serious problem

helen0616

So here's my completely irrelevant position on this situation..

I can completely understand the OPs frustrations and think it's good for a person to vent from time to time. I recently took in my two nieces and my nephew because my sister was deemed unfit by the state. Unfortunately, before now I haven't had a lot of time with my nieces and nephew aside from holidays. I was completely oblivious to the fact that my sister was struggling with addiction. I've been in the military and have been out of state since I turned 18. I'm 25, single, and now all of a sudden a parent to a 6 year old, a 9 year old, and a 12 year old. I had to put college on hold so I could take care of the children. I have to wait an extra year now to reenter the physical therapy assistant program I was in. There was just no way I could manage school, work, and the 3 kids when they first moved into my household. Things around here can be tough because It's me and only me. When they moved in they had absolutely no manners and hadn't had any type of structure for the longest time. I've worked really hard with the children on their behavior. The children can devour food. I've really struggled keeping food in the cabinets on my limited budget. I do buy the kids snacks.. and not always the healthiest stuff. I now have rules set up in the household. I am really strict about what comes out of the fridge and the pantry. Nothing gets eaten without asking first. $75 dollar per week is a tight budget and I'm sure the OP is aware of that but sometimes you can only do the best you can. I feed the 4 of us for around $100 per week. Our budget is what I would consider shoe string. My job is't the greatest job especially since I've had to cut my hours to be home when I need to for them. I am squeezing every penny I can. I buy what's on sale and I use a lot of coupons. It's been almost 6 months and I haven't received any aid from the state yet. I should be getting my first check next month. It will be close to around 500 dollars. That will definitely make things easier around here. It will at least cover groceries for the 3 kids.

Don't get me wrong.. this post is a rant.. and I AM b*tching. Not at anything in particular. Not at my sister. Not at the children. Not at the state who has taken their sweet time helping with aide. I am just *****ing because sometimes it's all I can do to keep from going crazy. Life's hard.. lol.

With that said, I love my nieces and nephew. I will continue to support them and raise them like my own as long as necessary. They have been a handful but I love them with all of my heart.

... *Exhale* Rant Over.

I am really glad to see something uplifting come from this ridiculous original post. Good for you, you're giving these children the skills and abilities they will need to become successful adults. And hopefully your sister will find the motivation she needs to get better. Best of luck to you!

healthtenderfoot

A LOT of people are saying the kids have no respect for the parent here, but in what I've read through these posts [yes, all pages], I'm seeing a huge lack of respect from the mother to the kids. Respect is a two way street, not one.

I still find this ridiculous. Food shouldn't be hidden or locked up, you're going to give your kids problems with food that they do not need to learn. It also sounds like OP is selfish about food, which is not okay to act like about food with your own kids.

These kids need to grow-up and given responsibilities, not be spanked on the butt for being hungry and eating! That's awful and a bit sickening. Also, these childern are well past the age of spankings, but yet you say your still doing this. Maybe if you treated them like actual people the attitudes towards you might change.

You chose to have these 3 boys and keep them to raise them into this world, not to control their every movement right down to locking up food. Get a grip.

Laceylala

OP, we're going to need an update, ok??

Dinner ...oven baked chicken, homemade mashed taters n gravy homemade cream corn.

Oldest ate corn n meat. Youngest had meat n taters. Middle ate meat with gravy. There is enuf in there for each to have 2-3 complete adult sized meals. Dinner was an hour n half ago. Already I'm hearing "there's nothing to eat! I'm hungry! "

I am done.

This is when you say "you should have eaten your dinner, the kitchen is closed sorry!" I HATE seeing my daughter whine about being hungry because she is smaller than a lot of kids her age and I worry about her not getting enough even though I see how much she eats a day..and sometimes it can be as much as me or more. But the fact of the matter is - eat when its in front of you or not at all. Period.

lil_bit_crazy

I don't punish my kids for eating or being hungry. I punish them for WASTING food and then 15 minutes later going right back and WASTING MORE!
MONEY is not the issue. We budget EVERYTHING not just our food bill. (Gas, TV cell, everything!)
When friends come over, yes, that's budgeted in the meal and snacks too and we buy extra.

