serious problem

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Replies

  • Ayla70
    Ayla70 Posts: 284 Member
    So here's my completely irrelevant position on this situation..

    I can completely understand the OPs frustrations and think it's good for a person to vent from time to time. I recently took in my two nieces and my nephew because my sister was deemed unfit by the state. Unfortunately, before now I haven't had a lot of time with my nieces and nephew aside from holidays. I was completely oblivious to the fact that my sister was struggling with addiction. I've been in the military and have been out of state since I turned 18. I'm 25, single, and now all of a sudden a parent to a 6 year old, a 9 year old, and a 12 year old. I had to put college on hold so I could take care of the children. I have to wait an extra year now to reenter the physical therapy assistant program I was in. There was just no way I could manage school, work, and the 3 kids when they first moved into my household. Things around here can be tough because It's me and only me. When they moved in they had absolutely no manners and hadn't had any type of structure for the longest time. I've worked really hard with the children on their behavior. The children can devour food. I've really struggled keeping food in the cabinets on my limited budget. I do buy the kids snacks.. and not always the healthiest stuff. I now have rules set up in the household. I am really strict about what comes out of the fridge and the pantry. Nothing gets eaten without asking first. $75 dollar per week is a tight budget and I'm sure the OP is aware of that but sometimes you can only do the best you can. I feed the 4 of us for around $100 per week. Our budget is what I would consider shoe string. My job is't the greatest job especially since I've had to cut my hours to be home when I need to for them. I am squeezing every penny I can. I buy what's on sale and I use a lot of coupons. It's been almost 6 months and I haven't received any aid from the state yet. I should be getting my first check next month. It will be close to around 500 dollars. That will definitely make things easier around here. It will at least cover groceries for the 3 kids.

    Don't get me wrong.. this post is a rant.. and I AM b*tching. Not at anything in particular. Not at my sister. Not at the children. Not at the state who has taken their sweet time helping with aide. I am just *****ing because sometimes it's all I can do to keep from going crazy. Life's hard.. lol.

    With that said, I love my nieces and nephew. I will continue to support them and raise them like my own as long as necessary. They have been a handful but I love them with all of my heart.

    ... *Exhale* Rant Over.

    Your nieces and nephew are very lucky to have such an amazing uncle, you're doing a fab job!

    ^^ This...

    Young man you have my respect :flowerforyou:
  • mbajrami
    mbajrami Posts: 636 Member
    So here's my completely irrelevant position on this situation..

    I can completely understand the OPs frustrations and think it's good for a person to vent from time to time. I recently took in my two nieces and my nephew because my sister was deemed unfit by the state. Unfortunately, before now I haven't had a lot of time with my nieces and nephew aside from holidays. I was completely oblivious to the fact that my sister was struggling with addiction. I've been in the military and have been out of state since I turned 18. I'm 25, single, and now all of a sudden a parent to a 6 year old, a 9 year old, and a 12 year old. I had to put college on hold so I could take care of the children. I have to wait an extra year now to reenter the physical therapy assistant program I was in. There was just no way I could manage school, work, and the 3 kids when they first moved into my household. Things around here can be tough because It's me and only me. When they moved in they had absolutely no manners and hadn't had any type of structure for the longest time. I've worked really hard with the children on their behavior. The children can devour food. I've really struggled keeping food in the cabinets on my limited budget. I do buy the kids snacks.. and not always the healthiest stuff. I now have rules set up in the household. I am really strict about what comes out of the fridge and the pantry. Nothing gets eaten without asking first. $75 dollar per week is a tight budget and I'm sure the OP is aware of that but sometimes you can only do the best you can. I feed the 4 of us for around $100 per week. Our budget is what I would consider shoe string. My job is't the greatest job especially since I've had to cut my hours to be home when I need to for them. I am squeezing every penny I can. I buy what's on sale and I use a lot of coupons. It's been almost 6 months and I haven't received any aid from the state yet. I should be getting my first check next month. It will be close to around 500 dollars. That will definitely make things easier around here. It will at least cover groceries for the 3 kids.

    Don't get me wrong.. this post is a rant.. and I AM b*tching. Not at anything in particular. Not at my sister. Not at the children. Not at the state who has taken their sweet time helping with aide. I am just *****ing because sometimes it's all I can do to keep from going crazy. Life's hard.. lol.

