can you date your brothers ex wife

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Replies

  • xarge
    xarge Posts: 484 Member
    Something smells rotten in Denmark.

    Kudos, I won't fix the quote :p
  • Topsking2010
    Topsking2010 Posts: 2,245 Member
    Even if I didn't speak to my brother, there is no way I'd consider it.


    Did it ever cross your mind that this is some type of payback!!

    Both of you are nuts!!!!
  • Dayna154
    Dayna154 Posts: 910 Member
    Ok your brother and his ex have obviously moved on, now you want to bring both of their pasts back into their lives.
    Do you and your brother see each other often? Does your family do holidays together?
    Does your nephew want to see a dad who hasn’t done anything for him in a long time? More than just you and her are at stake here.
    I think first off the child should be thought of, then look further..
  • tweetybaby69
    tweetybaby69 Posts: 258 Member
    Two words - 'Uncle Daddy'

    ^^This!!
  • JmeHarris
    JmeHarris Posts: 38
    I'm only surprised by the number of people who are saying to go ahead. I'm all for a "live and let live" approach to life, but some things are just not cool. This is one of them.
  • CallieM15
    CallieM15 Posts: 910 Member
    Point by point:

    I have only met her once before and that was ten years ago
    - doesn't matter, it's your brother's ex-wife

    they divorced 8 years ago
    - doesn't matter, it's your brother's ex-wife

    i havent seen her or talked to her in ten years
    - doesn't matter, it's your brother's ex-wife

    we kinda hit it off. it wasnt expected
    - doesn't matter, it's your brother's ex-wife

    And if i am single and she is single whats it hurt right
    - doesn't matter, it's your brother's ex-wife

    or am i way off base
    - yes, you are

    well he hasnt seen his son in years.. he is not in his life he doesnt even pay child support
    - this matters, it makes your brother a piece of ****. But it's still your brother's ex-wife

    am i just making this stuff up in my head that it is ok because we really like each other or should i just not do it
    - doesn't matter, it's your brother's ex-wife

    Need anything else explained?

    Bahhhahaaahaaa
  • theskinnysociopath
    theskinnysociopath Posts: 2
    well it's not exactly the best idea. Clearly things didn't end right. you should probably keep looking
  • bleacheblonde
    bleacheblonde Posts: 333
    Oh man, I'm glad I'm not in this situaiton but I have committed my fair share of social faux-pas, so....I would say give it a try. Unless your brother and you are totally buddy-buddy, but it sounds like maybe he wasn't that great of a guy to her so....I'd say give it a go! Lots of people might say it's off-limits according to the "rules," but I don't really believe in rules for things like dating. You have to do what works for you, not everybody else.
  • QLWard1
    QLWard1 Posts: 2
    There are certain "lines" that you should never cross-regardless of the situation. This is definitely one of them. Ask her if she can hook you up with one of her single friends.
  • htimpaired
    htimpaired Posts: 1,404 Member
    `
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
    You only met her once, so it's not like you've been harboring feelings toward each other. And look on one hand the answer is no, she's should be off limits, but on the other hand life is really to short to let someone you enjoy being around go away just because she used to be your sister in law. And who's to say it's going to work out, but can't hurt to try and see where it leads
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
    This isn't even a family situation:

    Pastor of my church was divorced. Two years ago he tried dating his ex-wife again - it didn't last long and a number of months later he met another lady who he eventually married. He's been married for over a year now.

    Worship leader at my church has been there for a very long time, works directly under/with Pastor and they have been very close for years. Two years ago when Pastor was dating his ex, Worship leader was dating someone - that relationship didn't last long.

    I recently ran into Worship leader and his new girlfriend at a social function. Some friends from my (old) church were there.

    Worship leader is now dating Pastor's ex.

    Minds were blown all around - and like I said, no one is related there!
  • misskatibear
    misskatibear Posts: 158 Member
    Honestly, it's easy for people to sit back and judge. And had you not been in that situation, it kind of is human nature to do so.

    I'm went through a similar situation myself - Although it wasn't a sibling of mine, rather - my partners sibling.

    We went through the okay with the sibling, and honestly it was quite a few years ago and they didn't care one bit - also particular sibling treated me very badly... my partner treats me very very well :)

    I noticed you don't speak to your brother, so I would have suggested that you OK it with him first - But honestly, I think you should do what you and the lady feels right. You said the family are okay with it, double check with them, see if it makes them uncomfortable at all. And yeah, it will be strange for the child, but worse things have happened, at least he will have a father figure.

    Don't be put off by people judging you, only you know yourself whether it is right or wrong.

    And fyi, we've been together for over a year now and it's great :)
  • SueD66
    SueD66 Posts: 405 Member
    answer is still no
  • lstone03
    lstone03 Posts: 57 Member
    Isn't this the plot of the client list? I say go for it and don't agree to go on any talk shows.
  • jg627
    jg627 Posts: 1,221 Member
    Something smells rotten in Denmark.