But after last nite...maybe you'll see what I go thru.

I made dinner. My son picked at it, left over half on his plate. I put it up.

I called EVERYONE in one room, all sat down and had a severe talk about meals and wasting food.

Less than an hour later my son says he's hungry again. So I warmed his plate up.

He doesn't want it. I said too bad drink water. No. Then you're not hungry go to bed.

He cries n throws a fit about how he's hungry. Oh well. He was given GOOD FOOD he chose not to eat it.
He says he wants soup. No. That's Saturdays lunch. Eat your dinner.

Next thing I know MY HUSBAND says yeah go ahead eat soup.

So today I get up and guess what I found?
His leftover soup that he hardly touched. Because he was. "Hungry"

So now lunch for Saturday is gone. My husband thought the boy was starving. And 2 meals are yet again wasted.

This is what I deal with DAILY.
And no my husband is not always here. He works. They do this even when he's at work. Sneaking into the kitchen wasting food or eating ALL the snacks. (Remember snacks at my house are fruits veggies nuts etc, not garbage like cakes n pop) So yes after the crap I go thru to make sure they get healthy meals and they waste them and are NOT hungry, locking the pantry is not wrong.

lisanorman6

You know, you've ranted and raved about this for days now. Lots of good people have offered you their advice, which you asked for. It's time for you to make some choices: try some of the insights people have given or don't. Stop complaining. Stop whining. Stop feeling sorry for YOURSELF.

This is a forum for sharing. If you believe that your parenting tactics are so wonderful, why the heck are you asking for help?

CLOSE THIS THREAD!!!

lil_bit_crazy

Being called a bi!ch and c unt and other names is helping? Wow! I missed that class.
Being told I starve my kids, even after showing pictures to see they aren't malnourished and are healthy, just wasteful ...thay must be helpful too.

And the best by far..I'm selfish because I want food for ALL my kids to have and eat and not be gluttonous, makes me a bad mom.
Really??!

And it hasn't been "days" it was started Tues at 11pm. What a day and a half ago?

I've gotten great advice. A lot of it came PM because they knew if it was posted on the main boards they would get attacked.

And I don't feel sorry for myself. But thanks for joining that bandwagon and assuming more stupid crap about me that was never said.

lisanorman6

I think you love the drama.

I'm not on a bandwagon, didn't call you names, etc. You're pretty quick to offer the same negativity to others. Beware, you'll reap what you sow.

Instead of actually saying positive things about what people have said, you've pretty much been defensive. If you take to heart the negative things people say in a chatroom, you ought to seek validation elsewhere.

lil_bit_crazy

I think you love the drama.

I'm not on a bandwagon, didn't call you names, etc. You're pretty quick to offer the same negativity to others. Beware, you'll reap what you sow.

Instead of actually saying positive things about what people have said, you've pretty much been defensive. If you take to heart the negative things people say in a chatroom, you ought to seek validation elsewhere.

That's part of the problem. YOU THINK...no I don't like drama. If I did I wouldn't have posted to begin with about how to stop the drama in my house. Again, you're assuming.

I didn't say you called me names. But you did jump on that bandwagon to attack me like 99% of the others and not helping the original situation.

And the ones who gave positive feedback, yes I've responded. BOTH on here and PM. Everyone including you missed it because you're all hell bent on making it look like I am a drama queen who starves kids.

I don't take anything negative to heart because I'm not a negative person. If that's how you are then that's you, not me. But I will say something when I get accused or attacked.

And if you get twisted and pi$$y because I defend myself then I don't know what to tell you.

I know I'm a dam good mom. If I wasn't I wouldn't care if the food lasted a day.

BTW validation and advice/suggestions are not the same. I never asked for validation.

Scott

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Cheers,
Scott
MyFitnessPal Staff