    With that said, I love my nieces and nephew. I will continue to support them and raise them like my own as long as necessary. They have been a handful but I love them with all of my heart.

    ... *Exhale* Rant Over.

    Your nieces and nephew are very lucky to have such an amazing uncle, you're doing a fab job!

    ^^ This...

    Young man you have my respect :flowerforyou:

    Yes, I agree. You are awesome.
  • jgarrisond
    jgarrisond Posts: 44 Member
    My kids do the same thing..It drives me crazy, on Sunday I bought 20 containers of yogurt since they were on sale 20 for $10, when I came home from work on Monday they were all gone..I have to go to the grocery store every night or they will eat everything I buy.
  • kayleec2
    kayleec2 Posts: 14
    bump
  • immeagain
    immeagain Posts: 16
    **see later post
  • skybird455
    skybird455 Posts: 172 Member
    I buy 2 dozen eggs at a time. Each kid get 4 eggs when I cook them.
    If I don't make homemade noodles I'll buy whole wheat spaghetti and make double (2#) ..enough for 10-12 ppl. They don't finish that.
    But they'll go back 30 minutes later and eat 8 mini bags of Doritos, each.

    I just don't get it. Even when the junk food is gone, they wont eat. All I hear is "I'm hungry! I'm starving!" But there is GOOD food there!

    I am seriously thinking I'm getting a locking cabinet.


    I bought yogurt for myself to increase my calcium because milk upsets my stomach. Got 40 of them last Monday (of last week) by Tues at noon I went in for my snack, not a single one was left.
    Its getting bad. One or 2 I don't care. But 3 kids, 40 yogurts in under 24 hours?



    I have 3 boys....they eat a ton! this problem is easily solved. DONT BUY THE JUNKY SNACKS such as chips and popcorn...thats the issue for you so STOP BUYING IT. Then they will eat what you cook....

    nuff said
  • deeharley
    deeharley Posts: 1,208 Member
    They are 11, 13, 14. I don't have a problem with the "if u don't eat dinner u can go without" I was raised that way.
    I don't work, I'm disabled. Telling them to stay out of the kitchen is like expecting to win a lottery.
    Boys are sneaky

    Guess I'll just get a locking cabinet. I don't like the idea of having to lock up food. But it's getting out of control.

    11, 13 and 14 year old boys are DEFINITELY old enough to make their own dinner. Mine are 12,13 and 15 and have been cooking for years. If keeping them out of the cupboards doesn't work, try the opposite - quit making them dinner. Make enough for whoever does eat, and leave the rest in the freezer. If they are hungry, they can find something to cook.

    That is also an age where it is not unhealthy or unrealistic for boys to be starving all the time. While my two youngest have to ask for food, the oldest has the run of the kitchen, with the stipulation that he ask if I'm saving the food he wants for something. At 6'1" and 150 pounds, with an active lifestyle, he needs about 2,400 calories a day just to maintain his weight.

    It does sound like you have a serious respect issue here, and locking the cabinets may not be a bad idea, though if they are as sneaky as you say, they will just pick the locks.
  • amsohs85
    amsohs85 Posts: 166
    I spend $175 a week to feed three adults, a 15yr old, a 3 yr old and and a toddler. Thats a good week...lol! Healthy foods tend to be more expensive but i bargain shop and know which stores have the best prices for certain items. If my kids want treats i bake them because prepackaged goodies are expensive. Stop buying the junk and they will eat what they are served..period!! Also kids are notorious for eating when they are bored which is a terrible habit to encourage. If they are eating three decent meals a day they will not starve if they dont have snacks. Kids will push the limits when allowed so its time to put your foot down. Best of luck!!
  • I am not going to repeat te stop buying junk food thing.

    the thing is you as the parent keep saying they have no control.

    it is your job to teach them control and to have consequences.

    frankly, the fact you have screamed at them, tried to punish etc already indicates they have a lack of respect for you and what you are doing in the household.
  • m_wilh
    m_wilh Posts: 362 Member
    Recoiljpr...... if they would EAT the food I made and not ALL the snacks and junk and treats in one or two days I wouldn't care.

    Well, then don't get snacks for a few weeks and only give them plenty of food you cook. They will eat it, I promise they won't starve. :-)

    Yeah, it sucks you can't keep a few treats for yourself, but for now that's really your only choice. Show them you mean business by not buying a single snack food for a while. They will get the picture.

