bargain shop. I can get ENOUGH to last for the week. Its not that I'm strapped for cash. Its that they eat it all within 2 days. It wouldn't matter if I bought double, hit food banks, cleaned out a grocery store. If its in my house they EAT IT ALL!

I get meat on sale. Bread I make homemade. I buy freezer items in bulk. I use coupons. Last week my total was $260. After the coupons, buy 1 get 1, sales and MVP discount card my total was $81. I really know how to bargain shop...newspapers are my friends.

Stop buying junk food. I bet they'll eat what you cook then. You got a lot of good advice.
Apples, bananas, grapes....great snack foods.
No junk.

Generalle

I hate to break it to you, but I dont think there is ANY WAY you are going to be able to stop them from eating. Much like teenage girls get moody, teenage boys eat. Period. There is nothing you can do to stop it. I only have one and have problems with my food bill and the amounts he eats. It sounds like you do everything you can to budget, but stopping them from eating isn't going to happen. I realise this doesn't help you and it's only going to get worse when the younger ones get older, good luck!!!

sgv0918

OK, so they're not eating their dinner, but they're eating all the junk/snack food--what if you didn't buy junk/snack food?

This!!!!

Rchamb1627

Wow kids eat. As they should they are growing. Locking up food? It's my honor to feed my children. They did not decide for me to have them. If my husband and I need 2-3 jobs each to feed them, cloth them and buy them toys it is my honor to do that for they are a blessing as I know your children are to you. Don't loose sight of the blessings you have. They will be gone before you know it.
This is there childhood and they shouipld not be busted up or told not to eat yogart. How wonderful they should be able to eat as much as they like. Not trying to be mean or rude. Children need so much love and nurturing. My kids eat what ever they like. They eat a package of strawberries, blue berries and a bag of pistachios every day to themselves besides other food they have. I never say a word to them, I would not dream of depriving my children. If all else fails look into an extra job.

Generalle

Oh, I was going to suggest you bake, cakes etc? I bake a lot for my son, put aside a weeks worth, then freeze the rest and take them out day by day. He thinks they're treats too which is good

Keiko385

Its been years since my boys did the same things growing up, what I didnt know was that they were feeding half the neighborhood everyday after school. They would go though a loaf of bread and a gallon of milk a day, plus either a jar of PB&J or all the lunchmeat I had bought for the week. I finally had to sit them down and level with them and put them on strict orders. My budget only went so far, I stopped buying all but the basics I needed for 2 meals a day and limited to 1 night a week as "Goodie Night" and didnt buy it until then. If they were hungry they could eat what was already prepared or do without. I did keep plenty of fruits & veggie in the house for them to eat and there was always leftovers to nibble on

I know it is tough to tell your kid, you cant have that to eat but they do have to learn limits

sgv0918

with every suggestion comes an excuse. It sounds like a royal dicipline problem. I hope you can find a solution that fits

otrlynn

If you're that strapped for cash, check out your local food pantry. Situations like yours are exactly what they're for.

I bargain shop. I can get ENOUGH to last for the week. Its not that I'm strapped for cash. Its that they eat it all within 2 days. It wouldn't matter if I bought double, hit food banks, cleaned out a grocery store. If its in my house they EAT IT ALL!

I get meat on sale. Bread I make homemade. I buy freezer items in bulk. I use coupons. Last week my total was $260. After the coupons, buy 1 get 1, sales and MVP discount card my total was $81. I really know how to bargain shop...newspapers are my friends.

I apologize if this point has been made--but I'm on the way out and didn't read all the posts. It sounds like you are a smart shopper, in the sense that you really know how to use coupons! However, I know that around here, most of the coupons are for either non-food items (like laundry soap--great--buy it!) or pre-prepared and "junkier" type food (sugared cereal, frozen dinners, chips, cookies etc.). So--you may be getting great prices on these items, but the kids don't really need them, and will scarf them down given the opportunity. Like many have said--stop buying the snacks (even if you get a great price) and put the money toward real meals. If they are really hungry, they will eat. Prepare yourself for whining and complaining--because they will--but stand firm. Your are not the meanest mom in the world, repeat to self as needed!

hiddensmiles21

This depends on how old yous boys are, but have you considered talking to them about the financial issues you're having, and how their habits upset this?

