can you date your brothers ex wife

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Replies

  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
    to quote the immortal Cranquistador..
    NO.
  • CrusherKun
    CrusherKun Posts: 353 Member
    Ok before you come here and immediately say no.. listen to the story..

    I have only met her once before and that was ten years ago.. they divorced 8 years ago.. i havent seen her or talked to her in ten years.. then she brings my nephew up for vacation to visit my parents.. and we kinda hit it off. it wasnt expected. And if i am single and she is single whats it hurt right.. or am i way off base..

    now you bring up they have a child together.. well he hasnt seen his son in years.. he is not in his life he doesnt even pay child support..

    am i just making this stuff up in my head that it is ok because we really like each other or should i just not do it..

    wOw - Jerry Springer is that you?
  • missbp
    missbp Posts: 601 Member
    Hmmm . . .

    I am going to go with, sure. Why not?

    I hate to be judgmental, but your brother sounds like kind of a jerk. He has a kid whom he does not see or support. That's just not cool.

    The ex wife sounds pretty cool, considering that she brings her child around to see his/her grandparents.

    Things to consider . . .
    1) How your relationship will affect the child. He/she already has a dad who totally dropped the ball. Don't be the uncle who does the same.
    2) Are your parents cool with this?

    Good luck!
  • CrusherKun
    CrusherKun Posts: 353 Member
    So you potentially become your nephew's step father?

    I'm reminded of an old song...

    My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad
    And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad
    For if he were my uncle, then that also made him brother
    Of the widow's grownup daughter, who was of course my step-mother

    What kind of music did you grow up listening too!!!
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    If you're not that close to your brother, I'd say go for it. If you have a good relationship, REALLY question just how much you want to be with her, over how much you want to keep that relationship with your brother.

    And if you do decide to date her, prepare for the family backlash.
  • DSTMT
    DSTMT Posts: 417 Member
    Going to weigh in as one of the only people to say I don't really see an issue with this if you are open about it and tread carefully. The kid doesn't have to call you 'Uncle Dad" and any future kids you had together would be their half siblings. To me, this is no different than when a partner passes away and that person's brother/sister ends up with their widowed spouse. It's more common than you think.

    If you go for it though, make sure you keep your distance for any child support hearings and family court proceedings. That is their business, not yours... and if you meddle, you could lose more than a brother, it could alienate you from a lot of family.

    I agree with this
  • NathanB2002
    NathanB2002 Posts: 18
    NO. Don't go there!
  • cad39too
    cad39too Posts: 874 Member
    Relationships, even the best ones, come with their own drama at some point....why have a relationship that begins with drama?!
  • CrusherKun
    CrusherKun Posts: 353 Member
    WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT........ we are all ignoring one simple fact (and maybe no im too lazy to read all 14 pages of response)

    Dude.....What does she look like?
  • SamanthaD1218
    SamanthaD1218 Posts: 303 Member
    WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT........ we are all ignoring one simple fact (and maybe no im too lazy to read all 14 pages of response)

    Dude.....What does she look like?

    Hahaha you are horrible.

    Also, if he then has a kid with her, her children will be both cousins and siblings?
  • CrusherKun
    CrusherKun Posts: 353 Member
    WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT........ we are all ignoring one simple fact (and maybe no im too lazy to read all 14 pages of response)

    Dude.....What does she look like?

    Hahaha you are horrible.

    Also, if he then has a kid with her, her children will be both cousins and siblings?

    I didnt say it wasnt messed up, but heck, it still a valid question....she aint his blood....hahahahaha!
  • rob1976
    rob1976 Posts: 1,328 Member
    It'd be different if your brother had only gone out with this woman once or twice.

    Dude, they used to be married, live in the same house, have sex, and had a child together.

    Do you really want to ever date a girl that can say "that's not how your brother did it"?

    If you decide that you must participate in this train wreck, at least get your brother's blessing before you do anything.

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