    ^^^^This. And trust me. As the mom to 4 sons, I know EXACTLY how much a boy can eat which is a TON! However, if you quit supplying the snacks, they'll have no choice but to eat what is fixed. As for buying a locking cabinet, save your money. Put YOUR snacks in the closet and DARE them to touch it. If they do, there should be swift and serious penalty (whatever you feel is appropriate.) Our boys respect my boundaries. I have food in my closet for my husband because he works 12-hour night shifts. Our sons know to leave it alone and it isn't a problem. Also, the snacks I provide for my boys mainly are fruits/veggies. They eat eggs or oatmeal (not the instant but the kind you have to cook). It sustains them for hours. They rarely snack between breakfast and lunch. Cereal is expensive and the other two options will stretch your money a little farther. If you provide a lot of processed junk food, they'll naturally eat more as it is loaded with sugar and empty carbs which makes them hungrier.
  • m_wilh
    m_wilh Posts: 362 Member
    I am not going to repeat te stop buying junk food thing.

    the thing is you as the parent keep saying they have no control.

    it is your job to teach them control and to have consequences.

    frankly, the fact you have screamed at them, tried to punish etc already indicates they have a lack of respect for you and what you are doing in the household.

    ^^^^This too!!!
  • immeagain
    immeagain Posts: 16
    Locking up the food or not buying the food will not solve the problem. Discipline and teaching respect will solve the problem. You're looking for a solution beyond the obvious one that is not an easy task, but cannot be overlooked. If you're not confident in your own ability to discipline your children's habits, then they won't be confident in your ability to do so either, and this overindulgence and misbehavior will continue.

    If you want to eat popcorn, jello and occasional ramen, you should be able too. In fact, if you DO wish to eat ice cream and cake and huge bags of doritos and brownies, you should be able to do that. (Not saying you want too, but just saying that WHAT the food is, is actually a moot point). The point is that your kids should be respectful of your food choices, your finances and overall simply what you wish for them to eat (which is nothing too crazy, just proper meals).

    That being said, you really should get to the root of the issue by seeking ways that would teach your kids to listen to what you say. That might seem like a daunting task with adolescent boys (and adolescents in general -- I was one not incredibly long ago) but if you let them do whatever they want, you are going to go through grief and frustration like you are now and they will continue with disrespectful habits as they grow older as well.

    You noted that you tried a handful of different ways to make them stop. Were you persistent about it? Did you continue with consistency, or give up in frustration? Just like with losing weight, change comes when people are uncomfortable. Your children need to be uncomfortable for an extended period of time to learn that they need to change their behavior. You can't ground them for a day or two from video games or internet and expect them to learn a lesson. Be persistent in your approach and if you give in or give up, you are sending them the message that you aren't serious and that they truly can get away with what they wish.

    This has to be about more than food for you. You have to have the desire in your to teach your kids the proper way to live in a household and the proper ways to eat. I can tell by your messages that you truly DO wish to teach your kids the proper ways to eat (b/l/d and not merely snacks). You just have to build up enough strength and persistence in this pursuit to make a true change. Seek resources, research advice on children at that age: become friends with Moms on here that can offer you support (or anyone to offer support, for that matter).

    Best wishes :-)

    this!! Kids need limits and they need to learn respect, especially before they get any older!! They should respect the fact that you are on a budget, get them involved!!
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    My 8 year old just came and asked when dinner was. I said when dad and dss got home. Maybe an hour. I asked if he was hungry and he said "yes" I offered carrotts and strawberries. He chose to wait. (he WILL eat those when hungry, he loves them) He is happily playing in his room now. You think if I offered chips he would have said no? Exactly.
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
    You poor thing. I know how you feel, we have 2 teenage sons and they can eat like you wouldn't believe. But they eat what we give them, which is good, solid, nutritious food. I rarely buy snack foods. For snacks they usually eat lots of fruit and sandwiches, and freezer pops in the summer. I do keep popcorn in the house but it's old school kernels; you have to cook it on the stove (we don't have a microwave and zero interest in getting one). My sons are free to spend their allowance on junk food if they wish, but ha ha when it comes to their money they want to spend it on other things. This week we are on vacation so bought lots of snack-type stuff for on the road. I'm the one mostly eating it LOL!

