serious problem

SherryTeach

It's not my place to tell people how to parent - all I can do is share my own experience. For myself, I had to stop enabling poor eating habits for my kids. In my quest to change my life and be healthy, I knew I had to get the kids on board. The first month was extremely unpleasant and they complained every.single.day. But now, a few months into the journey, their tune is pretty different. I had to stop purchasing junk food. Other posters are spot on. Quit buying the mindless eating foods. Keep your fridge and pantry full of fruits, veggies, jello, etc.

Prepare yourself: they'll freak out. They'll complain. They'll tell you they're going to die because they're so hungry. I promise, they will survive! And so you will you.

Set your boundaries and most importantly....keep them.

May I ask something personal? Are your kids thankful for the food they have? I know mine were not. I started making bags for homeless people to keep in my car and involved my kids in it. Doing that gave us the opportunity to discuss that while sometimes we have to keep a crazy tight budget, we have what we need. As my kids began handing out these bags, they began to discover that others go hungry. Others have no bed to sleep in. Others don't have a family like ours. Perhaps it might be good for your kids to volunteer at a food bank or get involved in a service project. Just my opinion, but changing what you keep in your pantry is part of the issue. There is a heart-issue involved as well.

Hang in there. You are diligent in providing for them, you're diligent in loving them. Be diligent in helping them learn the value of what you bring home for them to consume.

You have this absolutely right. This is not just a food issue, but an issue of helping kids understand what it means to be a family where everyone is working together and understands financial constraints and boundaries. Something is wrong if you have to lock food up. And though I don't know the ages of the kids, if any of them are teenagers, perhaps they could get a summer job and help out the financial situation.

skonly

AGAIN LET ME SAY

I DONT BY CANDY OR SNACK CAKES OR THAT TYPE OF JUNK.
WHAT I MEAN BY JUNK IS RAMEN NOODLES POPCORN JELLO

WHEN I BUY CEREAL I BUY ORIGINAL CHEERIOS SHREDDED WHEAT CORN FLAKES BRAN FLAKES I DO NOT BUY PRE SWEETENED GARBAGE.
I DO NOT BUY POP. EVER. NOT AT BALLGAMES. NOT FOR HOME.

I AM TALKING ABOUT SNACKS LIKE FRUITS AND VEGETABLES AND NUTS AND YOGURTS AND EDAMAME

PLEASE STOP TELLING ME TO STOP BUYING "CANDY AND JUNK FOOD AND GET HEALTHY FOOD"

BECAUSE I DONT BUY IT!!! THE ISSUE IS THEY EAT IT ALL!!!


HOW MUCH CLEARER DO I NEED TO BE?!

Have you considered that they might just be hungry?

Growing kids eat a lot. This isn't unusual. They will eat whatever is there. Like cows grazing in a field all day. If that's all you spend on groceries a week for 5 people then you are doing very good.

RobynMWilson

Buy all healthy food and if they won't eat it, go ahead and lock up or stop buying the snacks then they will either HAVE to eat what you cook or go find food elsewhere! My bro and his wife go through the same things with their sons. Back when I was a kid, if I didn't eat what Mom cooked, I didn't eat, period!

Arexxx

If they eat all the jink food, dont buy any more. If they're truly hungry, they'll eat your cooking. AND they'll learn that the kitchen doesn't magically produce food

Maryaly40

I stopped buying the junk food every week. I only buy it as a treat. I stopped buying soda as my son got his first cavity (he's 9). Yes, I freaked! He now drinks water more often. Noone in the house likes Kool aid so I do buy drink boxes. But only 1 pkg per week and when they're gone they're gone. I don't know how you do it $75 per week! I have a 13 yr old step son who lives with us every other week for the full week, I spend more at the store the weeks we have him as he's an eating machine!! But that's ok, he's growing. My 9 yr olds appetite is getting larger as well. I still spend roughly $100 to 150 per week even w/o buying junk food or soda. My only wish now is that my son will eat more veggies and fruit. He's super picky. :grumble:

Sharyn913

Here's a great idea -- STOP buying the junk food that they inhale.!!

Who is the adult in the house? Who runs the house??

My son started wanting junk food each night. After a week or two I realized all the crap he put into his body. I strictly told him "Healthy snacks, or nothing. Don't even ask if you are wanting candy or a lollipop" the following day he would ask for a "healthy snack" and he started eating cut up apples each night.

If your kids are that adamant about eating crap food and it bothers you that much, depending on their age, they can "earn it" Do chores. Ask for help cleaning up the kitchen or vacuuming and in return you will buy an extra bag of popcorn. My son is only 3.5 but you would be surprised what he will do for a SINGLE M&M. He will clean his entire bedroom for one M&M!

