Chuck Norris...

dandaninc

"Here is a Chuck Norris fact, I kicked his *kitten*" -Bruce Lee

BOOM!

mminor77

"Here is a Chuck Norris fact, I kicked his *kitten*" -Bruce Lee

BOOM!

If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his *kitten* kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

Feisty_Red

mminor77

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

JPod279

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

MikeyD1280

Chuck Norris can find the G-spot, everytime, even when he isn't around.

TheRoadDog

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.

JPod279

A friend of mine actually knows Chuck and was in several episodes of Walker, Texas Rabger as one of the goons he would always beat up.

Ok, now back to the Chuck Norris ism's aslk;dgjv;l Damn! He got me!

starcatcher1975

Entertaining read while finishing up a long day at work

MikeyD1280

Chuck Norris Autographs don't exist because when he grabs the pen, his grip squeezes the ink out of it

I_wanna_live

:yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:

Anyone besides me, tired of all these stupid Chuck Norris jokes? And don't tell me, that I shouldn't have came theh... cause they are everywhere!!! IT IS LAME AND OLD... let them die out

LishaCole

"You can't name a bridge after Chuck Norris... because nobody crosses Chuck Norris"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQj7QUVOkqk

HisPathDaily

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

MikeyD1280

:yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:

Anyone besides me, tired of all these stupid Chuck Norris jokes? And don't tell me, that I shouldn't have came theh... cause they are everywhere!!! IT IS LAME AND OLD... let them die out

oh no... watch out.. he may now be behind you!!....:noway:

LillysGranny

LOVE these!

BSchoberg

:yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:

Anyone besides me, tired of all these stupid Chuck Norris jokes? And don't tell me, that I shouldn't have came theh... cause they are everywhere!!! IT IS LAME AND OLD... let them die out

I am dying to know what you "edited..." lmao

MikeyD1280

:yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:

Anyone besides me, tired of all these stupid Chuck Norris jokes? And don't tell me, that I shouldn't have came theh... cause they are everywhere!!! IT IS LAME AND OLD... let them die out

I am dying to know what you "edited..." lmao

he just had the :yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn: but then the devil took control of his body to add in words, because that's what the devil does, he makes people do crazy things... like mock Chuck Norris... :bigsmile:

I_wanna_live

:yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:

Anyone besides me, tired of all these stupid Chuck Norris jokes? And don't tell me, that I shouldn't have came theh... cause they are everywhere!!! IT IS LAME AND OLD... let them die out

oh no... watch out.. he may now be behind you!!....:noway:

Good, then he can prove half of these are false

I_wanna_live

:yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:

Anyone besides me, tired of all these stupid Chuck Norris jokes? And don't tell me, that I shouldn't have came theh... cause they are everywhere!!! IT IS LAME AND OLD... let them die out

I am dying to know what you "edited..." lmao

The bold was added

MikeyD1280

:yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:

Anyone besides me, tired of all these stupid Chuck Norris jokes? And don't tell me, that I shouldn't have came theh... cause they are everywhere!!! IT IS LAME AND OLD... let them die out

oh no... watch out.. he may now be behind you!!....:noway:

Good, then he can prove half of these are false

you can just have fun with them :drinker:

wood2415

Superman and Chuck Norris once fought. The loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.

JPod279

A nurse once tried to draw Chuck Norris' blood. The needle bled instead.

I_wanna_live

:yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:

Anyone besides me, tired of all these stupid Chuck Norris jokes? And don't tell me, that I shouldn't have came theh... cause they are everywhere!!! IT IS LAME AND OLD... let them die out

oh no... watch out.. he may now be behind you!!....:noway:

Good, then he can prove half of these are false

you can just have fun with them :drinker:

I have more fun with friends, and playing any game I hate... than making up things that make Mr Norris, or anyone else, to be something more than human. A human who spent his life training and acting; yes, but anyone one of you could have done the same thing... easily. But choose other fields.

Edited to fix an error

MikeyD1280

:yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:

Anyone besides me, tired of all these stupid Chuck Norris jokes? And don't tell me, that I shouldn't have came theh... cause they are everywhere!!! IT IS LAME AND OLD... let them die out

oh no... watch out.. he may now be behind you!!....:noway:

Good, then he can prove half of these are false

you can just have fun with them :drinker:

I have more fun with friends, and playing any game I hate... than making up things that make Mr Norris or to be something more than human. A human who spent his life training and acting; yes, but anyone one of you could have done the same thing... easily. But choose other fields.

I think a bunch of college kids started it. It's kinda funny that it just sticks only with CN, I bet no matter who they would've picked, it would still probably continue... It cracks me up what people come up with like, slam a revolving door... CN was just added into the impossibles..

digitalbill

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his parents did.

JPod279

:yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:

Anyone besides me, tired of all these stupid Chuck Norris jokes? And don't tell me, that I shouldn't have came theh... cause they are everywhere!!! IT IS LAME AND OLD... let them die out

oh no... watch out.. he may now be behind you!!....:noway:

Good, then he can prove half of these are false

you can just have fun with them :drinker:

I have more fun with friends, and playing any game I hate... than making up things that make Mr Norris or to be something more than human. A human who spent his life training and acting; yes, but anyone one of you could have done the same thing... easily. But choose other fields.

I think a bunch of college kids started it. It's kinda funny that it just sticks only with CN, I bet no matter who they would've picked, it would still probably continue... It cracks me up what people come up with like, slam a revolving door... CN was just added into the impossibles..

You guys realize the Most Interesting Man in the World campaign is a spin on the CN list? Stay thirsty my friends!

I_wanna_live

\I think a bunch of college kids started it. It's kinda funny that it just sticks only with CN, I bet no matter who they would've picked, it would still probably continue... It cracks me up what people come up with like, slam a revolving door... CN was just added into the impossibles..

You guys realize the Most Interesting Man in the World campaign is a spin on the CN list? Stay thirsty my friends!

Yeap, he is annoying as well.

JPod279

Chuck Norris' dog picks up it's own poo because Chuck Norris don't take crap from nobody...