    Stop buying the snack food and replace it with fruit and veggies. They can't eat up what's not there, and you won't waste money on junk they don't need anyway.
  • OnionMomma
    OnionMomma Posts: 938 Member
    I understand that it's frustrating and can be expensive, but they are boys, it's their nature.

    I have two boys myself. My situation is quite different, although MUCH more expensive. My children have Cystic Fibrosis ("CF"). CF breaks every rule you've ever learned about nutrition, healthy eating etc. My children cannot digest fats, proteins etc and have to take enzymes in order to do so, although, they aren't fully digested as your body normally would on it's own, so I have to PLY my kids with HOARDS of food, just to keep them at a healthy weight. If they drop weight, they become more susceptible to infections, that can ultimately cause death in them because of their ailment.

    I'm a single mother. My ex-husband decided that this disease, and family life just 'wasn't for him" and he "wanted carefree living". I'm on my own with this. I find it extremely expensive, but these are my kids. Money is nothing. I'll spend my entire paycheck and live with nothing if it means I can feed my kids, keep them healthy, and keep them alive.

    Your kids are healthy, growing boys. As hard financially as it may seem sometimes, feel blessed that they are nourished. That they are able to fill themselves, ingest food, digest food, and remain healthy.

    I would give all the money in the world to be able to say that.

    ^^^ this puts it in perspective. I can't imagine :(

    I can second this.

    My son was feeding tube dependent for almost 3 years due to medical issues he was born with.

    I am still not over the wonder of that fact that he eats, I take pictures of him all the time stuffing his face. It is a magical thing to behold.

    Growing boys will eat you out of house and home, it's just to be expected. It happened in my house growing up and my husband's house as well.

    I really don't think there will be a way you will be able to stop them from eating. It's what boys do at that age.

    That aside, someone mentioned pasta. I would def. say, feed them pasta. It's cheap and will fill them for longer, hopefully. :laugh:
  • veganbaum
    veganbaum Posts: 1,865 Member
    This isn't going to add anything new, but I think it's worth repeating a few pieces of advice.

    1. Get a whiteboard on which you make the weekly menu so the kids can see what each food item is for. (I think this was a great idea that another poster had.)

    2. Give them each their own shelf/container for snacks - dry and/or in the fridge. Each day these get filled up. The kids can eat whatever they want from their boxes that day. After that they must ask for other snacks (or possibly they eat their box snacks and after that they can have something like one peanut butter and jelly sandwich without asking, but not within a certain amount of time before/after meals). If they are eating other food without asking, there must be a CONSISTENT consequence.

    3. Keep the weekly popcorn and chip snacks locked up - in your room, in a cabinet, in your car - whatever, but the kids won't even see them until it's time to eat them according to your weekly menu.

    4. As so many have suggested, serve them their portion for each meal, if they don't eat it all wrap it up or place it in a container and when they start complaining about hunger in half an hour, give them their leftovers, period.

    5. Keep buying your yogurts or whatever for you. If they eat them while also implementing these other methods, they need a consequence.

    It does not sound as though your children are starving, it sounds like they have respect and boundary issues. Consistency is key - that's where discipline issues come from, a lot of parents will say one thing but not remain consistent with it. You and your husband are the parents, the children need to respect the house rules, period. It's going to be a long, hard road trying to correct behaviors. But it seems like implementing some structure with food and following through with consequences is needed. This is not being a hard *kitten* or a b****, it's being a parent. And it's not about restricting food, either. They can have snacks, but they have to follow the house rules. It's not child abuse to not allow your child to eat whenever and whatever they choose, so long as they are getting the nutrition they need.
  • KeriW626
    KeriW626 Posts: 430
    I agree with most the people I read, kinda. I dont think you should stop the snacks. But you should change them to the healthy kind of snacks you would eat, fresh fruit, veggies etc. The yogurt problem is where your personal fridge, in your room out of their way comes in. Lock it . Kerrp them out of your room. If they need a battery go get it. They wont need one as often if you dont have a box of micro popcorn or other snacks. You cant make cookies or muffins, quick breads for them to snack on. And when they run out they are gone.

    My mom was constanty on diets and got mad when we ate "her" diet food. With my kids they eat what I eat. I dont buy the junk food. I have a garden with all the cubumber you could want. I always keep fresh fruit around. Daughters eat alot of food when they are teens as do boys. My daughters even brought their friends home. But having learned how to make candy from their grandmother.. Thats how they spent their time. then they shared it with everyone there. Split it up and sent shares home.

