Chuck Norris...

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Replies

  • jonward85
    jonward85 Posts: 534 Member
    Some magicians can walk on water...Chuck Norris can swim through land!
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
  • KCoolBeanz
    KCoolBeanz Posts: 813 Member
    Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming that Law and Order are actually the trademarks for his right and left legs.
  • kimchi84
    kimchi84 Posts: 56
    "Chuck Norris eat lightning and farts thunder" hahahah
  • StarkLark
    StarkLark Posts: 476 Member
    Chuck Norris once slammed a revolving door.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    chuck norris does not swim, water just likes to be around him \m/
  • jonward85
    jonward85 Posts: 534 Member
    Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
  • StarkLark
    StarkLark Posts: 476 Member
    Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
    Haha LOVE this one! :laugh:
  • kristen807
    kristen807 Posts: 361
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj2Zf9tlg2Y

    ^^^all of it

    just a disclaimer: language
  • jonward85
    jonward85 Posts: 534 Member
    Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
  • rvagnoni
    rvagnoni Posts: 75 Member
    bump
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
    Juck Norris once had a "Who has the most testicles" contest against Lance Armstrong.
    Chuck Norris won by three.
  • thoshowski
    thoshowski Posts: 135 Member
    bump
  • darkknightfan
    darkknightfan Posts: 396 Member
    when bruce banner gets mad he turns into the hulk.. When the Hulk gets mad.. he turns into Chuck Norris
  • jonward85
    jonward85 Posts: 534 Member
    Albert Einstein discovered an alternate reality in which the Chuck Norris there was more powerful than the Chuck Norris here. Chuck Norris found out about this and round housed him before he could publish his findings. Albert Einstein is now known as Stephen Hawking.
  • KCoolBeanz
    KCoolBeanz Posts: 813 Member
    Juck Norris once had a "Who has the most testicles" contest against Lance Armstrong.
    Chuck Norris won by three.

    This is AWESOME!!!!
  • ambrwaves27
    ambrwaves27 Posts: 206
    Juck Norris once had a "Who has the most testicles" contest against Lance Armstrong.
    Chuck Norris won by three.


    HAHAHAHAHA!!!
  • Morgan103084
    Morgan103084 Posts: 73
    Does Chuck Norris fart? of course not, no body talks *kitten* behind his back and gets away with it!
  • tnshahud
    tnshahud Posts: 163
    Chuck Norris don't break hearts, he breaks legs!!!
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    Chuck Norris' mom gave him a shovel to play with as a child. We now have the Grand Canyon.
  • CinJay
    CinJay Posts: 157 Member
    When the boogeyman goes to bed at night, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris

    Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

    Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

    Chuck Norris can make a Slinky go up the stairs.
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    Chuck Norris was born on February 30th

    Chuck Norris can compare apples to oranges

    Chuck Norris puts his pants on two legs at a time

    Chuck Norris spelled backwards is "pain"
  • Sinisi2012
    Sinisi2012 Posts: 333 Member
    Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

    There are too many to pick just one favorite, but this one would definitely be in the top 3!
  • Denjo060
    Denjo060 Posts: 1,008
    these are great!!!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :bigsmile:
  • cmpollard01
    cmpollard01 Posts: 246
    Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
    Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
  • ambrwaves27
    ambrwaves27 Posts: 206
    Chuck Norris doesn't need to wait for a bite when he goes fishing, the fish know Chuck doesn't like to wait.
  • koen612
    koen612 Posts: 83
    Chuck Norris dosent use bubble gum if he wants to blow bubbles he chews beef jerky :)
  • WendyFitMomCHANGED
    WendyFitMomCHANGED Posts: 311 Member
    I once heard that when you're typing about Chuck Norris he sneaks up behind you and bangs your head on the keyb......fdlkc;dcfddsls;pplo;p
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
    Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
    Haha LOVE this one! :laugh:

    Hey! I posted it first! You just acknowledge hers first because she has a boob shot in her profile pic and I don't. :grumble: LOL :tongue:

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