They may not really get it if they're younger, but if they're a bit older maybe this can help get them to control themselves a little.
I don't think you should ever shy away from saying "We can't afford it."

This. Definately.

hiddensmiles21

with every suggestion comes an excuse. It sounds like a royal dicipline problem. I hope you can find a solution that fits

Agree 100%

MountainDont351LBS

How much are your car payments and what do you owe on them? I'll get to my point in a bit.

Car and truck are both paid in full.

The reason I asked is that a lot of people I run across will spend money for a new car rather than spend the money on groceries. We are a family of four and our weekly bill at the grocery store is at least a full $200, that does include household goods as well though. I could not imagine feeding the four of us for $75 and eating healthy doing it. I don't know what your situation is but I hope you can get things figured out. My son is an animal in the kitchen so I feel your pain.

ekz13

kids will be kids, but this sounds more like a discipline problem as well as a junk food issue.

LuLuSUPER

Maybe dont but snacks until the weekend; you dont eat junk food everyday so why start teaching them bad eating habits now.

I totaly feel your pain when you open the fridge with an expectaion , only to be let down.

Good luck

Aviendha_RJ

I think the simple solution to your problem is to no longer waste your money on Doritos and popcorn, but to buy a bag of apples & a bunch of bananas.

If they don't like what you cook for them they can have a piece of fruit. If they don't like that, they can buy it themselves. Tough luck.

I grew up in a household with a Weight Watcher's mom. We never had chips, candy, pop, iced cream, or cookies in the house. We just DIDN'T. Am I well-adjusted? YES.

Your kids will live if you buy a bag of rice instead of popcorn. They will live if you spend money on salad stuff instead of KD. They will. TaDa... problem solved. If they complain, pick up the phone & tell them to call Child Protective Services so they can live somewhere else... like a house with 8 kids sleeping in bunk beds in the same room, who yell, and fight, and steal, and lie, & will likely bully them daily. THEN they can see how good they have it.

That's what my parents did.

Cindym82

My grandma has this problem with my 3 nephews. She ended up going to the store when they're at school and than came home and divided everything into single servings in zip locks and than would only leave enough for the day and lock the rest in the trunk of her car. And the next day she'd bring enough in for the day. I know it sounds like a pain but it is working. As far as the milk I'd say get the milk that you can keep in the cabinet, and than just put it in the fridge on a daily basis. My one uncle had this problem and literally put a lock on the fridge when he wasn't home. So do what's best for your budget....

Ayla70

Worm them...

:laugh:

khelser

When I started dieting and eating healthier my who family did. My 2 and 4 year old love the junk food and don't get me wrong we still have fruit snacks in the house but the chips and candy was all taken out of the cabinets. I think that if you do the same thing that you will be suprised what the kids will start eating when they get hungry. My kids are now eating veggies for snacks. (all of those are home grown so we don't have to pay for them) Maybe you could start a garden and have the kids take care of it. Maybe if they see how much time and work goes into getting some of the food to the table they will have more of an appreciation for the good foods out there. I know that isn't feasible for some people though.
I am the same as you are when it comes to grocery shopping, coupons and bargain shopping are my specialties. I always go to Odd/Big Lots and Gabriel brothers to get snacks. Most the time I looks at the clearance first b/c they will put the 100 calorie packs that we eat there when they are getting close to expiring. I can get boxes of them for $.75 each.
Good Luck!

songbyrdsweet

AGAIN LET ME SAY

I DONT BY CANDY OR SNACK CAKES OR THAT TYPE OF JUNK.
WHAT I MEAN BY JUNK IS RAMEN NOODLES POPCORN JELLO

WHEN I BUY CEREAL I BUY ORIGINAL CHEERIOS SHREDDED WHEAT CORN FLAKES BRAN FLAKES I DO NOT BUY PRE SWEETENED GARBAGE.
I DO NOT BUY POP. EVER. NOT AT BALLGAMES. NOT FOR HOME.

