can you date your brothers ex wife

sarahkatara

whoops

Jenncoc86

Bros before hoes, talk to your brother

angryguy77

Yes, but only if you tape and post the next family get together.

alohacandi

there's plenty of fish in the sea... don't do it, family is more important... take it from someone who was on the other side of the stick

Nikki_42

I really want to be like hell NO. But just from the simple stuff you wrote I can't because it sounds like there are a lot of factors.

I wouldn't ever do it, but if you two are genuinely happy who are we to really judge? Just be ready for consequences from family, friends, etc.

SF2514

I'd say go for it. She's not your blood and your brother sounds like a douche. I saw somewhere back, "He must have divorced her for a reason". Who said she didn't divorce him? If your happy and she's happy why not take the chance? If it doesn't work out, oh well. Atleast you won't have to wonder years down the road if you missed your chance for happiness because some people on the internet don't approve of something they are no where near involved in.

mikeyboy

Really dude? That is you brother's ex! Wear a condom.

paulaviki

I'd say no.

Even if your brother is a tool it will have wider implications in your family and personally I would want all that stress in my relationship. But only you know deep down whether it's the right step.

misscristie

Ask your Mom and Dad. If they say go for it, go for it. I don't buy into the whole thing of once a friend/family member/etc has had a relationship with someone that they are now off-limits. It's not like you and her are having an affair while she's still married to him.

sofakingawesome69

GO for it, what he lost out on could be your gain. Who cares? If you and her are ok with it then do it. Back in the day if a husband died the brother stepped in and married the widow, seems like your brother is dead to the kid anyhow. Why not take care of your Nephew in the process. Losing your brother is the worst that can happen.

ElizabethRoad

there's plenty of fish in the sea... don't do it, family is more important... take it from someone who was on the other side of the stick

You cheated on your spouse and abandoned your child?

bellygoaway

I am from Texas, and it is NOT ok here... Ever! Now some of the states that we share a border with???

Hellbent_Heidi

I find it interesting that so many people are focused mainly on the fact that your relationship to the child wouldn't fit a certain label.

Same here...especially since the OP noted that his brother hasn't seen the kid in years and doesn't pay child support. I'm guessing he could use a father figure at this point, and so what if its technically his uncle? Its not like they broke up last week and the brother is devasated over losing his wife...doesn't seem like that big of a deal in today's society (there are much worse situations out there).

I'm still not sure it's the best idea - it could work, but I'm thinking of ways it could be difficult for the kid. Still, the issue of "omg you'd be an uncle and a step-father is so WEIRD" is not really a concern for me.

Agreed - it could be really weird, but if his dad isn't in his life now (and the kid has to be over 8 years old at least and likely has no emotional ties to his biological father anyway), he probably would have comfortable connection to the OP (vs some random stranger she could end up with). If the brother and ex got married very young (which this situation sort of implies..since they were in the military), its very likely there's no residual feelings between them and no 'real' connection aside from the child who the brother doesn't see or support anyway.

My thought is that it couldn't hurt to see where it might go. It might be a harmless flirtation, or something great, but dating her doesn't mean he automatically will become the step-dad anyway...

_Timmeh_

EX-SIL-WB

amysuespears

Personally, I wouldn't want to be my siblings sloppy seconds... and, I just don't think it's right to date your sibling's ex.... it crosses a line that should never be crossed no matter how close or distant you are with your brother IMO.

Brannock8

For your brothers sake...


Hows it taste?!

QueenGorgo

I gotta think for you to need to ask for help in this means somewhere you're conflicted enough to know it might not be the best idea...I always try to look at life like this..you do what you're going to do and you have to be prepared for the consequences..from him, from your family, from your friends..that's going to place a ton of internal pressure on your relationship..now I don't recall but if your family is cool with it that at least helps..

I just think there's too many psychological time bombs ticking by having a relationship like this..I mean for me just KNOWING I'm having intimate relations with someone my brother has been with would be enough for me to pass...

But again you have to do what's best for you, her and any children involved..just be prepared for a lot of people not to understand and not think the best of you or her..You might want to even condiser getting therapy- both individual and couples just to learn how to deal with all of the fall out...Good luck though in whatever you decide to do...

Dethea

Ask your Mom and Dad. If they say go for it, go for it. I don't buy into the whole thing of once a friend/family member/etc has had a relationship with someone that they are now off-limits. It's not like you and her are having an affair while she's still married to him.

I agree with this. Actually, I have read through all of the posts, and I'm still on the side of go for it. Weirder things have happened, and you should be happy. Take things slow, see where they go.

And if nothing else, it will probably royally piss off your brother. :drinker:

SVCat

If anyone from West Virginia says no, then NO!!!!!!!

ipag

No way, I wouldn't even date a friends ex, let alone my brother's ex. She's also divorced for being a cheater, and I've learned in my life once a cheater, always a cheater.