    I dont understand the 75$. You must use coupons and sales ads. I did that when I had kids, It helped alot. Today since starting on MFP my grocery bill has dropped in half. I spend more than you. There are only two of us. Good luck.
  • KeriW626
    KeriW626 Posts: 430
    and yes I've busted their *kitten*


    they must be pre teens or younger. I cant imagine busting a teens *kitten*. Maybe do what my mother in law did, just bust them in the mouth with a wooden spoon? Hubby has a nice chunk of tooth missing. But he eats everything you put in front of him like it or not. I think with MFP he is learning better. We will know when we go to visit the in laws, and mom puts extra food in front of him. I will leave is she breaks out the wooden spoon. He is soon to be 50.
  • jerbear67
    jerbear67 Posts: 247 Member
    From what I can tell your kids have turned into spoiled rotten brats that have taken control of you. You need to regain control of your household by buying only the food used to prepare the meals for the week. Prepare them and if they don't like what you have cooked then tough they go "hungry". Don't bring "treats" into the house and they will eat what you have prepared.
  • lil_bit_crazy
    lil_bit_crazy Posts: 161 Member
    Ok lots of good suggestions. Great! I will get a huge desk calendar instead of a white board because they can't erase the calendar.

    Also for those saying stop giving snacks give fruit or veggies ..THAT is what our snacks.are.
    I don't buy chips and popcorn to just eat at any time. The chips are specifically for Burger nite (usually Saturdays) and that's it. Popcorn is one nite a week for movie nite. Since I DO buy mostly in bulk, it easier to get the big box of popcorn rather than 1 or 2 small ones each week. That's the "junk" I refer to.

    We sat tonight and went over rules again. I informed them the rest of this week we will eat the same thing every day because they've eaten everything else. And they have been told if it happened ONCE more, I'm buying beans n rice and NOTHING ELSE for a month. Breakfast lunch dinner is beans n rice. The pantry locks are the next step.

    Yes I admit they are brats. And to whoever said hit them in the mouth with a spoon, that IS child abuse. They get *kitten* whipped when needed.
    They are healthy. They just have no control.

    ***please before you comment, read all my replies and see if I've addressed whatever you are going to say. The whole junk food fruit veggie healthy snack thing is getting old.

    There are also pictures on one of the pages. You can see for yourself my kids aren't starving that they really are just little.
  • tajmel
    tajmel Posts: 401 Member
    Don't want them to munch their way through every expensive, empty caloric food you have in the house? Don't buy them. We keep a pound of cut up carrots, cheese sticks, and apples in the fridge at all times. Once or twice they've eaten an entire pound of carrots, but carrots are .50/lb.

    Having trouble getting them to eat what you cook? Stop giving them an out. Children adapt. There's no "kid food" in my house, and my kids eat things some adults won't touch (spicy foods, sushi, curry, leafy veggies.)

    Having said that, I'm incredibly disturbed that you've grounded and beaten your children for eating. Way to ruin their relationship with food. Children need tons of calories and are disorganized eaters. YOU teach them how to eat. If you don't want them to eat over priced snacks, don't buy them. Providing the right foods is your job. When I was eight I was left alone with half a watermelon for eight hours. I knew it wasn't kind to eat all the watermelon, but I was hungry and it was available. I was shamed for it (not grounded or beaten). I never forgot, and it was one of the major events that formed the basis for my opinion that I was a fat glutton.
  • KeriW626
    KeriW626 Posts: 430
    When did I say I buy name brands? And so what if my budget is $75? I can get 250-300 dollars of food for $75 dollars.
    As for the one saying they need 5 servings of this n that and only getting 2... I said. They eat it ALL AT ONCE.

    Let me type slower maybe you can understand.
    I get PLENTY of food to meet and exceed the daily requirements of kids and adults.

    If I buy 25 bananas, ONE KID will eat 20 of them in a day, leaving not enough for the rest of the family. If I buy apples, 10 pounds, another kid will eat the whole bag, again, leaving none for.anyone else.

    We can afford our kids. They were EACH planned. Well in advance.

    Ideas on how to stop that shovel eating behavior is one thing. Attacking me about how I care about my kids is uncalled for.