Take charge of your home.

losermomof3

Sounds like my family. We have 3 sometimes 4 kids and one income. The most I am allowed to spend is 150.00 and my teens are still hungry. We make to much for assistance. I use as many coupons as I can. I only put 2 junk food items in the cart, a pkg of cookies and a box of ice cream. Or a bag of chips and a pkg of cookies. Anyways, I understand what your going through and I have no advice for you except to tell them to start mowing yards if they want to buy food they want to eat.

MissAnjy

I understand that it's frustrating and can be expensive, but they are boys, it's their nature.

I have two boys myself. My situation is quite different, although MUCH more expensive. My children have Cystic Fibrosis ("CF"). CF breaks every rule you've ever learned about nutrition, healthy eating etc. My children cannot digest fats, proteins etc and have to take enzymes in order to do so, although, they aren't fully digested as your body normally would on it's own, so I have to PLY my kids with HOARDS of food, just to keep them at a healthy weight. If they drop weight, they become more susceptible to infections, that can ultimately cause death in them because of their ailment.

I'm a single mother. My ex-husband decided that this disease, and family life just 'wasn't for him" and he "wanted carefree living". I'm on my own with this. I find it extremely expensive, but these are my kids. Money is nothing. I'll spend my entire paycheck and live with nothing if it means I can feed my kids, keep them healthy, and keep them alive.

Your kids are healthy, growing boys. As hard financially as it may seem sometimes, feel blessed that they are nourished. That they are able to fill themselves, ingest food, digest food, and remain healthy.

I would give all the money in the world to be able to say that.

Kara_xxx

The biggest problem I can see is not your food bill but your children's lack of respect for your authority. I think the "healthy and growing" argument does not excuse the way they do not seek permission before taking things.

When I lived at home there was no way you would just "help yourself" to what you wanted.

You had to ask and respected the answer.

Meloyelo2010

So, they are at the age of puberty as much as I understand boys that age are eating machines which may continue into adulthood especially if they are active. I'd sit down with them, find out what foods they are in need of and go from there. Maybe even bring in a nutritionist or their pediatrician to figure out what you may be missing other than them being selfish little toads.

Kara_xxx

Who is the adult in the house? Who runs the house??
>>>
Take charge of your home.

That!

CarolinaGirlinVA

I have not read all 5 pages of replies (my 3 boys are being a bit of a distraction this morning!) Something I wanted to ask though, do you all sit down together for dinner? We are guilty of not doing that all of the time and I have found the nights my boys eat at the bar and their dad eats at the computer, they are more likely to play around, forget manners and waste food. My 9yo in particular has this new habit of no matter what I put in front of him, he finds SOMETHING to b!tch about. My parents were super strict with us and I think it had a lot to do with why I started to use food as a weapon when I was a teenager. (I became bulimic) I am a little more relaxed, but have found through trial and error there are certain issues I have to be firm about.

Many people have said stop buying snacks. I hate NOT having healthy snacks around the house, but when they are less available, the kids do eat better at meal time. I also buy in bulk and like someone else mentioned with freezing milk, I have a snack basket in the pantry and I put a variety of snacks in the open basket and then lock up the rest. Yes, I lock food up. I have told the kids the individual snacks are for day trips (park, beach, etc) and...if they are gone in two days, they are screwed until the following Monday when I restock. I refuse to buy snacks while we are out at gas stations or 7-11. I also create snack bags of healthy choices too. I will pop 2 bags of microwave popcorn and then put it in small portion bags and throw it in the snack basket. Lately I have been enforcing the "ask before you snack" rule, but unless I am home (not just their dad or 15yo brother) and not otherwise preoccupied, they will also sneak food. I have a lock on that pantry too and will be using it again. If they want a snack, they must ask me to unlock it. I also enforce the water between meals rule. Otherwise we would go through 4 gallons of milk a week.

Trust me, the pediatrician assured me they will eat when they are hungry. No snacks will lead to hunger. Honestly, I think my kids snack not out of hunger, but boredom and because it is there. I sent a FR!

Good luck!

stumpycow

I also think you should stop buying junk food. Especially if you're food budget is only $75/week. That crap is expensive! My food bill for family of 4 is $100/week and there is no way I can afford snacks, even with coupons! I do understand what you're dealing with. My kids are younger but my skinny-mini daughter (5 yo) eats as much as her father and my son eats like a bird but they both snack ALL DAY! But they snack on fruit, they easily eat thru $40 worth of fruits and fresh veggies in 3 days. Also, if my son doesn't eat his dinner, we save it for later, for that inevitable pre-bedtime "I'm hungry!!" We do lock up some food, like bread, PB, and cereal. if you stick with it, they'll either starve or eat. And they won't starve! Good luck!