I AM TALKING ABOUT SNACKS LIKE FRUITS AND VEGETABLES AND NUTS AND YOGURTS AND EDAMAME

PLEASE STOP TELLING ME TO STOP BUYING "CANDY AND JUNK FOOD AND GET HEALTHY FOOD"

BECAUSE I DONT BUY IT!!! THE ISSUE IS THEY EAT IT ALL!!!


HOW MUCH CLEARER DO I NEED TO BE?!

Have you considered that they might just be hungry?

carriempls

How about not buying "treats" at all?

Melanie_RS

are they old enough to have a part time job?? While I don't condone crap eating, if they worked at a fast food place, it may 1) give them extra spending money for their kind of treats and 2) provide them discounted or free food that is commonplace for teenagers.

while I'd love to imagine teenage boys crunching on carrots ... they may need a bit more fat in their diets.

lovecellomusic

They are 11, 13, 14. I don't have a problem with the "if u don't eat dinner u can go without" I was raised that way.
I don't work, I'm disabled. Telling them to stay out of the kitchen is like expecting to win a lottery.
Boys are sneaky

Guess I'll just get a locking cabinet. I don't like the idea of having to lock up food. But it's getting out of control.

Don't lock up food. You will give them eating disorders. I have a 9 year old and a 4 year and they eat all day long. Some kids just don't like to eat full meals. Limit the snack food you bring in the house and tell them that is all the snack food for two weeks and if they eat it all they will just have to eat what they are given.

amymt10

I stopped buying the junk. My boys (6yrs & 3yrs) would just want to snack and refuse meals. So i was like fine, no more fruit snacks, goldfish crackers, etc. I buy fruit & veggies for snacks, tons better anyways. My 6yr old still complains he's hungry/starving even after having 2 helpings at dinner, but now I give him an apple. Its take it or leave. If he's "starving" like he says, he takes it and stops whinning. I swear he was doing the same thing yours are, gee lets see how fast i eat everything once mom goes grocery shopping. Food is lasting longer now. If they dont like dinner and refuse to eat they dont get a snack later, they will have to wait til breakfast to eat again. I have saved their dinner, if hung.ry later that is what they get. I'm not throwing food away, its a waste of money!! There is no money tree in the backyard!! lol. I will occassionaly buy the crap they like for snacks but I hide it and ration it out. Once its gone its gone there wont be more for a long time. Since mine are young I put all the snacks on the top shelf in the pantry so even w/a chair they cant reach it. We have the side by side fridge/freezer and I will put a cabinet lock on the handles of the fridge if i have to. There is no need to eat every 30-60 minutes, they arent really that hungry. Its boredom!!

Shannota

Buy a small locking fridge for what you need for your meals. Continue to cook meals for them but no chips etc. put leftovers from dinner that they don't eat in fridge. Mark their own containers, whatever. When they cry hungry again send them to their leftovers. If they don't want that they probably are not really hungry.

My grandma and great aunt would leave our plates on the table and if we said we were hungry, they sent us to the table to finish the food we left on the plate first, before we got anything else. I don't remember them having a whole lot of snack food around either. Mmm, Aunt Evelyn made some yummy meat and potatoes...old fashioned farm food, yummO!

TrailRunner61

Don't buy junk food. It's bad for them, expensive and never lasts. I dont know how old they are but eventually they will get hungry and eat whatever you fix or find a way to buy their own garbage. Kids find enough junk to eat outside the home anyway.
When our kids were little and they complained about what there was to eat on the table, I told them they could have peanut butter and jelly if they wanted but they had to make it themselves and I wasnt fixing anything else. Now our grandson, who is 3, is acting the same way with his parents with meals. His mama quit buying garbage and he whined for days about wanting this or that but now he's eating much healthier.
I know I'm 'old' compared to most of the people here on MFP (51 on Friday!), but I remember not having food in the house when I was a kid. I actually made sandwiches out of onions from mom's garden. Id put a slice between 2 pieces of bread with ketchup and pray that the tomatoes were ripe so I could use them too. Point is, if they get hungry enough, anything will taste good. They will survive and be healthier if their only options are healthy foods.
See a nutritionist at your local health dept. to get info about healthy meals for kids, where you could get into a food co-op, local farmers market, etc. and get discounted foods. They usually have a lot of good ideas and they are there to help.
I forgot to add that if the kids didn't eat their dinner, I'd cover up the plate, put it in the frig and as soon they starting whining about being hungry (usually less than 20 minutes later and wanting a snack!), I'd whip out that plate and tell them to eat it. They hated me for it but I didn't care.