    AND THE JUNK FOOD IS CHIPS ON HAMBURGER NITE (SATURDAYS) AND POPCORN ON MOVIE NITE (ONCE A WEEK) NO I WONT STOP BUYING THOSE. I DONT BUY POP OR GARBAGE.

    Calling your children pigs is uncalled for. If you don't want to be judged, don't judge your children on a public forum. You can stop the shovel behavior--as other people have said--buy not buying snack foods. If you only eat the popcorn once a week, only buy enough for that one night. If you only eat chips once a week, only buy it on that one day. 1 child is not eating a 10 pound bag of apples in one day. That is ridiculous.
    I have used coupons in the past. I was a coupon/rebate queen. They do not make coupons for no name brands. I promise you. Yes they go on sale, the store brands do. But there are never any Kroger brand coupons in the sunday paper. They dont usually put out refunds on store brands either but it does happen. One thing you can get with coupons name brand is the yogurt.

    When making up the menu why not have the kids help you and try to cook things they will eat. For example: my youngest will not eat tomatos any kind. So when I make speg. I let her have the pasta, she puts butter and parmasean on it. But I the rest of the family enjoys exactly what I cook. They eat what they serve themselves. If they dont their step father wraps it puts in the fridge and when they get hungry again an hour or so. He tells them where their dinner is. If they dont even serve themselves because they just dont like what I made. Their only other choice is bpj. Ive never been big on sugar and sweets. The girls learned from grandma how to make their own candy. Before that, I allowed them to have ice cream on sat. mornings. My mother in law complained about the amount of sugar they got on Sat. am. So I told them they could have a home made cookie with it. I figure that is no worse than the surgar cereals with milk. She got pissed. In the end. those are some of the best memoriess they have Sat. morning. When I bought fruit I would tell them as we put the food away how many say apples each of us gets. They stuck to it. They traded each other fruit for fruit.

    I would never ever call my children the names you do yours, not to their face or behind their back. I have this little thing called RESPECT for them. I have never had them call me names either. It would be a pitty for your children to leave home and not come back because you call them names etc. and dont work with them on issues like this. In stead you come on here not for advice but to vent. But that is you. I am differant a whole differant kind of parent in all ways.

    I hope your posting here gives you the answers you are seeking and some how you find a loving way to work this out with your children, maybe invole dad? Definatly involve love and comprimise. Ive made three posts. this is my last. Good luck with you and yours.
  • KeriW626
    KeriW626 Posts: 430
    I had an older brother and a younger sister. Imagine when we were all teenagers at the same time.

    If you were hungry, there was always bread and peanut butter. Chips were a rare treat. The big event was when my Dad made a thin crust homemade pizza on a Saturday night for a snack!

    I'd reduce the snack, and start buying milk one at a time. I'd read them the riot act too. There must be some pain point you can use to hold over their heads. Xbox, TV or Internet time, etc.

    Good luck. You are already performing a miracle in feeding them for $75 a week. My family of 3 is probably double that.

    i dont see it here, but you mentioned Kool Aid. as many have.... who remembers making kool aid popsicles? We also used to make popcycles from milk, sugar and cinnomon. ahhh the good old days.
  • KeriW626
    KeriW626 Posts: 430
    Im the one whose husband was hit with a spoon by his mom, to get him to eat what she served. Now he eats anything put in front of him. So I know it works.

    In my state both the spoon to the mouth and the whipping at thier ages is abuse. Soooo what is abuse now, wasnt abuse 40 yrs ago. and abuse is abuse.... If you leave marks its abuse. doesnt matter where it is. I cannot imagine, what I assume you mean by whipping, spanking my teen aged kids.
  • KeriW626
    KeriW626 Posts: 430
    Don't want them to munch their way through every expensive, empty caloric food you have in the house? Don't buy them. We keep a pound of cut up carrots, cheese sticks, and apples in the fridge at all times. Once or twice they've eaten an entire pound of carrots, but carrots are .50/lb.

    Having trouble getting them to eat what you cook? Stop giving them an out. Children adapt. There's no "kid food" in my house, and my kids eat things some adults won't touch (spicy foods, sushi, curry, leafy veggies.)