Sharyn913

when my fiancé's kids are here, they are ridiculously picky eaters. i stopped cooking for them. if my fiancé wants to feed them peanut butter sandwiches every day rather than good healthy meals, that's fine...i refuse to deal with the crying fits at the dinner table. but my kids know better than to refuse food. if they don't eat it, they'll get the leftovers for lunch the next day.

I know this is off topic, but I felt compelled to bring it up. When you marry this man, his children become your children. You take on the mother role for his children, as he will for your children. Having this attitude about them will only lead to problems. Work WITH your fiance to work through this issue instead of having the "Well they are YOUR kids and YOUR problem" mentality. You don't want him to resent you down the road... and 9.9 out of 10 times, the husband chooses his children over a woman.

callikia

No more junk food. Done. Over. Eat healthy or starve. (Trust me...they won't starve. Survival instinct is great at keeping kids alive when there IS food but not the food they WANT.)

steph124ny

I have 4 kids that will eat everything that isn't nailed down. HOWEVER, when I tell them no, they listen. You don't have a food problem. You have a respect problem.

So, what are the consequences when they eat all the food in a day? Because at my house they would have nothing but meals I make until I shop again. Period. End of discussion.

They do it because you let them.

vim_n_vigor

I would stop buying the extras until they eat meals. My kids don't get the snack stuff if they don't eat their meals. You do need to make sure they have access to enough calories though. My doctor said my 4 and 6 year old should get around 2000 calories a day. I can only assume during that pre-teen and teen stage that they need even more.

yksdoris

I grew up in a household where the rule of thumb was: if you don't eat fast, YOU DON'T EAT! Seriously, one single brother will make all food disappear like magic! And it really didn't matter what kind of food it was: fruit went even faster than yummies!

Now, it took a while and it's not perfect (because let's face it, snacks are tasty!) but what eventually worked in our family was getting the teenagers involved in the cooking process. If my brother was the one boiling that macaroni, then he sure as hell ate it. Sometimes he very proprietarily ate it all, but that's fine by me because he always put insane amounts of onion in everything, lol.

Perhaps you could sit down with your kids and assign each one of them one day a week, when they have to come up with a recipe for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the whole family, discounting any snacks. You'll offer help with the actual cooking (because, again, they're boys) - but it's a way to get them more involved in the choices they make. The one whose "day" it is, will surely be happy with the choices and if he isn't there's only one person to blame and that isn't you at the same time the other kids are wondering what they'll get. You'll probably even get a competitive thing going on because that's what boys do, they compete. It could be on who gets the cheapest meal together or, more likely, on who gets to "cheat" the most treats into the meal.

steph124ny

One mor question....what are they doing while they eat that much? If they are outside playing soccer, they can't be popping popcorn. You say you are on disability so you are home while this is all happening? Just say no, mama. Make them go do something else. Teach them to cook. I'm sure there is laundry that needs doing. Keep them busy.

Melanie_RS

I understand that it's frustrating and can be expensive, but they are boys, it's their nature.

I have two boys myself. My situation is quite different, although MUCH more expensive. My children have Cystic Fibrosis ("CF"). CF breaks every rule you've ever learned about nutrition, healthy eating etc. My children cannot digest fats, proteins etc and have to take enzymes in order to do so, although, they aren't fully digested as your body normally would on it's own, so I have to PLY my kids with HOARDS of food, just to keep them at a healthy weight. If they drop weight, they become more susceptible to infections, that can ultimately cause death in them because of their ailment.

I'm a single mother. My ex-husband decided that this disease, and family life just 'wasn't for him" and he "wanted carefree living". I'm on my own with this. I find it extremely expensive, but these are my kids. Money is nothing. I'll spend my entire paycheck and live with nothing if it means I can feed my kids, keep them healthy, and keep them alive.

Your kids are healthy, growing boys. As hard financially as it may seem sometimes, feel blessed that they are nourished. That they are able to fill themselves, ingest food, digest food, and remain healthy.

I would give all the money in the world to be able to say that.

^^^ this puts it in perspective. I can't imagine

Camason04

the simple - obvious answer for all of this is DONT BUY THE SNACK FOOD!! You are in charge, you make the decisions, and eventually they will come around. Let them starve for a couple days. Once they get the hint that your REALLY serious, they will eat what you make and what you have that is good for them.

jsbpitch

Get rid of the Internet package on your phone. That'll save you a ton of money.

