Chuck Norris...

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bikermike5094
bikermike5094 Posts: 1,752 Member
in Chit-Chat
Whats your favorite Chuck Norris line?
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  • KCoolBeanz
    KCoolBeanz Posts: 813 Member
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    Chuck Norris once had sex in a semi-trailer. Some sperm accidentaly got into the engine, and Optimus Prime was born.


    BAM!
  • fiveohmike
    fiveohmike Posts: 1,297 Member
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    Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer....too bad he never cries.
  • Shells06
    Shells06 Posts: 109 Member
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    Steroids once tested positive for Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.

    Chuck Norris does not need Twitter...he's already following you.
  • twistofcain
    twistofcain Posts: 190
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    "Here is a Chuck Norris fact, I kicked his *kitten*" -Bruce Lee
  • fiveohmike
    fiveohmike Posts: 1,297 Member
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    Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
  • gwduker
    gwduker Posts: 293
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    There are 6 billion people in the world, because Chuck Norris allows it.
  • fiveohmike
    fiveohmike Posts: 1,297 Member
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    The main export of Chuck Norris is pain.
  • LokiOfAsgard
    LokiOfAsgard Posts: 378 Member
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    Who would win in a fight? Superman or Batman?
    Answer: Chuck Norris
  • Shells06
    Shells06 Posts: 109 Member
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    Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • TexanThom
    TexanThom Posts: 778
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    "Thanks guys". Me and a buddy of mine were in a "gentlemans" club in Dallas. They asked if we could move so Chuck could sit there.
  • fiveohmike
    fiveohmike Posts: 1,297 Member
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    If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
  • katamus
    katamus Posts: 2,363 Member
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    Chuck Norris counted to infinity... Twice.
  • Shayztar
    Shayztar Posts: 415 Member
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    Chuck Norris never calls a wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
  • KCoolBeanz
    KCoolBeanz Posts: 813 Member
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    Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
  • jonward85
    jonward85 Posts: 534 Member
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    Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting. Hunting implies the chance for failure. Chuck Norris goes Killing.
  • ambrwaves27
    ambrwaves27 Posts: 206
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    When Alexander Graham bell invented the telephone he had missed three calls from Chuch Norris.

    Chuck Norris can understand women :):)
  • fiveohmike
    fiveohmike Posts: 1,297 Member
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    A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
  • Runs4CupCakes
    Runs4CupCakes Posts: 132
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    my 10 yr old loves chuck norris jokes a few he has told me: chuck norris doesnt flush the toliet he scares the crap out of it, the boogie man checks under his bed for chuck norris at night, there is no such thing as tornados chuck norris just doesnt like trailor parks and, chuck norris doesnt breathe he holods air hostage,,,,
  • MrsB724
    MrsB724 Posts: 247
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    Chuck Norris is the only guy that can turn lemonade into lemons.

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