    Having said that, I'm incredibly disturbed that you've grounded and beaten your children for eating. Way to ruin their relationship with food. Children need tons of calories and are disorganized eaters. YOU teach them how to eat. If you don't want them to eat over priced snacks, don't buy them. Providing the right foods is your job. When I was eight I was left alone with half a watermelon for eight hours. I knew it wasn't kind to eat all the watermelon, but I was hungry and it was available. I was shamed for it (not grounded or beaten). I never forgot, and it was one of the major events that formed the basis for my opinion that I was a fat glutton.


    this
  • lil_bit_crazy
    lil_bit_crazy Posts: 161 Member
    Tajmel ....where in hell do you see ANYWHERE that I BEAT my kids?

    A swat on there *kitten* with my hand is called an *kitten* whipping, not a beating.

    Go read before you accuse. Matter of fact, try reading all of it because I'm tired of repeating myself about the snacks I buy.
  • shellebelle87
    shellebelle87 Posts: 291 Member
    Maybe you should stop complaining. Kids get hungry, kids eat. I have the same problem with my housemate, will eat all the junk the second it is in the house. So I keep it in my room, problem solved.

    I know it must be frustrating having to repeat yourself all the time but 11 pages is a lot to get through, and I am sure that the majority of the repeat posters didnt bother reading the whole way through. So chill out. You wanted advice, whether it is repeated or not, it is still advice. How about being thankful instead rude and snappy?

    Edit: And I did read all of them, and you got increasingly bitter as each page went on.
  • marz42
    marz42 Posts: 223 Member
    I buy 2 dozen eggs at a time. Each kid get 4 eggs when I cook them.
    If I don't make homemade noodles I'll buy whole wheat spaghetti and make double (2#) ..enough for 10-12 ppl. They don't finish that.
    But they'll go back 30 minutes later and eat 8 mini bags of Doritos, each.

    I just don't get it. Even when the junk food is gone, they wont eat. All I hear is "I'm hungry! I'm starving!" But there is GOOD food there!

    I am seriously thinking I'm getting a locking cabinet.

    I bought yogurt for myself to increase my calcium because milk upsets my stomach. Got 40 of them last Monday (of last week) by Tues at noon I went in for my snack, not a single one was left.
    Its getting bad. One or 2 I don't care. But 3 kids, 40 yogurts in under 24 hours?

    Wow...something weird seems to be going on. 13 yogurts EACH in 24 hours? I take it they are teens? Maybe they are having lots of friends over when you are still at work or something like that?

    I think if they are old enough to have any clue at all (I'm pretty sure my 7 year old nephew would understand some) sit them down and explain the situation to them about the money. Ask them what sorts of real food they might eat. Maybe even involve them in the decision making and meal plan...say we have x amount of money etc, story problem time. If the other non kid is a spouse, what is their role in all this, do they support you?
  • marz42
    marz42 Posts: 223 Member
    Recoiljpr...... if they would EAT the food I made and not ALL the snacks and junk and treats in one or two days I wouldn't care.

    But now it's like I'm wasting money on good food going in the trash, and snacks n treats for anyone else for the week because they want to Hoover it almost before its in the door.

    If they ate b/l/d then had a snack I'd be happy as a clam! But they don't. I can't afford to keep tossing food in the trash off their plates nor buy snacks they will inhale which doesn't last more than a day or 2.

    Stop buying snacks.

    They will either learn to eat the healthy food you have, or they will go hungry (which they won't). Don't have popcorn or chips around period. My mom did this with my brother, and he eventually started eating the chicken and veggies etc that she cooked.

    Cut up carrot and celery as snacks, with ranch dip or PB. If the kids don't have the option of junk, they will eat whatever is available.

    You can probably get a really big bag of popcorn kernals and a big thing of some vegetable oil and show them how to make their own in a brown bag Alton brown style or in a pot on the stove then they can have a whole lot of it for cheap if they are hungry for snacky things and its fairly healthy.
  • tajmel
    tajmel Posts: 401 Member
    Quote from the OP: "and yes I've busted their *kitten*"

    I have no idea how hard or often you hit your children. However, if you don't want to convey that you beat your children, you should consider using less violent language. I don't think hitting is an appropriate punishment for eating, but none the less saying "I've tried swatting/spanking them" conveys a very different meaning than "busting their *kitten*" or giving them an "*kitten* whipping".
    Tajmel ....where in hell do you see ANYWHERE that I BEAT my kids?

    A swat on there *kitten* with my hand is called an *kitten* whipping, not a beating.

    Go read before you accuse. Matter of fact, try reading all of it because I'm tired of repeating myself about the snacks I buy.
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