Amryfal

i have a similar problem - three boys, who live with their dad during the school year but with me during summers. they get here and my food budget jumps exponentially and god help me if i haven't saved enough money during the year to feed them all summer. i go from a carton of ice cream that i eat half a cup at a time that sits in the freezer for months, to not being able to keep any treats in the house at all. and my oldest has a late-night binging problem.

i keep peanut butter, jelly, and bread. if my oldest gets hungry at any time of the day or night, he can have that. i buy gigantic bags of pretzels and popcorn that are cheaper than doritos. i buy huge jars of dill pickles. i no longer make batches of cookies or anything that might be tempting and will probably disappear overnight.

i don't care if they like what i cook, they'll eat it or they'll starve. it's amazing what actual hunger will do. when my fiancé's kids are here, they are ridiculously picky eaters. i stopped cooking for them. if my fiancé wants to feed them peanut butter sandwiches every day rather than good healthy meals, that's fine...i refuse to deal with the crying fits at the dinner table. but my kids know better than to refuse food. if they don't eat it, they'll get the leftovers for lunch the next day.

it's freaking hard when you're short on money. but hiding/locking up the treats they want only leads to hiding the eating, and lying about it, which is a surefire disaster and could lead to eating disorders (former ED here, and that's what i worry about with my oldest, and why i cut back on trying to keep binge-able foods - i have learned to mostly control my impulses, but he hasn't yet). someone suggested to me...parceling out the yummy snacks into bags or containers with everyone's name on them, so everyone gets a fair shake, and when they're gone, they're gone. i haven't tried it yet, but it might be something to try.

amandaxh

Locking up the food or not buying the food will not solve the problem. Discipline and teaching respect will solve the problem. You're looking for a solution beyond the obvious one that is not an easy task, but cannot be overlooked. If you're not confident in your own ability to discipline your children's habits, then they won't be confident in your ability to do so either, and this overindulgence and misbehavior will continue.

If you want to eat popcorn, jello and occasional ramen, you should be able too. In fact, if you DO wish to eat ice cream and cake and huge bags of doritos and brownies, you should be able to do that. (Not saying you want too, but just saying that WHAT the food is, is actually a moot point). The point is that your kids should be respectful of your food choices, your finances and overall simply what you wish for them to eat (which is nothing too crazy, just proper meals).

That being said, you really should get to the root of the issue by seeking ways that would teach your kids to listen to what you say. That might seem like a daunting task with adolescent boys (and adolescents in general -- I was one not incredibly long ago) but if you let them do whatever they want, you are going to go through grief and frustration like you are now and they will continue with disrespectful habits as they grow older as well.

You noted that you tried a handful of different ways to make them stop. Were you persistent about it? Did you continue with consistency, or give up in frustration? Just like with losing weight, change comes when people are uncomfortable. Your children need to be uncomfortable for an extended period of time to learn that they need to change their behavior. You can't ground them for a day or two from video games or internet and expect them to learn a lesson. Be persistent in your approach and if you give in or give up, you are sending them the message that you aren't serious and that they truly can get away with what they wish.

This has to be about more than food for you. You have to have the desire in your to teach your kids the proper way to live in a household and the proper ways to eat. I can tell by your messages that you truly DO wish to teach your kids the proper ways to eat (b/l/d and not merely snacks). You just have to build up enough strength and persistence in this pursuit to make a true change. Seek resources, research advice on children at that age: become friends with Moms on here that can offer you support (or anyone to offer support, for that matter).

Best wishes :-)

Amryfal

Continue to cook meals for them but no chips etc. put leftovers from dinner that they don't eat in fridge. Mark their own containers, whatever. When they cry hungry again send them to their leftovers. If they don't want that they probably are not really hungry.

This.