CriosDubh

This has probably already been said, but don't buy snack food in easily consumed portions like bags of popcorn, mini Doritos bags, pudding cups, micorwavable mac and cheese, etc. make them cook it or dish it into small containers if they want it. And YES lock your pantry! I have locked mine and keep it locked and don't feel bad AT ALL. I am looking into locking the fridge, too.

I would keep no crap in my house at all if my husband didn't insist upon having chips and cookies. He knows better now than to leave that stuff unsecured. They can have his treats with permission.

My kids have access to ingredients, fresh fruits, vegetable, water, and milk. If they want mac and cheese or pudding, they make it. if they want popcorn, they have to get out the popper. If they want chocolate milk, they have to ask me for access to the NesQuik and then make it themselves. Cheese cubes? No, ma'am, they cut that stuff themselves off a big block from Costco. Cookies and brownies? then it's baking time! They're learning valuable skills and portion control. One of my kids made homemade ice cream the other day because he wanted some and it wasn't time to go shopping.

I do, however, buy yogurt cups. my children seem to be incapable of understanding that you cannot eat directly from a large container of yogurt.

My rule is, if you don't like dinner, then you are on your own. I will help them prepare things that are difficult or dangerous, but that's all.

I have to invest in a lot of small, reusable containers and snack-size bags, but it keeps my costs down and makes them understand that food is to be appreciated, not mindlessly gobbled.

And abut the milk, try keeping some powdered milk around for shortages. Kids will learn to ration themselves if they have to drink it, and in recipes, it's indistinguishable from real milk.

jacksamjack

Stop buying junk food and start stocking the fridge with a large bag of mixed fruit and other natural goodies for snacks. Buy popcorn that they would have to actually pop themselves for "junk". It will cut costs, they'll probably eat more home made food, and their health would benefit from the change. If its (chips and stuff) not there...they certainly can't eat it.

This!

MinnieInMaine

They are 11, 13, 14. I don't have a problem with the "if u don't eat dinner u can go without" I was raised that way.
I don't work, I'm disabled. Telling them to stay out of the kitchen is like expecting to win a lottery.
Boys are sneaky

Guess I'll just get a locking cabinet. I don't like the idea of having to lock up food. But it's getting out of control.

I think a lot of people missed this post by the OP...

They are definitely old enough to at least start helping with the cooking (if not cooking for themselves) and may appreciate your efforts more if they're with you when you're shopping and helping out with the cooking. You need to make them understand through experience - teenagers don't get how money works until they start earning and budgeting their own.

I like the idea someone else posted of making snacking a little less convenient. Instead of microwave or fully popped bagged popcorn, buy an air popper and kernels. You may still need to hide the cereal and chips since those aren't the kinds of things you can control easily. Forget about a locking cabinet, just keep them in the trunk of your car and hide the keys.

misscristie

Stop buying the snacks and junk. When they get hungry enough, they'll eat. I promise.

Amryfal

when my fiancé's kids are here, they are ridiculously picky eaters. i stopped cooking for them. if my fiancé wants to feed them peanut butter sandwiches every day rather than good healthy meals, that's fine...i refuse to deal with the crying fits at the dinner table. but my kids know better than to refuse food. if they don't eat it, they'll get the leftovers for lunch the next day.

I know this is off topic, but I felt compelled to bring it up. When you marry this man, his children become your children. You take on the mother role for his children, as he will for your children. Having this attitude about them will only lead to problems. Work WITH your fiance to work through this issue instead of having the "Well they are YOUR kids and YOUR problem" mentality. You don't want him to resent you down the road... and 9.9 out of 10 times, the husband chooses his children over a woman.

lol thanks, but i think we have our relationship pretty well figured out.

dragonc321

Growing up we never had junk food in the house. Don't buy snacks and they will have no other choice but to either go hungry or eat healthier. I have 2 teenage brothers who eat my parents out of house and home. My parents are on a tight budget as well. Try shopping at Costco or some other bulk item stores. You have to pay for a membership, but you save money in the long run. As someone else said, such is the price you pay for having children. Not to judge your parenting skills, but continue to punish when they disobey your rules. Consistency is key. My daughter is only 4 but she knows there are consequences for not listening.

VanessaGS

Straight up...just don't let them go in your room. If they ask for something then you get it for them. Tell them that they either eat what you cook or starve. You are not a restaurant. Or in general just stop buying the treats. Put nothing but healthy food in the house. If they're hungry enough then they'll eat it. Also, try buying a different milk that they can't eat with their food. Organic soymilk is delicious with Vanilla. You should try it. I'm sure they're gonna think it's healthy and not want to drink it. That way you will have it all to yourself.

ernielaurie

Seems obvious to me, stop buying snacks and stick to healthy food. No one has ever died from not getting snacks!