    Kudos, I won't fix the quote :p
    lol I was in a hurry and misquoted a little bit, but that was the first thing that came to mind when I saw the topic. It's all fun and games until everybody dies in the last act.
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
    "This is my uncle... Wait, no, my step-dad... wait, no, my uncle..."

    My roommate in college has this situation. Her step-brother was also her cousin and they all had the same last names. Her dad was okay with his brother marrying his ex-wife.
  • MissShancey
    MissShancey Posts: 464
    i said it already ... but ill just go ahead and say it again ...

    No.
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
    Everything happens for a reason. Looking to sleep together... not a good reason! Finding a loving, committed relationship with friendship and stability... there's a good reason. Try to figure out which motives you have for considering checking out a relationship with you ex sister in law and then you will know if you should be heading into relationship potential together. Another words~ only for the right reasons like; if it's truly meant to be. Stability will be good for your nephew but a rocky relationship between his uncle and mom wouldn't be. Figure this part out first. My best advice without knowing any of you.
  • jg627
    jg627 Posts: 1,221 Member
    To the OP, I think the real question here is: whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them?
  • Maraleen_M
    Maraleen_M Posts: 14 Member
    Life is short. Live it. Love is rare. Grab it.
    It's your life, your choices. I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I just lived the length of it; I want to have lived the width as well. :heart:
  • bluefox9er
    bluefox9er Posts: 2,917 Member
    Ok before you come here and immediately say no.. listen to the story..

    I have only met her once before and that was ten years ago.. they divorced 8 years ago.. i havent seen her or talked to her in ten years.. then she brings my nephew up for vacation to visit my parents.. and we kinda hit it off. it wasnt expected. And if i am single and she is single whats it hurt right.. or am i way off base..

    now you bring up they have a child together.. well he hasnt seen his son in years.. he is not in his life he doesnt even pay child support..

    am i just making this stuff up in my head that it is ok because we really like each other or should i just not do it..

    I will never ever ever crticise my wingman again. sounds like you need to read ''the bro code'', dude.
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
    Nope - dont touch it. I see too much drama and yes an episode of Jerry in the making
  • cohophysh
    cohophysh Posts: 288
    Negatory!

    Dude.... Your brother put his junk in that. No. Just no


    We have a winner!!!!

    No matter what, you will always know your brother had his slimy penis in the place you wanna put your face (assuming you do that sorta thing).
    Nope.....just let it go man.

    really, what difference if it is his brother or someone else...at least he knows his brother
  • alex88carolina
    alex88carolina Posts: 108
    That would be a big negative ghost rider!
  • pichild
    pichild Posts: 72 Member
    Ask your brother and your parents
  • coolasafan
    coolasafan Posts: 75
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJtEUfSAfOk
  • rpounds1957
    rpounds1957 Posts: 177 Member
    EEEEWWWWWWWWW!!

    That's my answer.
  • beansprouts
    beansprouts Posts: 410 Member



    Did it ever cross your mind that this is some type of payback!!


    Well....It sure crossed my mind...especially if "ex" brother has moved on to another relationship/family.
  • PunkyG210
    PunkyG210 Posts: 94 Member
    I get the impression that your brother and his ex and his son don't see each other, nor does he pay child support. That makes him a sperm donor, not a father.I also get the impression that you don't see your brother often and don't seem to have a brotherly relationship. He cheated on the girl, so obviously he had no respect for her or their relationship. If you decide to go forward with this girl, I'd say, at least just tell your brother that this is what you intend to do. I don't think you need to ask his permission.

    Then, I'd talk to your parents about it and ask for their opinion and feelings about it.. It doesn't seem that your parents see her or their grandson often either. I didn't get the impression from the info that you gave that your parents have any problem with her. I don't think the rest of the family should have any say in the matter. And if your parents are aware that their son treated her badly and doesn't bother with his son, I'd think they probably would be ok with it.

    Then, my next question would be: How old is your nephew? How does he feel about his father? Do you and he get along?
    If he's old enough to understand, I would say that you and her should talk to him and ask him how he would feel if the two of you started spending more time together and eventually started dating or even some day ended up getting married if things go well.
    It's possible that he doesn't even consider your brother to be his father and doesn't even really know him. If your nephew is bothered by it in any way, I'd say to stop right there.

    And, if it were to get to the point where you'd consider getting married, in my opinion you'd still remain "uncle" as that is the blood relationship. Kids see so much and know so much today. There are tons of "non-traditional" families out there. I don't think it really matters whether he'd call you uncle or Dad. I'd leave that up to him. I really don't think that many kids today would be phased by the fact that their friends step-dad is his uncle or his uncle is his step-dad. And, if your nephew has no problem with it, he probably wouldn't have a problem telling his friends that his father was never around and his mom ended up marrying his uncle.

    It seems that this family hasn't been close to the ex and your brothers son and it's not like she did something horrible to him and he divorced her for indiscretion. I'd say, once you see how your parents would feel, and then talk to your nephew, if all those parties are ok with it....go right ahead and I wish you luck.

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